Aren't these beautiful? My DMIL has quite the green thumb. The bees were very happy to have one last delicious drink before winter comes. It was unseasonably warm today, almost reaching 70. We took full advantage of it, and enjoyed a stroll along the lake front. I love Lake Michigan's lake front. We don't live near an ocean, so for me, this is as close as I can get. When I look out at the big spans of water, I can't help but feel my nautical ancestors calling to me. I've always pictured myself living near water and trees. Maybe someday.
I'm sorry to see the weekend come to an end, but anxious for the week to get moving. I'm praying DH gets a call this week for an interview. We're heading into our 4th week of unemployment. We have an appointment this week for food and health care assistance. If we do qualify, I understand it may still be several months before the benefits kick in. Our appointment for energy assistance isn't until the end of January. At that rate, winter will be over by the time that kicks in. The wait list is very long, and I'm sure its because the unemployment rate is very high in our area.
We tried to unload a car load of stuff at Goodwill, and I was surprised they refused to take any toys. The only toys they will take are brand new, in the box, never opened. I'm going to try another charity like St. Vincent's or Salvation Army.
I found out my sister had full blown H1N1. She lives 3 blocks away and she never called me. I'm sure it was a rough week for her, but I was hurt she never called. I would have liked to have had the chance to help her out, making meals or something. She actually never calls me. Its always me calling her. Of course she's very quick to call my other sister and gossip about me. I'm seriously taking a good look at my side of the family and realizing our relationships are not what family should be.
Maybe its because of the closeness I have with my husband, children and mother in law, but I can't help but compare what they offer me compared to what my birth family offers.
When I was younger, I thought it was me. I was the "EMO" child and the rest of my family just made fun of me or rolled their eyes. I only remember my father's mother being like me, and I watched as they made fun and rolled their eyes at her too.
"Will you stop your crying and carrying on!"
I can remember my Grandmother talking to me alone in her kitchen. She'd tell me I was special. She'd say things like, "Don't let them ever get you down. You are special!" We had that bond of both being emotional creatures. I lost my Grandmother while I was in high school. Thankfully, I met my husband shortly there after.
I'm so grateful for my husband, my children and my mother in law. They always lift me up. I cherish the time I have to spend with them. I know this week that time will again be limited as I try to put in extra hours to help. I so desire to go back to my old schedule, working 3 nights instead of 5 days. I miss being able to unschool myself on things that interest me.
I know I'm being selfish and most people don't have the luxury of working part-time, but you have to understand I didn't find true peace and happiness until I began unschooling with my children almost 11 years ago now. I was a nervous, anxious mess when I worked full time and tried to balance being a wife and mother.
I have a gift for being very patient. I was born to be a parent, and I'm frustrated my role in this capacity is being deminished.
If you've made it to the end of this babble, thank you for listening. I've decided to live honestly and make my life an open book, because one day, all truth is revealed.
8 comments:
Thank you for sharing honestly with us, Dawn. Trust and respect... it goes both ways! The toy thing... it's thanks to the lead China put in the paint. It's the same down here. What a shame. All families have their "problems" - you aren't alone. Enjoy the people in your life who bring you joy. That's what it's all about, anyway. I work very hard to not let people or things steal my joy. Peace & hugs!!
Lovely photo! They are beautiful. This weather has been wonderful; I enjoyed spending most of it outdoors. I do hope your husband gets a call this week. I’m shocking surprised that Goodwill would not take the toys. I’m sure another charity would be more then happy to. I’m sorry that your sister didn’t call you but if she does at the best of times then it shouldn’t upset you. It’s possible she felt you had enough on your plate to worry about and didn’t want to ask for help. Sadly for some, we don’t get to pick our families. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us Dawn, hope it made you feel better.
Beautiful flowers your MIL has grown, thanks for sharing the pictures. Hang in there, your family will survive this tough time. I understand the energy assistance, we applied as we always do in Sept and were approved but there has been no payments made so far. They have said the state hasn't released any money, so we are trying to hold until they do (I was waiting for a payment to the fuel oil dealer, don't know if we will have enough if the cold weather comes too early) I always believe in a phrase a women told me when I worked - When the going gets tough, the tough get going - you are a strong woman and I know you will make it through this rough time. You will return to full time motherhood soon.
Hugs Across the Miles
OH those flowers are very pretty!!!! OH I will be praying that your hubby gets that call. Well I can't believe the Goodwill isn't taking toys! We still have lots of used toys around the ones here. I am so sorry your sister didn't call! It would of bothered me too if it would of been my sister but knowning my sister she would of done the same thing! I hope you'll get approved for the energy assistance. I have been lucky whenever we've applied it got approved fast. Within 10 days and we've gotten our fuel. I hope your night has been a good one! Hugs to you
"LIKE" ... lol.
Very nice, encouraging, and interesting. I am close to my husband and mother-in-law also. She has her issues, lol, but I've been very close to her through the years regardless and I love her like my mom :) The flowers are so pretty! And, things will get better all the way around, there are always ups and downs :(
Those flowers are beautiful. I love living nearby a beach. Don't think I could move far away from it.
Hope you quailfy for these programs. Sorry to hear about your sister. I'd be hurt too if she lived that close + didn't call.
Hope you find somewhere to take the toys. Did they say why they weren't taking used toys? Maybe Freecycle if you can't find anywhere. Hope your week is good
Those flowers ARE gorgeous! :o) I have been enjoying my mums since they popped with color recently. Flowers are just refreshing. :o)
I love water too. :o) The beauty of it and its surroundings is breathtaking. :o)
I hope the assistance you are hoping for is given and given quickly. :o) Do you have Angel Food ministries around there? www.angelfoodministries.com You can buy groceries through them at special prices . Might be worth looking into. Of course, there will be times you can probably buy cheaper cherry picking the sales papers. :o)
I am surprised Goodwill didn't want to take the toys. I am sure the Salvation Army will take gently used toys like that. :o)
I feel for you regarding the lack of connection you have with your sister. It's difficult to have that void when you can see others around you having that very connection. My sister and I are not close and may never be at the level I would love to be. :o( Since you live nearby, you can still drop off some soup or another meal for her as a goodwill gesture. :o) Maybe you'll touch her heart and she will find herself wanting to create a stronger bond with you. :o) {{{hugs}}}
You do seem very patient and so very kind. :o) I enjoy you, Dawn. :)
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