I Only Woke Up Once!!

I can actually remember dreaming. That's a good thing. I know I have finally benefited from serious sleep. The honey and apple cider trick really works better than cough meds.

I'm grateful to be coming off a great weekend, where my family took such great care of me. Even though I had to work a safety event yesterday, my husband took the time to chauffeur me and help me set up and take down. The event was actually kind of slow. I probably only spoke with a dozen families before it all came to an early end when a little boy was seriously injured. So much for it being a safety event!

It was the fault of the sports complex hosting the event. This gated doorway that fell off should not have in my opinion. The boy was naturally barefoot because his family was promoting martial arts. I certainly hope they do all they can for the family, especially since this boy's father was giving free seminars on Halloween safety.

We booked our room for the Kalahari Sandusky for the Unschoolers Gathering next May. We've always wanted to go, but years prior the event was held in February, which is unpredictable winter driving season. Knowing this will be during the later part of spring, I feel better planning for that drive. Although it is somewhat unpredictable if or where DH will be working then, we can't allow fear to lead us. We have plenty of time between now and next May to set aside money for the trip. I want to make memories and travel while our boys are still with us.

I became a Great Auntie yesterday! (How come we skip "grand" and go right to "great" when you're not the grandparent?) Its my sister's first grandchild and my parents first great grandchild. I can still remember being in high school when my mom called to inform me my nephew had been born. Now he's a daddy! It's amazing how fast times goes by.

I better get moving. I want to drop off my Kitchenaid for servicing. Its running but making noise, and I will need it working this coming holiday season. Have a great Monday!

Can I Go To The Overlook Now?

I'm in a funk. I feel like running away to a place no one would want to venture to just to be alone with my thoughts, a place where maybe I could be the puppet master for awhile rather than feel the pull of these strings.

I don't need to pretend to write a novel or talk to the dead, but I need to feel I have a handle on things and right now I'm far from that mindset. When something trivial such as overdue library books begins to stress you out, its a warning sign.

Okay, it not really about library books. I have a lump where a woman doesn't want to find one, in October of all months. October, when I should be enjoying family celebrations and the coming of my favorite season. Its probably only a cyst, but do you know what's so crazy mental of me? I'm more worried about co-pays than about achieving peace of mind. 

Why can I be foolishly frugal, especially when it comes to spending money for my needs? Its not that we can't afford the co-pay right now, DH is working and for the time being we have health insurance. As much as I fear the big C, I really don't think this lump is it. I feel like I'd be wasting money only to find out its just a cyst. That's completely warped of me I know.

I just don't feel like being normal right now. I actually would prefer to live a homeschooling socialization myth. Can we shut ourselves out from the world with enough food and books to last the winter? The Overlook is inviting me.

I can feel change arriving as the geese leave over my head, and I want to take a moment to figure out where should I be redirecting my focus. Life's distractions are preventing me from this task.

Super Quick Update...

I'm on my 5th load of laundry. How did that happen? We usually only average one a day.

Buttermilk brownies are cooling and being allowed to age before being tested. I'm trying a new recipe using Smart Balance instead of butter or oil. Plus I had buttermilk I had to use up.

Experimenting with buttermilk ice cubes- I'm hoping I can keep the cubes in a freezer bag and thaw as needed for recipes. We just don't go through that much buttermilk all at once, and the powdered instant buttermilk isn't as good.

DS14- soon to be DS15 - asked me to cut his hair. I offered to take him for a real, professional cut, but he said it didn't matter because soon it will be hat weather. I love that frugal boy!

Yumi is being really naughty. I can't figure out what's got her so ticked off. You should see DS11's feet!

I can't believe we're short about 4 feet of underlay in the hallway. I had really wanted to return that last $50 roll! Its seems to be a cruel joke I have to cut only 4 feet off of the 100 foot roll and be left with 96 feet. This confirms, we'll have to lay down laminate in the bedrooms one day to use it up.

Speaking of the flooring project, the living room is so close to being done. To our horror, we discovered our walls are not straight and now instead of that last row of planks fitting nicely, we are left with a small inch or so gap, too big for the quarter round to hide. Its only along half of the wall. We're thinking of cutting a sliver of laminate and gluing it in.

I've been taking magnesium pills. I didn't think I was low in magnesium, but I thought I'd try them and see what kind of results I ended up with. I had read magnesium helps with hypertension, nerve function and metabolism. Well, after a week, my RLS is gone and the scale is finally starting to move down! I'll have to re-test my blood pressure soon.

There goes the dryer buzzing at me. One quick fold and then I'm off to work. See ya later, gators!

Today's Blah..Blah..Blah...Thoughts

I've been in a strange rhythm that doesn't feel quite right. Why is it I can be doing everything right yet, life feels so wrong?

I miss my husband. I'm thankful he's got work for the time being and ends are meeting, but I still miss him. I'm not the only one. The boys miss him too. Still, we're taking advantage of the time we get to spend together.

DH came home yesterday and announced we were going out for supper just because we could. After my day long headache, this was a wonderful surprise. Sometimes you need to break from the routine and treat yourself, even on a Monday night.

I'm back to walking everyday with DS11 but lately it doesn't give me the high it used to. Its not giving me that energy boost either.

My sleeping patterns are all out of whack too. Either I can't fall asleep or I'm ready for bed early. I'll wake before getting a solid 7-8 hours too. This morning my mind woke up at 4:30am even though my body wanted more sleep. Could this be hormones?

I think I'm ready for the end of summer. I know the cooler weather will re-charge me and give me that fresh start I need. I'm in the final week of my summer work schedule and soon it will be Labor Day weekend. That will help me transition my thinking.

I'll continue to go with the flow for now, and hope time brings changes.

Feeling Blah...

As if my wonky camera wasn't enough, now the computer is giving me the business when it comes to uploading my photos. I'll have to put the food diary on hold. Ever since we hooked up an external back up drive, I'm having to adapt to doing things a bit differently.

I'm feeling down, and I don't know exactly why. Its probably a trifecta of heat, humidity and hormones. Of course maybe the bank account and messy house are not helping either.

We have this strange leak of some kind happening in our kitchen. Its really strange, as if I poured brown sugar on the floor and wet it down. I can't figure out what it is, or where it is coming from. The pipes do not seem to be leaking, but this tan, grainy substance is showing up along the baseboard in front of the kitchen sink. I suppose I'll have to take everything out from under the sink and really investigate it tomorrow, when I have more time.

I think the Japanese beetles are bringing me down too. Our birch tree is infested with thousands and I'm fearing the worse, we'll lose the tree. Its funny how certain plants and trees they ignore completely, but others they swarm on. I've read you can chemically treat your grass to kill the larva but complete elimination of the pests could take up to 5 years of applying these chemicals. As sad as I am to see my birch tree killed, I don't think I want to dump all those chemicals on the lawn.

The mulberry tree/bushes they seem to leave along. Maybe I should encourage more wild mulberries to grow around the yard instead of trying to fight the beetles? The problem with mulberry bushes, they grow almost too quickly and for a deciduous tree, their leaves come out later than others in the spring and drop off too quickly in the fall. 

We have a mulberry bush that grew wild near the corner of the house. I had DS11 chop it down to the ground last year but we did not remove the roots. This year the bush grew back huge. Its over 6 feet tall and 4 feet wide in this growing season alone. If only we could place these bushes around the perimeter of the yard rather than the house, we'd have lots of quick privacy for part of the year.

On a positive note, as I sit here and type this, I can hear the boys outside moving the rest of the dirt off the driveway and into the garden area. They are laughing and having a good time, which is pretty remarkable considering its hard labor in the 90 degree heat. They are shoveling the dirt onto a tarp, dragging the tarp over to the garden beds and dumping it.

This is just proving to me I need to stop worrying so much about them. They are capable of hard work, and they are capable of doing it without complaining about it. I found myself worrying the other day about SAT preparations and questioning what more should we be doing, yet if I'd only relax and take a closer look, they are proving to be fine young men.

I'll leave for work soon and hopefully this will distract me. I can only do what I'm capable of. I don't have to try and solve all my worries at once. The Japanese beetles, the mystery sugary goo, the messy house, the bills to pay, they can all wait for me or I can let them go, and just try redirecting my focus.

Rambing...

I have to add to DS11's bucket list- meet Chumlee at Gold and Silver Pawn, see "those faces in South Dakota, the presidents I think", and a visit to Salt Lake City. If only we had the time and money to take our family to these places. I would love to make his dreams comes true.

Our family watches Pawn Stars on the history channel. Chumlee is an employee at Gold and Silver Pawn, who usually provides the comic relief on the show. Its interesting to learn about these historical items but unlike the show Antique Roadshow, the items on Pawn Stars are bargained over for value.

We also enjoy watching Pickers, a show about two antique dealers from Iowa driving around "picking" through people's old barns looking for valuable junk to resell. We're wondering if on our road trip to the family reunion in Kansas if we'll come near their store. I'll have to Google it and see.

Yesterday I picked a few more sugar snap peas. I had them sitting on the kitchen table. Later DS11 told me, "I ate my pea pod for the day." On the first day I had picked 4 pods, I told each family member we each get to try one. Now I guess DS11 thinks I meant everyday he has to try one. LOL!!! Works for me!!

Today begins our village's Fourth Of July celebration weekend. Our town celebrates with small town charm. The park is set up with tents, selling homemade pies, barbecue chicken, brats, etc. We have music, games, softball tournaments, your typical summer festival fun. Tonight they are shooting off fireworks in addition to more scheduled for Sunday the 4th. I'm sorry I have to work tonight. It sounds like fun, as long as you have mosquito repellent. Our park is located next to a lake.

Sunday we'll also have our parade. True to a small town farming community, we'll have an endless stream of tractors and farm equipment all washed and shined up. The Dairy Queens will ride by in their borrowed convertibles, waving their robotic wave. The baseball teams, the local businesses throwing candy and Popsicles, the high school band, its all very Norman Rockwell and I love it.

I better get moving here. I've been requested to make mancakes for breakfast and I still have to get my walk in.

Life Feels Crazy

Two weeks ago, my baby tomato plants froze to death. Now its in the 90's. I must live in Wisconsin.

I'm having messed up dreams. Last night I pulled a blue parasitic worm from my palm and DH thought he was herding cats, but it was a skunk instead. Please let this not be an omen about DH's interview! (Unless its a good omen. :) )

Apparently, I'm not cool anymore, and I'm not referring to this heat. I'll get through these teen years right? I should just give him some space and trust.

Walking is going well. I'm still hoping to motivate my family to join me. I must be patient.

It feels like I've been busy, but what do I have to show for it? I have nothing to present.

I need to so some personal planning. I think this is why I feel lost.

Am I enabling or am I being supportive?

Finding myself longing for things I shouldn't reach for just yet. Is it wishful thinking or unwise dreaming?

I must continue to have hope and remember, if I do what I can, the Lord will take care of the rest.

Journal for Saturday 5/1/10

It was another windy day, but we did our best to move some of the dirt from the driveway. Each one of my sons helped me wheelbarrow loads of dirt and compost into the two new Square Foot Garden beds we've built. Of the yard and a half of dirt our neighbor gifted us, we probably still have a little less than a yard left.

DH worked a bit in his makeshift office in the mancave. He had an off day, not feeling right. He did take a break to drive me back to Menards to pick up more wood. We have so much dirt still remaining, we've decided to make at least 2 more SFG beds. This will bring us up to 5 total. I'm sure I'll find something to grow in them. If the dirt pile still isn't gone from the driveway, I will fill containers and grow even more goodies.

I was worried Yumi was getting sick, but thankfully she seemed better Saturday. Friday night I thought she was getting a urinary track infection, but now I'm thinking it was clogged glands. I cleaned her up best I could, and we put her in the garage for the night to save the carpets from any spraying. She seemed herself on Saturday and actually seemed to have enjoyed her night in the garage. There is an old couch to curl up on in there, and I'm sure she found a few mice to play with. She isn't squatting as if to spray and her backside isn't smelly. ("Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you...")

We finished writing clues for our Letterboxing workshop next Saturday. Now I have to carve, carve, carve, and hope I can get all the stamps done in time. I'm bummed the weather forecast for Oshkosh next Saturday looks dreadful, 80% chance of rain, high of 44, but I can't control the weather. Hopefully families will bring raincoats and umbrellas.

We're suppose to have 75 participants scheduled for the Letterboxing workshop. Our other workshops are much smaller, around 20 participants each. I'm bummed the turnout for the ATC workshop is so low.

I'm going to have to learn about plumbing. Yesterday DH said he could hear water running, but thought it was the boys and I working on the garden beds outside. Later when we went to move laundry, we noticed the machines were completely soaked and the laundry waiting on the floor was as well. There was a dark, water stain on the foundation wall coming from where the outside hose hooks up. I think the pipe has burst and when we turn on the outside hose, we are flooding the laundry area in the basement. I may be watering our gardens with buckets for awhile. Unless I hint around I need the cute watering can I saw at the garden center for Mother's Day! ;)

I've got rhubarb to chop! My neighbor gave me a bunch and even offered if I want to dig up the plant in her yard, I could move it to ours. I will have to make my rhubarb muffins this week and polish my stainless steel pans.

As for our daily dose of cheesy horror, we watched Hello Mary Lou, Prom Night II on the "THIS" network last night. "THIS" is becoming the choice channel for us. I hope we're home in time next Saturday night for "Dolls".

I Can't Think Of A Title- Does It Matter Anyway? I'm Just Going To Babble....

I'm fighting off a virus. I'm not sure which one. It could have been the sinus infection DH had a few weeks ago or the head colds the boys ended up with. With me though, my sinuses are fine, this virus has settled in my throat and chest. The nagging, scratchy cough is still hanging around, but thankfully I only had one day of complete shut down. All I could do yesterday was sleep and try not to move because every time I did it hurt. Every muscle ached and my skin felt like pins and needles.

I'm grateful my illness waited for my parents to leave. We had a nice visit with them, and hopefully we won't have to wait quite as long between visits.

We exposed my mom to movies she probably wouldn't have watched. One night, I think she didn't know how to turn the channel and she watched Wrong Turn. Although she raised me with classic monster movies on Saturday afternoons, she doesn't enjoy gore. I also got a kick out of watching her watching Fido, a humorous zombie movie on any zombie fan's must see list.

My mom did enjoy our visit to a high end nursery near us. She bought several herb plants and we all enjoyed the flowers and gardening toys. I have no money to spend on plants and flowers, but it was still fun to browse. The nursery has a huge indoor greenhouse with patio furniture and a Koi pond. They also serve free coffee and don't mind if you simply hang out, enjoying the fish. I found myself wandering around, checking out the variety of plants and asking questions whenever a salesperson asked if I needed help. I figure I could browse there on a regular basis and end up learning quite a bit! How long though before they recognize I'm the woman who never buys anything?! :)

I am having garden envy. I was all excited because we have the materials to set up two more raised beds in addition to the one we built last season. Then I saw a house down the block with 6 such raised beds. Sigh.....One day at a time. This unemployment mode can't last forever right?

Three more bags of clothes made it to Goodwill. I got tired of seeing the boys wear their old, worn out clothes. DMIL has blessed them with so many nice new shirts and pairs of shorts I couldn't understand why they were wearing the old, worn out stuff. Turns out their dresser drawers were so full, the new stuff was buried under the old. They would always just grab the top clean shirt. So out with the old, in with the new and hopefully we'll figure out a way to rotate the wardrobe better.

I have to start carving stamps. I'm way behind! I usually prepare for our homeschooling workshops months in advance, but somehow, its coming down to the last minute this year. The workshops we're hosting are repeats so at least we can re-use some of the materials. We do want to offer new stamps for the Letterboxing workshop and new hiding places. Its a favorite at the conference, and I think the returning families would appreciate new stamps.

I think we'll carve more puzzle themed stamps because its quick and easier to carve one big stamp and then chop it into pieces for separate Letterboxes. This way too, the finders can try to put the stamped pieces together to form the original carving.  I also want to make Letterbox Trading Cards to leave in some of the boxes. It will go along with our Artist Trading Card Workshop.

As always I'm being over ambitious, but I've found its best to aim higher than you think you can. You end up accomplishing more that way.

Fridays Are Fresh Days...4/2/10

Random Friday Notes....

I can't believe its Good Friday already. I'm looking forward to Easter because I need to renew my spirit. I need a fresh start. Unemployment stress has kept this dark cloud over everything, and I'm tired of it. I'm ready for the sun to shine again in our world, and Easter will remind me of another Son who is always shining for us.

Easter also means our extended family with gather and that will lift me up. Sunday we'll be feasting in K-town and next weekend my side hopefully will repeat the experience.

I turned up our Square Foot Garden and she's ready for planting. I'm going to gamble and try some lettuces. We have makeshift cloches, so perhaps we'll get some leafy greens despite the rabbits and the threat of frost. If it doesn't work out, oh well. We'll sow again into the ground in May.

We're hoping to build a few more raised beds. We have to or all these seedlings we've started will have no where to go come May.

The big purge is on. Today we donated our 1993 Saturn SL. It had sat in our garage for over 5 years. It needed work and we ended up buying our Grandpa's Cavalier instead. I don't know why we just parked the Saturn in the garage and didn't try to get rid of it sooner. Maybe because it was our first car we bought together, as a newly married couple. We actually bought that car instead of taking a honeymoon.

Now that its gone, it feels great! We can clean up the garage and better utilize the space.
 
We finished season 2 of Dexter. BRILLIANT!!! Can't wait for season 3 to arrive from Netflix this Monday.

No jury duty next week! Boo Yah!! I have to call again next Tuesday to see if I'm wanted the following week.

I'm thinking of checking out a "free" weight loss group starting at our library. I want it to be a group of local people interested in supporting each other, but I'm skeptical. I hope it isn't someone trying to pitch a product. I can't afford Weight Watchers but the accountability of a bi-weekly group would be good for me. Online groups haven't worked for me.

We have an arrangement with the boys. If we go to a rock concert, they get to have a sleep over. Since DH & I saw STP last weekend, we're picking up pizzas and the man cave will turn into video game central tonight. All will go well unless we lose power!

It's Dandy Blend Chocolate Almond Frappuccino time. I blend together almond milk, Dandy Blend herbal coffee substitute, chocolate syrup and ice to make a healthier version of a Mocha Frap- No fat, no dairy, 130 calories of perfection!

Thursdays Thoughts

We stayed up very late streaming Dexter episodes from Netflix. When we come to the end of season 3, I'll go into withdrawal, until season 4 is released. This show is brilliant!

Slept in this morning, of course, but I still feel relaxed rather than rushed. I hope I can keep this feeling going into the weekend.

Tomorrow night is Date Night!! DH is taking me to see Stone Temple Pilots once again. Its been so long since we've been to a big rock show. Its about time I lose more of my hearing.

I should clean my house, but I think I want to get my hands dirty in the garden instead. It is too early to plant outside, but I can still get things ready for planting. We never did get a growing table set up. Maybe I will have to get creative and find a spare horizontal surface somewhere to start a few seedlings.

I know I shouldn't be jealous of my neighbor, but yesterday an industrial sized dump truck unloaded black gold all over her driveway. I've been watching her transfer wheelbarrow by wheelbarrow of the most fine looking garden soil into her veggie patch. Some wives may prefer gifts that glitter, but for me a load of black dirt would be heaven.

DS14 has finished reading The Stand and now he's considering whether to read another mega novel or try a regular size book. DH thinks it may be better to keep track of pages read rather than number of books because Jake keeps choosing to read 1000+ page novels.

I better get going. We have homeschool posse this afternoon.

Another Babble (Blogger's Block)

Why is it, when I have my turn on the computer, I can't organize my thoughts and make note of the blog worthy events that have transpired in my life?

Phone's been ringing and DH's had more interviews but no offers yet. I don't know how much more unemployment twilight zone I can take. It seems like we're heading in a direction, but I don't know which direction that is.

I beat back my cold virus. I was grateful what could have been 10 days was only 2.

I'm back on the Wii, but haven't attempted to throw air punches. My boxing injury did take over 2 weeks to go away. My latest favorite is the virtual biking around the Wii Island, trying to find the flags.

Except for figuring out how to fix our snow thrower, I haven't had time to flex my autodidact muscle and that has to change soon. I have to work on organizing my time better. I've been too busy trying to steer the raft through the rapids. I haven't had a chance to enjoy any scenery.

I need to seek out inspiration. I'm suffering from a lack of exposure to nature and art.

Time's up. The Sleepyhouse is awake and its time to put on my Mancake apron.  I think I'll add blueberries and cranberries to my Womancake.

Have a great weekend!

Random Babbling....

Can you crave smells? Right now I want to smell candles that have been snuffed out. Is that strange?

I've read recently when it comes to heart disease, not drinking enough water is as damaging as smoking. Teas and other beverages don't count. It has to be plain water. Guess what's always going to be within my reach now?  I'm hoping to become a chain water drinker.

We're under a severe winter weather warning for tomorrow. We could end up with 11 inches of blowing, drifting snow. You would know it, DH has an interview tomorrow, and I'm suppose to work at the pool. I need spring soon.

I decided to try Wii Gold's Gym Cardio while jumping on the mini trampoline, (re-bounder). My legs now hate me, but I keep telling them Capri weather will come back soon. It will all be worth it. Plus, I did greatly improve my jump roping count. I think the trampoline helped with my rhythm. I hope I can keep it up.

We watched Whip It before the Superbowl yesterday. Now I want to unpack my long lost roller skates, and tear it up. My children are mortified. I can remember being young and spending virtually all weekend on those skates. My dad bought them for me because I saved him the cost of a hotel, agreeing to drive 12 straight hours home instead.

Why does Netflix mail travel so quickly but it takes several days to send a letter? Does Netflix pay the USPS more? Don't get me wrong. I think its awesome we're saving over $80 on our cable bill and still able to watch all these movies. I'm a complete Netflix convert.

Wish there was a Bookflix. Or would that be "Netboox"?

DH is going to call soon and tell me he's on the way home. This means I'm going to have to figure something out for supper. Hope I can sell everyone on leftovers.

Wednesday's Ramble Into Unschooling Thoughts...

I'm trying not to freak out. DH is away doing a favor for his old boss and of course, a potential job lead calls. Oh, the irony. It is impossible for DH to call this recruiter back because he is currently sitting just feet away from Mr. Ex-Boss. I have this sinking feeling DH will miss out on an opportunity because he is trying to help bring work back to his old employer. I told him the first chance he gets, break away to return that call!

I came down with a nasty headache last night on my drive home from work. I tried to sleep it off, but by 3:30am it was so painful, I couldn't sleep. I took a few Advil and calmed my meningitis fears. A local college student lost their battle with meningitis, and because I work with so many college kids and being in a lack of sleep state, I worried irrationally that I may have contracted meningitis.

This morning I woke with a duller ache and a more rational thought. I'VE BEEN STRESSED OUT- ITS NOT MENINGITIS!! I don't normally get headaches or even sick for that matter, but with all the stress I've been under, this is perfectly normal. I need to focus on taking better care of myself.

I asked the boys to start thinking of something they could do that would produce tangible evidence of their learning. (Will I be forever deschooling myself?) I didn't care what they did, but I just felt like we needed something to show that unschooling does indeed work. (Again, I'm sure this is because I've been stressed.)

DS14 decided he would like to produce videos. At first he asked for a new camera, but I reminded him we're in unemployment survival mode. There's no room in the budget, work with what we've got. He impressed me with his resourcefulness. He found a computer program I didn't realize we even had, and he taught himself how to use it. He now has a few short clips under his belt, and he's asking for permission to post them on Youtube. Unschooling does work.

You may already realize the unschooling benefits, but forgive me for wanting to point a few out. (Like everything in my blog posts, its mostly for my benefit.)

1. What he wanted couldn't be given to him. He had to go and get it for himself. (motivation)

2. He taught himself a new computer program without anyone's help. (creative thinking)

3. He enjoyed the work he put in to the project. (satisfaction and confidence)

4. He used his sense of humor along with his intelligence. (joy)

5. He has a desire to share his work with others. (community)

6. He wants to produce more, even bigger and better. (continued growth)

Its not difficult for me to see the future benefit of "playing" around making video clips either. If he doesn't end up in movies or television, he could have a future in advertising, archiving, or technology. This could branch out in any direction he wants to take it.

As for DS11, his fascination with Canada took him to a place I didn't expect. I knew coming off of watching the Winter X Games, he had his mind on the winter Olympics. I thought he would be more interested in learning about Vancouver, but one of his first bits of information he shared, "Mom, We need $10,000 if our family wants good seats at the opening ceremony. If we're going to watch Shaun White, we'll need another $3000." He's also figured out its going to take us over 33 hours to drive there. (He doesn't want to fly in airplanes because they crash.)

I had to remind him as well, we're in unemployment survival mode. He said its okay if we just watch the Olympics on TV.

So does this mean DS11 is headed towards a career in financial planning, accounting, travel agent, chauffeur, airline safety expert? Who knows. The point is to focus on how their interests will lead them to possibilities you may not expect. This is how I need to deschool myself. My job is to help them realize they have all the power if they want to claim it. Its not about meeting the expectation of others, but about exceeding the expectations of yourself.
  

Just a few things I want to make note of...

The roller coaster is still going. I've told the Big Guy I'm ready for this ride to stop, but apparently, that's not His plan. I have forgotten what normal feels like. DH mentioned to me this is the longest he's ever gone without working since he was 13. Its breaking my heart to see him so down. You have to understand, he has a strong work ethic and its killing him not being able to provide for his family.

Awkward moment - I spoke personally with DH's Ex-boss. He called looking for DH, who ironically was on his way to meet with Mr. Ex-Boss. "I feel really bad. I want you to know I'm doing everything I can for you guys and hoping work will come back soon." I know for a fact this is bogus, yet I had to thank the man. Its not my place to throw a match onto that bridge.

Onto some good stuff- DS11 told me the other night, "I want to be better friends with Jakob," (his older brother.)

"Why? Are you guys fighting?"

"No, I just want us to be better friends."  Awwww!!! We talked about what makes a good friend and he decided he would try to be a better friend himself.

My neighbor friend has shared wonderful news with me. Her cancer is shrinking!! Her doctor diagnosed her with 4th stage lunch cancer and gave her a 1% survival chance last October. She decided to declare war on her cancer and attacked it back with lots of prayer, healthy living and chemo. I'm going to continue to pray for her healing.

LOL!!! I just proofed that last paragraph and saw I had typed "lunch" not lung. I'm leaving it in because I need a good laugh!

Tonight DH & I are planning on going to see our nephew's band, 7th Sign, perform. Its a bit more hard core metal than I'm used to, but its my nephew. I want to see the look on my sister's face when her baby drops an F bomb into the microphone.

I think we'll stay home this weekend too. We were tempted to take a road trip to K-town, but we want to get our taxes done. I'm hoping there's some refund dollars we can add to our account to help get us a little further.

We knew we had to do it, and when this last bill came, we were pushed into action. We cancelled some of our cable services. We're giving up movie channels along with my beloved BBC America. Evil Charter cable had raised our bill to $232.00 a month.  We have to keep the internet going. Its a must for job searching and home schooling, and we have to keep the phone service. We live in an area where we don't always get cell phone coverage and every outgoing call is considered long distance. We can give up HBO, Showtime, etc. and cut almost $80 off our monthly bill.

We're going to try Net Flix. For around $9 a month, we can have unlimited streaming of movies to our PS3 and soon our Wii. Supposably you can stream into 6 different sources, which should be more than enough for us. The first month is free, so we'll see how it works.

We know we can watch stuff on Hulu.com as well, but for the most part, we realize we watch mostly movies, play games and read books and magazines for entertainment. I'll learn to live without my BBC fun.

We're tempted to try Magic Jack for our phone, but I've heard mixed reviews. I've heard the connection isn't always that great and there are dropped calls.

I better stop babbling and get moving. My water glass is empty and the rest of the Sleepyhouse is finally starting to wake up.

 

Feeling Optimistic

Today was better. My work went smoothly, with more businesses agreeing to display our pool brochures. Wednesday I had about a 50% rejection rate, but for some reason, it went much better today. Maybe it was a better part of town? (Less snooty.) DS14 is still embarrassed I've got the pool car parked in the driveway. I'll have to take a photo to show you tomorrow morning. Its a Volkswagen bug that has been wrapped with photos from our pool. My boss' adorable son in on the back window. Its an attention grabber, but that's the whole idea.

I came home tired, but it was good to be with family again. We had Mancakes for lunch and played games and watched scary movies all afternoon.

DH has more job leads, so I'm praying soon something works out. He went to a networking cocktail party, even though he doesn't drink. He made a few connections but an awkward moment happened as he was trying to leave the party. His inebriated ex-boss asked him, "So, is Dawn pissed at me." He thought for a moment about just lying, but for some reason out of his mouth came the truth.

I felt badly. DH said his ex-boss looked like he was going to break down. Maybe it was the alcohol, but I still felt bad that I had that effect on someone. I'm really hoping Sean can find work and we can put this all behind us. I'll even invite the ex-boss over for supper, once we can afford it!

Tonight we made home made pizza. We're getting more used to cooking and eating all of our meals at home, but I think the boys are starting to miss dining out. We used to get take out twice a week and go out for one sit down restaurant meal a week. Funny thing is, I'm not missing it. The only thing I'm looking forward to again is being able to buy what we want at the grocery store without worrying about it.

I don't mind cooking. In fact I'm excited that next Sunday, DH and I have a "date" to try and make real biscuits together. I'm talking the flaky, shortening kind! Sure they won't be healthy, but we need a treat every now and then, and they'll go great with a Sunday chicken supper. I'd bake them up this Sunday, but I'll be working. I have to put in the time if they have it for me.

Sunday at work we're having a Halloween pool party. I'm thinking of dressing up as Mother Nature. I can't be anything scary because we have little guys that come to the pool. I'm thinking the first half of the party will be crowded. We have over 110 kids signed up for swimming events. Come 3:00pm though, it could clear out. Sunday is the big game in Wisconsin. Packers versus the Farve Vikings. As for me, I'm a Bear's fan. :)

Tomorrow I'm going to sleep in. Although I enjoy working the opening shift because I get so much done, its so dark in the mornings. I don't want to think about what it will be like to get up when its COLD and dark.

I'm looking forward to the boys enjoying dressing up and trick or treating. We have a great neighborhood for it. Afterward, we'll watch scary movies including, Attack Of The Mushroom People! I love cheesy horror!

We're blessed because DMIL will join us. I'm also excited because she is bringing a new to us vacuum cleaner! Ours has been broken for two weeks now. Who would have thought I'd be looking forward to being able to vacuum the floor!

Its life's little blessings that are sustaining me these days. I still have moments, but overall, things feel more positive.  I just hope we can keep this going and bring prosperity rather than worry.

Wednesday Thoughts

My parents headed back to Minnesota this morning. Why did they leave those evil cookies?!

I'm sure I'll want a nap later, but getting up early really does help you get a jump on the day. I struggled last night at work to complete a project, but there were too many interruptions. What I couldn't accomplish in 5 hours, I completed in 1 just because I was left alone. Working at home can be much more productive.

The boys are very close to reaching their financial goal in order to make their secret purchase. They've been working extra chores. Next step, deciding whether to keep this purchase a secret or reveal it. I think they feel misunderstood and judged. Or it could be they don't want to hurt someone's feelings.

Date night is only a few days away! DH is taking me to see Alice In Chains. I'm not a huge fan, but its a concert, and I'll have the chance to let my hair down. Plus its time spent with DH!

I was thinking of painting our front door. It really needs it. I thought about choosing a color other than white, but on the other hand, if I paint the door dark, it will absorb heat in the summer and make the living room hot. I will probably end up just painting it white again.

DS10 has decided he doesn't have to be a hamburger for Halloween. I told him the foam was on the expensive side, and I wasn't sure how I could sew and stuff a costume to resemble the burger costumes he sees in the Burger King commercials.

His latest idea is to be a doughnut. I'm trying to wrap my head around how I can design that costume. I'm wondering if I could sew a slip cover of sorts for an inflatable inner tube? I'll have to sketch it out. I do like the cop/doughnut idea, like the photo I found at an online costume shop.

I better get moving. DS10 is up and eyeballing the computer. I've been sitting here too long!

Trying to grab the reins...

My dreams are trying to warn me. I've been saying yes a little too often. I was busy, busy, busy and when I woke up for real, I had that feeling like I was forgetting something. I can't help it. I do like to stay engaged in life, and my body can't keep up with my brain. There are just so many things I want to do and learn about.

DH took the boys out to drive golf balls. It was their first lesson and they had a great time. Now we have to look for better used clubs. The ancient ones we have will not hold up and if fact, one of them shattered to pieces as DS13 hit the ball. I bet that made it more enjoyable actually. DH said the range was empty except for one other man, so they practically had the place to themselves. They are going to try and make this a regular "boys' night" activity.

I'm jealous. I want to learn to golf too. Of course I also want to learn more about permaculture, immunology, glycemic index and metabolism, cultivating yellow watermelon, peach trees, stone mosaics, recipes for Nutella, Pilates, and networking printers... to name a few. Not enough hours in the day to satisfy this autodidact.

Somewhere in all of this I have to factor in housework, but lately, I've discovered its easier to walk away- literally. I've been going for hour long strolls. My new walking shoes are definitely broken in and you know, I feel no guilt leaving the vacuuming undone. Its better for my health right if I walk instead of clean house?

I'm sure at some point this will be debatable, but isn't this how it usually goes? We are busy enjoying living and learning, and the house cleaning gets pushed to the breaking point. Or you have company coming and you're forced to drop it all and pull out the dust rags. Either way, its not wrong to wait for that motivation. Life has priorities and dust bunnies will hang around and wait for you.  

This fresh, perfect air, cool summer breezes and sunshine will not stick around. We have to get out and enjoy it when we can.

Random Thoughts On A Stormy Morning

Scary nightmare this morning! Glad the thunderstorm woke me up early.

Praying MIL makes it home safe.

Who brought that evil Pecan Kringle into the house?

Is there crack in Kringle?

I'm excited about my "errand" date with DH. We are going to his work so I can help him on a project he's designing, making a stop at Cosco and then grabbing popcorn. Its not what you do, but who you do it with!

The more I walk, the more I want to keep walking. Came across an inspiring story of a woman who went from barely being able to walk half a mile to jogging in marathons within 2 years. She didn't change what she ate, but still dropped almost 100 pounds.

When you are used to sewing on a machine made in the early 60's and you have the chance to sew on a machine made within the last decade, you learn to love sewing again!

Hoping DH's entry wins that $9000 machine at the fabric store!

Of course it would be strange having a sewing machine that's worth more than the car I drive.

Found it interesting in the book the Stand, the government tells the people not to worry. Its not like this flu is "Swine Flu."  Could we not have chosen a better book to read right now?!

Think I'll make brownies for our gaming guests tonight.

Wish we had a rain barrel.

I need to research light speed, wartime death tolls and wildebeest. 

Better jump in the shower and get this day started.



 

Need More Monday....

I'm enjoying this day too much and it needs to be longer.

Accidentally bought another Father's Day shirt for the dad in law.

When will I learn to use my cell phone to call DH and check before I buy things?

I found both a large & small Pampered Chef micro cooker at Goodwill for $1 each! To buy these from Pampered Chef would cost over $18. Score! They are fantastic for quick steaming veggies in the microwave.

Picked up the primer but once again, was over whelmed by paint color choices. I probably won't know what color to use until the day I paint.

Thunderstorms rolling through in between bouts of sunshine.  Windy, cloudy, sunny, cool, I love it!

Rabbit fence is around the SFG. Thinned out the Romas & lettuce. Wishing we could find some basil and oregano to plant. I'd love a "pizza" garden.

Moved junk off of a shelving unit in the basement, and the boys and I moved it into their room. What a different storage makes! You can actually walk in there now. Can't say the same for the basement storage area.

Supper is half way done. Only need to make tortillas and rice.

Tea break is now over.

Let the day filling continue.