Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Darkside Dawn- the smelly version

Darkside Dawn's nose works too well. Yesterday she had a brain cloud. That's a headache that's not quite a migraine, but you know the potential is there. She figured she could take it easy, and the only thing required of her was to take her two boys to their dentist check up.

She decided to forgo the Advil since she believes medicines are used only as a last resort, and she tried to drink cami tea with lemon as much as possible. (Chamomile tea is naturally  anti-inflammatory.)

At go time, she donned the shades and headed to the dentist office. Traffic was respectful and things seemed to be stabilized.

After checking in on the ground floor, she heads up to the waiting room with the boys. It all goes downhill from here. Apparently, the restrooms are backed up with sewer issues. The office has also screwed up the appointment times and now the boys' appointments are over an hour apart.

Darkside Dawn feels the headache creep back in as she is forced to breathe poo vapor. After first DS's teeth are clean and sparkly, she decides she can't wait another hour in the sewer waiting room so they head to the used book store to kill time.

This should brighten Darkside Dawn's mood, only at the used book store, the horror continues. The clearance shelves are located next to the restrooms, cruel fate. Bargain book shopping comes to a complete halt and retreat when another patron begins to puke his guts out. Add a nauseous stomach to the headache now.

The fresh air outside is cold, but it brings temporary comfort. Unfortunately, Wisconsin in January can be brutal. She couldn't linger for long.

Back to the dentist office for round two. Yup, an hour later, poo vapor's still flowing strong.

Think it can't get worse? Guess again.

In walks cigarette smoking guy with Athlete's foot. I swear this is all factual, and I'm not making this up! Cigarette smoking guy at first doesn't notice the poo vapor. He sits down, across the room, removes his work boots and socks and begins scratching his feet!

Trying to keep her jaw from dropping, Darkside D tries to focus on her book. Cigarette smoking guy eventually notices the plumbing aroma and decides he needs another smoke. He quickly returns, only sitting this time one seat away from Darkside Dawn.

If you are a smoker, your olfactory is impaired so you may not notice, if you go outside in the cold to smoke, you will return with the most disgusting, smoky, sweat smell all over you. Again the work boots come off and the stinky, smelly, itchy feet are added to the violent vapor mix.

Despite her pounding headache, Darkside Dawn remembers a tube of hope in her bag. She whips out her Burt Bees Pomegranite Lip balm. Maybe a little inhalant therapy will get her through this nightmare.
 
People are too busy staring at the cigarette guy scratching his bare feet to notice the strange woman constantly balming her lips. The trick works.

Problem is, Darkside Dawn's dentist turn is tomorrow. She'll have to go back. Why did she have to beat the rhino? A stuffy nose would come in handy.

7 comments:

Terri D'Orsaneo said...

Oh my gosh. Bless your heart!! At least cigarette smoking guy with athlete's foot probably won't be there tomorrow!

Glad you got through it yesterday, and hope you are feeling better today. I'm trying to find some joy in this message, to give it a more positive spin. Not easy.... what a terrible experience you had. I guess the joy will follow when your appointment is over tomorrow!!

Feelin' your pain. Hugs!!

Cindy W said...

You deserve the Mom of the Year Award for putting up with this yesterday. I truly hope your day goes better today.

I guess you have found a good reason to have a cold

Hugs Across the Miles

Stormmie aka Kim said...

You are a trooper. I couldn't have stayed at the dentist. I would have had to reschedule. Hope your turn at the dentist isn't as smelly. Feel better soon!

MommyKore the Expat said...

Excuse me while I go and be sick for a while.

OMG, DAWN!!! What an absolute NIGHTMARE!!!

Maija Benson said...

I have a headache from just reading this!!! What a horrible day!

paige hughes said...

Oh My Goodness!!! Waiting rooms are bad enough on *good* days! I hope the rest of your day went better.

Kimberly McGee said...

Yesterday was our turn to go to the dentist. Luckily, it was a much more pleasant visit than yours. *hugs*