Just Get Me To The Weekend Please....

I'm officially riding the current now. The wind has left my sails.

Although it was great to see family at my uncle's funeral service, I know it was a very difficult day for many of them, saying goodbye.

I'm thinking about writing my own obituary. My uncle's pastor was newer to their church and although she did her best, listening to her I realized I want to write my own obituary so it includes more of a goodbye message to my loved ones. My obituary is also my last chance for ME to say who I was in this world, not necessary what others may have thought of me.

Of course now I'm thinking, why does my obituary have to be my defining moment? Shouldn't I be living my life right now in a way that everyone can see who I am and what they mean to me?

I'm coming away from my uncle's funeral realizing if I haven't already shared my love, my beliefs, my passions, my talents and laughter with the world before I leave, then I haven't really lived. If I can't leave my loved ones with an abundance of happy memories, no obituary, no funeral service, will ease their loss and help them remember who I really was.

I hope in the days to come, I can find my groove and get back to living my life with a celebratory spirit. Right now I do know its my husband and my children that create that spark in me when I'm feeling fizzled out. They are the inspiration that fuels my dreams. If I can make it to the weekend, spending time with them will recharge me.

How Can It Be October already?

Life seems to be moving too fast. Maybe its everything on my plate, but another part of me wonders, is the earth spinning around the sun faster? How would we know if the entire universe sped up?

When I ponder these questions, I also realize I can look back at my past and feel those memories were created so long ago, yet also close by as well. I can feel an eternal connection, but also the movement of time forward gives me the dizzies from time to time.

Its about time management and prioritizing. Some days though, I have to give these tasks up and just go with the flow. It was once explained to me, I prefer to ride the raft, not cling to the sides of the bank. I was also told though, my river runs deep.

I suppose I should then realize, deep waters mean less rapids! So why does it feel right now, like I'm about to be thrown from the boat? Maybe its time to dig my paddle in and find those deeper waters?

This blog post was a good place to start, don't you think?:)