The news is out where it needs to go, so close loved ones won't have to read it here and be shocked. Funny how DH asked me ,"Did you Facebook the news yet?" No! I can show restraint! On Thursday, DH was given his paycheck with the words, "Here's your paycheck. Its probably the last one I can give you for awhile."
Its very strange. His boss has run out of money for the company. This would mean a lay off right? Well, the boss also said there is a slim chance the client they are working for right now, may be able to "pick up your salaries." So is he laid off or isn't he? The reality is, they have all this work completed, and more they could do, but the clients are not paying their bills.
I'm very frightened. DH is the main bread winner. I only work part time. I know this is happening all over the country, and we're not the only family going through this, but I can't shake the depression I'm feeling.
Added to this stress, I've been betrayed by a close family member. When you say to someone, "Out of all our family, you're the only one I can tell this to because I know you understand and won't criticize me like the rest of our family would," you would think this means, its a secret, don't tell anyone! Well, she blabbed and what I feared would happen, did indeed happen. So now I'm struggling with having to find forgiveness.
Its not like I was going to keep this secret from the rest of my family forever. I just needed the chance to choose the best timing.
I come from this anti-emotional family, that believes picking on you is a sign of affection. I'm wired completely the opposite. I will say out loud, "I love you," several times a day. The family I grew up with, never uses these words with each other. Out of all my siblings, there was one who could understand me, and now I'm pissed off and feeling betrayed by her.
I thank God I have my husband, my children and my mother in law.
Of course the Christian Universalist in me knows, we are all bound together. Friends or enemies, we have no choice but to spend all eternity together. This is why God tells us to forgive all, and the greatest commandment is to love all.
I know no one is perfect and all of humankind has the potential to fail you. People are broken. They can try their best, but its never going to be good enough. So I need to forgive everyone, love everyone and realize there really is only one I can turn to who won't fail me, God. And because he loves everyone, he isn't going to choose sides. I have to get over this sibling rivalry and remember, one day, I will have to sit next to the person who wronged me. If I don't forgive them and love them unconditionally, how will I have peace?
I may feel like the world is crapping down on me, but I can open up an umbrella. I'll use life's accessories, (blessings), to get me through this storm.
10 comments:
So sorry to hear about your husband. I was just wondering the other day how the health insurance issue was going for you.... I guess not well based on what has happened. Hopefully some of the clients may be willing to contract with your husband directly to get their projects finished. It sounds like a very awkward situation to say the least. You're strong. You'll find a solution that works.
So sorry to hear your husband's job. I can relate. My hubby has had his hours cut at his one job + hasn't had any hours at his other job for a few weeks. I don't know what we're gonna do. It's scary. Hopefully that client will come through for you. *Hugs*
I'm sorry to hear what happened. I know what your going through as I was let go from my job not to long ago and even though its not because of my job performance but all that's happening I was still devastated. You have to be strong for your husband and family. I also understand what you mean about waiting to tell others till the timing is right. Sometimes you just want to deal with it on your own before letting others know, sorry you didn't get that. Just keep in mind, when one door closes another opens. You'll find a way to make it all okay.
I'm sorry to hear your news. I have added this to my prayer list. You are so right to keep the faith and be strong in that faith. I imagine we all have family situations - I know I do with my youngest sister - that make forgiveness and trust difficult. You are an amazing woman with an amazing family. Be strong, be positive and another door will open for you. (((hugs)))
Soirry Dawn.
Jason has been out of work for 7 weeks, I understand.
I am really sad to hear your news but I will keep you in my prayers.
I hope things work out for you, Dawn.
By all your posts I knew something was brewing but I couldn't imagine what, I am so sorry to hear about dh. I hope and pray a new job will come his way soon.
You and your family are strong, you will get through this tough time together
Hugs Across the Miles
{{{hugs}}} Dawn. I am so sorry your family is going through this. :o( My heart goes out to you.
Big hugs! It is a tough time out there for everyone. And, to add betrayal by a family member into the mix certainly doesn't help. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. I know forgiveness isn't easy, but some times it is easier than fostering anger and resentment in your heart. It's definitely healthier. Hugs again.
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