Happy New Year!! I'm hoping the fresh start brings us prosperity.

What's Stranger This Onion Or The Fact I'm Blogging About It?

I'm easily amazed.

I sliced an onion for our lunch. A few hours later I noticed the half we didn't eat, had something  beginning to stick out. As more time went by, the core began to stick out even further. By the end of the day, it looked like this.

It was fascinating to me. I asked my family why they thought the onion was doing this. They all though it must have to do with pressure and moisture leaving the cut onion.

As I studied it even further, I began to wonder if many onions have two cores like this. How exactly do onions grow?

The layers remind me of tree rings. Can you tell the age of an onion based on its layers? Maybe not in years of course, but what triggers the onion to grow another layer? How does the layer count relate to onion size?

What if I push down on one of these columns? (It stopped "growing" out from the onion.)

Can I make this happen again? I don't recall other onions I've sliced doing this all that often, but have I ever taken the time to notice?

It's beautiful to me, something not commonly seen. It doesn't take much to set my mind sailing. Each question I have leads me to more wondering.

How will learning so much about onions help me? I don't know yet. All I know is onions have engaged my attention for the moment. That's part of the beauty of unschooling. I can become an onion expert for the sole reason of, it satisfies my natural curiosity. My onion obsession is all mine!

An Unschooled Reading Success Story

DS14 recently told me, he likes reading huge novels because, "..it feels like I'm on a journey."

He's there, where I wanted him to be. He reads for pleasure and the bigger the book, the more he enjoys it.

When I was his age, someone would have to force me to read a book by making it a required assignment for school. I couldn't really enjoy reading it either, because of the fact the assignment would always have a timed deadline. I would always be thinking, I have to get through this book, not, what can this book give to me?

My son has discovered the dilemma of book lovers- you don't want to finish reading because then its over, but at the same time, you want to see how the story ends! I think this is one reason why he chooses long stories. When he picks up a plus sized book, he doesn't think, "Ugh, this will take me forever to read." He instead thinks, "YES! This is a story that will last me awhile!"

We don't give him time limits. We've instead given him the freedom to read when he wants to, as much as he wants to. He usually chooses to read when the rest of us go to sleep and the house is quiet, although I've caught him unable to put the book down during other times as well. We usually allow him to sleep until he wakes up, knowing he went to bed after reading late. (Plus I strongly feel teenagers need extra sleep.)

The thing I struggle with now is, I have so many books I wish he would read. Isn't this true for all of us book lovers though?

"So many books, too little time!"

I think I will copy another unschooler friend's idea. She has a bookcase designated for books she hopes her family will read eventually. I need a shelf for myself too. I'm constantly thinking I don't have anything to read, only to discover later, I really did.

For the record, my son did not use any reading curriculum to learn to read. He learned to read because we read to him. Simple as that, I kid you not. He would have been considered a late reader because he didn't start reading on his own until around age 8, but within the year, he was reading chapter books. When he was ready, it happened really fast.

We don't require him to write book reports or test his reading comprehension. Informally, he'll simply share with us what's going on in the story and what he thinks of it. Often we'll read the same book so we can share and discuss it together. Through our discussions, its very apparent his comprehension is strong, and he finds inspiration through reading.

His recent "journey" comment also shows me he's enjoying the whole process, not just the result.

I'm going to keep praying. I don't know where I would be without it!

Christmas Notes....

(The photo is the fresh veggie tray I made for our Christmas gatherings.  I copied the idea from a friend, and it went over very nicely. Wish I still had one to munch on now!)

DMIL spoiled us rotten!! We wouldn't have had such a nice Christmas without her. Unfortunately, she isn't feeling well, and she headed home early. We're hoping and praying she'll feel better soon, and hopefully we'll see her next weekend.

DS10 got the one thing he put on his Christmas list, Modern Warfare 2. G-Ma also got him a t-shirt with the game on it. I'm predicting he'll want to wear nothing else but this t-shirt the next few weeks.

DS14 pretty much got everything on his list as well. Of course they've been spending most of their time in the Man Cave, gaming. I expected this, but DH & I have no energy to do anything else, so for now this works.

Last night DH & I did try out our new family present, Wii Resort. We played Frisbee golf and it was a lot of fun. Of course it doesn't take much energy to flick your wrist. LOL!

Christmas Eve was great, having DH's aunt's family over, along with G-Ma, but I was so tired by the end of the night. I suppose getting up at 4:00am caused that.

Christmas Day was awesome too and with my sister hosting my family's gathering, it was wonderful not having to travel more than 3 blocks away. We're used to having to travel during Christmas in order to be able to see extended family.

I'm glad we've had a couple of days after Christmas to recoup. All the partying has left us feeling run down. I'm giving myself one more day of rest, and then I'll try to get back into a routine.

I will not allow post holiday depression to sneak in. We're grilling burgers, spreading out the beach blanket in the living room and watching cheesy horror movies tonight. I want to remember what summer feels like.

My News Interview

My sister found my news interview on the station's website. If you're interested, I thought I'd post the link here. Once you are on the NBC15 news Morning Show page, scroll along the video titles on the right side of the page and click on "Swim West Interview 12/24."

I want to point out, 10 seconds before the LIVE interview, she leaned over to me and said, "Tell me what this is about. I have no idea."

Apparently no one had told her what to ask me. Days before the interview, the producers sent us questions and we sent back answers. I was prepared for something entirely different!!

My husband thinks it still went well, but I have trouble watching it!! LOL!! My heart still races when I think about it! I feel badly I couldn't get in the information my boss was probably hoping for, but it really wasn't my fault the news lady didn't know the prepared questions.

I thought those of you whom I've never had the chance to meet in person, may like to know what I sound like. :) 

http://www.nbc15.com/morningshow

Merry Christmas!!! Hoping everyone has the chance to share peace, love, health and happiness with their loved ones!

~I'm trying not to freak out about the potential ice storm approaching. I'd rather deal with a foot of snow than a layer of ice. The timing couldn't be worse.

Random Ramble................................

Worked at home today, all day. After months of working 5 days a week, it was wonderful to not have to drive in, yet I kept feeling like I didn't belong at home.

DS10.11 is going crazy with impatience. Christmas can't come fast enough. I'm sure he's waiting for one present in particular, and then we'll never see or hear from him until he decides to eat.

Yumi is having trouble keeping to her diet. She's only allowed 1/2 cup a day because she needs to lose a few kitty pounds. We can't feed her diet food because she's allergic to corn. We feed her a grain free kibble, 1/4 cup in the morning and 1/4 cup at night. For some reason, she's been devouring it so quickly. I don't get it. She's been hunting for more food and we find her in places she shouldn't be.

I made soft ginger reindeer cookies. I noticed one pretzel antler missing and worried it was the cat. Thankfully DS10.11 confessed, and I didn't have to throw the batch away thinking the cat had possibily licked them all!

Better Late than Never Christmas cards should go out tomorrow. I tried to send cards to only loved ones we won't see the next few weeks. (I'll be so glad when survival unemployment mode is over.)

I have to pick up a few last minute gifts tomorrow, and my paycheck. In reserve order.

I can't believe they are forcasting rain for Christmas Eve and snow for Christmas Day. To me that translates to ICE!!

DS14 told me why watches are made with quartz. Turns out the vibrations from quartz have the amazing abilitily to keep accurate time.

Surprised Russell didn't win, yet completely understand why Natalie did. Next season's twist sounds really interesting- Villians vs. Heroes

I really shouldn't wait for the end of the day to drink water, but I get so busy during the day, I forget to drink.

Chocolate covered pretzles had to be invented by a woman. Whoever she was, I thank her immensely!!

I forgot to tell Santa I need chocolate covered cranberries too.

My mind is now wandering in a dangerous chocolate direction. I better go find a better distraction.

Make Love, Not War.....

We've just realized. We have root beer and vanilla ice cream in the Sleepyhouse. Who wants a root beer float?

I Don't Feel Ready Yet...

If my house were clean, I'm sure I'd feel better. I probably will spend the better part of tomorrow cleaning. Its my only day I won't have to work up until Christmas Eve. Tempted by the potential for an increase on my paycheck, I've decided, like a moron, to cover a co-worker's shift on Sunday. Didn't I just tell myself I'd work on better late than never Christmas cards?

Since I began working at the pool, I'm used to taking off the last two weeks while we are in between lesson semesters. It always meant I could relax at the end of the year and enjoy the holidays. This year however, being in unemployment survival mode, I'm choosing to pick up extra shifts through the end of the year. I'll take off Christmas Eve through the weekend, but I've created a pile of projects to keep me busy otherwise.

Of course as we get closer to family arriving, I'm realizing, I shouldn't have agreed to this. I would feel better if I had more time to clean, bake and get into party mode. Although I tend to want to go overboard, so perhaps scaling back my preparation time is a good thing after all. I need to remember I have a house full of men who can help me clean too!

Christmas Eve, I'll be getting up earlier than any human should, and preparing to go on the local news. If you pick up NBC 15 out of Madison, you'll see me being interviewed regarding our family swim food drive. My boss couldn't make it and our marketing person didn't feel comfortable going on camera.

I'm doing it, because frankly, when it comes down to it, I don't care how fat and old I'll look on camera. I just want people to bring food donations for the food pantry!!!  I've come to really understand why so many families have to rely on food pantries.

I'm asking my husband to go with me, and I think the boys should go too because I could then turn the opportunity into a homeschooling "field trip."

"Let's check out a TV station kids!"

I'm sure they are not going to want to get up that early, and plus someone has to stay home and tape it. DH is already predicting it will be the most requested video during our Christmas visits with extended family.

... MUST FOCUS ON THE GREATER GOOD!

... MUST FOCUS ON THE FACT THIS HUMILIATION IS FOR CHARITY...

I probably shouldn't bring my kids because they are already hoping something crazy happens and the clip ends up on You Tube. I could just see them trying to make me laugh off camera or something worse.

I don't need 15 minutes of fame via a viral video. Really, I don't. I'm not going to scream if a lizard jumps on me or puke my guts out. Its going to be a boring lady, who needs a haircut and a little more makeup, talking about how you can swim for free if you bring in two non-perishable food donations.

It's not like its my first time on TV. I was on Bozo's Circus and even got to play Bozo's Buckets! Thankfully VCR's weren't around back then!!

Rosemary White Bean Soup -aka Dawn's Kicking Cancer Out Soup

Description:
I adapted this recipe from the book, What To Eat During Cancer Treatment by the American Cancer Society. I make a batch and shared it with my favorite neighbors. It is really delicious and so easy!

Ingredients:
1 T olive oil
1 onion, chopped
1 carrot, chopped
1 celery stalk, chopped
3-4 garlic cloves, smashed and chopped (I really like garlic.)
4 C no sodium chicken stock
4 cans of Great Northern beans, size 15 oz, rinsed and drained
1-2 t dried Rosemary
pepper to taste

Directions:
In your soup pot, heat the oil. Add the onions, celery and carrots. Add the garlic and chicken stock and 3 cans of beans. Add the Rosemary and a few dashes of pepper. Bring the soup to a boil and then lower the heat and simmer 20 minutes. Puree half of the soup in a blender, and then add it back to the pot with the last can of beans.

I prefer to leave the soup with some veggies and beans intact, for added color and texture, but you could just decide to puree the whole batch of soup if that's what you'd prefer.

I had to get out....

I was beginning to get cabin fever and feeling stuck in a rut. So after my morning shift, I came home, woke the teenager and announced we were all going sledding. It was awesome outside, 34 degrees and romantically foggy.

To my delight, DH joined us and to my amazement, no one got hurt! We had the hill to ourselves, and we all raced down several times.

I discovered a great way to avoid a back injury is to ride down feet first, on your belly. This worked great for me until the sled turned 180 degrees, and I ended up going down the hill face first! How I avoided a white wash, I don't know.

The sledding turned a bit commando when we discovered it was great fun to throw snowballs at who ever was riding down the hill at the moment. You think it would be easy, but you have to account for speed and distance when you pitch.

After sledding we came home and made snow creatures, using natural materials we could find in the yard. The snow was perfectly packy, yet heavy.

All the fresh air and exercise felt great. Now I think I'll throw some chicken in the crock pot for supper and try and have a relaxing afternoon.

"A child whose life is full of the threat and fear of punishment is locked into babyhood. There is no way for him to grow up, to learn to take responsibility for his life and acts. Most important of all, we should not assume that having to yield to the threat of our superior force is good for the child's character. It ...is never good for anyone's character." - John Holt

Thoughts From My Unschooling Heart....

Fridays are Fresh Days!!!! I can use this weekend to turn things around. I'm hoping it climbs to double digits, and then we can start to enjoy all this snow we have. I would love to take the boys sledding, build snow forts and snow people. It wasn't fair we got 18 inches of snow followed by single digit temperatures.

I have to reconnect with my family.  Working these extra hours, I feel like I'm missing out. I know they've been supervised by DH, but I have no idea what the boys have been learning. This has been an adjustment for me.  When I was home with them more, I was privileged to share in their daily questioning more. Now Dad is facilitating their way to answers.

As Unschoolers, we don't use lessons plans and assignments. At any given moment inspiration could strike and take them in any direction. If I'm not around, I won't be able to see where they are going. I know DH has been here for them, but now I feel the need to play catch up this weekend.

I think when you decide to unschool, you have to make a commitment to take a huge interest in what interests your children. You have to share the experiences with them, otherwise you won't know what they have learned.

If we did "school" at home, I suppose it would be easy for me, being absent, to use the little time I am around to peek at workbook pages and completed assignments to see progress, but that reality depresses me. I'd rather go directly to my children than rely on any paperwork's interpretation. Notebook paper has no soul.

For now, I should take comfort in the fact DH is home, and this is a blessing. As the boys transition into young men having more access to their father is perfect timing. I need to relinquish my role because they don't need to be "mothered" so much anymore.

I just can't help but feel this last minute panic, "Wait! Don't grow up so fast!! I have more to tell you!!!"

I can't believe its Thursday today. The blizzard seems to have taken away two days from me. It will be great to see our friends, and its wonderful knowing I'm two shifts away from the weekend!

Soft Gingerbread Cookies

Description:
I may have written about this recipe when I made them into reindeer using pretzels and M&M candies, but I wanted to have this recipe where I can easily find it, because its a family favorite around Christmas time.

For more fun, you can shape the dough into ovals and use candy and pretzels to make reindeer, but this year DH requested simple icing and DS14 said circles with M&Ms were fine. We were out of pretzels.

Ingredients:
1 C butter
1 C sugar
2/3 C molasses
2 eggs
2 t baking soda
1 t ginger
1 t nutmeg
4 C flour

M&Ms and icing to decorate

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350F

Cream butter and sugar together. Add molasses. Beat in eggs. Stir together baking soda, ginger, nutmeg and flour. Mix the dry with the wet. Form dough balls and flatten with your hand.

If using M&M's, press into the dough before baking.

Bake for 12-14 minutes

Snowed in and loving it!

Doesn't this cat realize, if she insists on sitting on my lap for warm, I'm going to have to pet her?

All I Want For Christmas...

Tonight during supper, DS10 asked me what I wanted for Christmas. My initial response was to tell him nothing. I have everything I need. I know I said this because I didn't want him to worry about why there will be nothing under the tree for me this year. He did get me thinking though. What do I want for Christmas? A few real good things do come to mind.

1. A job for DH- Because I want him to feel valuable again. Its really starting to take a toll on him emotionally, and my husband is such a great man, he doesn't deserve this.

2. A job for DH - Because unemployment is impossible for a family of 4 to live on.

3. A job for DH - Because I'm worried every time I start to feel sick, or its starting to snow like crazy, I could miss out on work. If I don't work, I don't get paid.

4. A job for DH - Because I have two weeks left, and then my hours will be cut. My boss has been great, but the reality is, she has other staff that also need hours, and the winter session is less busy.

5. A job for DH - Because I want to pay bills on time.

6. A job for DH - Because I really understand now more than ever, how important it is NOT to carry debt.

7. A job for DH- Because house repairs are popping up, and we don't have the money to fix them.

8. A job for DH - Because car repairs are popping up, and we don't have the money to fix them.

9. A job for DH - Because even though that snowman shower curtain was so cute, I can't justify giving up $20 for it.

10. A job for DH - Because warmer footwear for winter would be nice.

11. A job for DH - Because I can't remember the last time I had my haircut.

12. A job for DH - Because I can't cut their hair either! (They still allow me to, but my men deserve to look good.)

13. A job for DH - Because Yumi is over due for her vaccines.

14.  A job for DH - Because I don't want to be nervous my debit card will be declined at the grocery store.

15. A job for DH - Because it will break my heart if we can't afford to travel to the family reunion next summer.

16. A job for DH - Because I miss being able to create art.

17. A job for DH - Because I want to buy pomegranates, and they're over $2 a piece.

18. A job for DH - Because DH hasn't enjoyed his popcorn fix in over 8 weeks.

19. A job for DH - Because I don't want to have to move out of our Sleepyhouse.

20. A job for DH - Because seeing the doctor or dentist is so expensive.

21. A job for DH - Because we're missing out on memories we could be making.

22. A job for DH - Because the ongoing uncertainty is stealing bit by bit, what little joy we can muster up.

Happy St. Nick Day!

No Time For Cohesive Thoughts, Just A Relaxing Ramble....

I craved a nectarine the other day, but working my way through a case of Clementines is wonderful as well. I'm sorry oranges, compared to Clemmies, you're only good for juice.

I can feel the autodidact in me returning. After all the stress its good to know she's still in there, waiting patiently. On the list- learning HTML code, landscaping for birds, the art of persuasive speech, mediating, herbal remedies, and figuring out how to use your passions as a means of financial support.

Yesterday was the first day I felt the cold bite me. There's a point where comfortable, refreshing chilly, turns into, "Hey, this hurts!" I need to rediscover the art of layering.

I also need to clean out the closet and find those gloves!

Despite the facts, we still have hope. That is a result of prayer I'm sure.

Also I'm amazed at how prayer and a little holistic effort is keeping my health in check. Felt the verge of a sore throat coming last night, and I thought about smashing up and eating raw garlic. I decided since this was DH's birthday weekend, I'd spare him. I took apple cider vinegar and honey instead. Its a 50/50 blend, and I gargle a spoonful before swallowing it down. I also add a teaspoon to a glass of water and drink it that way. Maybe its the Clementines as well, but this morning, no sore throat! Yeah!

Going to really have to try hard to avoid sugar and this will help as well. Its going to be a challenge this weekend. Kringles are on sale at the Pig!! $3.99!!! I told myself though since I've already baked not only a cake, but also brownies, there's no need for Kringle, no matter what a great price that is.

My plan for enjoying DH's birthday dessert is to allow myself one bite of cake and one brownie. If I'm going to indulge, it might as well be something that I really enjoy. Although the cake is tempting, Fudgy Ghiradelli brownies are where its at!

I love how when I asked DH what I should make for his birthday, he said to let the boys decide. One son said vanilla cake, the other said chocolate brownies, so now we have both!

I think I hear the birthday man waking up. I better go pounce!

My computer time is so limited, but its more important DH can use it for job searching. Miss you all, but hopefully soon, I'll have the chance to catch up! Have a great weekend!

Thursday 13

1. BRRRR!!! Its cold and its trying to snow. Winter has arrived and I can't fly south.

2. My nest is far from clean, but I've invited friends over anyway.

3. Why can't I make oatmeal cookies?

4. Two more shifts and its weekend time!

5. Why is Yumi trying to eat Christmas ornaments?

6. Clementines are here!! Is it possible to eat too many?

7. Doug at Target was very helpful.

8. I don't care how much fiber they add. Froot Loops are mostly sugar and are NOT a health food! Deceiving young children like that, they should be ashamed!

9. I know how to drive Mr."Geepus" crazy, making him recalculate. I'm going to hear his voice in my sleep, "Recalculating....recalculating..."

10. I do find it a bit alarming I trust technology to keep me from getting lost.

11. Our very first ever fruitcake arrived! Thanks Uncle Pete & Auntie Barb!

12. The condensation on our windows is terrible. Does this mean our house is humid or our windows are shot?

13. I better get moving. The wolves are circling the computer.

Hot cocoa time!!

I have to wake up in 6 hours. I don't know how much longer I can flip flop opening and closing. I miss the sleep!

Trees up, lights are strung...now hopefully we'll get the ornaments hung!

Horror movie marathon tonight. So far we've watched Phenomenon with a really young Jennifer Connolly, Killer Klowns From Outer Space and now its Bad Taste.

Made it all day without cutting into that Kringle! I won't tell you though what I ate at our second Thanksgiving feast!

How This Radical Unschooling Parent Disciplines

We had used "Time Out" for our oldest, but when Jared came along, "Time Out" didn't work for him. We knew spanking was abusive, but if Time Out wouldn't work, what were we to do? I prayed about it, and then the answer came to me. Give this child a mission.

Whenever toddler Jared would misbehave, he needed understanding and direction. It wasn't about trying to get him to change, but understanding why he was acting they way he was. How could we show him how to respect others and make better choices with his reactions?

God told me, "Give Jared a job." It wasn't about redirection so much as it was about giving Jared the opportunity to feel important and purposeful.

"Jared, could you please help Mommy with the garbage? Could you help Mommy with..." He took to it instantly. He loved helping out. It gave him a sense of purpose. It gave him the self confidence that comes with responsibility. Jobs were never about punishment, but were opportunities to show how valuable he was.

I realized this little guy just needed to feel respected, and he wanted to feel powerful. He wanted to be able to do what his big brother and his parents could do.

As he grew older, the misbehavior ceased, and we gave him more choices. For example, we had given him ownership of the task of unloading the dishwasher. He knew it had to be done every day, but he could pick when he did it.

If I'm worried he's not going get to it in a timely fashion, I'll ask him, "At what time do you think you'll be able to unload the dishwasher because I'd like to load in the dirty dishes before I leave for work."

He'll choose a time and ask, "Will 10:30 be okay?" If it works for me, great, if not, I'll explain why.

"Well, I have to leave by 10:30 so that won't work for me."

"OK, how about I unload the dishes at 9:30?"  We have a respectable, negotiation. No nagging, no attitudes, just two people working out together a solution, because they love and respect each other.

We've relied on respect, love and understanding rather than yelling or hitting to teach our children expectations of proper behavior. When we were first time parents, we used "Time Outs" for toddler Jake because that was the advice of our physician, but Jared really taught us the best way to discipline.

I know I've offended friends when I tell them spanking is abusive. I personally believe it should be against the law.  I guarantee you if I slapped a kid's butt and that kid was not mine, I would be arrested and forced to register as a sex offender, but why if I'm the parent of the child is this acceptable? If someone touches, let alone slaps, my backside without my permission, I will feel molested and sexually harassed. It will not motivate me to correct my behavior, but rather I will feel scared or pissed off.

I have some friends who try to use scripture to justify their abusive discipline, but if they would read the original text, they would see the "rod" translates to "leading the direction of", not hitting. Smart shepherds don't beat their sheep because it would hurt and damage them.

What I don't understand is why some parents believe fear works. If you try to control your children using fear and intimidation, I can promise you those same kids, when they do have a problem are not going to come to you for help. They are going to seek out support from those who don't pose any threat.

I feel so blessed knowing my boys know there is nothing they can't come to us with. There is no question they can't ask, no problem they can't share. They feel completely safe with us and know we are going to support them. They aren't going to get "in trouble" but rather they will find a listening, sympathetic ear.  They don't have to lie to avoid punishment, but rather they know they can be completely honest with us.

DS10.10

I wanted to add this photo to DS10's Multiply album, but it didn't work. Now I can't see any of his photos in that album. I'll deal with that problem later. Multiply seems to be not working well for me the past few days.

I took this photo yesterday at G-Mas. I thought it was the perfect example of how different DS10 is from anyone else. Nothing about this child has been conventional. He is truly a unique, wonderful, human being.

A typical kid would use the pillow for their head. Not my son. His head is on the floor and the pillow is for his feet! Also, the typical kid would probably play DS sitting upright.

Jared has always kept me guessing. From the moment I learned he was going to be a boy, I had assumed incorrectly, that he would be exactly like his big brother. He came out looking completely different, yet still resembling DH & I. DNA is fascinating.

Where as Jakob was an easy going, kicking back and taking it all in kind of baby, Jared was the polar opposite. I'll never forget the first time he looked at me. I knew he was a thinker. I just didn't know how different his thinking would be!

Jared can come up with the correct answer, but when he tries to explain to me how he figured it out, he loses me. His thought pattern process is abstract to me.

I thank God we've been able to allow him to learn from life, at home and in the world around us. Jared doesn't fit into a mold. When something interests him, it becomes an obsession and he needs to be given the freedom to truly explore something to his heart's content. 

I'm trying really hard not to cut into the Kringle. Its pecan. Our favorite. My MIL sent it home with us and its still a perfect oval. If I cut into it, I won't be able to stop. Every time I pass it, I will cut off another inch! I must refrain. We have another Thanksgiving feast to chow tonight. For those who don't know, a Kringle is a special Danish pastry and near where we live, in Racine,Wisconsin they make the best ones! www.kringle.com

Thankful Thursday 13

I'm thankful for....

1. Valerian root - after several restless nights, finally got in a good 8 last night.

2. Out of 6 pairs of warm socks, I could at least find one pair this morning.

3. A husband who does laundry

4. My immune system

5. My flexible job and a boss who would do anything she could for me!

6. The mortgage will be paid for December!

7. Rhodes Texas rolls - easy and tasty when I have no time to bake from scratch

8. I didn't have to cook and clean for this holiday weekend.

9. My Mom In Law who is treating us to a Thanksgiving feast today!

10. Chocolate chip pie!

11. A husband who completely takes care of me when I shut down due to stress!

12. My family!

13. A Heavenly Father who never fails me! (I saved the best for last.)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Ringing bells today for the Salvation Army. This year I promised the boys an indoor spot so we're inside a JCPenney's at a large mall. We'll treat ourselves to a late lunch and then it will be off to work for me.

"Curiosity is a survival skill for creatures like us who live by our wits, because we can't predict , in an open and complex world, everything we will need to know later on." - James Marcus Bach

Woke up slow and still moving at a snail's pace. Its a good thing. I'm enjoying several mugs of tea and really great books. Although a hike in the woods would have been nice, I don't want to be shot.

Edible Therapy

Today was a better day. DH is still missing his sense of humor, but when all else fails, make comfort food.

Our uncle gave us a link to the .99 Cent Chef. On his blog, he had directions on how to make Krispie Kreme doughnuts at home.

It was my first time ever making home made doughnuts, but not DH's. He made them once, when he was in middle school, when he was home alone. It did not end well.

I know he was nervous, but we took every precaution. I had a large lid ready as well as the fire extinguisher. I wore long oven mitts and used long handled sticks to turn the doughnuts. DH was on the glaze station.

They came out really good, but then again, when is a fresh, hot doughnut not delicious? We may make them again on Christmas or New Years.

Maybe it was the smell of the oil, but after I had finished frying the doughnuts, DH started slicing up potatoes. He slices them very thin and long, and fries them to a crispy, yet still meaty finish. They are awesome.

French fries happen to be DS10's favorite food, and he was over the moon eating dad's fries. DH told us when Grandpa used to make them, they were always eaten before they made it to anyone's plate.

Earlier, I made DH take me to the library where we loaded up on free books, movies and CD's. To my delight, I scored James Marcus Bach's new book, Secrets Of A Buccaneer Scholar. I had just read his interview in Home Education Magazine and last week I heard him on NPR radio. Now if only I can find the time to read it.

Actually, I know this week will be a short one work wise, and that's a mixed blessing. I'll enjoy the extra time with my family, but it also means I'll miss out on 2 days worth of work. When you work part-time, there is no holiday pay or sick leave.

Tomorrow I'm excited we may hit temperatures in the 60's! For Wisconsin in November this is outstanding! I'm hopeful we can find some place to hike.  We'll need to after what we've enjoyed eating tonight! We should probably open the windows too and let the nest air out one last time before the deep freeze comes.

I'm off to get into pajamas and finish watching the Japanese movie, Pulse. Its one of my favorite scary movies.  Catch you later!  

I'm up early. Its so beautiful outside. Everything is frosty and the sun is beginning to burn through the fog. Its looks so magical. I'm really going to try and make this a good day!

I can't find answers...

Yesterday, after we left our home school posse, I made the comment out loud, "I wish I didn't have to go to work."

DS14 responded, "Mom, of course you don't. Who does?!"

I felt awful. What a terrible example I've been. Its not that my job sucks. It's actually great. Its just the fact, it pulls me away from family more often than I'd like, especially these past several weeks as we try to survive the layoff.

I don't want my children to believe work is something you can't enjoy doing. I need to watch my tongue and instead say things like, "I wish I didn't have to leave and end the fun we're having."

DS10 said, "Mom, why don't you find a job where we can all be together?"

I really wish I could figure that one out. I would love to have a family business with my DH. I just have no idea what we could do.

Its been a challenge trying to keep my chin up. I ask DH what can I do to help him with his depression, but he says there's nothing I can do. He's going to feel this way until he can find a job.

So as the autumn to winter darkness begins to consume more of the daylight, it feels like the same thing is happening in our Sleepyhouse. I can't seem to do anything to make things better, no matter how hard I try.

I want the light to return. I need the light to return. I can't understand why I can't have control of this. I can't understand the timing. I need to see those I love find joy. It is impossible for me to do so, unless they are there with me.

I need a pair of ruby slippers. "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home....."

After a long day of work, I'm enjoying a relaxing evening at home with my family.

I should be sleeping in but since I can't.....

I'll babble.

Multiply has just stepped over the line. I can ignore most advertisements but they have found my weakness. The Hershey Kiss logo staring at me from the corner is pushing me over the edge! Wish I could afford a premium membership.

Last night we watched a few episodes of World War II in HD. It was pretty good. The boys were really into it, and I know this is because of their gaming. I found it odd to be seeing so much color footage of the early 40's. The soldiers all looked so youthful. Its easy to forget that when you see older World War II veterens. They were fighting all over the world at such a young age.

I'm trying to feel more organized. I know a great deal of the stress I've been feeling since working more hours is because I don't feel balanced. I also worry I'm not getting stuff accomplished because I'm pulled in different directions. So this week I'm writing down each day, stuff I need to tend to. I prioritize the list and if something isn't completed, it gets moved to the next day.

Remarkably, its helped already. Even if I don't feel like I'm accomplishing much, I can review the list and see that indeed I am reaching goals. Plus, my family has stepped up and completed stuff on my list too. I suppose it was a good decision to leave this list out in the open where they could see it. :) Coming home yesterday to the smell of a clean bathroom was a gift!

I've placed "Exercise" on the list for everyday and given it a priority of 1. Its easy for me to place my family's needs and work's needs in front of my own, but I also know that exercise isn't really just for me. By exercising I can stay healthy, which in turn means I'm available for my family and work. I know I've been exposed countless times to illness, and I also know each time I've been able to fight it off. I'm worried this won't continue to be the case though, since my daily walks had disappeared once I began working double the number of hours I had worked before. So now as soon as my work shift is over on Mon-Wed-Fri, I'm exercising, and on Tues & Thurs, I'm exercising after breakfast.

And with that final sentence of the last paragraph, my oatmeal is consumed. So I'm off to change from pajamas to work out clothes.

Darn body clock! Up too early on my day to sleep in.

The Weekend So Far Has Been Great!

Last night was Diva Sista night. The females in our family try to get together at least once a month for a girls' night out. I told myself this weekend I was going to put aside the stress and enjoy my free time to the fullest extent.

It was my cousin's 39th birthday and we went out to her favorite restaurant. It was sort of a Chinese fusion place. I enjoyed a strawberry chicken dish, battered chicken with pineapples and rice in a strawberry sauce. It was very yummy, almost more like a dessert really.

Speaking of dessert, my cousin had not one but two cakes, a traditional birthday cake and a pumpkin cake that was so good! We enjoyed it with cinnamon ice cream! I was so bad!! I will have to try hard to be good today.

We watched a video back at her house, the Proposal. I was probably the only female on the planet who hadn't seen this movie, but living with all men, I don't have many chances to watch chick flicks.

Today I'm hoping we can go used book shopping. We had a coupon for 50% off and I'm thinking we should use this opportunity to pick up a Christmas gift or two. Half off at Half Price Books could mean a great deal. I'm trying to find more opportunities likes this and be more resourceful.

With the unemployment stress, I've found we are only buying what we absolutely need, so in most instances, this means all of our consumer purchases have been at the grocery store. I haven't set foot in Target in over a month. Surprisingly, I really don't miss it, but then I was never a shopper.

Today I'm also going to take some time and try to plan a schedule for myself. I'm not a schedule type person, but with working more hours I've lost my exercise routine, and that is not good. I'm so grateful I've been able to stay relatively healthy, but I know if I don't get back to exercising, this will change.

I better get going. The rest of my nest is starting to wake up. I'll have to ask if they want Mancakes for breakfast.

I'm enjoying a beautiful, quiet morning, and I can feel the day is full of wonderful potential!

I am a lightweight. Family Fun Night wasn't much fun because I was ready for bed at 8:30pm. I was exhausted & it felt really dark out, so I asked the boys if we should lay down and watch a movie. They looked at me strangely and then pointed out it was only 8:30pm. Why did it feel like 11:30pm to me? Oh.... I also broke down and ate raw garlic again. My sore throat started to come back. This morning it feels much better. I don't care how I smell!

I am sleep deprived and ready to curl up under a blankie and watch mindless TV, but first a warm, relaxing shower. But wait! DS10 just told me, "Mom, do you know what we need? Chocolate Crunch bars!" Where's the Halloween stash?

Lunch is tasting pretty blah without the garlic.

Thoughts....

Yumi is driving me crazy, meowing, pawing at the door. I don't understand why she thinks she's an outdoor kitty when we've always tried to keep her indoors. Plus its freezing out! I know she is bored I haven't been able to pester her.

Animal crackers and hot chocolate feed the soul.

My nest is not complete. DH has left to spend a few days with his mom, helping her fix her basement. I won't see him again until late on Saturday. :( I know he'll be in good hands though.

Wishing my mind would focus on things other than work and financial stress. I just want to take control of it all and know its all going to work out.

Yesterday, my boss was standing over my shoulder and she said she smelled garlic. When I went to kiss DS10 goodnight, he said I smelled like salami. DH confirmed it, I need to cut back on the raw garlic. I swear its been keeping me from getting sick though!

Wish I had the time to really focus on cleaning my house. Now that its getting colder and we have to close things up, I'd feel better knowing things were really clean.

Last night a little boy tinkled on my desk at work. I'm sure his parents were mortified, but in hind sight, maybe its not a good idea to stand your child up on the desk instead of the floor? Thankfully the puddle didn't hit me or my notebooks and we had disinfectant on hand. Another parent watching me clean it up said, "At least it wasn't puke." True. There are much worse things to have to clean up.

In about 24 hours I can relax a bit. During the next 24, there's a span of about 9 hours when I'm going to feel guilty and worried. Its unavoidable.

Looking forward to the comfort of friends this afternoon. It will make those 9 hours easier.

Better get a move on. Daylight's a wasting.

I'm working crazy hours again. If I don't stop by your page the next few days, I'm sorry.

Dealing With My Faults

I know I'm suppose to be taking this moment by moment, day by day. I'm just not feeling it. Its easier to worry than hope, and I know this is one of my faults.

This unemployment experience is really bringing my faults to the surface and forcing me to deal with them. Yesterday for example, I was feeling stable until my son pointed out on Facebook a co-worker of mine was wondering where I was. I had driven the pool car home, like I've done the past week or so, after delivering marketing. Apparently my boss was wondering when I was returning because she needed the car. Last week she told me it was ok for me to drive the car home on the days I run marketing out.

My reaction was one of tremendous stress. The last thing I want to do is upset my boss! I freaked out. I immediately tried to call my boss but got her voice mail. Panic began to set in until DH pointed out, no one had attempted to call my cell phone or home phone. Why rely on a Facebook update if she really needed the car? They could have called me if they really needed to get a hold of me.

What I'm struggling with is my reaction. I should not have stressed out. I think it ties in with the fact I feel lately I have no control over my circumstances. I hate this! We're 4 weeks in and bills are coming due. Its becoming more real now.

I so want my old life back, and I'm sure that's another fault of mine. Refusal to mourn, let go and move on. Maybe I'm suppose to work this thing in stages, riding up and down.

I feel like I can't take control and steer this ship where I want it to go. Its it the lack of choice, timing or my failure to get creative?

I'm grateful the boys are doing very well. They really haven't been effected at all. I can see how they support each other when DH & I can't be there, and that is a wonderful thing.

I try to take full advantage of the time I can share with them. It is apparent to me they need me less, but on the other hand, I don't want to be pulled too far away from them.

I better stop the soul searching and get moving. Action will make me feel better. It may be important to sit and think at times, but I shouldn't over think this.

Its happening. They are surpassing me, as they should. I'm proud they are figuring more things out on their own. I know I'll be needed in other ways, and it will be a plus I can start to ask them for technical help instead.

Sorry the weekend is over, but anxious to move on...

Aren't these beautiful? My DMIL has quite the green thumb. The bees were very happy to have one last delicious drink before winter comes. It was unseasonably warm today, almost reaching 70. We took full advantage of it, and enjoyed a stroll along the lake front.

I love Lake Michigan's lake front. We don't live near an ocean, so for me, this is as close as I can get. When I look out at the big spans of water, I can't help but feel my nautical ancestors calling to me. I've always pictured myself living near water and trees. Maybe someday.

I'm sorry to see the weekend come to an end, but anxious for the week to get moving. I'm praying DH gets a call this week for an interview. We're heading into our 4th week of unemployment. We have an appointment this week for food and health care assistance. If we do qualify, I understand it may still be several months before the benefits kick in. Our appointment for energy assistance isn't until the end of January. At that rate, winter will be over by the time that kicks in. The wait list is very long, and I'm sure its because the unemployment rate is very high in our area.

We tried to unload a car load of stuff at Goodwill, and I was surprised they refused to take any toys. The only toys they will take are brand new, in the box, never opened. I'm going to try another charity like St. Vincent's or Salvation Army.

I found out my sister had full blown H1N1. She lives 3 blocks away and she never called me. I'm sure it was a rough week for her, but I was hurt she never called. I would have liked to have had the chance to help her out, making meals or something. She actually never calls me. Its always me calling her. Of course she's very quick to call my other sister and gossip about me. I'm seriously taking a good look at my side of the family and realizing our relationships are not what family should be.

Maybe its because of the closeness I have with my husband, children and mother in law, but I can't help but compare what they offer me compared to what my birth family offers.

When I was younger, I thought it was me. I was the "EMO" child and the rest of my family just made fun of me or rolled their eyes. I only remember my father's mother being like me, and I watched as they made fun and rolled their eyes at her too.

"Will you stop your crying and carrying on!"

I can remember my Grandmother talking to me alone in her kitchen. She'd tell me I was special. She'd say things like, "Don't let them ever get you down. You are special!" We had that bond of both being emotional creatures. I lost my Grandmother while I was in high school. Thankfully, I met my husband shortly there after.

I'm so grateful for my husband, my children and my mother in law. They always lift me up. I cherish the time I have to spend with them. I know this week that time will again be limited as I try to put in extra hours to help. I so desire to go back to my old schedule, working 3 nights instead of 5 days. I miss being able to unschool myself on things that interest me.

I know I'm being selfish and most people don't have the luxury of working part-time, but you have to understand I didn't find true peace and happiness until I began unschooling with my children almost 11 years ago now. I was a nervous, anxious mess when I worked full time and tried to balance being a wife and mother.

I have a gift for being very patient. I was born to be a parent, and I'm frustrated my role in this capacity is being deminished. 

If you've made it to the end of this babble, thank you for listening. I've decided to live honestly and make my life an open book, because one day, all truth is revealed.

Buttermilk biscuits (not cookies)

Description:
I made these to go with our stew. You'll get your hands dirty but they are easy to make and bake up pretty tasty.

Ingredients:
2 C flour, plus a little more for pressing out the dough
4 t baking powder
1/4 t baking soda
3/4 t salt
2 T unsalted, chilled butter
1/4 C vegetable shortening
1 C low fat buttermilk, chilled

Directions:
Heat the oven to 400F

Whisk the dry ingredients in a large bowl- flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt

Using your hands, mix in the butter and vegetable shortening into the dry ingredients until everything is crumbly.

Add in the butter milk and stir until the flour mixture is absorbed and dough forms.

On a floured surface, knead the dough until it is soft and smooth.

Press the dough flat to a thickness of about 3/4 inch.

Cut apart into biscuits or use a biscuit cutter. I like to just cut them apart and not deal with the scraps. It doesn't bother me that every biscuit is a different shape. In fact, its more fun that way if you ask me.

Place them on a baking sheet, sides almost touching but not quite.

Bake for 15-20 minutes

Simple Slow Cooked Beef Stew

Description:
My husband was craving Dinty Moore Beef Stew. EWW! My mother gave me a recipe for beef stew but it involves using an old fashion pressure cooker- too much trouble for me. I found this recipe and it was so easy and simple, I knew it had to work.

The stew came out perfect. I threw in a few extra potatoes and half a large onion I had left, to make it go a little farther. Next time I make it, I'm adding mushrooms!

DH said he could eat this beef stew everyday, so it looks like I won't have to buy that Dinty Moore crap! :)

Ingredients:
1 pound beef stew meat - 1" chunks
2 Cups of potatoes- cut into chunks - I leave the skin on because I like it.
4 medium carrots- cut into 1/2 " chunks (about 2 Cups)
1 Can of condensed cream of potato soup- 10 ounce size
1/2 C water
1 envelope (or half of a 2 ounce package) onion soup mix

Directions:
Place the beef stew meat chunks into your slow cooker. Add the potatoes, carrots and any other veggies you like. In a bowl, mix together the condensed potato soup, the water and the onion soup mix. Pour the mixture over the beef and veggies and stir.

Cook on high for 4 hours or on low for 8 hours.

Don't expect me to organize my thougths...

Life for me lately has been unpredictable and with that comes an unpredictable mind.

I'm finding myself dreaming lately of what life will be like once DH's unemployment is over. I'm making all these plans. I keep dreaming him in a better job where he's happy and the money is comfy, and by comfy I'm talking he'll make as much as he made before or more so. :)

I felt we were living frugal before, but now I can see we could have done much better. The more you have, the more you have to lose. My goal isn't to have more, but to DO MORE, once we're through this lay off. I'm sure this is the lesson I was suppose to learn from this.

I'm going to put away the Halloween decorations today and start to bring out Christmas. Yes, I know its still weeks away from Thanksgiving, but there is a special set of Santas I want out.

Today is the anniversary of my cousin's death. In the years before she lost her battle with cancer, she hand painted a Santa figure for everyone every year for Christmas. I cherish the collection I have, and it reminds me to be more like her in spirit. Donna loved family and loved Christmas. The Santas are coming out today.

I'm also looking forward to making home made, southern style biscuits. Wish me luck because I've never attempted them before. I think I'll also try a beef stew slow cooker recipe.

I don't miss eating out at all, but the challenge has been time. Working more hours, my domestic Goddess role has been diminished. :)  I miss my primary role in household management. There are some things that just need a woman's touch, no offense to my awesome husband.

I'm hoping to stretch my legs this weekend as well. I miss my walks. We're suppose to have warmer weather, in the 60's, so it will feel good.

I'm going to enjoy my nest today! I miss being a Domestic Goddess.

I can feel it. The weekend is getting close!

Khan Academy

http://www.khanacademy.org/
The Khan Academy is a not-for-profit organization with the mission of providing a high quality education to anyone, anywhere.

We have 1000+ videos on YouTube covering everything from basic arithmetic and algebra to differential equations, physics, chemistry, biology and finance which have been recorded by Salman Khan.

The Khan Academy and Salman Khan have received a 2009 Tech Award in Education. The Tech Awards is an international awards program that honors innovators from around the world who are applying technology to benefit humanity.

I have to open and close the pool today. Crazy schedule, but I'm grateful for the added hours on my paycheck.

Made it out for a long walk. Felt so good! It had been too long.

Trying to Look On The Bright Side, Not The Dark...

On my way to work, I passed a car engulfed in flames. I noticed a moron trying to photograph it with her phone while driving 65 mph. On the bright side, I wasn't late for work and she didn't crash into me while taking the photo.

Spent most of my day on my feet, over a huge vat of steamy hot dogs in a humid 90 degree room. On the bright side, it was actually easy money.

I came home and made two versions of mac and cheese, one healthy and one gross blue box. Finally got off my feet. Two bites into cheesy bliss, the projectile vomiting began. On the bright side, he saved me from over eating while tired.

Who knew Flavor Blasted Cheddar Gold fish could really stain carpet. On the bright side, DH was there to help me clean up.

Once DS10 made it the 15 feet to the bathroom, his aim didn't improve. On the bright side, the bathroom is VERY clean now.

Nothing really went according to my plan today, but on the bright side, it is now over with!
 

I'm so grateful for Lysol.

Heading to work dressed as Mother Nature. Do you think the sun will listen to me if I ask her to shine strong and warm things up? Maybe I need to speak to my Heat Miser Son?

Wow. 30 minutes into trick or treating and we've only had 3 visits. We usually have over 100+ kids during the two hours our town designates. Is it H1N1 scare?

Feeling Optimistic

Today was better. My work went smoothly, with more businesses agreeing to display our pool brochures. Wednesday I had about a 50% rejection rate, but for some reason, it went much better today. Maybe it was a better part of town? (Less snooty.) DS14 is still embarrassed I've got the pool car parked in the driveway. I'll have to take a photo to show you tomorrow morning. Its a Volkswagen bug that has been wrapped with photos from our pool. My boss' adorable son in on the back window. Its an attention grabber, but that's the whole idea.

I came home tired, but it was good to be with family again. We had Mancakes for lunch and played games and watched scary movies all afternoon.

DH has more job leads, so I'm praying soon something works out. He went to a networking cocktail party, even though he doesn't drink. He made a few connections but an awkward moment happened as he was trying to leave the party. His inebriated ex-boss asked him, "So, is Dawn pissed at me." He thought for a moment about just lying, but for some reason out of his mouth came the truth.

I felt badly. DH said his ex-boss looked like he was going to break down. Maybe it was the alcohol, but I still felt bad that I had that effect on someone. I'm really hoping Sean can find work and we can put this all behind us. I'll even invite the ex-boss over for supper, once we can afford it!

Tonight we made home made pizza. We're getting more used to cooking and eating all of our meals at home, but I think the boys are starting to miss dining out. We used to get take out twice a week and go out for one sit down restaurant meal a week. Funny thing is, I'm not missing it. The only thing I'm looking forward to again is being able to buy what we want at the grocery store without worrying about it.

I don't mind cooking. In fact I'm excited that next Sunday, DH and I have a "date" to try and make real biscuits together. I'm talking the flaky, shortening kind! Sure they won't be healthy, but we need a treat every now and then, and they'll go great with a Sunday chicken supper. I'd bake them up this Sunday, but I'll be working. I have to put in the time if they have it for me.

Sunday at work we're having a Halloween pool party. I'm thinking of dressing up as Mother Nature. I can't be anything scary because we have little guys that come to the pool. I'm thinking the first half of the party will be crowded. We have over 110 kids signed up for swimming events. Come 3:00pm though, it could clear out. Sunday is the big game in Wisconsin. Packers versus the Farve Vikings. As for me, I'm a Bear's fan. :)

Tomorrow I'm going to sleep in. Although I enjoy working the opening shift because I get so much done, its so dark in the mornings. I don't want to think about what it will be like to get up when its COLD and dark.

I'm looking forward to the boys enjoying dressing up and trick or treating. We have a great neighborhood for it. Afterward, we'll watch scary movies including, Attack Of The Mushroom People! I love cheesy horror!

We're blessed because DMIL will join us. I'm also excited because she is bringing a new to us vacuum cleaner! Ours has been broken for two weeks now. Who would have thought I'd be looking forward to being able to vacuum the floor!

Its life's little blessings that are sustaining me these days. I still have moments, but overall, things feel more positive.  I just hope we can keep this going and bring prosperity rather than worry.

The pumpkins have only hours left. I don't think the governor will call. Mwahaha!!

Still On The Roller Coaster

I'm still trying to adjust to the changes in our lives since Oct 15th. The world hasn't ended, there's plenty to be thankful for, but I can't feel settled. Its the certain uncertainty.

I'm struggling to find balance again. Working more hours, not being around my kids, I feel like I'm losing a connection. I know they are benefiting from having dad around more and for the most part, their lives have not changed, but I miss not being able to share so much with them.

My calorie counting and exercising have been nonexistent this past week, something I KNOW I need to work on. I need to find a new routine, a new groove, instead of waiting to see where things will lead.

I used to enjoy planning for future fun, but now I don't feel confident making those plans. I don't know if the resources will be there, plus I can't guarantee if we'll be in the mood to enjoy it. Take Halloween for example. I can't believe its only days away. There's no excitement. Maybe its because we can't buy pile loads of candy, and we've canceled the post trick or treating party, but I think its more so because I haven't had time to get into it. I haven't had the time to decorate, do crafts and bake ghoulish treats. I'm worried Christmas will be like this.

I'm grateful the tree is already paid for and a few gifts did get purchased before the lay off, but I'm worried I won't have the time or spirit to give my family a warm, wonderful Christmas.

I'm hoping that in a few weeks, this new routine will feel better. Of course reality will hit after that first huge mortgage chunk comes out without the usual paycheck muscle we were blessed with before. That could make me stop mourning the loss of my free time because I'll have another loss to mourn- financial security.

I'm still on the roller coaster, only now it seems a little less up and down. I'm still unsure what lies ahead, another drop? But at least in a strange way the emotional game of job loss is getting predictable.

Why is my cat constantly hacking but nothing is coming up? She is refusing to eat the hair ball goo. Maybe I'll just smear it on her fur. She's mad at me already.

A quick post on what's up...

So much going on, so little time to blog.

I'm working more to help bring in more cash flow. I'm now driving to the pool 5 days a week. 3 mornings I leave the house at 5:00am to open and 2 days a week I'll still close. I don't want to think about how this is going to mess up my body clock. I should throw a sleeping bag and change of clothes in the car this winter just in case.

DH is meeting with an old client in the hopes he can freelance, but its not a permanent solution. It could pay better than unemployment though. I'm praying something comes along.

The boys lives haven't had to change and for that I'm grateful. I was worried having DH home more would change our unschooling, but its only enhanced it. Lately our favorite game has been Repeat Or You're Obsolete. We received it as a thank you gift for bird sitting. Its a memorization game everyone in the family can play. DH is really good at it, of course he's always had an amazing memory.

In some ways, I think because we are homeschooling, it's helping him get through this difficult time. I know it helps him when he can help us, even with small things. Everyone wants to have a purpose in life.

Yesterday we visited the zoo, and I took the photo of the Timber Rattler you see above. I think they are so beautiful. Its one of only 2 poisonous snake species in Wisconsin. The zoo was having a Halloween event so a little extra fun was to be had that day. The zoo keepers carved a pumpkin with several holes, they loaded the pumpkin with snakes, and then the snakes came slithering out of the holes in the pumpkin. It was very cool and creepy!

We we hoping to carve our pumpkins, but we ran out of time yesterday. Maybe tonight we'll get to it.

I have to get on the ball and finish the doughnut costume! My sewing machine is completely locked up so I hand stitched what I absolutely had to and now I'm painting the rest. DS14 still hasn't decided if he'll dress up. I know he wants the candy though!

I better get a move on. I just wanted to check in, jot a few notes and say a quick thank you to everyone praying and thinking positive thoughts for us. Take care of yourselves!

I'm in the twilight zone and I'm not referring to vampires.

Whole Wheat Banana Oatmeal Breakfast muffins

Description:
3 Days a week, I have to get up way too early. On those mornings, I'm planning on enjoying these muffins for breakfast. I tweaked the recipe to make it more healthy.

Ingredients:
Dry ingredients:

1 C whole wheat flour
1 C Oats
1/4 C sugar
3 t baking powder
1/4 t salt
1/2 C dried cranberries
1/2 C chopped dates

Wet ingredients:

2 mashed ripe bananas
3 T applesauce
1 egg
1 C skim milk

Topping - cinnamon & brown sugar - spoonful of each mixed together


Directions:
Preheat the Oven to 350. Spray a muffin tin with non-stick spray. Mix the dry ingredients in on bowl, and the wet ingredients in another. Add the two mixtures together and don't over blend. Fill muffin cups 3/4 way full and top with cinnamon brown sugar topping.

Bake for 15-20 minutes

Hoping to get out and enjoy the sun today, I'm thinking maybe the zoo.

Counting My Blessings....

1. We have a modest house, with a modest mortgage payment that thankfully the unemployment checks will cover. God put us here for a reason.  Even if we can't pay all the bills, we won't lose the house.

2. I'm not getting full blown sick, but keeping this at a very manageable, tiny annoyance of a cold. Veggies, honey, apple cider vinegar, raw garlic and Emergen-C are my immune system's best friends.

3. My friends! Prayer warriors, positive thinkers- I love you all!! I truly can feel how your prayers and positive vibes are lifting me up.

4. My job! I am so blessed to be working for great people!

5. The changing colors. The leaves, still on the trees and on the ground are both so beautiful. I really noticed the huge variety of colors today and it inspired me.

6. The gas station had sugar free french vanilla cap, any cup size I wanted for .99 cents!

7. Its not snowing, just raining.

8. Take and bake Infusinos cheese pizza

9. Tea lights, candles and lanterns in my living room making my nest cozy

10. A weekend full of possibilities!

Feeling better- looking forward to spending time with my family, sewing a giant doughnut and working from home a bit. After you hit bottom, everything is up from there.

Was actually feeling like I was recovering very nicely until that panic attack truck hit me last night. Now my emotional break down has given the virus the upper edge. Wish I could just curl up in a ball for a few days, but that's a no go.

By the time my day ended yesterday, I knew I was getting sick, no denying it; chest cough and congestion, headache, achy "Don't touch me" skin. I ate a huge bowl of steamed veg and threw in a raw, smashed, minced glove of garlic. Went to bed and its amazing how much better I feel this morning! Don't get too close. I don't care if my breath stinks! I'm going to nibble on raw garlic all day!

We're trying to mull through it all...

Today's the first day DH didn't go to the office. He's not home though. He's helping his friend and ex-coworker install software on his home PC. They are hopeful they can perhaps do a bit of contract work from home to help make ends meet. His friend is in the same boat, a family man living paycheck to paycheck.

I got pissed off yesterday when I learned DH's EX-boss expected him to file for unemployment, but if work did come in, he would call him back and pay him hourly. I think he believes it could work like it does for seasonal construction workers. Well, apparently, a client contacted DH directly and asked if he'd work on his project at home. DH's EX-boss didn't like that idea because of course, he wouldn't get a cut. You see the EX-boss still has loans to pay and if DH works as an independent contractor, it makes DH the competition. The EX-boss would rather pimp out my husband.

I'm so digusted, I wish DH would just sever all ties, however he still is having trouble saying goodbye to his other team members, who also are getting screwed by the EX-boss. They may try to work on one last project together for a little extra cash, but the reality is, none of us have the resources to set up our own design firm.

Its been scary as I write out bills that I know we will have trouble paying next month. I think after the next two weeks, we'll have to start dipping into savings. DH has filed for unemployment, but we're thinking this is not going to be enough to cover everything. What scares me is hearing stories of how it could take months if not years, to find work. I can't fathom how we'd be able to survive past 3 months. We could end up destroying our credit rating, which ironically, potential employers now look at when they are determining whether to hire you! Talk about a catch 22!

I think all of this is beginning to effect our oldest son. He seems down, but in typical teenage fashion, when I try to ask him what's wrong, he says nothing. I know DH and I must model a good attitude and stay positive. This could be a huge learning opportunity for all of us.

Woke up with a cough. My mantra today is- I cannot get sick. I cannot get sick. I cannot get sick. I'm mixing up honey and apple cider vinegar and hoping for the best!

In honor and remembrance of my friends and family who have fought the fight, I'm off to squish the girls today!

Heading out to meet high school friends for lunch. I haven't seen them in over 10 years. It feels a little strange, given my current stressful situation, but I suppose it will be good to get out and enjoy a distraction.

I think its safe to blog now....

The news is out where it needs to go, so close loved ones won't have to read it here and be shocked. Funny how DH asked me ,"Did you Facebook the news yet?" No! I can show restraint!

On Thursday, DH was given his paycheck with the words, "Here's your paycheck. Its probably the last one I can give you for awhile."

Its very strange. His boss has run out of money for the company. This would mean a lay off right? Well, the boss also said there is a slim chance the client they are working for right now, may be able to "pick up your salaries." So is he laid off or isn't he? The reality is, they have all this work completed, and more they could do, but the clients are not paying their bills.

I'm very frightened. DH is the main bread winner. I only work part time. I know this is happening all over the country, and we're not the only family going through this, but I can't shake the depression I'm feeling.

Added to this stress, I've been betrayed by a close family member. When you say to someone, "Out of all our family, you're the only one I can tell this to because I know you understand and won't criticize me like the rest of our family would,"  you would think this means, its a secret, don't tell anyone! Well, she blabbed and what I feared would happen, did indeed happen. So now I'm struggling with having to find forgiveness.

Its not like I was going to keep this secret from the rest of my family forever. I just needed the chance to choose the best timing.

I come from this anti-emotional family, that believes picking on you is a sign of affection. I'm wired completely the opposite. I will say out loud, "I love you," several times a day. The family I grew up with, never uses these words with each other. Out of all my siblings, there was one who could understand me, and now I'm pissed off and feeling betrayed by her.

I thank God I have my husband, my children and my mother in law.

Of course the Christian Universalist in me knows, we are all bound together. Friends or enemies, we have no choice but to spend all eternity together. This is why God tells us to forgive all, and the greatest commandment is to love all.

I know no one is perfect and all of humankind has the potential to fail you. People are broken. They can try their best, but its never going to be good enough. So I need to forgive everyone, love everyone and realize there really is only one I can turn to who won't fail me, God. And because he loves everyone, he isn't going to choose sides. I have to get over this sibling rivalry and remember, one day, I will have to sit next to the person who wronged me. If I don't forgive them and love them unconditionally, how will I have peace?

I may feel like the world is crapping down on me, but I can open up an umbrella. I'll use life's accessories, (blessings),  to get me through this storm. 

I'm guessing this stress headache is trying to tell me, "Dawn, take care of yourself. Its okay to stop, have a good cry and do something nice for yourself."

13 Thursday Thoughts

1. Saw "INFYDL" yesterday on a special military honor plate. I thought that rocked! I'm a peaceful person, but I had to admire this veteran's moxie.

2. Not enough of one kind of cereal to make one whole serving- I'm having a cereal buffet for breakfast.

3. I should design a bowl with separate compartments, that still allows for milk to flow through.

4. Wow. Even while composing your blog post, Multiply has found a way to throw advertisements at you. Am I subconsciously being hypnotized to buy "Tousle Me Softly"?

5. Wondering if I'll ever find the time to plant bulbs, of course do I really want to dig out in cold, 40F, wet weather? Ground squirrels are probably hoping I do.

6. I'm tired of all the H1N1 flu scare crud. Now people are jumping on the bandwagon, claiming to have Swine Flu when they really don't. There are lots of other viruses out there, and news flash, we don't have vaccines for all of them! Just follow healthy habits and get over it. (I mean that both literally and figuratively.)

7. I'm worried our naughty parakeets, Gust and Tornado, will teach Gilbert, the parakeet we're babysitting, bad behavior. Gilbert is a sweet bird, but by the time his owners return, he'll be ready to star in a Hitchcock remake.

8. How can October be half over? I haven't even started sewing costumes yet.

9. It doesn't seem fair. I've been eating religiously healthy all week, and my once clear face is beginning to break out. DH thinks its all the good stuff pushing out the toxins. Why does it have to push it out on my face!

10. I should pay bills online after I finish this. Eh...

11. DH shocked me by telling me he would consider moving to Vegas. He'll have to go without me. I'M A TREE GIRL!!!

12. I fear I may go to Costco before work today. Darn coupons!

13. Time to put on the exercise gear and Demand a little a Runway.

Baked Whole Wheat Shells & Cheese

Description:
UNBELIEVABLY DELICIOUS! You would never know this was only 260 calories a cup with 12 grams of protein. Its comfort food you don't have to feel guilty about. It comes together pretty easy, there's no reason to buy yucky store bought mac and cheese dinners. Serve with a large side of vegetables for a complete meal.

Ingredients:
1 T Smart Balance spread or other butter substitute
2 T flour
1 T garlic powder
2 C skim milk or non fat milk
1/2 C shredded low fat cheddar cheese
2 T grated Parmesan cheese
2 C cooked whole wheat shell pasta or use traditional elbow pasta
1/2 C Italian seasoned bread crumbs


Directions:
Preheat oven to 350
Spray a 6 cup baking dish with non stick cooking spray
-In a saucepan, melt the Smart balance and stir in garlic powder and flour, cooking for one minute
-Whisk in the milk, and bring mixture to a boil
-Reduce heat and simmer 5 minutes
-Remove from heat and add the cheddar cheese and Parmesan cheese
-Stir in the cooked pasta
-Transfer the mixture to your prepared baking dish and top with bread crumbs.
-Lightly spray the top of the bread crumbs with non stick cooking spray
-Bake for 30 minutes or until top browns slightly

Pumpkin Picking 2009

Pumpkin picking at Boo's patch- our favorite local pumpkin farm. They always have the most huge and unique pumpkins to choose from. I think I may have pushed DH's back muscles a little too far this year.

"Love ain't love until you give it up.." - Vedder

Catching Up....

While the cinnamon rolls enjoy their last rising, I'll try to jot a few notes here, rambling, babbling style.

We tagged our Christmas tree yesterday. I was worried we wouldn't find one as the farm we traditionally purchase our tree from, has had flood damage, and their tree inventory is dwindling. We found a Balsam Fir rather quickly though, as if it was waiting just for us. We'll head back the day after Thanksgiving, saw it down and bring it home.

The tree farm offers early tagging of their Christmas trees so that you can hunt for your tree before it gets too cold. Ironically, it snowed yesterday. We had our first snow flurries of the season, but thankfully, they didn't stick around. I'd like to know where our Indian Summer is.

Somehow, our house is staying warm and we haven't had to turn our heat on yet. At night our comforters help, and during the day, I'm usually baking something in the oven which helps heat our main level. After living in both styles of home, I can say I really do prefer ranch with a basement. The basement naturally holds a comfortable underground temperature, cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter.

Our underground is also holding 7 teen aged boys at the moment. DS14's sleep over was last night. During the week they worked hard at cleaning up the basement, I mean Mancave, and they are enjoying their game all night, no sleep weekend. The only thing I've had to do is provide pizza and the traditional homemade cinnamon roll breakfast. (Which I should now throw into oven. Be right back.)

I even snuck out with my sister for a little shopping, while DH provided the necessary adult supervision. It was mostly dream shopping though, since earlier this week, I had to remove a big chunk of funds for car maintenance. It hurt, but had to be done.

What also hurts, but has to be done, is my having to really watch everything I eat. I thought I was doing a great job, walking, eating more fruit and veg, but at my doctor's checkup, my weight was up along with my blood pressure. It was quite a shock, because I thought I had been doing everything right. I felt lost, but after the shock and depression wore off, I'm back in the fight.

On the plus side, I haven't been full blown sick in a very long while, so I know the healthy food and walking has helped. What I probably didn't have control of was portion size and sodium intake. So now I'm measuring everything along with counting calories using igoogle's free calorie counter application. It makes logging what I eat a little less painful, but I'm a bit obsessed with numbers.

Maybe its my frugal, penny pinching nature, but I don't want to see that calorie number climb. I have to be careful though, because years ago, I developed an eating disorder, trying to consume as little calories as necessary. I wasn't anorexic, but I was not eating healthy when I was trying to get by on 500 calories a day.

I'm trying for a more realistic 1500-1800 with 45 minutes of exercise a day. My doctor was great in suggesting I only try to lose 3 pounds in 8 weeks, but what has me more concerned is the blood pressure number. That's the real number I want to see come down.

I better go and make up some icing for the rolls. Talk to you later! :) 

Still have too much do and not enough time for myself. :(

Back Spacer

Rating:	★★★★★
Category:	Music
Genre:	Alternative Rock
Artist:	Pearl Jam

Since my Melon boys are on hold, I picked up Pearl Jam's latest release, Back Spacer. Every single song is a classic and speaks to my soul. I cannot get enough of this album the past few weeks.

My wake up call came loud and clear today! I need to schedule in some time for soul searching and make sure I'm choosing the path I belong on.

I'm trying really hard to remember what a blessing it is to see a doctor for wellness checkups. I'm so not in the mood to wear a paper dress, in a germ invested office and well, you know!!! I'll go for my family and in remembrance of my family and friends who fought the fight. Its not about my needs, but the needs of my family. They want me to be around for as long as a I can be.

Passing this great article along. Be sure to read all the way to the bottom for flu prevention tips. They really do work! http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/10/06/Why-You-Should-NOT-Vaccinate-Your-Children-Against-the-Flu-This-Season.aspx

Can't Believe He Is 14 Today!

How can one of my babies be so old?

How can he now be only 1 year away from getting a learner's permit and driving a car?

How can he be sleeping this day away?

I should wake him up. 14 years ago today, around this very same time of the morning we did. We took him from his protected, warm place of growth and with his first breath, he began to scream.

My first thought was- Oh NO! My baby boy is really angry!! I couldn't see him at first. I was strapped down and paralyzed, a major downside to having a C-section. I was assured the crying was a good thing, but when you can't see your crying infant and your abdomen is sliced wide open, you feel very helpless.

Safe and securely wrapped, burrito style, Jakob stopped crying in the arms of my husband. From my horizontal vantage point, my first sight of my son was of his little pinky finger, all curled in. It looked exactly like my husband's, and I knew right away, this was my baby! 

Jake has always looked just like my husband, perhaps with a little bit of my genes softening the edges, and as he grows, he shows more of my husband's mannerisms and personality traits. His taste bud DNA has to be from his father as well.

We took him out to eat, in honor of his birthday, and he chose Red Lobster for all you can eat shrimp scampi. He really enjoyed it and so did my husband of course! Jared skips ordering a meal at Red Lobster, preferring to fill up on cheddar biscuits. Can't say I blame him. Those cheesy, garlic rolls are awesome! Grandma had Flounder, and I ordered my usual Tilapia with garlic mashed potatoes- better than cake and ice cream if you ask me!

Speaking of cake and ice cream, we had a little pre-birthday party celebration with our cousins Saturday night. I ate too much sugar and it only confirmed to me, its worth it to keep making healthy food choices. I was sure I was getting the stomach flu, but it must of just been the crud I ate. Its not worth losing out on the opportunity to celebrate with family because you make yourself ill with poor food choices. I'm not a kid anymore. I can't tolerate the occasional sugar binge without repercussions.

We gave DS14 his presents Sunday night, thinking he could spend all of today enjoying them. I've heard a rumor he didn't go to bed last night until 5:00am. I better allow him to sleep in while I get all nostalgic.

Would you want an implantable chip that tells the world you have a virus in you? Copy and paste this link: http://www.reuters.com/article/hotStocksNews/idUSTRE58K4BZ20090921 Please don't allow fear to control you!

Having a great weekend, enjoying my family. Was sure I was getting a stomach bug, but have managed to fight it back! Yeah!

Missed you all today. Too much working, not enough playing!

How Can It Be October already?

Life seems to be moving too fast. Maybe its everything on my plate, but another part of me wonders, is the earth spinning around the sun faster? How would we know if the entire universe sped up?

When I ponder these questions, I also realize I can look back at my past and feel those memories were created so long ago, yet also close by as well. I can feel an eternal connection, but also the movement of time forward gives me the dizzies from time to time.

Its about time management and prioritizing. Some days though, I have to give these tasks up and just go with the flow. It was once explained to me, I prefer to ride the raft, not cling to the sides of the bank. I was also told though, my river runs deep.

I suppose I should then realize, deep waters mean less rapids! So why does it feel right now, like I'm about to be thrown from the boat? Maybe its time to dig my paddle in and find those deeper waters?

This blog post was a good place to start, don't you think?:)

I refuse to put the heat on yet. Bring me another layer.

Honeycrisp, I love you.....

Special K wasn't quite special enough this morning. I was hungry again after only an hour. Honeycrisp apple to the rescue! Remembering I was too busy to eat it last night at work, I dug it out of my work bag and along with another cup of warm tea, its hitting the spot. If you've never tried a Honeycrisp, pay the extra pennies and give one a try. They are so crisp and juicy, a perfect blend of sweet with a little bit of tartness.

The boys have dentist checkups today, which I'm dreading as well. I know they will recommend DS10 see an orthodontist again. I'm just not sure he's ready for braces. I want him to be mature enough to commit to taking good care of his teeth. I had braces and was not self disciplined enough to get over the embarrassment of brushing my teeth at school. After the brackets came off, I had enamel damage. I want DS10 to feel like he has some say in this decision, plus I'm not sure how we're going to pay for it.

DS13 also expressed how much he hates dental appointments. The picking, the drilling, he's very sensitive to dental pain. I can't figure out if its just anxiety or if he really doesn't respond to Novocaine. He did have one bad experience when our usual dentist wasn't there. The substitute drilled and filled his tooth without Novocaine. Now we insist on seeing only our dentist, but even with this, the last time DS13 needed work done, he said he felt it the entire time. He asked for more Novocaine and our dentist gave it to him, but it didn't help.

Why does tooth pain have to be so severe? Teeth aren't that big. I'd rather get a pap smear and a boob smash than have my teeth cleaned. Is it because those nerve endings are so much closer to your brain? I find it annoying as well that your teeth will hurt if your sinuses are bothered. I wish our teeth were like shark teeth. Wouldn't it be better if we could just keep growing more?

Tuesday's ramble...

Frost advisory tonight. It seems too early, but when I think about all the nature cues, its not surprising. Most of the geese and ducks have lone gone, the squirrels have been ramped up OCD style, digging and burying their food supply, and even the garden seemed to shut down early.

I think I'm ready though. I had DH haul out the extra down comforter, and I scored at the Farm & Fleet store yesterday- "Lowest prices of the season", grabbing us a few pairs of jeans. Now if only I can find my socks. Preferring to be barefoot, I'm always challenged when it comes to finding socks and footwear.

I'm motivated to pull the looms back out and knit more caps and try scarfs too. The chill in the air has me wanting to bake, and I'm back brewing and drinking my tea on the hot side.

I'm trying Hawthorne Berry tea. I've read its good for your heart and circulatory system. I also heard it may help RLS. I read that many believe in the healing power of Hawthorne Berry because its believed Christ's crown of thorns was made from Hawthorne Berry branches. Of course I thought that was cool, and I had to Google to see if I could grow a Hawthorne Berry bush in my yard!

The boys have been enjoying their new Xbox 360 and I'm surprised it hasn't consumed all their time like I thought it would. Its just another console to play different games. They are still enjoying other activities.

Yesterday they took turns sawing down the wild Mulberry bush trees that had taken over on the corners of our Sleepyhouse. I love how easy Mulberries spread and the fact the birds love them, but the reality is, we can't have them growing so close to the house and risk damaging the foundation. We still have a larger tree on the corner of our lot. The boys did a bit of pruning, removing the branches touching the ground. Hopefully this helps strengthen the tree. I know all the sawing will help strengthen my boys' arms!

I think even though it may be scary to watch your baby yield sharp tools, its good to place them in their hands with supervision. I can remember years ago our doctor warned me that boys have a natural fasnication with knives. I thought at the time, whatever, how can he know, but later discovered it was true. So we've always tried to be there, guiding them as to how sharp they can be, and the damage that will occur if you don't focus and concentrate on using them correctly.

Case in point, the day mom almost took off her finger tip slicing a bagel. Had the blade not caught in the bone, her fingertip would have popped off! And yesterday, peeling butternut squash too quickly, her DNA almost was added to the risotto. Its amazing how many times I've warned my children only to injure myself! LOL!

At the library yesterday, I saw the latest issue of National Geographic. It has a really cool fold out poster of a giant Redwood tree. I have to see if I can buy a copy of the magazine now, just for the poster! I love trees and its on my bucket list to see a Redwood. The people climbing the giant tree looked like ants.

Speaking of ants, we watched a Goosebumps video, Awesome Ants last night. We borrowed a whole slew of Goosebumps videos at the library, getting in the Halloween spirit. There's something about curling up under a blanket and watching a scary video together when its cold and dark outside that is comforting and bonding.

I guess I've babbled enough. I better get up and get moving. Have a great Tuesday!

Baked Brown Rice & Squash Risotto

Description:
I adapted this recipe to make it more healthy and vegetarian. I wasn't prepared for how much it would make! It would make a great side dish at family gatherings or for a pot luck.

This version is sweet and savory. I'm inspired to alter this recipe next time, making something entirely sweet and dessert like, a pumpkin/squash rice pudding, using vanilla soy milk instead of veggie broth, skipping the onion,pepper and Parmesan cheese, and adding nuts and dried cranberries. I'll also try making it in a slow cooker, rather than the oven.

Ingredients:
4 C low sodium vegetable broth
2 C brown rice (uncooked)
2 C diced raw butternut squash (peel and remove seeds first)
1 1/2 C canned pumpkin (not pumpkin pie filling)
1 small yellow onion, minced
1 t pepper (or to taste)

2 t dried basil or 1/2 C chopped fresh basil
1/4 C finely grated Parmesan cheese
2 T non fat, plain yogurt

Directions:
Pre-heat oven to 400F

In a 3 quart baking dish, add veggie broth, rice, squash, pumpkin and onion and stir gently to combine. COVER with aluminum foil tightly and bake for 30 minutes.

Remove from the oven and stir to see if the rice has absorbed all the broth. Return to oven if the rice has not yet puffed and absorbed all the liquid. (I had to bake mine for another 15 minutes.)

When the dish has finished baking, stir in the basil, Parmesan cheese and yogurt to give it a final, comfort food, creamy texture.

Clouds look heavy, with a desire to fall down. Wind is dancing with the trees, stretching those branches. Its a blustery, beautiful autumn day, and I've got a warm, hug in a cup in my grasp. Life is good!

Choosing To Stay Well

So much to do, project lists keep getting longer, yesterday didn't go entirely as planned, and I found myself so fatigued. By the end of the day, I was an official couch potato, but I think I needed it. I'm sure my body is fighting off colds and flu.

Speaking of flu, I know a week from now, when I head in for my yearly checkup, my doctor will ask if I want a flu shot. I've gotten by all these years without one, and frankly its been almost 2 years since I've been full blown flu sick. I've had those times where I think I'm getting sick, but have always been able to stay ahead of it and beat it back. I'd rather try to eat healthy, exercise and try other natural, immunity boosting ideas.

I know I may be taking a risk, but after reading about the possible negative effects of flu shots, I feel better choosing alternatives that are known not to have any adverse effects, even if those alternatives may not offer total protection.

I know this means I need to be disciplined. I need to exercise everyday, stay away from sugar, and veggie up. I need to also listen to my body and rest when it needs the down time. I can't allow the stress and pressure of life to take my focus off of taking care of myself.

I'm not comfortable with giving away this responsibility to a needle and syringe. I really don't want things done for me. I'm more of a do it herself kind of person. In fact, when I do get sick, this is what stresses me out, I can't take care of myself and those I love.

I'm an autodidact. I'm a home schooling mother. I know many wonderful things are possible when you choose to take on those challenges yourself. I'm not going to allow fear to make decisions for me.

If I do get sick, at least I'll know I gave my body what it needs to fight off the bugs, and hopefully the virus won't find my temple an inviting place.

On that note, I'm going to tie my own shoes, move my legs, swing my arms and breathe it in and out, on my own. No one can do this for me, and this gift I give myself, means so much.

Yumi, our naughty cat, has discovered she can hook her claws into the screen door and pull it open. Now we have a house full of flies and grasshoppers.

X-Box 360 Day?

We made it to Friday, but I can't completely relax until DH is home, and our family is united for the weekend. I'm happy about not having anything pressing to do, but the spring in my step is missing, and I think its because I'm missing my husband.

I have a complete love affair with my husband. From the day I met him, I didn't want to be away from him. He is my Soul One. To me, he's the person who makes life a party. Nothing is as fun without him.

The boys have saved and today is the day, I believe, we will shop for an Xbox 360. Originally they were saving for the Pro model, but prices have dropped by $100 and if we buy the Elite model before October 3rd, we can qualify for a $50 rebate. We are now really just comparing warranties.

Radio Shack is in the lead, but that would also mean, we'd have to wait another week for delivery. Today, I promised to research Walmart's warranty policy. (Shuddering!!) I am not a fan of Wal-Fart at all, but the XBox is priced the same at all retailers. It comes down to the warranty prices and what they include. I prefer Target, but their electronic warranties do not have great reviews. Best Buy is a nightmare as well.

I think I'm going to make this experience a little less painful for me, by waiting for DH's work day to end, suggesting we meet for supper at Pizza Oven and then heading over to Wal-fart as a family.

Have a great weekend!