Yesterday, after we left our home school posse, I made the comment out loud, "I wish I didn't have to go to work." DS14 responded, "Mom, of course you don't. Who does?!"
I felt awful. What a terrible example I've been. Its not that my job sucks. It's actually great. Its just the fact, it pulls me away from family more often than I'd like, especially these past several weeks as we try to survive the layoff.
I don't want my children to believe work is something you can't enjoy doing. I need to watch my tongue and instead say things like, "I wish I didn't have to leave and end the fun we're having."
DS10 said, "Mom, why don't you find a job where we can all be together?"
I really wish I could figure that one out. I would love to have a family business with my DH. I just have no idea what we could do.
Its been a challenge trying to keep my chin up. I ask DH what can I do to help him with his depression, but he says there's nothing I can do. He's going to feel this way until he can find a job.
So as the autumn to winter darkness begins to consume more of the daylight, it feels like the same thing is happening in our Sleepyhouse. I can't seem to do anything to make things better, no matter how hard I try.
I want the light to return. I need the light to return. I can't understand why I can't have control of this. I can't understand the timing. I need to see those I love find joy. It is impossible for me to do so, unless they are there with me.
7 comments:
My hubby is really loving all the time he's getting to spend with us since he hasn't been getting hours at his 2nd job. When he works 2 jobs we hardly get to see him. He wishes he could get a job that he could work at home too but we can't come up any ideas for it either.
I know it's hard to keep positive. The stupid time change doesn't help either. It gets dark way too early. Just take it one day at a time. Hopefully your hubby will find a job soon. *hug*
Kids pick up on almost everything but I'm sure they know that you might you would rather continue having a lovely time with them then have to go to work. Don't be so hard on yourself Dawn, just take each day as it comes and try not to over think it.
((Hugs)) I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now but I'm glad you're blogging these feelings. When you look back on this hopefully you'll be able to see God's hand upon you.
{{hugs}}} I'm sorry Dawn. I was really hoping your husband could do some work as an independent contractor.Maybe something will come up and you guys can work together as a family. I hope so anyway. :o)
(((DAWN))) Wish I could do that in person! I am so sorry you and your family are experiencing this dark, down time. I agree with our other friends here, though. It is good that you are blogging about it - you do have a support group with us! And one day, when you do look back on this time, you will see God's hand in this. I know that the best thing we can do when faced with troubles is to stay positive and keep adjusting the attitude button - hard as it is at times. It is important for your soul and for those around you to keep sending positive vibes that others can pick up on and refresh with. All the old cliches really do apply... when one door opens, and etc. Hang in there and know that we are here to listen! Peace!
Hugs! I wish I could say something to really make things better. I will say focus on what you do have...terrific kids and a wonderful husband....afterall, that's whats most important (but you already know that)
Hugs to you and I know how you are feeling. I want to help Jeremi with what he's dealing with also but it's been so hard on him not having work. He feels like he's not being the support of our family! I know he's trying and he's going to school but it's so hard on him and I know your husband too!!! Big hugs to you!!!! I can so relate to how your feeling!!! I want that light and joy to return also!!! I'll be praying my friend !Hugs to you!!
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