Random Acts Of Kindness Week Begins

Start:

Feb 15, '10

Practice more random acts of kindness this week.

Valentine's Day

Start:

Feb 14, '10

Diva Night!

Start:	Feb 13, '10
Location:	Rockford,IL

Valentine's Diva Night!

Wear Red Day

Start:

Feb 5, '10

For Women's Heart Disease Awareness

1/30/10 Beginning Weekend Notes....

It was crazy cold Friday night, but that didn't stop us. We picked up an early supper of McDonald's for the boys and then left the teenagers at home alone. Along with my sister, DH & I headed into Madison to see my nephew perform with his band, Seven Signs. Its a more crunchy type of metal than I'm used to, but my nephew is really good! We're looking forward to going back and see his band again in a few weeks.

Being back in a bar/nightclub, I realized how much I have missed enjoying live music. Once we're back on our feet, I think DH & I will have to get back to rocking out on a regular basis, even though our favorite band is still without a lead singer.

After we got home, the boys were still up, enjoying having the house to themselves. Together we stayed up and watched Ghost Hunters. I must have been tired because it started to spook me a little. This morning, I now realize how Ghost Hunters fake it and its all acting. I'm so silly when I get tired! :)

As nostalgic I feel realizing my boys are no longer babies, and they need me less each day, I do have to admit, having this extra time to devote to my husband and my personal life feels good. It makes the time we can spend together as a family better.

Just a few things I want to make note of...

The roller coaster is still going. I've told the Big Guy I'm ready for this ride to stop, but apparently, that's not His plan. I have forgotten what normal feels like. DH mentioned to me this is the longest he's ever gone without working since he was 13. Its breaking my heart to see him so down. You have to understand, he has a strong work ethic and its killing him not being able to provide for his family.

Awkward moment - I spoke personally with DH's Ex-boss. He called looking for DH, who ironically was on his way to meet with Mr. Ex-Boss. "I feel really bad. I want you to know I'm doing everything I can for you guys and hoping work will come back soon." I know for a fact this is bogus, yet I had to thank the man. Its not my place to throw a match onto that bridge.

Onto some good stuff- DS11 told me the other night, "I want to be better friends with Jakob," (his older brother.)

"Why? Are you guys fighting?"

"No, I just want us to be better friends."  Awwww!!! We talked about what makes a good friend and he decided he would try to be a better friend himself.

My neighbor friend has shared wonderful news with me. Her cancer is shrinking!! Her doctor diagnosed her with 4th stage lunch cancer and gave her a 1% survival chance last October. She decided to declare war on her cancer and attacked it back with lots of prayer, healthy living and chemo. I'm going to continue to pray for her healing.

LOL!!! I just proofed that last paragraph and saw I had typed "lunch" not lung. I'm leaving it in because I need a good laugh!

Tonight DH & I are planning on going to see our nephew's band, 7th Sign, perform. Its a bit more hard core metal than I'm used to, but its my nephew. I want to see the look on my sister's face when her baby drops an F bomb into the microphone.

I think we'll stay home this weekend too. We were tempted to take a road trip to K-town, but we want to get our taxes done. I'm hoping there's some refund dollars we can add to our account to help get us a little further.

We knew we had to do it, and when this last bill came, we were pushed into action. We cancelled some of our cable services. We're giving up movie channels along with my beloved BBC America. Evil Charter cable had raised our bill to $232.00 a month.  We have to keep the internet going. Its a must for job searching and home schooling, and we have to keep the phone service. We live in an area where we don't always get cell phone coverage and every outgoing call is considered long distance. We can give up HBO, Showtime, etc. and cut almost $80 off our monthly bill.

We're going to try Net Flix. For around $9 a month, we can have unlimited streaming of movies to our PS3 and soon our Wii. Supposably you can stream into 6 different sources, which should be more than enough for us. The first month is free, so we'll see how it works.

We know we can watch stuff on Hulu.com as well, but for the most part, we realize we watch mostly movies, play games and read books and magazines for entertainment. I'll learn to live without my BBC fun.

We're tempted to try Magic Jack for our phone, but I've heard mixed reviews. I've heard the connection isn't always that great and there are dropped calls.

I better stop babbling and get moving. My water glass is empty and the rest of the Sleepyhouse is finally starting to wake up.

 

"Self-knowledge helps release you from fear."- Norman Vincent Peale.~My unschooling heart knows this!

Reading Norman Vincent Peale's You Can If You Think You Can. I need the pick up.

"Best Sleep Over Yet..."

After all these years, I have the recipe down perfect. Deliver pizza, soda, video games, cake and morning cinnamon rolls to the Man Cave, invite over the posse crew and birthday parties are easy.

I just can't believe my baby is now 11. Where has the time gone?

The Great Backyard Bird Count

Start:	Feb 12, '10
End:	Feb 15, '10
Location:	http://www.birdsource.org/gbbc/

Count birds for 15 minutes and help the Great Backyard Bird Count
http://www.birdsource.org/gbbc/

Avatar was entertaining enough. I won't punch holes, even though I could. If you do plan on seeing it, I recommend 3D.

Fridays Are Fresh Days...1/22/10

I'm so glad Friday is here and the weekend can begin. Not being scheduled to work on Fridays anymore has really made a difference in my stress level. I have this one extra day to catch up on all we've missed during the week before the weekend begins.

The cut in hours does mean my paycheck is smaller, but I have to trust God will help it all work out. We may have to begin dipping into savings, but that tax refund is just around the corner and that will help us buy more time until DH can find work.

The news on the broken car- it was a stuck caliber and brake work. Bad news is that means $400, although I'm grateful it wasn't a transmission problem. I was thinking it was going to be thousands, so the $400 hurts much less.

Today we're using our movie gift certificates we received from DMIL at Christmas to see Avatar in 3D. Going to a movie on a Friday, in the middle of the day feels like playing hooky! It's going to be great, even if the movie isn't.

Tomorrow we'll have the birthday sleep over. 7 young men in the Mancave, eating pizza, drinking soda, staying up all night playing video games. My only responsibility- make homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast the next morning.

Sunday our neighbors across the street are having us over for supper and football. I'm looking forward to garden planning with my mentor as well. My neighbor friend is a long time master gardener and with her guidance, I have decided to chop up most of our lawns to grow more organic veggies. 

Monday DS10 turns DS11. I do have to work that morning, and we have an appointment in the afternoon, but we're hoping to still take him out for supper in honor of his official day. Last night DH & I already began reminiscing about how quickly our son has grown. I think I'm going to have to pull out the baby pictures and get that scanning project going.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Thursday 13 - Broken

13 Broken Things I Wish We Had The Money To Fix

1. My Vibe- :(  It started making a loud noise when I go over 55mph - thought it was the muffler but as I parked tonight, it made another awful noise and now I'm worried it has something to do with an expensive transmission.

2. Water softener - Noticing our water seemed a little on the hard side, I reminded DH to add salt to the softener. We discovered it was still full of salt even though we haven't added any in months. Now that we think about it, we can't remember hearing it run for quite awhile, but we did have it set to recycle at 3:00am.

3. The exhaust fan in the boys' bathroom is not working at all

4. The exhaust fan in our bathroom is broken too. It runs, but makes an awful racket.

5. Trying to plug Christmas lights into an outlet in the dark, I pushed too hard on a polarized plug and broke the outlet. It still works, but there is no resistance when you insert a plug. That can't be good.

6. Our teeth - I could use a few crowns and DS soon to be 11, needs braces

7. The recessed light over my kitchen sink. It would be much more pleasant to see how clean my dishes can be.

8. My camera.  The USB port no longer works and lately its taking cruddy photos.

9. The graphics card needs replacing on the downstairs computer.

10. The internal cooling fan is broken on that computer too.

11. All inside doors in our house do not close or open well at all.

12. No real lock on the boys' bathroom door. We busted it years ago when DS fell in the shower and we feared he had a head injury. Our improvised lock is just a hook, since we have to replace the entire door frame now.

13. MY OUTLOOK!!  The financial strain we're under is taking a huge toll on me. I'll go to bed now and hopefully things will look brighter in the morning. 

Looks like this day is going to require a little more effort to make it a good one, but I'm up for the challenge.

Our Weekend Update...(3rd in 2010)

Weekend lunch date with DH was sweet. Thanks to a coupon, it only cost us around $10 and we had plenty of leftovers to munch on for supper. We ordered our usual- pesto cavatappi for me and buttered noodles with shrimp for DH. 

We decided to move the computer desk in the Mancave, but that meant we had to complete two giant clean up projects first. One of which was moving our home school storage lockers. Years ago, DMIL bought us a set of lockers from a university surplus store. They are amazingly deep and hold tons of stuff, and when I say tons, I really mean tons.

We had to go through 18 lockers full of almost 10 plus years of homeschooling resources. It was an exericse in homeschooling anthropolgy. I uncovered evidence of the early days when I thought we needed packaged curriculum, to the more current favorites of unschooling magazines and art projects.  Now I have a box of stuff to donate and a box of stuff to try and re-sell. Would we be true home schoolers if we didn't have a little bit of purchase regret? We all do it! It took me a few years to realize I didn't have to shop the curriculum fair at the yearly home schooling conference.

Now that the computer desk is moved, we have more room for more bodies in the man cave. We are preparing for this coming Saturday's gaming sleep over, in honor of DS10's, coming 11th birthday. I discovered we have a few air mattresses we can inflate, not that anyone will be sleeping on them.

I just hope my clutz curse if over by then. For some reason, I've been injuring myself in stupid ways. Reaching for the soap in the shower, I drove my fingernail into my razor, slicing through the nail and into the nail bed. Now I keep catching it on everything. I can't wait for it to grow out, but everytime it catches on something, it rips down a little further. Keeping a bandage on it is not an option for me because I can't stand not washing my hands and wet bandaids gross me out!

Movie wise we discovered a few weeks ago we have the RTV channel, which I think stands for Retro TV. We now look forward to watching cheesy monster movies on Wolfman Mac's Chiller Drive In Theatre. We also discovered we get the "THIS" channel and this weekend they had on Killer Klowns In Outer Space with extra scenes! This is one of our favorite cheesy scary movies. On Sunday night we introduced the boys to another Alfred Hitchcock classic on BBC America, Vertigo. The boys did not see the twist coming at all. Last week we introduced them to The Birds.

Weather wise it never really got up to the 37 F they promised, but we did have freezing fog, which is breathtaking. I really wish I had a decent camera. All the trees and surfaces had frozen ice crystals growing on them. Our world looked like it was covered in powdered sugar.

The warmer weather is bringing stray cats back to our yard. Every night Yumi gives us heart attacks when she begins to yowl at the window. The past two nights we noticed it wasn't any old Tom cat, but Mojo from last year!

Mojo is the cat we tried to take in last year at this time, and after constantly trying to escape out the door, he was successful. We lost sight of him, but he must have a home somewhere in the neighborhood, and this was why he kept trying to get out.

Yumi was not happy to see him though. They have a boxing match through the glass door every time he comes to say hello.

DH & I are heading out on a lunch date today. We received a buy one get one coupon for Noodles! Can't pass that up! We have to try and find something for DS10- soon to be 11- 's birthday. We're at a loss. He only wants one thing. He did this at Christmas too, not giving us a list with options.

I'm grateful its warming up around here. Its crazy how good 33 F feels after going through below zero's. I know we have plenty of winter left, but I'm going to really enjoy this week of warming.

Free-Ed.Net

http://www.free-ed.net/free-ed/
Free online courses

Heading to the Social Security Office hoping for no lines and a quick result. Bringing my sense of humor just in case!!

Anyone Know How To Get Blood Out?

Getting ready for work at 5:00am, I walk into the kitchen and find Yumi sitting innocently, staring up at me. Directly in front of her is a little, although chunky, ball of shivering fur.

"Get it Yumi!! GET IT!" She still just stares at me.

I'm afraid to move for fear the critter will sprint. I call out to DH & DS. The three of us stare down waiting for either Yumi to pounce or this mouse to run. Yumi casually walks around the mouse to where her treats are kept. 

"Aren't you going to feed me?"

I'm amazed the mouse doesn't run. DH grabs a towel and throws it over the poor thing. It still doesn't run. He carries it outside. Its shaking but still doesn't try to get away. I head off to work hoping the critter will eventually scamper away.

I come home at lunch and to my dismay, there is now a frozen mousicle in my front yard.

In the daylight, we could now see the blood on the carpet. Yumi must have had a good old time with that poor mouse before we even got up. No wonder she just looked at me, wanting her breakfast. She had her taste of mouse sushi and decided she'd wait for dry kibble instead.

I'm hoping this is the same mouse we saw last fall. One morning I had gotten up to discover little beatie eyes staring at me from on top of the curtains. Yumi must have scared the poor thing up the drapes and onto the curtain rod.

DH & I tried to capture it, but it jumped in the wrong direction, falling to the floor. It then scampered across the kitchen floor, and my fat cat couldn't keep up with it. It ran under the stove. We took the stove apart trying to find it, to no avail. We set out a trap with chocolate and peanut butter, but it never took the bait.

On the plus side, I've never seen droppings so "Jerry" must have been living where we couldn't see him, until our "Tom Girl" Yumi found him. I just hope Jerry didn't have roommates, or we'll have to switch to hard flooring. I'm having trouble getting the blood out from the carpet.

We Love Having G-Ma Visit!!

She always brings us Infusino's take and bake pizzas!! They are so yummy!! We can't live in K-town because we would be eating too many of these.

We enjoyed a rather nice visit, and cousins came over with bread sticks too! G-Ma read our tarot cards after we ate.

My reading dealt exactly with what I've been dealing with. It didn't tell me anything I didn't know and it didn't necessarily predict my future, but it gave me hope that if I continue diligently working through my stress, I will come out blessed. I must stay strong, and have faith God is going to see us through this and onto something better.

DH's reading was spot on as well, dealing with his unemployment stress. Plus you could directly see connections between both our readings. It was very cool and cosmic. It affirmed that we have a strong  marriage, but we knew that. :)

We introduced G-Ma to Wii Sports Resort, and she brought back our Wii Fit Plus. I'm looking forward to giving it a try now. Gold's Gym is great, but I need variety or I get bored quickly.

Speaking of boredom, I'm getting cabin fever big time. Its been so bitterly cold, its unhealthy for me to be out in it. We broke down and turned up the heat from 60 F to 64 F. I'm sure I don't want to see our heating bill, but hopefully we'll find a way to pay it.

I'm pouring over garden magazines and catalogs, planning for spring. Our beloved next door neighbor is fighting cancer and together we are planning more organic gardens. I'm ready to go bigger and better, and with her help we will. Together we're both saying we don't care if we have any grass left in our yards! It can all be organic gardens!!

G-Ma also found mad money rolling across a parking lot. She treated us to lottery tickets with it. We dreamed about what we would do if we won.

I personally don't need a big house or furnishings. All I want is land and lots of it!! I would grow, grow, grow everything from veggie gardens, to berry patches, to apple orchards and pumpkin patches. I'd have a Christmas tree forest along with wild land for critters of all shapes and sizes.

I'll have to wait longer for that dream. We only hit a few numbers, but it was enough to buy us lunch!

Can't...get....warm. Too...cold....out... for...humans!!

Rambling, Thinking It Through.....

Crazy night last night, literally. I was such a mixture of emotions. Its unsettling how one moment I can feel calm, cool, collected and the next, my world is falling apart.

I tried to find my balance but by the week's end, I had lost it. Interestingly it was when I had scheduled in free time that it crashed around me. I guess when I don't have to have my game face on, it is safer to let go. I'd rather spend my free time in a happier mood though.

It was the typical "I can't do it all" demon. Wife, mother, worker, within these roles lie so many responsibilities, and each one I want to give my best to. Why is it easier for me to look at what I didn't get done, instead of what I have accomplished?

I do think its better to continually examine myself and question how I can do better, but why do I have to beat myself up in the process?

Today is a new day. I have another chance to get it right.

I'll give you a 5 gallon bucket and a 3 gallon bucket. You can have all the water you need, but nothing else. How can you measure exactly 4 gallons of water into the 5 gallon bucket?

I sipped this cocoa as slowly as I could without it turning cold. Now I guess I have to get dressed and head out into the snow. Sigh........

First Day Back To Reality

I can't say I was looking forward to going back to work after spending two glorious weeks at home, but DH made it a little easier by going out at 4:30am and starting my car for me. We're currently having bitter cold, single Fahrenheit digit temperatures so this small gesture was actually quite huge. He did not have to get out of our warm, cozy love nest to do that for me.

When I got to work, I knew I'd have a pile waiting, and I knew I would not be getting out at my usual time, but all that work did make the time go by quickly. Still, I'm grateful the rest of the week, I'm working closing shifts. Don't let my name fool you. I'm not a morning person.  

It was great coming home to have lunch with my family and after a little digesting, I managed to throw a few punches in Gold's Gym Wii. I've decided now that I'm not working a crazy flip flop schedule anymore, I have no excuse not to exercise.

I did a little more onion research. The layers are really leaves.

I tried to get into Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, but 7 chapters into it, I'm still not hooked. I can't stop comparing Jane's brilliant writing to Mr. Grahame-Smith's, even though I remind myself to have a sense of humor. I'm really hard to please though when it comes to fiction.

I'm hoping I can convince my family to brave the cold this coming weekend and do a little eagle watching. Its about an hour's drive from us, but I need to make a nature connection. I miss our forest hikes. Its easy to hide away indoors when its this cold, but you reach a point where cabin fever starts to make you a little stir crazy. I know watching bald eagles plunge into the river will lift my spirits.

Also on the agenda, I need to take some time and write down goals. I'm working my way through 48 Days To The Work You Love by Dan Miller. (If my boss is reading this- don't panic. I'm mostly reading this book for Sean.)

I've also just finished Secrets Of A Buccaneer Scholar by James Marcus Bach, and I have to say, its made me an even better unschooler. It reaffirmed everything I felt to be true.

Happy New Year!

We stayed in last night, enjoying the nest. The boys had friends over, gaming in the ManCave until supper time. DH & I feasted on pizza while the boys decided to use their free McDonald Value Meal coupons, so everyone was happy. The boys went back to gaming while DH & I became couch potatoes.

They joined us in time to watch Travis Pastrana jump his rally car. Watching daredevils on ESPN on New Year's Eve is becoming a tradition now.

I barely made it to midnight. Took flack for that. We did two countdowns. The first was on Fox I think, and then DH turned on MTV and one minute late, they were replaying the ball drop. I'm surprised there is no local coverage. I can remember growing up around Chicago where WGN always did a countdown.

I'm not making any resolutions, but I am dreaming up plans for 2010. Of course the obvious dream is the end of unemployment/job stress and continuning health improvements, but I'm also focusing on on life's little pleasures. I want to go bigger and better with our garden this spring, along with purging and organizing the Sleepyhouse. I have to get back to some kind of creative outlet.

I know I should avoid endeavors that require money, but I'm really hoping we can start traveling. The boys are at an age now where this would be so great for them. I know we will find a way to make it to my husband's family reunion this July, but there are so many other places I wish we could travel to.

I'll keep praying and we'll see where the Lord takes us. For now, I can count my blessings and stay positive looking forward. Its within our power to make this a Happy New Year.

Happy New Year!! I'm hoping the fresh start brings us prosperity.

What's Stranger This Onion Or The Fact I'm Blogging About It?

I'm easily amazed.

I sliced an onion for our lunch. A few hours later I noticed the half we didn't eat, had something  beginning to stick out. As more time went by, the core began to stick out even further. By the end of the day, it looked like this.

It was fascinating to me. I asked my family why they thought the onion was doing this. They all though it must have to do with pressure and moisture leaving the cut onion.

As I studied it even further, I began to wonder if many onions have two cores like this. How exactly do onions grow?

The layers remind me of tree rings. Can you tell the age of an onion based on its layers? Maybe not in years of course, but what triggers the onion to grow another layer? How does the layer count relate to onion size?

What if I push down on one of these columns? (It stopped "growing" out from the onion.)

Can I make this happen again? I don't recall other onions I've sliced doing this all that often, but have I ever taken the time to notice?

It's beautiful to me, something not commonly seen. It doesn't take much to set my mind sailing. Each question I have leads me to more wondering.

How will learning so much about onions help me? I don't know yet. All I know is onions have engaged my attention for the moment. That's part of the beauty of unschooling. I can become an onion expert for the sole reason of, it satisfies my natural curiosity. My onion obsession is all mine!

An Unschooled Reading Success Story

DS14 recently told me, he likes reading huge novels because, "..it feels like I'm on a journey."

He's there, where I wanted him to be. He reads for pleasure and the bigger the book, the more he enjoys it.

When I was his age, someone would have to force me to read a book by making it a required assignment for school. I couldn't really enjoy reading it either, because of the fact the assignment would always have a timed deadline. I would always be thinking, I have to get through this book, not, what can this book give to me?

My son has discovered the dilemma of book lovers- you don't want to finish reading because then its over, but at the same time, you want to see how the story ends! I think this is one reason why he chooses long stories. When he picks up a plus sized book, he doesn't think, "Ugh, this will take me forever to read." He instead thinks, "YES! This is a story that will last me awhile!"

We don't give him time limits. We've instead given him the freedom to read when he wants to, as much as he wants to. He usually chooses to read when the rest of us go to sleep and the house is quiet, although I've caught him unable to put the book down during other times as well. We usually allow him to sleep until he wakes up, knowing he went to bed after reading late. (Plus I strongly feel teenagers need extra sleep.)

The thing I struggle with now is, I have so many books I wish he would read. Isn't this true for all of us book lovers though?

"So many books, too little time!"

I think I will copy another unschooler friend's idea. She has a bookcase designated for books she hopes her family will read eventually. I need a shelf for myself too. I'm constantly thinking I don't have anything to read, only to discover later, I really did.

For the record, my son did not use any reading curriculum to learn to read. He learned to read because we read to him. Simple as that, I kid you not. He would have been considered a late reader because he didn't start reading on his own until around age 8, but within the year, he was reading chapter books. When he was ready, it happened really fast.

We don't require him to write book reports or test his reading comprehension. Informally, he'll simply share with us what's going on in the story and what he thinks of it. Often we'll read the same book so we can share and discuss it together. Through our discussions, its very apparent his comprehension is strong, and he finds inspiration through reading.

His recent "journey" comment also shows me he's enjoying the whole process, not just the result.

I'm going to keep praying. I don't know where I would be without it!

Christmas Notes....

(The photo is the fresh veggie tray I made for our Christmas gatherings.  I copied the idea from a friend, and it went over very nicely. Wish I still had one to munch on now!)

DMIL spoiled us rotten!! We wouldn't have had such a nice Christmas without her. Unfortunately, she isn't feeling well, and she headed home early. We're hoping and praying she'll feel better soon, and hopefully we'll see her next weekend.

DS10 got the one thing he put on his Christmas list, Modern Warfare 2. G-Ma also got him a t-shirt with the game on it. I'm predicting he'll want to wear nothing else but this t-shirt the next few weeks.

DS14 pretty much got everything on his list as well. Of course they've been spending most of their time in the Man Cave, gaming. I expected this, but DH & I have no energy to do anything else, so for now this works.

Last night DH & I did try out our new family present, Wii Resort. We played Frisbee golf and it was a lot of fun. Of course it doesn't take much energy to flick your wrist. LOL!

Christmas Eve was great, having DH's aunt's family over, along with G-Ma, but I was so tired by the end of the night. I suppose getting up at 4:00am caused that.

Christmas Day was awesome too and with my sister hosting my family's gathering, it was wonderful not having to travel more than 3 blocks away. We're used to having to travel during Christmas in order to be able to see extended family.

I'm glad we've had a couple of days after Christmas to recoup. All the partying has left us feeling run down. I'm giving myself one more day of rest, and then I'll try to get back into a routine.

I will not allow post holiday depression to sneak in. We're grilling burgers, spreading out the beach blanket in the living room and watching cheesy horror movies tonight. I want to remember what summer feels like.

My News Interview

My sister found my news interview on the station's website. If you're interested, I thought I'd post the link here. Once you are on the NBC15 news Morning Show page, scroll along the video titles on the right side of the page and click on "Swim West Interview 12/24."

I want to point out, 10 seconds before the LIVE interview, she leaned over to me and said, "Tell me what this is about. I have no idea."

Apparently no one had told her what to ask me. Days before the interview, the producers sent us questions and we sent back answers. I was prepared for something entirely different!!

My husband thinks it still went well, but I have trouble watching it!! LOL!! My heart still races when I think about it! I feel badly I couldn't get in the information my boss was probably hoping for, but it really wasn't my fault the news lady didn't know the prepared questions.

I thought those of you whom I've never had the chance to meet in person, may like to know what I sound like. :) 

http://www.nbc15.com/morningshow

Merry Christmas!!! Hoping everyone has the chance to share peace, love, health and happiness with their loved ones!

~I'm trying not to freak out about the potential ice storm approaching. I'd rather deal with a foot of snow than a layer of ice. The timing couldn't be worse.

Random Ramble................................

Worked at home today, all day. After months of working 5 days a week, it was wonderful to not have to drive in, yet I kept feeling like I didn't belong at home.

DS10.11 is going crazy with impatience. Christmas can't come fast enough. I'm sure he's waiting for one present in particular, and then we'll never see or hear from him until he decides to eat.

Yumi is having trouble keeping to her diet. She's only allowed 1/2 cup a day because she needs to lose a few kitty pounds. We can't feed her diet food because she's allergic to corn. We feed her a grain free kibble, 1/4 cup in the morning and 1/4 cup at night. For some reason, she's been devouring it so quickly. I don't get it. She's been hunting for more food and we find her in places she shouldn't be.

I made soft ginger reindeer cookies. I noticed one pretzel antler missing and worried it was the cat. Thankfully DS10.11 confessed, and I didn't have to throw the batch away thinking the cat had possibily licked them all!

Better Late than Never Christmas cards should go out tomorrow. I tried to send cards to only loved ones we won't see the next few weeks. (I'll be so glad when survival unemployment mode is over.)

I have to pick up a few last minute gifts tomorrow, and my paycheck. In reserve order.

I can't believe they are forcasting rain for Christmas Eve and snow for Christmas Day. To me that translates to ICE!!

DS14 told me why watches are made with quartz. Turns out the vibrations from quartz have the amazing abilitily to keep accurate time.

Surprised Russell didn't win, yet completely understand why Natalie did. Next season's twist sounds really interesting- Villians vs. Heroes

I really shouldn't wait for the end of the day to drink water, but I get so busy during the day, I forget to drink.

Chocolate covered pretzles had to be invented by a woman. Whoever she was, I thank her immensely!!

I forgot to tell Santa I need chocolate covered cranberries too.

My mind is now wandering in a dangerous chocolate direction. I better go find a better distraction.

Make Love, Not War.....

We've just realized. We have root beer and vanilla ice cream in the Sleepyhouse. Who wants a root beer float?

I Don't Feel Ready Yet...

If my house were clean, I'm sure I'd feel better. I probably will spend the better part of tomorrow cleaning. Its my only day I won't have to work up until Christmas Eve. Tempted by the potential for an increase on my paycheck, I've decided, like a moron, to cover a co-worker's shift on Sunday. Didn't I just tell myself I'd work on better late than never Christmas cards?

Since I began working at the pool, I'm used to taking off the last two weeks while we are in between lesson semesters. It always meant I could relax at the end of the year and enjoy the holidays. This year however, being in unemployment survival mode, I'm choosing to pick up extra shifts through the end of the year. I'll take off Christmas Eve through the weekend, but I've created a pile of projects to keep me busy otherwise.

Of course as we get closer to family arriving, I'm realizing, I shouldn't have agreed to this. I would feel better if I had more time to clean, bake and get into party mode. Although I tend to want to go overboard, so perhaps scaling back my preparation time is a good thing after all. I need to remember I have a house full of men who can help me clean too!

Christmas Eve, I'll be getting up earlier than any human should, and preparing to go on the local news. If you pick up NBC 15 out of Madison, you'll see me being interviewed regarding our family swim food drive. My boss couldn't make it and our marketing person didn't feel comfortable going on camera.

I'm doing it, because frankly, when it comes down to it, I don't care how fat and old I'll look on camera. I just want people to bring food donations for the food pantry!!!  I've come to really understand why so many families have to rely on food pantries.

I'm asking my husband to go with me, and I think the boys should go too because I could then turn the opportunity into a homeschooling "field trip."

"Let's check out a TV station kids!"

I'm sure they are not going to want to get up that early, and plus someone has to stay home and tape it. DH is already predicting it will be the most requested video during our Christmas visits with extended family.

... MUST FOCUS ON THE GREATER GOOD!

... MUST FOCUS ON THE FACT THIS HUMILIATION IS FOR CHARITY...

I probably shouldn't bring my kids because they are already hoping something crazy happens and the clip ends up on You Tube. I could just see them trying to make me laugh off camera or something worse.

I don't need 15 minutes of fame via a viral video. Really, I don't. I'm not going to scream if a lizard jumps on me or puke my guts out. Its going to be a boring lady, who needs a haircut and a little more makeup, talking about how you can swim for free if you bring in two non-perishable food donations.

It's not like its my first time on TV. I was on Bozo's Circus and even got to play Bozo's Buckets! Thankfully VCR's weren't around back then!!

Rosemary White Bean Soup -aka Dawn's Kicking Cancer Out Soup

Description:
I adapted this recipe from the book, What To Eat During Cancer Treatment by the American Cancer Society. I make a batch and shared it with my favorite neighbors. It is really delicious and so easy!

Ingredients:
1 T olive oil
1 onion, chopped
1 carrot, chopped
1 celery stalk, chopped
3-4 garlic cloves, smashed and chopped (I really like garlic.)
4 C no sodium chicken stock
4 cans of Great Northern beans, size 15 oz, rinsed and drained
1-2 t dried Rosemary
pepper to taste

Directions:
In your soup pot, heat the oil. Add the onions, celery and carrots. Add the garlic and chicken stock and 3 cans of beans. Add the Rosemary and a few dashes of pepper. Bring the soup to a boil and then lower the heat and simmer 20 minutes. Puree half of the soup in a blender, and then add it back to the pot with the last can of beans.

I prefer to leave the soup with some veggies and beans intact, for added color and texture, but you could just decide to puree the whole batch of soup if that's what you'd prefer.

I had to get out....

I was beginning to get cabin fever and feeling stuck in a rut. So after my morning shift, I came home, woke the teenager and announced we were all going sledding. It was awesome outside, 34 degrees and romantically foggy.

To my delight, DH joined us and to my amazement, no one got hurt! We had the hill to ourselves, and we all raced down several times.

I discovered a great way to avoid a back injury is to ride down feet first, on your belly. This worked great for me until the sled turned 180 degrees, and I ended up going down the hill face first! How I avoided a white wash, I don't know.

The sledding turned a bit commando when we discovered it was great fun to throw snowballs at who ever was riding down the hill at the moment. You think it would be easy, but you have to account for speed and distance when you pitch.

After sledding we came home and made snow creatures, using natural materials we could find in the yard. The snow was perfectly packy, yet heavy.

All the fresh air and exercise felt great. Now I think I'll throw some chicken in the crock pot for supper and try and have a relaxing afternoon.

"A child whose life is full of the threat and fear of punishment is locked into babyhood. There is no way for him to grow up, to learn to take responsibility for his life and acts. Most important of all, we should not assume that having to yield to the threat of our superior force is good for the child's character. It ...is never good for anyone's character." - John Holt

Thoughts From My Unschooling Heart....

Fridays are Fresh Days!!!! I can use this weekend to turn things around. I'm hoping it climbs to double digits, and then we can start to enjoy all this snow we have. I would love to take the boys sledding, build snow forts and snow people. It wasn't fair we got 18 inches of snow followed by single digit temperatures.

I have to reconnect with my family.  Working these extra hours, I feel like I'm missing out. I know they've been supervised by DH, but I have no idea what the boys have been learning. This has been an adjustment for me.  When I was home with them more, I was privileged to share in their daily questioning more. Now Dad is facilitating their way to answers.

As Unschoolers, we don't use lessons plans and assignments. At any given moment inspiration could strike and take them in any direction. If I'm not around, I won't be able to see where they are going. I know DH has been here for them, but now I feel the need to play catch up this weekend.

I think when you decide to unschool, you have to make a commitment to take a huge interest in what interests your children. You have to share the experiences with them, otherwise you won't know what they have learned.

If we did "school" at home, I suppose it would be easy for me, being absent, to use the little time I am around to peek at workbook pages and completed assignments to see progress, but that reality depresses me. I'd rather go directly to my children than rely on any paperwork's interpretation. Notebook paper has no soul.

For now, I should take comfort in the fact DH is home, and this is a blessing. As the boys transition into young men having more access to their father is perfect timing. I need to relinquish my role because they don't need to be "mothered" so much anymore.

I just can't help but feel this last minute panic, "Wait! Don't grow up so fast!! I have more to tell you!!!"

I can't believe its Thursday today. The blizzard seems to have taken away two days from me. It will be great to see our friends, and its wonderful knowing I'm two shifts away from the weekend!

Soft Gingerbread Cookies

Description:
I may have written about this recipe when I made them into reindeer using pretzels and M&M candies, but I wanted to have this recipe where I can easily find it, because its a family favorite around Christmas time.

For more fun, you can shape the dough into ovals and use candy and pretzels to make reindeer, but this year DH requested simple icing and DS14 said circles with M&Ms were fine. We were out of pretzels.

Ingredients:
1 C butter
1 C sugar
2/3 C molasses
2 eggs
2 t baking soda
1 t ginger
1 t nutmeg
4 C flour

M&Ms and icing to decorate

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350F

Cream butter and sugar together. Add molasses. Beat in eggs. Stir together baking soda, ginger, nutmeg and flour. Mix the dry with the wet. Form dough balls and flatten with your hand.

If using M&M's, press into the dough before baking.

Bake for 12-14 minutes

Snowed in and loving it!

Doesn't this cat realize, if she insists on sitting on my lap for warm, I'm going to have to pet her?

All I Want For Christmas...

Tonight during supper, DS10 asked me what I wanted for Christmas. My initial response was to tell him nothing. I have everything I need. I know I said this because I didn't want him to worry about why there will be nothing under the tree for me this year. He did get me thinking though. What do I want for Christmas? A few real good things do come to mind.

1. A job for DH- Because I want him to feel valuable again. Its really starting to take a toll on him emotionally, and my husband is such a great man, he doesn't deserve this.

2. A job for DH - Because unemployment is impossible for a family of 4 to live on.

3. A job for DH - Because I'm worried every time I start to feel sick, or its starting to snow like crazy, I could miss out on work. If I don't work, I don't get paid.

4. A job for DH - Because I have two weeks left, and then my hours will be cut. My boss has been great, but the reality is, she has other staff that also need hours, and the winter session is less busy.

5. A job for DH - Because I want to pay bills on time.

6. A job for DH - Because I really understand now more than ever, how important it is NOT to carry debt.

7. A job for DH- Because house repairs are popping up, and we don't have the money to fix them.

8. A job for DH - Because car repairs are popping up, and we don't have the money to fix them.

9. A job for DH - Because even though that snowman shower curtain was so cute, I can't justify giving up $20 for it.

10. A job for DH - Because warmer footwear for winter would be nice.

11. A job for DH - Because I can't remember the last time I had my haircut.

12. A job for DH - Because I can't cut their hair either! (They still allow me to, but my men deserve to look good.)

13. A job for DH - Because Yumi is over due for her vaccines.

14.  A job for DH - Because I don't want to be nervous my debit card will be declined at the grocery store.

15. A job for DH - Because it will break my heart if we can't afford to travel to the family reunion next summer.

16. A job for DH - Because I miss being able to create art.

17. A job for DH - Because I want to buy pomegranates, and they're over $2 a piece.

18. A job for DH - Because DH hasn't enjoyed his popcorn fix in over 8 weeks.

19. A job for DH - Because I don't want to have to move out of our Sleepyhouse.

20. A job for DH - Because seeing the doctor or dentist is so expensive.

21. A job for DH - Because we're missing out on memories we could be making.

22. A job for DH - Because the ongoing uncertainty is stealing bit by bit, what little joy we can muster up.

Happy St. Nick Day!

No Time For Cohesive Thoughts, Just A Relaxing Ramble....

I craved a nectarine the other day, but working my way through a case of Clementines is wonderful as well. I'm sorry oranges, compared to Clemmies, you're only good for juice.

I can feel the autodidact in me returning. After all the stress its good to know she's still in there, waiting patiently. On the list- learning HTML code, landscaping for birds, the art of persuasive speech, mediating, herbal remedies, and figuring out how to use your passions as a means of financial support.

Yesterday was the first day I felt the cold bite me. There's a point where comfortable, refreshing chilly, turns into, "Hey, this hurts!" I need to rediscover the art of layering.

I also need to clean out the closet and find those gloves!

Despite the facts, we still have hope. That is a result of prayer I'm sure.

Also I'm amazed at how prayer and a little holistic effort is keeping my health in check. Felt the verge of a sore throat coming last night, and I thought about smashing up and eating raw garlic. I decided since this was DH's birthday weekend, I'd spare him. I took apple cider vinegar and honey instead. Its a 50/50 blend, and I gargle a spoonful before swallowing it down. I also add a teaspoon to a glass of water and drink it that way. Maybe its the Clementines as well, but this morning, no sore throat! Yeah!

Going to really have to try hard to avoid sugar and this will help as well. Its going to be a challenge this weekend. Kringles are on sale at the Pig!! $3.99!!! I told myself though since I've already baked not only a cake, but also brownies, there's no need for Kringle, no matter what a great price that is.

My plan for enjoying DH's birthday dessert is to allow myself one bite of cake and one brownie. If I'm going to indulge, it might as well be something that I really enjoy. Although the cake is tempting, Fudgy Ghiradelli brownies are where its at!

I love how when I asked DH what I should make for his birthday, he said to let the boys decide. One son said vanilla cake, the other said chocolate brownies, so now we have both!

I think I hear the birthday man waking up. I better go pounce!

My computer time is so limited, but its more important DH can use it for job searching. Miss you all, but hopefully soon, I'll have the chance to catch up! Have a great weekend!

Thursday 13

1. BRRRR!!! Its cold and its trying to snow. Winter has arrived and I can't fly south.

2. My nest is far from clean, but I've invited friends over anyway.

3. Why can't I make oatmeal cookies?

4. Two more shifts and its weekend time!

5. Why is Yumi trying to eat Christmas ornaments?

6. Clementines are here!! Is it possible to eat too many?

7. Doug at Target was very helpful.

8. I don't care how much fiber they add. Froot Loops are mostly sugar and are NOT a health food! Deceiving young children like that, they should be ashamed!

9. I know how to drive Mr."Geepus" crazy, making him recalculate. I'm going to hear his voice in my sleep, "Recalculating....recalculating..."

10. I do find it a bit alarming I trust technology to keep me from getting lost.

11. Our very first ever fruitcake arrived! Thanks Uncle Pete & Auntie Barb!

12. The condensation on our windows is terrible. Does this mean our house is humid or our windows are shot?

13. I better get moving. The wolves are circling the computer.

Hot cocoa time!!

I have to wake up in 6 hours. I don't know how much longer I can flip flop opening and closing. I miss the sleep!

Trees up, lights are strung...now hopefully we'll get the ornaments hung!

Horror movie marathon tonight. So far we've watched Phenomenon with a really young Jennifer Connolly, Killer Klowns From Outer Space and now its Bad Taste.

Made it all day without cutting into that Kringle! I won't tell you though what I ate at our second Thanksgiving feast!

How This Radical Unschooling Parent Disciplines

We had used "Time Out" for our oldest, but when Jared came along, "Time Out" didn't work for him. We knew spanking was abusive, but if Time Out wouldn't work, what were we to do? I prayed about it, and then the answer came to me. Give this child a mission.

Whenever toddler Jared would misbehave, he needed understanding and direction. It wasn't about trying to get him to change, but understanding why he was acting they way he was. How could we show him how to respect others and make better choices with his reactions?

God told me, "Give Jared a job." It wasn't about redirection so much as it was about giving Jared the opportunity to feel important and purposeful.

"Jared, could you please help Mommy with the garbage? Could you help Mommy with..." He took to it instantly. He loved helping out. It gave him a sense of purpose. It gave him the self confidence that comes with responsibility. Jobs were never about punishment, but were opportunities to show how valuable he was.

I realized this little guy just needed to feel respected, and he wanted to feel powerful. He wanted to be able to do what his big brother and his parents could do.

As he grew older, the misbehavior ceased, and we gave him more choices. For example, we had given him ownership of the task of unloading the dishwasher. He knew it had to be done every day, but he could pick when he did it.

If I'm worried he's not going get to it in a timely fashion, I'll ask him, "At what time do you think you'll be able to unload the dishwasher because I'd like to load in the dirty dishes before I leave for work."

He'll choose a time and ask, "Will 10:30 be okay?" If it works for me, great, if not, I'll explain why.

"Well, I have to leave by 10:30 so that won't work for me."

"OK, how about I unload the dishes at 9:30?"  We have a respectable, negotiation. No nagging, no attitudes, just two people working out together a solution, because they love and respect each other.

We've relied on respect, love and understanding rather than yelling or hitting to teach our children expectations of proper behavior. When we were first time parents, we used "Time Outs" for toddler Jake because that was the advice of our physician, but Jared really taught us the best way to discipline.

I know I've offended friends when I tell them spanking is abusive. I personally believe it should be against the law.  I guarantee you if I slapped a kid's butt and that kid was not mine, I would be arrested and forced to register as a sex offender, but why if I'm the parent of the child is this acceptable? If someone touches, let alone slaps, my backside without my permission, I will feel molested and sexually harassed. It will not motivate me to correct my behavior, but rather I will feel scared or pissed off.

I have some friends who try to use scripture to justify their abusive discipline, but if they would read the original text, they would see the "rod" translates to "leading the direction of", not hitting. Smart shepherds don't beat their sheep because it would hurt and damage them.

What I don't understand is why some parents believe fear works. If you try to control your children using fear and intimidation, I can promise you those same kids, when they do have a problem are not going to come to you for help. They are going to seek out support from those who don't pose any threat.

I feel so blessed knowing my boys know there is nothing they can't come to us with. There is no question they can't ask, no problem they can't share. They feel completely safe with us and know we are going to support them. They aren't going to get "in trouble" but rather they will find a listening, sympathetic ear.  They don't have to lie to avoid punishment, but rather they know they can be completely honest with us.

DS10.10

I wanted to add this photo to DS10's Multiply album, but it didn't work. Now I can't see any of his photos in that album. I'll deal with that problem later. Multiply seems to be not working well for me the past few days.

I took this photo yesterday at G-Mas. I thought it was the perfect example of how different DS10 is from anyone else. Nothing about this child has been conventional. He is truly a unique, wonderful, human being.

A typical kid would use the pillow for their head. Not my son. His head is on the floor and the pillow is for his feet! Also, the typical kid would probably play DS sitting upright.

Jared has always kept me guessing. From the moment I learned he was going to be a boy, I had assumed incorrectly, that he would be exactly like his big brother. He came out looking completely different, yet still resembling DH & I. DNA is fascinating.

Where as Jakob was an easy going, kicking back and taking it all in kind of baby, Jared was the polar opposite. I'll never forget the first time he looked at me. I knew he was a thinker. I just didn't know how different his thinking would be!

Jared can come up with the correct answer, but when he tries to explain to me how he figured it out, he loses me. His thought pattern process is abstract to me.

I thank God we've been able to allow him to learn from life, at home and in the world around us. Jared doesn't fit into a mold. When something interests him, it becomes an obsession and he needs to be given the freedom to truly explore something to his heart's content. 

I'm trying really hard not to cut into the Kringle. Its pecan. Our favorite. My MIL sent it home with us and its still a perfect oval. If I cut into it, I won't be able to stop. Every time I pass it, I will cut off another inch! I must refrain. We have another Thanksgiving feast to chow tonight. For those who don't know, a Kringle is a special Danish pastry and near where we live, in Racine,Wisconsin they make the best ones! www.kringle.com

Thankful Thursday 13

I'm thankful for....

1. Valerian root - after several restless nights, finally got in a good 8 last night.

2. Out of 6 pairs of warm socks, I could at least find one pair this morning.

3. A husband who does laundry

4. My immune system

5. My flexible job and a boss who would do anything she could for me!

6. The mortgage will be paid for December!

7. Rhodes Texas rolls - easy and tasty when I have no time to bake from scratch

8. I didn't have to cook and clean for this holiday weekend.

9. My Mom In Law who is treating us to a Thanksgiving feast today!

10. Chocolate chip pie!

11. A husband who completely takes care of me when I shut down due to stress!

12. My family!

13. A Heavenly Father who never fails me! (I saved the best for last.)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Ringing bells today for the Salvation Army. This year I promised the boys an indoor spot so we're inside a JCPenney's at a large mall. We'll treat ourselves to a late lunch and then it will be off to work for me.

"Curiosity is a survival skill for creatures like us who live by our wits, because we can't predict , in an open and complex world, everything we will need to know later on." - James Marcus Bach

Woke up slow and still moving at a snail's pace. Its a good thing. I'm enjoying several mugs of tea and really great books. Although a hike in the woods would have been nice, I don't want to be shot.

Edible Therapy

Today was a better day. DH is still missing his sense of humor, but when all else fails, make comfort food.

Our uncle gave us a link to the .99 Cent Chef. On his blog, he had directions on how to make Krispie Kreme doughnuts at home.

It was my first time ever making home made doughnuts, but not DH's. He made them once, when he was in middle school, when he was home alone. It did not end well.

I know he was nervous, but we took every precaution. I had a large lid ready as well as the fire extinguisher. I wore long oven mitts and used long handled sticks to turn the doughnuts. DH was on the glaze station.

They came out really good, but then again, when is a fresh, hot doughnut not delicious? We may make them again on Christmas or New Years.

Maybe it was the smell of the oil, but after I had finished frying the doughnuts, DH started slicing up potatoes. He slices them very thin and long, and fries them to a crispy, yet still meaty finish. They are awesome.

French fries happen to be DS10's favorite food, and he was over the moon eating dad's fries. DH told us when Grandpa used to make them, they were always eaten before they made it to anyone's plate.

Earlier, I made DH take me to the library where we loaded up on free books, movies and CD's. To my delight, I scored James Marcus Bach's new book, Secrets Of A Buccaneer Scholar. I had just read his interview in Home Education Magazine and last week I heard him on NPR radio. Now if only I can find the time to read it.

Actually, I know this week will be a short one work wise, and that's a mixed blessing. I'll enjoy the extra time with my family, but it also means I'll miss out on 2 days worth of work. When you work part-time, there is no holiday pay or sick leave.

Tomorrow I'm excited we may hit temperatures in the 60's! For Wisconsin in November this is outstanding! I'm hopeful we can find some place to hike.  We'll need to after what we've enjoyed eating tonight! We should probably open the windows too and let the nest air out one last time before the deep freeze comes.

I'm off to get into pajamas and finish watching the Japanese movie, Pulse. Its one of my favorite scary movies.  Catch you later!  

I'm up early. Its so beautiful outside. Everything is frosty and the sun is beginning to burn through the fog. Its looks so magical. I'm really going to try and make this a good day!

I can't find answers...

Yesterday, after we left our home school posse, I made the comment out loud, "I wish I didn't have to go to work."

DS14 responded, "Mom, of course you don't. Who does?!"

I felt awful. What a terrible example I've been. Its not that my job sucks. It's actually great. Its just the fact, it pulls me away from family more often than I'd like, especially these past several weeks as we try to survive the layoff.

I don't want my children to believe work is something you can't enjoy doing. I need to watch my tongue and instead say things like, "I wish I didn't have to leave and end the fun we're having."

DS10 said, "Mom, why don't you find a job where we can all be together?"

I really wish I could figure that one out. I would love to have a family business with my DH. I just have no idea what we could do.

Its been a challenge trying to keep my chin up. I ask DH what can I do to help him with his depression, but he says there's nothing I can do. He's going to feel this way until he can find a job.

So as the autumn to winter darkness begins to consume more of the daylight, it feels like the same thing is happening in our Sleepyhouse. I can't seem to do anything to make things better, no matter how hard I try.

I want the light to return. I need the light to return. I can't understand why I can't have control of this. I can't understand the timing. I need to see those I love find joy. It is impossible for me to do so, unless they are there with me.

I need a pair of ruby slippers. "There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home....."

After a long day of work, I'm enjoying a relaxing evening at home with my family.

I should be sleeping in but since I can't.....

I'll babble.

Multiply has just stepped over the line. I can ignore most advertisements but they have found my weakness. The Hershey Kiss logo staring at me from the corner is pushing me over the edge! Wish I could afford a premium membership.

Last night we watched a few episodes of World War II in HD. It was pretty good. The boys were really into it, and I know this is because of their gaming. I found it odd to be seeing so much color footage of the early 40's. The soldiers all looked so youthful. Its easy to forget that when you see older World War II veterens. They were fighting all over the world at such a young age.

I'm trying to feel more organized. I know a great deal of the stress I've been feeling since working more hours is because I don't feel balanced. I also worry I'm not getting stuff accomplished because I'm pulled in different directions. So this week I'm writing down each day, stuff I need to tend to. I prioritize the list and if something isn't completed, it gets moved to the next day.

Remarkably, its helped already. Even if I don't feel like I'm accomplishing much, I can review the list and see that indeed I am reaching goals. Plus, my family has stepped up and completed stuff on my list too. I suppose it was a good decision to leave this list out in the open where they could see it. :) Coming home yesterday to the smell of a clean bathroom was a gift!

I've placed "Exercise" on the list for everyday and given it a priority of 1. Its easy for me to place my family's needs and work's needs in front of my own, but I also know that exercise isn't really just for me. By exercising I can stay healthy, which in turn means I'm available for my family and work. I know I've been exposed countless times to illness, and I also know each time I've been able to fight it off. I'm worried this won't continue to be the case though, since my daily walks had disappeared once I began working double the number of hours I had worked before. So now as soon as my work shift is over on Mon-Wed-Fri, I'm exercising, and on Tues & Thurs, I'm exercising after breakfast.

And with that final sentence of the last paragraph, my oatmeal is consumed. So I'm off to change from pajamas to work out clothes.

Darn body clock! Up too early on my day to sleep in.

The Weekend So Far Has Been Great!

Last night was Diva Sista night. The females in our family try to get together at least once a month for a girls' night out. I told myself this weekend I was going to put aside the stress and enjoy my free time to the fullest extent.

It was my cousin's 39th birthday and we went out to her favorite restaurant. It was sort of a Chinese fusion place. I enjoyed a strawberry chicken dish, battered chicken with pineapples and rice in a strawberry sauce. It was very yummy, almost more like a dessert really.

Speaking of dessert, my cousin had not one but two cakes, a traditional birthday cake and a pumpkin cake that was so good! We enjoyed it with cinnamon ice cream! I was so bad!! I will have to try hard to be good today.

We watched a video back at her house, the Proposal. I was probably the only female on the planet who hadn't seen this movie, but living with all men, I don't have many chances to watch chick flicks.

Today I'm hoping we can go used book shopping. We had a coupon for 50% off and I'm thinking we should use this opportunity to pick up a Christmas gift or two. Half off at Half Price Books could mean a great deal. I'm trying to find more opportunities likes this and be more resourceful.

With the unemployment stress, I've found we are only buying what we absolutely need, so in most instances, this means all of our consumer purchases have been at the grocery store. I haven't set foot in Target in over a month. Surprisingly, I really don't miss it, but then I was never a shopper.

Today I'm also going to take some time and try to plan a schedule for myself. I'm not a schedule type person, but with working more hours I've lost my exercise routine, and that is not good. I'm so grateful I've been able to stay relatively healthy, but I know if I don't get back to exercising, this will change.

I better get going. The rest of my nest is starting to wake up. I'll have to ask if they want Mancakes for breakfast.

I'm enjoying a beautiful, quiet morning, and I can feel the day is full of wonderful potential!

I am a lightweight. Family Fun Night wasn't much fun because I was ready for bed at 8:30pm. I was exhausted & it felt really dark out, so I asked the boys if we should lay down and watch a movie. They looked at me strangely and then pointed out it was only 8:30pm. Why did it feel like 11:30pm to me? Oh.... I also broke down and ate raw garlic again. My sore throat started to come back. This morning it feels much better. I don't care how I smell!

I am sleep deprived and ready to curl up under a blankie and watch mindless TV, but first a warm, relaxing shower. But wait! DS10 just told me, "Mom, do you know what we need? Chocolate Crunch bars!" Where's the Halloween stash?

Lunch is tasting pretty blah without the garlic.

Thoughts....

Yumi is driving me crazy, meowing, pawing at the door. I don't understand why she thinks she's an outdoor kitty when we've always tried to keep her indoors. Plus its freezing out! I know she is bored I haven't been able to pester her.

Animal crackers and hot chocolate feed the soul.

My nest is not complete. DH has left to spend a few days with his mom, helping her fix her basement. I won't see him again until late on Saturday. :( I know he'll be in good hands though.

Wishing my mind would focus on things other than work and financial stress. I just want to take control of it all and know its all going to work out.

Yesterday, my boss was standing over my shoulder and she said she smelled garlic. When I went to kiss DS10 goodnight, he said I smelled like salami. DH confirmed it, I need to cut back on the raw garlic. I swear its been keeping me from getting sick though!

Wish I had the time to really focus on cleaning my house. Now that its getting colder and we have to close things up, I'd feel better knowing things were really clean.

Last night a little boy tinkled on my desk at work. I'm sure his parents were mortified, but in hind sight, maybe its not a good idea to stand your child up on the desk instead of the floor? Thankfully the puddle didn't hit me or my notebooks and we had disinfectant on hand. Another parent watching me clean it up said, "At least it wasn't puke." True. There are much worse things to have to clean up.

In about 24 hours I can relax a bit. During the next 24, there's a span of about 9 hours when I'm going to feel guilty and worried. Its unavoidable.

Looking forward to the comfort of friends this afternoon. It will make those 9 hours easier.

Better get a move on. Daylight's a wasting.

I'm working crazy hours again. If I don't stop by your page the next few days, I'm sorry.

Dealing With My Faults

I know I'm suppose to be taking this moment by moment, day by day. I'm just not feeling it. Its easier to worry than hope, and I know this is one of my faults.

This unemployment experience is really bringing my faults to the surface and forcing me to deal with them. Yesterday for example, I was feeling stable until my son pointed out on Facebook a co-worker of mine was wondering where I was. I had driven the pool car home, like I've done the past week or so, after delivering marketing. Apparently my boss was wondering when I was returning because she needed the car. Last week she told me it was ok for me to drive the car home on the days I run marketing out.

My reaction was one of tremendous stress. The last thing I want to do is upset my boss! I freaked out. I immediately tried to call my boss but got her voice mail. Panic began to set in until DH pointed out, no one had attempted to call my cell phone or home phone. Why rely on a Facebook update if she really needed the car? They could have called me if they really needed to get a hold of me.

What I'm struggling with is my reaction. I should not have stressed out. I think it ties in with the fact I feel lately I have no control over my circumstances. I hate this! We're 4 weeks in and bills are coming due. Its becoming more real now.

I so want my old life back, and I'm sure that's another fault of mine. Refusal to mourn, let go and move on. Maybe I'm suppose to work this thing in stages, riding up and down.

I feel like I can't take control and steer this ship where I want it to go. Its it the lack of choice, timing or my failure to get creative?

I'm grateful the boys are doing very well. They really haven't been effected at all. I can see how they support each other when DH & I can't be there, and that is a wonderful thing.

I try to take full advantage of the time I can share with them. It is apparent to me they need me less, but on the other hand, I don't want to be pulled too far away from them.

I better stop the soul searching and get moving. Action will make me feel better. It may be important to sit and think at times, but I shouldn't over think this.

Its happening. They are surpassing me, as they should. I'm proud they are figuring more things out on their own. I know I'll be needed in other ways, and it will be a plus I can start to ask them for technical help instead.

Sorry the weekend is over, but anxious to move on...

Aren't these beautiful? My DMIL has quite the green thumb. The bees were very happy to have one last delicious drink before winter comes. It was unseasonably warm today, almost reaching 70. We took full advantage of it, and enjoyed a stroll along the lake front.

I love Lake Michigan's lake front. We don't live near an ocean, so for me, this is as close as I can get. When I look out at the big spans of water, I can't help but feel my nautical ancestors calling to me. I've always pictured myself living near water and trees. Maybe someday.

I'm sorry to see the weekend come to an end, but anxious for the week to get moving. I'm praying DH gets a call this week for an interview. We're heading into our 4th week of unemployment. We have an appointment this week for food and health care assistance. If we do qualify, I understand it may still be several months before the benefits kick in. Our appointment for energy assistance isn't until the end of January. At that rate, winter will be over by the time that kicks in. The wait list is very long, and I'm sure its because the unemployment rate is very high in our area.

We tried to unload a car load of stuff at Goodwill, and I was surprised they refused to take any toys. The only toys they will take are brand new, in the box, never opened. I'm going to try another charity like St. Vincent's or Salvation Army.

I found out my sister had full blown H1N1. She lives 3 blocks away and she never called me. I'm sure it was a rough week for her, but I was hurt she never called. I would have liked to have had the chance to help her out, making meals or something. She actually never calls me. Its always me calling her. Of course she's very quick to call my other sister and gossip about me. I'm seriously taking a good look at my side of the family and realizing our relationships are not what family should be.

Maybe its because of the closeness I have with my husband, children and mother in law, but I can't help but compare what they offer me compared to what my birth family offers.

When I was younger, I thought it was me. I was the "EMO" child and the rest of my family just made fun of me or rolled their eyes. I only remember my father's mother being like me, and I watched as they made fun and rolled their eyes at her too.

"Will you stop your crying and carrying on!"

I can remember my Grandmother talking to me alone in her kitchen. She'd tell me I was special. She'd say things like, "Don't let them ever get you down. You are special!" We had that bond of both being emotional creatures. I lost my Grandmother while I was in high school. Thankfully, I met my husband shortly there after.

I'm so grateful for my husband, my children and my mother in law. They always lift me up. I cherish the time I have to spend with them. I know this week that time will again be limited as I try to put in extra hours to help. I so desire to go back to my old schedule, working 3 nights instead of 5 days. I miss being able to unschool myself on things that interest me.

I know I'm being selfish and most people don't have the luxury of working part-time, but you have to understand I didn't find true peace and happiness until I began unschooling with my children almost 11 years ago now. I was a nervous, anxious mess when I worked full time and tried to balance being a wife and mother.

I have a gift for being very patient. I was born to be a parent, and I'm frustrated my role in this capacity is being deminished. 

If you've made it to the end of this babble, thank you for listening. I've decided to live honestly and make my life an open book, because one day, all truth is revealed.

Buttermilk biscuits (not cookies)

Description:
I made these to go with our stew. You'll get your hands dirty but they are easy to make and bake up pretty tasty.

Ingredients:
2 C flour, plus a little more for pressing out the dough
4 t baking powder
1/4 t baking soda
3/4 t salt
2 T unsalted, chilled butter
1/4 C vegetable shortening
1 C low fat buttermilk, chilled

Directions:
Heat the oven to 400F

Whisk the dry ingredients in a large bowl- flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt

Using your hands, mix in the butter and vegetable shortening into the dry ingredients until everything is crumbly.

Add in the butter milk and stir until the flour mixture is absorbed and dough forms.

On a floured surface, knead the dough until it is soft and smooth.

Press the dough flat to a thickness of about 3/4 inch.

Cut apart into biscuits or use a biscuit cutter. I like to just cut them apart and not deal with the scraps. It doesn't bother me that every biscuit is a different shape. In fact, its more fun that way if you ask me.

Place them on a baking sheet, sides almost touching but not quite.

Bake for 15-20 minutes

Simple Slow Cooked Beef Stew

Description:
My husband was craving Dinty Moore Beef Stew. EWW! My mother gave me a recipe for beef stew but it involves using an old fashion pressure cooker- too much trouble for me. I found this recipe and it was so easy and simple, I knew it had to work.

The stew came out perfect. I threw in a few extra potatoes and half a large onion I had left, to make it go a little farther. Next time I make it, I'm adding mushrooms!

DH said he could eat this beef stew everyday, so it looks like I won't have to buy that Dinty Moore crap! :)

Ingredients:
1 pound beef stew meat - 1" chunks
2 Cups of potatoes- cut into chunks - I leave the skin on because I like it.
4 medium carrots- cut into 1/2 " chunks (about 2 Cups)
1 Can of condensed cream of potato soup- 10 ounce size
1/2 C water
1 envelope (or half of a 2 ounce package) onion soup mix

Directions:
Place the beef stew meat chunks into your slow cooker. Add the potatoes, carrots and any other veggies you like. In a bowl, mix together the condensed potato soup, the water and the onion soup mix. Pour the mixture over the beef and veggies and stir.

Cook on high for 4 hours or on low for 8 hours.

Don't expect me to organize my thougths...

Life for me lately has been unpredictable and with that comes an unpredictable mind.

I'm finding myself dreaming lately of what life will be like once DH's unemployment is over. I'm making all these plans. I keep dreaming him in a better job where he's happy and the money is comfy, and by comfy I'm talking he'll make as much as he made before or more so. :)

I felt we were living frugal before, but now I can see we could have done much better. The more you have, the more you have to lose. My goal isn't to have more, but to DO MORE, once we're through this lay off. I'm sure this is the lesson I was suppose to learn from this.

I'm going to put away the Halloween decorations today and start to bring out Christmas. Yes, I know its still weeks away from Thanksgiving, but there is a special set of Santas I want out.

Today is the anniversary of my cousin's death. In the years before she lost her battle with cancer, she hand painted a Santa figure for everyone every year for Christmas. I cherish the collection I have, and it reminds me to be more like her in spirit. Donna loved family and loved Christmas. The Santas are coming out today.

I'm also looking forward to making home made, southern style biscuits. Wish me luck because I've never attempted them before. I think I'll also try a beef stew slow cooker recipe.

I don't miss eating out at all, but the challenge has been time. Working more hours, my domestic Goddess role has been diminished. :)  I miss my primary role in household management. There are some things that just need a woman's touch, no offense to my awesome husband.

I'm hoping to stretch my legs this weekend as well. I miss my walks. We're suppose to have warmer weather, in the 60's, so it will feel good.

I'm going to enjoy my nest today! I miss being a Domestic Goddess.

I can feel it. The weekend is getting close!

Khan Academy

http://www.khanacademy.org/
The Khan Academy is a not-for-profit organization with the mission of providing a high quality education to anyone, anywhere.

We have 1000+ videos on YouTube covering everything from basic arithmetic and algebra to differential equations, physics, chemistry, biology and finance which have been recorded by Salman Khan.

The Khan Academy and Salman Khan have received a 2009 Tech Award in Education. The Tech Awards is an international awards program that honors innovators from around the world who are applying technology to benefit humanity.

I have to open and close the pool today. Crazy schedule, but I'm grateful for the added hours on my paycheck.

Made it out for a long walk. Felt so good! It had been too long.

Trying to Look On The Bright Side, Not The Dark...

On my way to work, I passed a car engulfed in flames. I noticed a moron trying to photograph it with her phone while driving 65 mph. On the bright side, I wasn't late for work and she didn't crash into me while taking the photo.

Spent most of my day on my feet, over a huge vat of steamy hot dogs in a humid 90 degree room. On the bright side, it was actually easy money.

I came home and made two versions of mac and cheese, one healthy and one gross blue box. Finally got off my feet. Two bites into cheesy bliss, the projectile vomiting began. On the bright side, he saved me from over eating while tired.

Who knew Flavor Blasted Cheddar Gold fish could really stain carpet. On the bright side, DH was there to help me clean up.

Once DS10 made it the 15 feet to the bathroom, his aim didn't improve. On the bright side, the bathroom is VERY clean now.

Nothing really went according to my plan today, but on the bright side, it is now over with!
 

I'm so grateful for Lysol.

Heading to work dressed as Mother Nature. Do you think the sun will listen to me if I ask her to shine strong and warm things up? Maybe I need to speak to my Heat Miser Son?

Wow. 30 minutes into trick or treating and we've only had 3 visits. We usually have over 100+ kids during the two hours our town designates. Is it H1N1 scare?

Feeling Optimistic

Today was better. My work went smoothly, with more businesses agreeing to display our pool brochures. Wednesday I had about a 50% rejection rate, but for some reason, it went much better today. Maybe it was a better part of town? (Less snooty.) DS14 is still embarrassed I've got the pool car parked in the driveway. I'll have to take a photo to show you tomorrow morning. Its a Volkswagen bug that has been wrapped with photos from our pool. My boss' adorable son in on the back window. Its an attention grabber, but that's the whole idea.

I came home tired, but it was good to be with family again. We had Mancakes for lunch and played games and watched scary movies all afternoon.

DH has more job leads, so I'm praying soon something works out. He went to a networking cocktail party, even though he doesn't drink. He made a few connections but an awkward moment happened as he was trying to leave the party. His inebriated ex-boss asked him, "So, is Dawn pissed at me." He thought for a moment about just lying, but for some reason out of his mouth came the truth.

I felt badly. DH said his ex-boss looked like he was going to break down. Maybe it was the alcohol, but I still felt bad that I had that effect on someone. I'm really hoping Sean can find work and we can put this all behind us. I'll even invite the ex-boss over for supper, once we can afford it!

Tonight we made home made pizza. We're getting more used to cooking and eating all of our meals at home, but I think the boys are starting to miss dining out. We used to get take out twice a week and go out for one sit down restaurant meal a week. Funny thing is, I'm not missing it. The only thing I'm looking forward to again is being able to buy what we want at the grocery store without worrying about it.

I don't mind cooking. In fact I'm excited that next Sunday, DH and I have a "date" to try and make real biscuits together. I'm talking the flaky, shortening kind! Sure they won't be healthy, but we need a treat every now and then, and they'll go great with a Sunday chicken supper. I'd bake them up this Sunday, but I'll be working. I have to put in the time if they have it for me.

Sunday at work we're having a Halloween pool party. I'm thinking of dressing up as Mother Nature. I can't be anything scary because we have little guys that come to the pool. I'm thinking the first half of the party will be crowded. We have over 110 kids signed up for swimming events. Come 3:00pm though, it could clear out. Sunday is the big game in Wisconsin. Packers versus the Farve Vikings. As for me, I'm a Bear's fan. :)

Tomorrow I'm going to sleep in. Although I enjoy working the opening shift because I get so much done, its so dark in the mornings. I don't want to think about what it will be like to get up when its COLD and dark.

I'm looking forward to the boys enjoying dressing up and trick or treating. We have a great neighborhood for it. Afterward, we'll watch scary movies including, Attack Of The Mushroom People! I love cheesy horror!

We're blessed because DMIL will join us. I'm also excited because she is bringing a new to us vacuum cleaner! Ours has been broken for two weeks now. Who would have thought I'd be looking forward to being able to vacuum the floor!

Its life's little blessings that are sustaining me these days. I still have moments, but overall, things feel more positive.  I just hope we can keep this going and bring prosperity rather than worry.

The pumpkins have only hours left. I don't think the governor will call. Mwahaha!!

Still On The Roller Coaster

I'm still trying to adjust to the changes in our lives since Oct 15th. The world hasn't ended, there's plenty to be thankful for, but I can't feel settled. Its the certain uncertainty.

I'm struggling to find balance again. Working more hours, not being around my kids, I feel like I'm losing a connection. I know they are benefiting from having dad around more and for the most part, their lives have not changed, but I miss not being able to share so much with them.

My calorie counting and exercising have been nonexistent this past week, something I KNOW I need to work on. I need to find a new routine, a new groove, instead of waiting to see where things will lead.

I used to enjoy planning for future fun, but now I don't feel confident making those plans. I don't know if the resources will be there, plus I can't guarantee if we'll be in the mood to enjoy it. Take Halloween for example. I can't believe its only days away. There's no excitement. Maybe its because we can't buy pile loads of candy, and we've canceled the post trick or treating party, but I think its more so because I haven't had time to get into it. I haven't had the time to decorate, do crafts and bake ghoulish treats. I'm worried Christmas will be like this.

I'm grateful the tree is already paid for and a few gifts did get purchased before the lay off, but I'm worried I won't have the time or spirit to give my family a warm, wonderful Christmas.

I'm hoping that in a few weeks, this new routine will feel better. Of course reality will hit after that first huge mortgage chunk comes out without the usual paycheck muscle we were blessed with before. That could make me stop mourning the loss of my free time because I'll have another loss to mourn- financial security.

I'm still on the roller coaster, only now it seems a little less up and down. I'm still unsure what lies ahead, another drop? But at least in a strange way the emotional game of job loss is getting predictable.

Why is my cat constantly hacking but nothing is coming up? She is refusing to eat the hair ball goo. Maybe I'll just smear it on her fur. She's mad at me already.

A quick post on what's up...

So much going on, so little time to blog.

I'm working more to help bring in more cash flow. I'm now driving to the pool 5 days a week. 3 mornings I leave the house at 5:00am to open and 2 days a week I'll still close. I don't want to think about how this is going to mess up my body clock. I should throw a sleeping bag and change of clothes in the car this winter just in case.

DH is meeting with an old client in the hopes he can freelance, but its not a permanent solution. It could pay better than unemployment though. I'm praying something comes along.

The boys lives haven't had to change and for that I'm grateful. I was worried having DH home more would change our unschooling, but its only enhanced it. Lately our favorite game has been Repeat Or You're Obsolete. We received it as a thank you gift for bird sitting. Its a memorization game everyone in the family can play. DH is really good at it, of course he's always had an amazing memory.

In some ways, I think because we are homeschooling, it's helping him get through this difficult time. I know it helps him when he can help us, even with small things. Everyone wants to have a purpose in life.

Yesterday we visited the zoo, and I took the photo of the Timber Rattler you see above. I think they are so beautiful. Its one of only 2 poisonous snake species in Wisconsin. The zoo was having a Halloween event so a little extra fun was to be had that day. The zoo keepers carved a pumpkin with several holes, they loaded the pumpkin with snakes, and then the snakes came slithering out of the holes in the pumpkin. It was very cool and creepy!

We we hoping to carve our pumpkins, but we ran out of time yesterday. Maybe tonight we'll get to it.

I have to get on the ball and finish the doughnut costume! My sewing machine is completely locked up so I hand stitched what I absolutely had to and now I'm painting the rest. DS14 still hasn't decided if he'll dress up. I know he wants the candy though!

I better get a move on. I just wanted to check in, jot a few notes and say a quick thank you to everyone praying and thinking positive thoughts for us. Take care of yourselves!