Recovering From My Stupidity

Was it my frugality, or my procrastination? The jar of homemade cranberry sauce from Easter had been pushed way back to the nether zone of the fridge. Without getting down on my knees and using my arms to push aside the more popular chilled consumables, I had forgotten it was there.

Deciding it was way past due to clean out the fridge, I found it, red on the bottom, gray green on top. Since it was a Ball canning jar, I decided to clean it out rather than chuck it. Unscrewing the cap and popping off the lid, I found the gray green fuzzy layer actually kind of interesting, but decided it needed a trip down the disposal.

Here's where my brain fails me. I turn on the water to rinse the jar and watch in awe as the gray green mold erupts into a cloud over my kitchen sink. I see infinite particles floating, dancing in the air illuminated by the sun shinning through the window. As I watch this work of art, I realize I'm probably breathing these little guys directly into my lungs.

I felt okay until after supper. The extreme fatigue came first, followed by a headache, no a headPAIN that hit migraine status in record time. I remember telling DH, if you have to take me to the hospital in the middle of the night, tell them it was mold grown on cranberry sauce and then I passed out.

Thankfully, I did wake up feeling much better. Lesson learned- always clean out the ENTIRE fridge every Monday, (garbage day), and the price of a new jar is worth it.

Since DH designs refrigerators now, I think I'll suggest  a computer tablet built in to the door where you could type in what's in there and when you put it in. A calendar could alert you before science experiments begin to grow. It should also print off shopping lists!

Frozen Chocolate Yogurt Ice Cream

Description:
I wanted to make a more healthy chocolate ice cream treat. This came out very tasty. Next time I'm adding chopped nuts or peanut butter.

Ingredients:
2 C milk
3/4 C sugar
1 T vanilla
1 C plain non fat yogurt
3/4 C cocoa powder



Directions:
Whisk the milk and sugar together until the sugar dissolves. Add the vanilla, yogurt and cocoa powder. Mix until well blended.

Pour the mixture into your ice cream maker and freeze.

I found this frozen yogurt firmed up faster compared to when I made traditional vanilla ice cream using whole cream instead of yogurt.

ICU 8/24/11

“This week we want to…”

Enjoy a weekend at home. We'll probably plan an ice cream party and make our first batch of homemade ice cream. They have decided our first flavor should be vanilla. I would have went with chocolate, but vanilla can be good too. You can always stir in add ins. :) 

“The kids are…”

DS12 used gift money to buy his first air soft gun. (I should actually make that plural. He bought a two pack.) I know these are popular with his peer group, but I had reservations. We had numerous safety discussions, and came to a consensus he was ready. I still am not 100% convinced these plastic air pellets are "environmentally friendly". Too bad the pellets aren't made up of natural fertilizers! 

“I am learning….”

How to truly live a fearless life.

“I am struggling with…”

This next coming week was going to be my own personal staycation, but after having to take on an unexpected project this week, it means next week I will have to play catch up. I can also foresee more clean up work coming my way because others are over burdened themselves. I guess I have extremely high expectations of others, and I'm dealing with disappointment this week.

“This week is the first time….”

I'm going to try growing a tree from a cutting. My friend is making homemade growth medium using willow trees, and I'm bringing the cuttings from my neighbor's peach tree.

“I am grateful…”

To have options. Changes are on the horizon, but I will look for the opportunities rather than mourn the past.

“The best piece of advice I’ve ever received regarding our life path in unschooling was…”

There have been so many great pieces of advice! How can I choose the best?

DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOUR FAMILY, AND DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYONE ELSE.

My doubts about unschooling would only creep in when I tried to measure up to someone else's expectations, rather than what was best for my family's needs. When I finally let go and focused ONLY on MY children, that's when I could truly see how perfectly unschooling was working.

Moanday's Weekend Recap 8/22/11

Taking it easy this Moanday. Maybe it was the full weekend, maybe it was the strange insomnia last night or maybe it was the mysterious insect that has left several giant red welts on my body, but I'm feeling like a wilted flower today.

Here's the weekend recap.

Friday morning, we helped DS15 shoot some scenes for his movie at a grocery store. I made sure it wasn't one we frequented in case we ruffled feathers, but no one seemed to mind what we were up to. Friday afternoon, I helped him shoot more scenes at our local area park.

Friday night visited a family member for his birthday, enjoyed tasty Angry Bird cake. Late Friday night, I freaked out while watching Insidious. Its been awhile since a movie has made me scream out loud and run around turning on lights.

Saturday morning slept in a bit then went out shopping with my sister. Saturday late afternoon, lupper (lunch/supper) with my boys and DH. I believe we chilled out the rest of the night, I'm having a mental block here. Oh wait, now I remember! I made more healthy Oatmeal Walnut Fudge!!

Sunday morning up and on the road to G-Ma's house. After picking her up, we headed over to Illinois State Park Beach to do some hiking. (I find it hilarious that after growing up in that state, but living in WI since 1991, I can no longer spell Illinois without spell check!) Many of the trails are still closed after the storm about a month ago, but there were some open on the North end. We enjoyed a good hike, but I remember feeling like I was being bit up, although I saw no insects. We found a good sized snake and close by a chunky toad, along with several different species of grasshopper.

Sunday afternoon another Lupper(lunch/supper) this time at Infusinos for pizza and moe joes. Hung around with G-Ma watching Fear Factor and setting up the family reunion Facebook page before setting off for home.

Sunday night, could not sleep. Strange anxiety even though I had nothing to stress out over. (Stupid hormones?!) I'd start to fall asleep and then jolt awake thinking - I'm not getting any sleep and I have so much to do tomorrow! I think I was too tired to relax. Know what I mean? I should have gotten up and had tea or something, but for some reason, I didn't.

I woke up here Monday morning with large red welts on my arms. It must have been something at the park, but I suppose I shouldn't rule out spiders.

I went for a 45 minute walk early in the morning, despite the lack of sleep, only to feel like crashing by 11:00am. Recharged slightly with a veggie sandwich and watched a few International House Hunters while waiting for the laundry machines. I'm going to need a Diet Coke to make it through my shift tonight.

DS12 got his bike ride in and logged in his notebook. Today he went over the 50 mile mark! I'm so impressed by his dedication when it comes to exercising.

DS15 is suffering from allergies but still working on his films. I need to lift myself off this chair and see what he has painted for his latest homemade prop.

I'll continue plowing through Moanday and I know tomorrow I'll feel better.

Random Thoughts For Thursday 8/18/11

How about some completely random stuff?

Cheese Its have no sugar. So why do I find them so addictive?

Took awhile but the wasps have found the hummingbird feeder I moved just a few feet this season. We will have to move it again and hopefully confuse the wasps, but still welcome the smarter birds.

I never knew what those numbers meant on my washer until my son pointed out to me they refer to the time duration of the wash. I've had this washer for 10 years and this never dawned on me.

We're getting a refund from the dentist. I love our new dentist! I'm worried we'll lose her when she has her baby. They sent an email saying she's cutting her hours after maternity leave, but I'm worried she'll decide not to come back at all. Then again, I bet she has dental school loans to pay.

We're having spaghetti tonight for supper. As much as I want to enjoy the homemade sauce I made from the tomatoes from our garden, at the same time, I feel like protecting the jars. "No! You can't have my precious sauce!! It must be saved!!" I'll get over it and enjoy it.

Can I shop vac my laptop keyboard?

DS15 asked me what time zone the north pole uses. Good question! I love when my kids ask me something I have no clue about. We both get to learn in the process. The beauty of homeschooling! Whenever those who don't get it, ask me, "How can you teach them stuff you don't know," I try not to grin. I hope they someday find their own inner autodidact.

Despite my efforts, I am a homeschool snob. A family at the pool a few weeks ago asked me about homeschooling. They seemed really interested and impressed, but yet couldn't commit to it for their family. Last night the dad came up to me and said, "There's a really good website for you to use with your son. It has instructional videos..."

"Is it Khan Academy?"

"YES! It is. You know of it?" I knew at that moment I was a veteran. Ya dude, been there, done that.

Also last night a mother said to me, "I could never homeschool. They don't listen to me." My heart broke. I wanted to tell her my children listen to me because I listen to them. But how do I say this without sounding judgmental? Its hard to share your parenting style with others without sounding superior as well. I wanted to tell her, my kids really do love and respect us 100% because we have always loved and respected them, unconditionally. It wasn't that difficult.

I stopped being random there didn't I?

Breaking news! There's a chore war going on right now! I just heard DS15 tell DS12, "I cleaned the sink so you're left with the toilet." (I didn't ask them to clean the bathroom.)

"DUDE! That's not cool! Not cool! I wanted the sink." You snooze you lose DS12. DS15 beat you to it.

I actually would prefer the toilet. It seems cleaner than the sink.

DS15 is now cleaning the toilet himself. Interesting. Apparently he doesn't mind doing it even though he cleaned the sink.

Enough randomness. I'm really just procrastinating running to the grocery store.

Have a great day!

Just finished making basil, onion, garlic, marinara sauce and my taste buds have reminded me why its worth all the effort to grow tomatoes in my garden.

In The Garden Today

Should I clean up the house or clean up a garden bed? I decided to go with the garden bed because its so nice outside and butterflies can't keep me company inside without being in mortal danger from Yumi.

Look at how my tomato plants surprised me! I couldn't believe how much fruit I found on those withering, disease ridden plants. They are going out with a bang and perhaps I'll make some sauce after all. If I were a cat or dog, I confess, I would roll around in tomato plants. I love how they smell. I will have to research what to do with this bed after this growing season. With so much blight, I know I shouldn't grow tomatoes there again.

After looking over the rest of the beds, I decided to rip up most of the zucchini plants that were not producing. I saved a few plants that still have baby squash still trying to grow, but for the most part, the zucchini bed has now become the fall bed for Swiss Chard and my garden favorite, Sugar Snap Peas!! I hope they do well in their new spot. The old Swiss Chard bed I'm still harvesting from, but the peas have long been gone. Their remaining dried up vines are providing nice shelter for the Swiss Chard.

Next to go will be the old Swiss Chard/Sugar Snap pea bed. I will plant garlic there for next year.

Ripping apart the old garden is bittersweet. I'm emotionally attached to it after sweating over it all summer. In hindsight, I should have planted melons, but for years now our summers have been cool. You would know it the summer I decide not to plant melons, its brutally hot.

Having A Wonderful Weekend

I have the best husband. Just saying. I know how blessed I am to have such a great man, who takes care of me so well. He really knows how to pick out good roses too!

DH and the boys also got me Badger Balms and Badger Lip Balms. I love Badger products! (For the record, I am not being paid to say this on my blog.)

My other current present is the new Cage The Elephant CD! Awesome!!

I have a few books on order and we're shopping the market for an ice cream maker.

This afternoon we'll celebrate my official birthday meal out at Red Lobster for lunch. I know the boys are looking forward to those cheddar biscuits.

We may catch a movie this weekend too. We'll see how it goes.

Hope you're all having a wonderful weekend too!

Creepy Dude Creeps Me Out On My Birthday

I decided to wear a new blouse I recently bought myself, along with my favorite denim skirt. Doing so would make me feel good about myself, and I want to look pretty for when my husband comes home from work.

I had a notice the book I requested was in from the library, so I threw on my green flip flops and ran to the library.

Creepy Dude was at the desk, checking out. He turned to check me out. I was browsing the new book shelf, waiting for my turn, when I heard him begin to speak to me. I did not make any eye contact with Creepy Dude, but he began to tell me how I have on a nice green blouse. He told me my skirt should be green to match my blouse. He told me he really liked my green shoes. Creepy Dude, they're flip flops. You're either easily impressed or you have a fetish for green.

The entire time by the way, he's not using his library voice. Do Creepy Dudes have a library voice? The entire first floor heard him.

Inside my head, for a second I was mortified. I do not like unwanted attention other than from my husband. Why didn't I wear my burqa? Seriously, for a moment I was horrified, but then I quickly got over it. I can look good but no one gets these goodies except Soul One!

I looked up and made eye contact with Creepy Dude. I said nothing, but gave him a little smirk. The librarian looked like she wanted to rescue me, but she didn't have to. Creepy Dude left when I wouldn't engage his conversation.

Why is it every time I buy a new shirt, someone says something to ruin it for me? I once wore a dark purple satin blouse on a date with my husband. The hostess at the restaurant made a comment to me about how all I needed was a red hat. No offense to Red Hat girls, but I was a ways away from being officially old enough to join. Nothing like being told you look old to take the wind from your sails while on a date with your husband.

All that really matters is that DH will come home tonight and want to squeeze me. I'll tell him about Creepy Dude so in case he doesn't realize it, apparently I'm eye candy when dressed in green.

 

Maybe some retail therapy is on order? This 50% off coupon is calling to me from my purse. An early birthday gift for me from me? I think, YES!

ICU 8/11/11

“This week we want to…”

I'm looking forward to sharing my birthday weekend with my family. We'll probably have lunch out, but nothing else is planned. I want to relax and just go with the flow.

I haven't had the chance yet to pull up the garden and plant fall veggies. Maybe this coming week we'll get to that. 

“The kids are…”

DS15 is still working on his films. I was kicked out of the house so he could shoot scenes yesterday. :)

DS12 has been working on fixing up his room. He loves that he has the top bunk. I've been finding him up there reading more often. We all need a reading nest.

“I am learning….”

Food preservation techniques and all about chili peppers. I've also been looking for more recipes to use our garden produce.

“I am struggling with…”

Two words - Time Management!!

“This week is the first time….”

I tried a Lara bar - Chocolate Chip Brownie. Wow! How can these be good for you? They taste like candy! They're almost too sweet. I may have to look into how to make my own snack bars.

“I am grateful…”

The weather has cooled off and we've had a bit of rain. Having the windows open and feeling the cool breeze is exactly what I needed. Plus the ant invasion has subsided now that they can find water to drink outside.

“A fun thing I’ve done recently is…”

I've set up a Pinterest account. I'm just getting started but I can tell I'm going to love it. I'm a very visual person. Pinterest is a virtual pin board where you can post images. You can follow others who share your interests, or link up with friends. If you want an invite, let me know or follow me at https://pinterest.com/dawninger/

 

The Sleepyhouse Garden 8/9/11

This is what I picked today from our garden. I need a bigger basket. The tomatoes are sitting in my new pottery bowl specially designed to drain your produce after you wash it.

Can you find the Habernero on the Swiss Chard? DS15 decided he wanted to pop it into his mouth and chew it up. (He of course, filmed the experience.) I tried to warn him how intense it would be. He bit the pepper in half and chewed it up in his mouth and swallowed!! DS12 and & I watched in amazement.

I almost thought I was going to have to dial 911. He drank large quantities of chocolate milk, tried a piece of bread and ice chips before deciding to eat an ice cream bar. I guess some lessons in life, you have to experience yourself.

Unschooling My Filmmaker Son

The cute check out girl saw him with his camera. He told her he was a filmmaker. She mentioned how when she was in high school she directed plays and loved building sets. (How can she be old enough to be out of high school?)

After we left with our groceries, I said to him, "Too bad you didn't have a business card to give her." I offered to later help him print out his own.

I came home from work and he showed me his first official business card. Apparently he didn't need my help.

I'm actually so very impressed he has taken so many steps on his own when it comes to his interest in film making. I've been here to offer suggestions, but he's gone further focusing on details I would have over looked. From designing marketing, to learning software, much of everything he's learned so far has come from his own determination and will.

Whether or not this is how he'll one day make his living doesn't matter. What is so awesome is that he's a full blown autodidact! All I did as his unschooling mother was give him the freedom to follow his own passions and provide a few resources. What I couldn't give him, he found himself. His creativity and resourcefulness has me amazed. Where did this come from?

I had to let go of fears of failure living this lifestyle. I came to realize failure was something that hopefully he would indeed experience! Failure is a necessity when it comes to finding success. Without failure, how can we learn and improve?

Approaching something new without fear holding you back, brings greater results. When you no longer fear failure, but instead use it to your advantage, it removes the risk factor. If this doesn't work out, we'll try something else. We'll keep trying until we get the results we want. We never give up because we're having fun just being engaged in the process.

Giving my children a safe place to fail opens up pathways to their success. How crazy is that?!

DS15 asked me to drive him to McDonald's so he could pick up a job application. I asked him what type of shift he was interested in and he told me the application was a prop for his movie. I love this kid!!!

Weekend Report 8/8/11

Its DMV day to renew my license and capture for the next several years the wonderful image of my pimple. Seriously, I don't care. My new mantra ~ Be Who You Are ~ means I'm accepting myself entirely for who I am at this very moment.

DH tells me, they no longer allow you to smile for your picture. My non smiling face looks like I'm really pissed off. I'm thinking about intensifying my eyes and making it really creepy. Why not have fun with it, right?

This past weekend was very full. Friday was garage sales & fish fry with the family & DMIL. Saturday was more garage sales, lunch out with the fam, supper out with my sis, seeing my nephew at his jazz gig. Sunday we attended our friend's Eagle Scout Court of Honor.

I didn't really find anything cool at the garage sales, but DS12 found 3 gallon sized bags full of bouncy balls for his collection for a $1, DS15 found a Gameboy game.

DS15 filmed our garage sale Cootie game. Have you ever done this? You pick up something from a free box and move it to another garage sale without the owner noticing. DS15 picked up a free blue book at the library book sale and later placed the book on a table of books for sale at another garage sale. You do this covertly of course! Later, the owner will be cleaning up after their sale is over and wonder how this book got there. Its a little bit sneaky and maybe a little mean, but it really doesn't hurt anyone. Most people in our town box everything up that didn't sell and give it to Goodwill.

Speaking of DS15's filming, he's really surprising me, delving into aspects of making a film I hadn't considered. For instance, he's created his own movie poster and painted a sign promoting his film which is now sitting outside our house for those driving by to see. I think its awesome he's thought through to the marketing stage of things!

Well, I better get moving here. Have a great Monday!

ICU 8/4/11

“This week we want to…”

We hope to unload a few things tomorrow at what I'm calling a low stress yard sale. We'll drag stuff out as we find it and price it when someone asks or when we get around to it. When we feel like closing up shop and doing some shopping of our own, we'll do it. G-Ma's coming for the weekend so it's going to fun!

Tomorrow night my nephew comes to Madison with his jazz group so we're hoping to catch a couple of his shows this weekend.

If the weather cooperates, its time to rip up some of the garden and get it ready to plant fall crops.

“The kids are…”

Setting up their separate bedrooms. Cleaning is changing over to decorating. We're hoping to find some cool furniture pieces and bookcases at the garage sales this weekend.

DS15 has started yet another movie. I'm losing count of how many he's currently working on, but that's a sign of genius. Do you know how many projects DaVinci started and never finished? I'm disappointed I don't get to see the "dailies", but this only will make me urge him to finish so I can finally see his work.

DS12 is heading out on longer bike rides. I have to let go a little more, and not worry. I have to remember when I was his age, I rode my bike all over our town, all day long.

“I am learning….”

About bullies. I have to write a blog about it for work. Honestly, we don't have much experience with this since we homeschool. My son was once cyberbullied by his cousin but he dealt with it really well, "unfriending" him. Emotionally, he had no trouble walking away with his self confidence intact. We have friends from the neighborhood, and homeschool friends, but it ended up being a relative who picked on my son.

“I am struggling with…”

Not feeling well physically. I still have this mysterious dry, scratchy sore throat. I need a cool, fresh air, breezy day where I can open up the house and air it out.

“This week is the first time….”

My mind's blank on this one at the moment.

“I am grateful…”

For my Soul One. Its sappy, I know, I but I truly love him so much. I know he'll always have my back.

“Something God has taught me this week is…”

To remember to try and understand where people are coming from. We're all learning and growing all the time, and we all have different lessons from life's experiences.

Maybe I Shouldn't Drink The Water?

I'm either fighting off a bug, or I need to call our village about the water supply. The past few days, I've felt like I might be getting a sore throat and at times, my stomach feels iffy. I'm not full blown sick, but I can tell, my immune system is busy.

This morning DH mentioned at the end of his shower, the water smelled funny. This reminded me of how lately certain loads of laundry have come out smelling funky rather than clean.

In the past, we usually get the mailed notice from the health department weeks too late, "such and such has been found in the city water supply." I've noticed for some time now added chlorine to our tap water. I work at a pool and I'm used to chlorine odor, so the fact I can smell it in our tap water is not a good thing. We try to filter our water, but showers and washing water are not filtered.

Sometimes I don't like that my body is so sensitive but on the other hand, it keeps me away from these toxins by bringing my attention to it.

Anyone Have Any Cheese To Go With My Whine?

I have summer's version of cabin fever. We're all in a funk actually. We need this weather to change.

I picked some Swiss Chard to throw directly into my smoothie,and I swear it tasted cooked. I suppose it actually was given how hot and humid it is outside. I usually like eating food fresh from the garden because it tastes "alive." If you ever had a tomato right from the vine, you know what I'm talking about. The plant's cells are still living when you consume it within minutes, and this effects the taste and nutritional value. I only wish my garden wasn't being so abused by this weather!

I have to leave for work today early, which I suppose given my mood, this isn't so bad. It would be different if we were enjoying these summer days, but we're not. Why not escape away to work?

I just need to get through today and hopefully tomorrow the temperatures will be in the 80's. Throw in a good thunderstorm and I'll be happy.

We're going to try and throw together a last minute yard sale. Our village has their official garage sale weekend starting Friday. We're going to drag stuff out on Friday and see if anyone cruising by wants any of it. I'm also planning on dragging stuff out and marking it FREE FOR THE TAKING. The goal here is to purge as much stuff as possible. I also told the boys any money that comes in is all theirs to split. Hopefully that will get them motivated.

Chocolate Zucchini Muffins

Description:
Experimenting with trying to make a low fat, low sugar, chocolate baked treat, I created these moist, yummy muffins.

Ingredients:
2 L eggs
1 t vanilla
1/2 C brown sugar
1/2 C apple sauce
1 1/2 C shredded zucchini

1 C flour
1/2 C cocoa powder
1 t baking soda
1/4 t baking powder
1/2 t cinnamon
1/2 t pumpkin pie spice
3/4 C chocolate chips


Directions:
Mix the eggs, vanilla, apple sauce and brown sugar.
Stir in the zucchini.

In a separate bowl, mix the flour cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon and pumpkin pie spice. Mix in the chocolate chips.

Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and stir until combined.

Spray a muffin tin with non-stick spray. Fill muffin cups with 1/2 c of batter.

Bake in a preheated 350 oven for 25 minutes or until set.

When I woke up, I saw condensation on the windows. After a few minutes of feeling cool, I checked the thermostat. We normally set it at 80. It was on 72! Who bumped it!!??

Day 3 of roller arms. Hoping its the last coat needed!

ICU for 7/28/11

“This week we want to…”

Finish painting DS15's room, pay a little TLC attention to the rest of the house, buy a bike lock, renew my driver's license, haircuts - (I guess this is more what I want to accomplish.)

“The kids are…”

DS15 is still working on making his short film. He posted on his Facebook page the other day, "Making a movie is a challenge, but a challenge is what I'm after."

I'm so proud of him for sticking with it, despite all the challenges of making a film with a zero budget. I know he's having trouble scheduling actors. We suggested that he start a film making group in the area, and he'll meet more people interested in film making. They could learn from each other and support one another.

“I am learning….”

How to slow down. I'm not getting as much done, but quality is at times, more important than quantity. I'm applying this approach at work and connecting more with customers. I think its really paying off.

“I am struggling with…”

The summer weather. I'm burnt out, no pun intended. I need a nice cool, even briskly cold day to refresh my spirit. I'm a creature who craves change. Day after day of hot and humid, I feel like a flower wilting. Maybe its my genetic makeup, coming from cold weather stock, but I swear I'd rather add another layer than sit in this central air tight box another day.

“This week is the first time….”

I haven't been paying that close attention I guess. I can't think of any firsts this past week.

“I am grateful…”

My body heals. Sore arms from painting are feeling better now. Next came a sore knee, followed by a sore ankle. Thankfully, this morning, except for the typical sinus irritation, all my parts feel like working.

Hey, don’t head off just yet, we have a new thought for you to ponder this week.

What is the worst thing you ever forgot to do?

Honestly, I can't think of anything, but that's probably because I have a weak memory to begin with. If I forgot something serious, I have forgotten that I've forgotten it.

I know I forget stuff all the time. God did not give me a good memory. Maybe that's why I like to stick to being honest most of the time. You have to have a good memory to be a liar.

Mostly I can't remember dates or time frames. I cannot tell you what year I had my gall bladder removed, but I can remember my parents came to help out, and I watched Lord Of The Rings movies all day recovering from the out patient surgery.

I know my children's birthdates, but I can't put ages to specific memories like what happened to them when they were 7. I remember when my son got his finger caught under the skateboard and scraped away his entire fingernail, but I can't tell you how old he was when this happened. I just remember his body size. He ran to the one place he could think of to find physical comfort, his bed. He laid there clutching his wrist, holding his hand in the air, praying, "Please God! Please God! Make it stop hurting!" I remember feeling helpless, looking at his bleeding finger and realizing his fingernail was completely scraped off. I couldn't apply pressure to it. I couldn't wrap it up or put anything on it. All I could do is pray with him. 

I remember emotions. I get lost in specifics.

I'm amazed at how my DH can recall not only every movie we've seen but what theater we saw it in! I'm grateful to have a partner who can fill in all the details of our life together since I'm severely lacking in this ability.

Serious brain cloud today. I'm sure its this heat and humidity. I don't think we've ever run our central air this continuously before. No end in sight. :(

Realizations This Morning

That's not fair. Although I did indeed sleep, I was sick and exhausted in my dreams so guess how I woke up feeling.

I chugged my water and went back to the basics - banana/strawberry smoothie - and after dwelling in the land of the conscious, I'm realizing I'm not sick, although I wouldn't exactly say I'm feeling rested.

Yesterday we primed DS15's new room. The fumes stuck in my sinuses are probably what's triggering this downfall. Today I should paint, but after wearing too much primer to work last night, I'm wondering if heading to work a little green would be a good thing.

At least we have the color choice picked out. After looking at paint chips, DS15 & I chose one only to come home and realize its almost the same color that's in his current bedroom.

I'm also coming to realize that although I've been practicing relaxing meditations, I'm still not relaxing before I eat something. I've been trying to make healthier choices, but it dawned on this Dawn yesterday, I need to consciously stop before I eat anything, take several deep breaths, find peace and then begin to eat. On a subconscious level, my body is still in survival mode so my fat switch is still on.

I've been stuck in an exercising rut with this hot summer weather, yet I noticed my body felt achy. Am I getting old? Nope, its the physical work I've been getting trying to fix up the nest. Scraping wallpaper and rolling paint woke up some muscles I wasn't using walking.

Deciding whether I want to go to work being green tonight.

What A Photo Can Trigger In A Mother's Heart

I just found a photo, ten years old. I mourn those little boys forever gone, yet still here. Don't you wish you could clone your children and have them at every age forever?

I need a baby son to cuddle and rock. I need a toddler son I can help take those first steps. I need his 4 year old self, making peanut butter crackers for himself for the first time. I need the giggles and laughter at bedtime, the silly entertaining questions that never stop.

I'm proud of the young men they have become and being here, in this moment, as they transform before my very eyes, I enjoy imagining what their futures will bring. Yet I mourn for those years gone by, so many precious moments now only memories.

I'm blessed to have had every minute with them I was given. I still want a time machine though. I want to read Chicka Chicka Boom Boom one more time. I want to burrito wrap you and wear you in the sling, holding you as close to my heart as I can get. I want to race Matchbox cars and ride couch cushions down the stairs like sleds. I want to cut your sandwiches into shapes and make funny faces with fruit on our plate.

I'm happy we still go for hikes together, and I can introduce you to 80's rock. We get to watch grown up movies and compare social media notes. You teach me more than I teach you these days, and that's something wonderful I wouldn't trade for anything. When you leave my nest, will I be able to figure out the video camera by myself?

I'm learning to let go, but you should know I always will be here, when you need me. I wish I could have had more time to show you everything, but I understand now this wasn't my responsibility. I only had to show you where to find the wind. Your sails and tiller belong to you. You're on a journey I can't keep you from, with destinations I can only dream of.

I'm writing because I don't want to move and I feel like complaining.

It seems easier to sit here and babble, rather than get up.

Last night the roller coaster dropped out from under DH, but it appears the ride may finally be over. He was stressing over working on a project for his ex-coworker. It was going to be the final project and from this point on, he was going to say no. The stress isn't worth it. Well after spending several weeks dealing with this, the project got pulled from him. On the plus side, he doesn't have to stress over it anymore. On the minus, he most likely will not get paid for the time he's already put into it. I'm just happy it is finally over and he can cut the cord from all ties to his past employment. It was such a toxic situation. My DH is the type of guy who wants to help out when he can, but unfortunately helping this ex-coworker brought nothing but stress. They really took advantage of my husband and I'm happy this will never happen again.

After the brakes cooled on the above situation, DH & I went out for an impromptu date to the bigger library in the next town over. It was wonderful to browse for a hour, but I made the mistake of walking past the computer area. I'm always disgusted with how many creeps are viewing porn. I'm sure the librarians are too intimidated to stop them. At least this library has separate computer sections for teens and children.

Can I complain about something else that's been offending me? Have you seen that Summer's Eve hail to the V commercial? The first time I saw it, was before the Harry Potter movie, with my teen boys. I was appalled. Click Here to see the commercial. Was this appropriate to show before a family movie? (I know HP is PG/PG13, but still.) I'm more offended by the suggestion women need to make ourselves "clean" because men are "fighting for it." A man should honor a woman for who she is, not for what her vagina smells like!

I'll stop complaining now. I'm looking forward to having a real weekend with my family. There's no where we have to be, no where we have to go. We're going to work more on getting DS15's room ready and just go with the groove and see where life takes us.

Have a great weekend!

WHOA! I almost had a spider in my smoothie. She didn't want to let go of the Swiss Chard. I can't say I blame her. I wonder if I would have woke up with spidey powers?

ICU Meme for 7/20/11

“This week we want to…” Stay cool. With this heat wave, its almost impossible to do much outside. DS12 still insists on riding his bike several miles each day, and he comes back soaked. I can barely stand being outside long enough to water the garden. This weekend hopefully we'll get DS15's room at least primed for painting. The wallpaper came down easier than I expected. I also want to take advantage of some "back to school" sales, even though we aren't going "back to school." We all could use new shoes and I'm such a sucker for marker/colored pencil sales.

“The kids are…” DS15 finished making props for his movie. Apparently he raised the suspicion of someone driving by when he was spray painting his Nerf gun black. He kept thinking the police were going to pull up. Filming will begin soon. DS12 is improving his fitness, (see above.) Seriously, I wish I was able to commit to an exercise program like he does.

“I am learning….” How to make soap. I'm going to order my materials soon and gather equipment together. I'm hoping to be able to make soap that won't make my skin dry out.

“I am struggling with…” I haven't been walking. Its too hot outside, and I just can't stand the boredom of the treadmill. I'm making excuses, I know, but there's another part of me that wants a break. I feel like I'm juggling so much right now.

My dreams have been reflecting this. They are filled with anxiety. In one, our parakeet Tornado escaped from his cage. Suddenly he turned into a dozen birds, and I didn't know how to save them all before Yumi got any. I realized in the dream, GET THE CAT, not the birds.

I know this meant I need to figure out what the real threat is, and not let all the stressful details of life get to me. Its all in how I, "the cat", choose to respond to stress. Its not about focusing on how to solve it all, but rather, how not to let it get to me. 

“This week is the first time….” I made Pesto. I used walnuts instead of pine nuts and froze it using an ice cube tray. I just thaw out as many cubes as we need and toss with freshly cooked pasta. The recipe I found doesn't use too much olive oil, and I of course threw in a few extra cloves of garlic! :) 

“I am grateful…” For central air - Seriously, without it I'd be crying. I can't sleep unless I'm cool.

Hey, don’t head off just yet, we have a new thought for you to ponder this week.

Now, I do NOT believe it’s helpful to keep looking in the past, but sometimes what we’ve gone through can help others, so with that in mind……

If you could do it all over again, what is one thing you would choose to do differently in regards to homeschooling/unschooling?  I would have trusted unschooling sooner. I wish I could go back and relax more. I didn't do a good job of modeling how to relax. I had to learn the hard way through the early years, how to trust unschooling. Thankfully kids are resilient and no permanent damage was done. 

Weekend Report 7/18/11

Thursday night we drove in and met DH for pizza. He was finishing up a business meeting. The boys didn't have that great a time because the business associate stayed and had pizza with us. It was either the unhealthy food or the strange company, but by the time I got home, my stomach was queasy.

Friday I was feeling better and happy to know DH was going to be home early for a change. We headed out that night for our favorite Mexican restaurant. We normally don't go there on Fridays so it was a different crew. Our food was still excellent, but the service was lacking. We've always had wonderful experiences so it was a shock. When we go back, it will be a lunchtime thing on a weekend.

I had the grilled chicken tacos which don't come with cheese but rather just grilled meat in corn tortillas. They give you re-fried beans and a bowl of pico de gallo you can top your tacos with. I skip the corn shells and eat the grilled chicken piled high with the tomatoes, onion and peppers and beans. My family orders the steak version but they don't want their pico de gallo. They give it all to me!

I think this low or no gluten meal sits better with me. I'm tempted to try more gluten free meals, but it seems daunting to go completely gluten free.

Saturday I scraped away the last of the evil wallpaper. We are re-decorating the guest room to be a room for DS15. Using my friend's technique, it actually came down better than I expected. (Thanks Cherie!) First you rip the outer layer off, leaving the paper glue backing. Using a spray bottle with warm water, wet down the paper glue backing. Wait a minute or two and then scrape up a corner. Grab the loose paper with your hand and gently pull back the rest of the paper. You still have to scrape a bit, but you'll be amazed at how much of the paper comes off just pulling.

Saturday afternoon while driving to a co-worker's baby shower, I wondered why my legs felt so weak. I realized while scraping off the wallpaper, I was standing on beds most of the time. My legs had been basically on a rebounding trampoline all morning. Got a workout without thinking about it!

DH stayed home working, the boys had friends over, while I was at the shower. When I got home, we cooked up tacos because apparently, I didn't get enough re-fried beans the day before. LOL! My favorite comfort food lately- re-fried beans with onions, tomatoes and peppers, using those little circle taco chips to dip into it with. It must be all the heat that makes me want to eat the salt and hot, spicy food.

To beat the heat on Sunday, we all went to see Harry Potter. I thought it was okay, but of course, the books have so much more detail. Without spoiling anything, there is an event in the books that is gut wrenching, but in the movie it was portrayed with distance. I was really disappointed. I really think it would have been better to have a series on TV, with each book being a season. There's just so much lost detail in the movies.

DS15 has begun rehearsing/filming his movie. He almost has the props built. I have to take him to the hardware store to buy spray paint. I think its ridiculous he can't buy this on his own - stupid laws.

DS12 has been making me nervous exercising outside in this heat. He goes for daily bike rides and comes back dripping. I've warned him about heat exhaustion, but I have to let go and allow him to be responsible for his own body. He tells me his route and I watch the clock. I know he'll make safe choices, but he's still my baby. :)

This week ahead, I'm going to try and beat the heatwave, spending much of our time indoors in the central air.

Shhh! Don't tell! I'm sneaking blueberries into the movies.

Film Education | Home

http://www.filmeducation.org/index.php
Free film study resources

You can read about love, but falling in love, loving others, is something to be experienced. As an unschooling autodidact, this is how I believe learning truly happens.

ICU Meme for 7/13/11

It’s Wednesday, so that can only mean one thing…….we need the I-CU!

What is I-CU?

Intensive Care for the Christian Unschooler– this will be a weekly meme (you post the questions to your blog each Wednesday that you are able, using one of the buttons to link back here, and hop over here and add your site to the linky at the bottom.)

 

“This week we want to…” Take down evil wallpaper, compost the dying spring veggie plants and plant something new, help DH get through a stressful work load.

“The kids are…” DS15's movie script is done, and I suppose he'll be recruiting his friends to play the parts. I wonder if one day he'll write a part for me? :)

“I am learning….” How to make soap. My skin really doesn't like the store bought kind anymore, and I want to start making my own natural soap.

“I am struggling with…” Eating fruit. I've recently learned that the natural sugars in fruit could be working against my weight loss goals. Cutting out cookies was difficult enough, but right now summer time fruit is so abundant and so delicious. I love fruit! I'm not sure I'm ready to take this step, giving up fruit. I may try cutting back, or just adding more veggies to my diet, but my freezer is loaded with mulberries, blueberries, peaches, pineapple, strawberries and bananas. I was stocking up for a long smoothie run. I had a nightmare last night about trying to make healthy eating choices. 

“This week is the first time….” I didn't try to find things to worry about. Thinking about how one day, this world really won't be here forever, I realized how ridiculous it is to worry, especially over petty issues. One day we'll all be somewhere else. What really matters is how we treat each other right now.

“I am grateful…” I have been given yet another day to love those around me. I will not allow stress to distract me from being a loving person. 

Hey, don’t head off just yet, we have a new thought for you to ponder this week.

“The biggest change I’d like to see take place in my family in the remainder of 2011 is…..” We all get more exercise. I love how DH is walking more with DS12, but our weekends have been busy. We used to hike a lot more often. I hope we will get back to it soon, although this coming weekend its going to be dangerously hot.

Have a blessed week!

Its 7/11, and even if we had a 7-11 store nearby, I think I'd still skip the Slurpee. At my age, they give me tummy aches, not brain freeze. Instead I made my own today with almond milk, ice and hot cocoa mix. Yum!

Weekend Report 7/11/11

This is my neighbor's tree. Poor thing cracked in half and blew over this morning, just an hour after my parents headed out on their way home. Thankfully they missed the vicious storm, driving out of town just in time.

We had a great visit with my parents as they wrapped up their trip. We made my father's recipe spaghetti and had family over for Sunday supper. YUM! Sunday was also a day of rest to catch up from our out of town trip Friday/Saturday.

We drove to K-town for DS12 to participate in the postponed Firecracker run. He did great for his first 5K! I'm so proud of him. G-Ma did awesome too! Maybe next year the rest of our family will run/walk.

After the race, we strolled the farmer's market along the lakefront and picked up a most delicious garlic sourdough bread. It actually has chunks of garlic clove baked right into it! I'm going to have to try baking one of these myself.

DH shopped a unique men's wear store, Mike Bjorn's Tuxedos, and picked up several awesome ties for only .95 each. Its definitely not "blah mart".

Saturday night, I was feeling iffy, but thankfully I never really did get sick. I think it was the ginger snap cookies my mom shared from Trader Joes that helped me feel better. :) Thanks Mom! Of course now I'll have to plan a trip to Trader Joes to pick up some for myself.

We have ambitious plans to remodel the guest room this week into DS15's own room. With little sleep and no power this morning, our plans are off to a rough start. The storm blew in and changed our course. Maybe tomorrow I'll have the chance to remove the wallpaper border.

DARN! We just lost power for a moment! They must still be trying to fix things after the storm. Thankfully my laptop backed this up, but I better log off.

Can I complain? THERE'S NO RAIN!!

ICU Meme for 7/7/11

Participating in this week's meme at I-CU

“This week we want to…” Get back on track. Not that any day is typical in our Sleepyhouse, but with so much coming and going this past holiday weekend, we're looking forward to being in the nest and following our own pursuits.

“The kids are…” Setting their own goals. DS12 told me he wants to make a new "things to do this summer" list, since he's already reached the goals he made previously. DS15 has been filming and editing all sorts of videos he's shot. I asked if he wants to move from documentaries and short fiction to possibility developing a pilot.

“I am learning….” How to add more nutrition to our diets. Added fresh ground flax seed meal to the menu this week in cereals and smoothies. Experimenting with green leafy smoothies too. I think I like drinking my salad.

I'm also learning how weight loss is so difficult due to the toxins that are stored in fat. Your body doesn't want to release those toxins so it actually fights against burning fat cells. I'm hoping to cleanse out the toxins with cruciferous veggies, water and exercise.

“I am struggling with…” The heat. My Nordic blood prefers cooler days. So do my sugar snap peas. :(

“This week is the first time….”  I ate Swiss Chard. It rocks!

“I am grateful…” tonight is my last night of work for the week. There is so much to get done around the house with this being a short week due to the holiday last Monday.

Weekend Report 7/5/11

Thursday night my parents arrived on their 55th anniversary. We got them settled in and enjoyed an evening together.

Friday morning mom and I got up early and made 21 jars of strawberry jam. Her recipe doesn't use pectin and its fairly simple. Bring four cups of mashed berries and two cups of sugar to a boil, skimming off the foam. Cook for 5 minutes. Add two more cups of sugar and bring to a boil again. Continue skimming and cook for another 5 minutes. You have to cook the batches of berries in quarts, you cannot double the recipe or the jam won't set. We had two pots going at a time and on the other stove top burners, we processed and canned our jam.

We went out for lunch with dad and the boys after jamming and did a little shopping in the afternoon. Friday evening we enjoyed sandwiches and my sister and nephew came over to visit.

On Saturday, DS12 & G-Ma were suppose to participate in the Firecracker walk. Unfortunately a wind storm on Thursday night fell too many trees, and the race was postponed. We didn't learn of this until arriving Saturday morning for the race. DS12 was disappointed, but we'll head back to K-town next weekend for the rescheduled race. We still spent a great day with G-Ma hanging out in K-town and saw some incredible tree roots.

Sunday we drove down to my brother's house for my niece's graduation party. It was wonderful to see extended family and the weather cooperated beautifully.

Monday the 4th back home, we spent the morning at the parade. Afterward we had lunch out and then came home to digest and cool off. The fireworks at dusk were amazing. I'm always impressed at how our small town pulls off such a huge firework show. It feels like you are watching a non-stop finally. Every year it just keeps getting bigger.  

Now I'm trying to get back to the usual, but its slow going. At least tomorrow is Wednesday already. :)

Heading down to Main Street for the parade this morning. My favorite part always comes in the beginning when the veterans carry our flag out front. Thinking of all the sacrifices so many have made to give me "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness", always makes me emotional.

Why I'm Glad I Can Use The Bathroom Alone

Last night at work, I overheard this conversation coming from behind the restroom door.

"Mom, did you go pee or poo?"

"Pee."

"Really, because it smells like you went poo."

"Shhh!!!"

"Why are you telling me to 'shhh'?"

Don't you just love the honesty of children? I'm so glad my own are grown, and I have the privilege of using the restroom alone. I can remember when they were little, and I'd worry they'd open the door before I was done. Thankfully, they didn't feel the need to discuss my bodily functions! LOL!

I feel for parents. When nature calls, we have little choice but to bring our babes with us. You can't leave them alone. I felt a little guilty using the handicap stall, but they were usually big enough for the stroller. There should be more family friendly restrooms.

I remember when my boys didn't want to use the "ladies" room anymore. If my husband wasn't around, I'd stand by the "men's" room door, anxiously waiting for their safe return. (I told them to scream if they needed help and I'd bust in.) I'd eyeball the men coming and going. I'm sure they thought I was a strange agent, but I didn't care.

We'd always try to use the restrooms near where the employees were working; the check outs, the customer service area. I'd remind the boys not to speak to strangers, stay with the cart and I'd be as quick as possible.

Answering nature's call shouldn't be stressful, but when you are a parent, it can be quite the adventure.

What's Up

I've been meaning to write, but every time I start to, it seems that something negative is coming out. I don't want to complain or foster further feelings of disappointment, so I'm sticking to what my mother taught me, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

So trying to focus on the positive, here's some news:

The garden is growing. Funny how it seems I'm out there almost daily but somehow still missed that we have already a cucumber growing along with a few baby green sweet peas and grape tomatoes. They must have been camouflaged or I just wasn't looking closely. We're in zone 4/5 so I've had to be patient. The lettuce is doing great, and the baby spinach has already been consumed. The basil is up along with the spring onions, but part of the row of cilantro is missing. Either bad seed or something got into it and ate it already. I still have part of the row, so it won't be a complete loss. One of the heirloom zucchinis is a conjoined twin. I can't wait to see how that veggie grows and what it will end up looking like.

Notes for next year - skip the lettuce and just plant baby spinach. It tastes so good in smoothies! Plant the sugar snap peas EARLIER! I also want to expand the beds to be bigger and plant garlic in the fall. Maybe we'll even try to grow popcorn!

DS15 has been making short films. I wish I could post them for you to enjoy. His latest one was really good, but I don't have permission to share it. It features several of his friends and involves a possessed disc golf frisbee. Hopefully everyone involved will grant permission for it to be posted on Youtube soon and then I can share it.

DS15 also has been working on creating an art studio in the garage. I wish we had a room in the house that we could designate to be our art workshop. The garage doesn't have great lighting and it will be too cold to work in the winter.

DS12 has been working out, getting ready for his first Firecracker walk with G-Ma this coming weekend. He's thinking he may want to start running to take his fitness goals even further.

I'm enjoying my new work schedule. Although I have to start earlier, I get off earlier so I am able to see DH before he goes to bed. Speaking of work, I better get cruising to it. I'll try to check in more regularly, maybe even posting some of the not so nice news once I can process it in a more positive light.

Take care!

Making home made thin crust pizza, followed by creating a home made squirrel proof, bird feeding stand. Its just one of those days I feel like getting my hands into it.

I saw my first firefly of the season tonight. Happy Midsommar!

I'm reading How To Think Like Leonardo Da Vinci, Seven Steps To Genius Every Day, by Michael J Gelb. What are you reading?

Weekend Report 6/20/11

Is this really Monday? I'm coming off from a wonderful weekend.

Friday night I made DH his favorite home cooked meal to start our Father's Day weekend off right, haddock, smashed spuds with garlic and sweet corn. He loved it. We chilled out at home, watching a few episodes of House Hunters International and playing games with the boys.

Saturday we slept in, then got up to enjoy brunch and a little shopping out with the boys. I found a new comforter for our bed on sale at Kohl's, and I had an additional coupon for 20% off the sale price. Its been so long since we've had a blanket that wasn't a hand me down! 

Saturday night DH & I had date night. We drove to Slinger, Wisconsin for Slinger Rockfest. Our main purpose was to see Blind Melon! We arrived around 4:30 even though the festival started at 3:00pm. To our surprise, hardly anyone was there! We ended up with a parking spot in front, and had no problem walking right up to the stage rail for a great spot for the show. Most of the existing crowd was Ace Frehley fans in lawn chairs.

We saw The Love Hammers perform. Their lead singer is Marty Casey, who appeared on that show Rock Star INXS. The Love Hammers gave a great performance despite having to play to such a sparse crowd.

Next we saw The Last Vegas. I wasn't as impressed. Some of their songs were good, but about half were boring, generic rock.

Next up was our boys! By this time, the Melonheads equaled the number of Ace Frehley fans, however the Ace fans had arrived earlier with lawn chairs. I have never seen this at a concert before. They placed their lawn chairs in the middle and either sat in them the entire time, or would leave their chair empty, hoping it would be there when they returned. At one point a Melon fan asked if she could stand in the front just for Blind Melon, promising to move before Ace came on. She was denied, which was stupid because where she wanted to stand were two empty chairs. Those two Ace fans were absent the entire Blind Melon set.

If you are going to a concert, make an effort to connect with the performers even if you are not familiar with their music!! Those Ace fans sat in their lawn chairs the entire time, many with bored looks on their faces. I wasn't familiar with The Lovehammers or Last Vegas, but I stood up and payed attention.

We were positioned to the right of the stage and it was awesome when Travis, our band's lead singer jumped off the stage to walk over to us and sing to us! Another band member, Brad, recognized us and pointed us out from the stage!

"I see some long time Blind Melon fans are here tonight! Thank you!"

I was happy they knew we were there to support them, even if rude Ace fans, sitting in their lawn chairs were trying to kill the rock buzz. Here's video of one song, I Wonder. Notice the buzz killing Ace fans sitting in the front, ruining prime rock real estate. (We're just out of camera range on the right.)

Karma justice came when Ace decided he wasn't ready to go on, so our boys got to play extra long!!!

We made it home Saturday night, bringing home our gamers some late night donuts. We hung out, processed the concert and played games with our sons.

Sunday, after sleeping in once again of course, we got up to take DH to Outback for Father's Day. DMIL joined us and we had a great lunch.

Afterward we hit a used book store, followed by a free ice cream sundae for dad at Culvers. He actually gave me the sundae and ordered himself a shake. :) As good as hot fudge sundae's are, I have to remember how they make me feel afterward. I must stick to fruit & yogurt smoothies only! OUCH!

Sunday evening we digested. :) We chilled out, watching TV, playing a board game called Gambler, and watched a cheesy scare 80's movie, Waxwork.

We had such a great, full, fun weekend, but I wish it could have been longer.

In less than 24 hours, Blind Melon bliss with my Soul One. I can't wait!!

I Need Distractions

Cement trucks at 7:00am are not what I have in mind. Doesn't my village have a noise ordinance?

Maybe I'm just misdirecting my anger?

Yesterday I discovered the neighbor living behind us is a registered sex offender. In 1998 he plead guilty to second degree sexual assault of a child. He served 6 months and 7 years of probation. Now he's living behind us with his wife and baby.

I don't know the details. Could this have been a case of statutory rape? Maybe, but he would have been in his late 20's. The CREEP factor is still evident.

I'm trying to focus on the fact he made it through his probationary period without any trouble. He's a father now, and I do see an older woman visit his house almost everyday to help him with the baby.

I know it is better to know than not know, and actually, its the ones you don't know about that pose a greater risk. My neighbor has to register for life and be accountable.

I was angry yesterday learning all of this, but today I'm realizing, we're all still safe. This man has lived behind us for a year now and nothing has happened. My children know how to keep themselves safe. They actually took the news so much better than I did.

If you are interested in learning about offenders living near you, check out www.familywatchdog.us

If you are interested in looking up court records in Wisconsin, check out  http://wcca.wicourts.gov/index.xsl

I'm ready to move pass my anger today. I'll do this by staking my tomato plants!

I have other plans for distractions. We'll be working on a Father's day gift for DH, details of which I obviously cannot share at this time.

I'm going to focus on my family and my home.

Contagious brain cloud warning. I knew I've had it for a few days and this morning I see evidence I have passed it along to my offspring.

Educational Neglect Vs. Educational Nurturing (Unschooling)

"There's a fine line between educational neglect and unschooling." The person who said this, obviously does not understand exactly what unschooling is.

Educational neglect to me means you have failed to respect the natural instinct of every human being born with a curious, willful drive to learn about the world around them. Unschoolers look for ways to feed and facilitate this process rather than try to get in the way and control it.

For example, educational neglect is forcing a child to struggle to learn to read before they are ready, causing the child a great deal of stress and frustration during which the child learns to hate reading and develops self esteem and confidence issues. The Unschooler models reading from the day their child is born and trusts that in doing so, their child will naturally one day be curious enough to figure out what those words on the page are capable of.

I did not "teach" my children to read, yet they are reading books on their own now. It began with holding my baby in my lap and reading a picture book together. It continued with weekly trips to the library loading up the wagon with books. 3 books before bedtime was our thing, allowing us quality family time before drifting off to sleep. As they grew older, it was naturally more easy to begin to recognize words they saw on a regular basis. If they couldn't read something on their own, I read it for them.

Eventually, the natural progression of independence emerged as my children grew, ensuring that my children wanted to read on their own. Did this happen at age 5? No. I RESPECTED my children's own growth and development. I tried my best not to force them into something they just were not ready for. This is not neglect. This is nurture.

Being with them, truly knowing my children's desires, helped me find pathways for them to accomplish their goals. If I were a neglectful parent, I would not be so connected to them, involved in their lives and their interests.

I trust my children will learn what they need to, and they trust me because I'm the kind of parent who not only puts their needs first, but does so with love and respect. Spiders used to freak me out until my then 5 year old was fascinated with them. I overcame my fear and learned quite a bit about spiders, right alongside my son.

The person who said unschooling was educational neglect did so because he believed in order to learn, you have to know how to read. Reading is one way of learning information, but not the only way. In fact, some people learn better using other methods. An Unschooling parent understands this.

There are so many different ways to receive information and process it. As an Unschooling parent, you create an environment that allows for a safe, secure place in which your child may accomplish this. The definition of an unschooling parent is anything but neglectful because they often end up having no choice but to be very aware of who their children are and what they need.

For years, I made waffles and they watched me. One day, they wanted to place the waffles in the toaster themselves. Later they wanted to know where waffles came from. Where does the store get them? How do they make them at the Eggo plant? Can we make our own waffles? As the unschooling parent I was there, engaged and ready to help them find the answers they needed. Today they make their own waffles and sometimes make one for me too. :)

If I were a neglectful parent, I wouldn't help them find the answers they seek. If I were neglectful, I wouldn't allow them to use the toaster or take them to the grocery store. I wouldn't go to the effort to find a recipe for homemade waffles and gather ingredients. If I were truly neglectful, I would see we need food but decide I'm not going to provide any. 

An unschooling parent doesn't have to push their children into being curious and creative. Everyone is naturally born this way. An unschooling parent respects this and nurtures their child to allow them to become the autodidact they were born to be.

This Family Made My Night

I wish I would see more examples of good parenting like what I witnessed last night. A little boy began to cry and whine as his parents tried to leave the pool. The father had the patience to ask the little boy, "Please tell me what you are feeling with words so I can understand."

The boy tried to find the words, but returned to crying. The father asked his son in a soft, patient, loving voice, "Do you want to start over?"

The boy stopped crying, took a breath and then found the few words he needed to communicate to his parents that he wanted his older sister to be able to finish reading him the story she had been sharing with him.

The father replied, "Okay," and the sister picked up the book and finished reading. With respect and understanding, they waited for the story to finish before packing up their family.

This was so refreshing! To see a family respecting and supporting each other, rather than trying to control one another.  They understood this experience, the time requirement, it was all an investment in their relationship with each other. They were willing to be in the moment, to stop and adapt rather than worry about control.

What difference would it really make if they left the pool a few minutes later? None really. What difference would it really make if they listened to the needs of their children? Trust and respect continually built upon, establishing a foundation for your family's healthy future, that's the payoff.

I'm liking this rumble, but I need more precipitation.

Un-Scheduling

One question we unschoolers get often is, "What does a typical day look like in your home?"

For us, there is no typical day. Of course there are tasks and habits we follow each day, (we eat, play, clean, rest, in any given order), but we very much go with the flow where the river of life takes us.

I actually prefer not scheduling things to the clock. I may wake up and decide I want to go to the library, but I want the freedom to decide when it FEELS like the right time to go. So much of our living and learning is based on respecting what our minds and bodies need at the moment.

We try to connect to ourselves and each other, in such a way that we are ready to receive all that life has to offer. We're not running on autopilot when we are engaged. I believe we learn better this way.

In order to be able to connect and engage, we have to tend to our needs. We sleep when sleepy, we eat when hungry, we move when we feel kinetic. Our bodies and minds have their own biological clocks and this internal time piece changes as our needs change. Sometimes its more wound up than at other times. There are times we are excited to ride the rapids and other times we drop anchor or relax through calmer waters.

This is one reason why scheduling doesn't work so well for us. Not much in our lives is constant. We expect change and crave it. I think this has helped us learn to be very adaptive. I also believe this is why we tend to be successful in our pursuits. Aside from the obvious, we are passionate about our interests, the evolutionary process sometimes required to move through and towards your goal FEELS right to us, because we are used to and expecting change. We are not living our lives prisoner to the clock.

Following our own time tables does not mean we are disrespectful of the needs of others around us. Ask my boss how many times I've been late for work. She'll tell you I usually end up showing up a few minutes early before every shift. My son may appear to be a late sleeper, but our kitty has one of the cleanest litter boxes I've seen. He always cleans it first thing in the morning and before he goes to bed at night, without me having to ask him. He does this because he loves our cat and wants her to be healthy. He's found his own rhythm for getting done what he wants and needs to, while respecting the needs of others.

The portion of our time shared with others sometimes has to be scheduled, but this isn't difficult because so much of our time is exactly that, its OURS. We can balance that out.

I think if we were constantly scheduled we'd be exhausted and/or we'd have to switch to autopilot to function. We wouldn't be as creative because we'd worry about being in the box rather than outside of it.

Allowing ourselves the freedom to check within ourselves for what we're up for, helps us be more happy and healthy.

I Need A Time Machine

Don't worry. I wouldn't use it to pick up a sports almanac. I just have a few regrets in life.

My Uncle's pizzeria ~ How I wish I could have taken my husband and children there. It was a simple take out pizza place in Chicago, but I loved the smell of the place and of course the pizza was delicious. I regret not getting my uncle's recipe before he passed on. I could also use his advice right now on how to start a pizza business. There are no decent pizza places where we live now.

According to Doc Brown, we shouldn't try to see our future/past selves because it could disrupt the space-time continuum. I'm willing to risk this though to encourage my past self to stay home with son #1. I put him in daycare at 12 weeks and he was there until son #2 came along 3 years later. My oldest still has memories of daycare. He tolerated it, but didn't like it. I can't get those 3 years of my son's life back. I gave away those 3 years to daycare employees, and although they did a great job taking care of him, it wasn't the same as the unconditional love of a parent. (I also should have left my stressful full-time career for my own health reasons.)

Thinking of the boys, I wish I would have taken way more photos and video. In hind sight, having too many baby pictures is impossible.

Thinking of babies, I wish I wouldn't have waited to start our family. We waited for a certain income level before going for it, and didn't have our first child until age 27. I didn't know how difficult it was going to be to conceive and carry to full term. I'm grateful for the two I ended up with, and I suppose the Lord knew what He was doing. He probably spared my body and my marriage the stress of having a fuller nest.

Speaking of nests, although the boys are happy we live in a subdivision, (access to the neighborhood posse), I wish we would have invested in a farmette. More land to grow stuff, chickies laying eggs, I'm discovering there's a farm girl inside of me, feeling trapped by suburbia.

I think I'd also use the time machine to go back to age 18 and tell then boyfriend/future husband, "Let's go check out that Nirvana show." I'd also time travel back to Blind Melon shows. Its tragic those so talented are lost to artificial influences. Actually there are many artists I wish I could go back and convince them to change their lifestyles before its too late.

Whining Warning

Pain is the theme for me lately. I guess I'm being called to work through it and rise above, but will you allow me first to vent? (If not, stop reading, because I'm going to anyway.)

The holiday weekend began great, but on Saturday a van almost sideswiped us. As I saw the van about to hit us, I turned and tensed my body on instinct. Thankfully the cell phone distracted driver swerved back over before impact, sparing our car, but the damage to my body was done. I messed up my back and shoulder tensing up like that. I have chest pains every time I have to take a breath which basically is every few seconds if I want to live.

A headache followed and stayed for the duration of the weekend. I still have brain cloud this morning, although the pain has dulled a great deal. At one point, I was thinking - virus - because my joints all started to ache as well. My energy level was almost non-existent too.

Monday I used an Italian pottery dish to re-heat beans in the microwave. Apparently, Italian pottery is not microwavable. I grabbed the dish with my hand, instantly burning my thumb. Interestingly, the beans were still ice cold, while the dish was lava hot. I cannot imagine the suffering a burn victim must feel. I was in agony over my thumb.

Let's move on now to emotional pain. Yumi is very sick. I think its life threatening sick. I noticed over the weekend she had stopped eating. I was able to get her to drink a few sips of water, only to watch her throw up foam afterward. I anxiously waited to call the vet after the holiday weekend, and now it seems I can't get her in until Wednesday morning. Apparently there are a lot of sick fur babies in this town.

I have to stop beating myself up over this. I did not make her sick. I am not a vet. I can offer her the best care I can until her appointment. I smeared Nutri-cal on her fur hoping she'll lick it off. Its a high calorie gel that can sustain a cat nutritionally on a teaspoon or two a day. I've also tried to get her to lick up some fish oil. If cats lose weight too quickly, it damages their livers.

Right now she is still going about her usually activities, (except for eating and drinking), but I can tell she is dehydrating quickly. I hope she can make it the next 24 hours. I'll feel better if the vet can get some fluids into her tomorrow morning, although there has to be something seriously wrong with her.

I'm going to take it moment by moment today and try my best to find a place of peace rather than worry.

Confessions Of An Unschooling Mother

I'm not a saint. I'm not the mother of the year. I'm not that organized or insightful. Truth be told, its not that difficult.

I simply love them unconditionally and respect them. I use my best judgment to keep them out of harms way, but I've learned to let go and focus on what really matters, my relationship with them.

Everyday I tell them I love them and always show affection. Instead of kisses I get fist bumps and maybe an occasional "man hug", but I accept they are young men, not my little boys anymore.

I respect and trust them enough to not stand in their way. They've had to be patient with me as I've had to deschool myself and evolve from the type of parenting I was raised with.

When doubts began to sneak in, I learned that meant I wasn't spending enough time in their world. Directing my focus on them and not the outside world's expectations helped quickly eliminate any doubt our unschooling lifestyle was working beautifully.

I also learned there was an autodidact within myself that was just as anxious to learn about the world as they were. When your lifestyle follows your own passions, you can't help but model that for your children. Little did they know I learned how to do this from their example.

My children don't fight. They have disagreements, but they discuss them. I remember spraying my brother with Windex in anger along with throwing a set of keys at him nearly taking out his eye. My boys are better people than I was at their age.

My children will help out around the house, often without being asked to do so. I have never seen any teen rebellion in my boys. I think this is because we give them so much freedom along with respect.

I don't schedule their life. They can choose for themselves how their day plays out. Most times when we invite them to share an experience with us as a family, they op in.

Before you think my boys are Stepford children, I can prove otherwise by showing you the dust bunny colonies in their room.

We've just learned how to focus on the important things in life, loving and respecting each other. Once this was in place, the rest came so easy.

I've been watching a 4 inch baby bunny hop around my yard, eating dandelion stems like a little kid slurping up spaghetti noodles. It so cute, I think I may explode!

Fortune Cookies

Description:
We decided to make home made fortune cookies for our posse. The hardest part was coming up with fortunes! Its a must to do this well ahead of time because when baking and folding fortune cookies, you don't have much time.

Think up your fortunes, print them out, cut and fold into tiny strips. I must say my boys were much more creative than me.

Ingredients:
3 egg whites
3/4 C white sugar
1/2 C butter, melted and cooled
1 t vanilla
1 C flour
2-4 T water

Directions:
Preheat your oven to 350

Grease your baking sheet with butter or use non-stick spray

Beat the egg whites and sugar together until frothy.

Add the vanilla and butter.

Add in the flour and start with 2 T of water. The batter consistency you are looking for should be pancake or crepe like. Add more water if needed.

Spoon the batter onto your baking sheet and spread into 3 inch circles. Start with only 2 at first until you get the hang of it.

Bake until the edges are just golden, about 5-7 minutes.

Remove from baking sheet with a spatula and place the fortune in the middle. Fold the cookie quickly in half and then use the edge of a cup to bend into the typical fortune cookie shape.

Cool the cookies in a muffin tin so they retain their shape. Once completely cooled, they will set.

Be ready to act quickly. The cookies are only pliable when they are hot.

My son said they taste more like a "Christmas" cookie, and I suppose that's because this recipe uses butter. I'm sure fortune cookies from Chinese restaurants are made using oils.

When I make these again, I'm going to try and use our pancake batter holder and see if I can achieve much better circles that way.

Today Its The Little Things

The rain is so wonderful. Yes, its cold and dark, but it brings out the comforts of my nest.

His kiss waking me from my nightmare...

The smell of a freshly shampooed head...

Slippers, blankets, kitty heaters and cocoa....

Movies, music and written words....

The company of my free living lads...

Today's an awesome day to unschool.

Blind Melon at the Metro!!

Start:	Sep 4, '11
Location:	The Metro - Chicago

Are you kidding me!!! CHICAGO!! You know we'll be there.

Sandusky Road Trip May 2011

We're home now and I'm decompressing, with candles and a frozen pizza. Let's see if I can journal all of this out before I forget the details.

We left last Saturday for the Unschoolers Waterpark Gathering at the Kalahari in Sandusky. We had to cut our trip short since DH is really busy at work, but we still had a great time.

On the way we stopped in South Bend for lunch at Chick-Fil-A. For any Southern friends reading this, you must know our family loves Chick-Fil-A but the closest one to us is over an hour away. It was more than worth it getting off the highway to find the mall and find Chick-Fil-A.

It was a very nice mall, technically in Mishawaka. We saw Paul Blart, I'm not kidding! There was a security guard riding a Segway flirting with a woman at a kiosk. We saw him later stop at the mall's candy shop and load up. If you've seen the movie, I'm sure you'll understand why we were laughing inside. I really regretted not bringing in the video camera.

When we got to Sandusky, we were eager to see the lakefront and compare Lake Erie to our beloved Lake Michigan. It was a cold, rainy day, (which accurately describes the weather our entire visit,) and to our surprise, the lake was brown. I found out this was due to a certain type of algae, although I suspect it also has something to do with pollution. The area is known for coal shipping.

Downtown Sandusky/Cedar Point was also a disappointment. We were expecting a lakefront like Kenosha. It looked like they were trying to re-vitalize the downtown, but hadn't done much with the lake front. It seemed like Sandusky was full of tattoo parlors and tanning places. Of course it also seemed most of the population was young adults working at Cedar Point.

We skipped Cedar Point because the weather was terrible and we had to shorten our trip. Maybe we'll be able to fit this in next time.

The Kalahari was great, but honestly, we prefer the Kalahari in the Wisconsin Dells. They did have a few rides that were different, but the lazy river and wave pool were smaller. Plus they only had 2 spas. They were indoor/outdoor spas and that was neat. I spent a great deal of time allowing the warm water to keep my body warm while I allowed the cold rain to hit my face.

I lost count of how many times the boys went on the rides. We did spend most of our time in the waterpark, rather than at the conference, (insert guilt here). I did go on two rides, Victoria Falls and Swahili Swirl. The Victoria Falls raft ride left my stomach a little queasy having to go through a dark tunnel, not knowing which way the raft would turn. The Swahili Swirl was more fun for me, since it didn't completely go in the dark. After a quick drop, you enter a giant bowl and spin around until you go down the chute - yes - it was like being flushed! :) LOL 

We ate out a lot, but we also did a lot of swimming. How can you not eat out on vacation and swimming makes you very hungry. One of our favorite places was Tofts Dairy. Its a 100 year old dairy that processes milk from local, hormone free farms. The business has been in the same family all these years. They have an ice cream parlor to beat all others, 50 flavors! We ordered smalls but you wouldn't know it from the photo. I had chocolate almond, DS12 vanilla, DS15 Philadelphia Freedom(mint), DH Holy Toledo (caramel with caramel sauce and caramel bits). If we ever have the chance to be in Sandusky again, this place is a must stop. It seems very popular with locals and tourists.

At the Unschooling gathering, we did hear Pat Farenga speak on how important it is to let go and trust unschooling. It was a great booster. I hope we can attend this gathering again next year and stay for the full duration. I also hope we can encourage friends to join us. :)

We found a very cool used dvd/cd/video game store called the Exchange. We ended up going back 3 times during our stay because they had so much stuff to look through. I picked up a couple of Aimee Mann CDs, DH found a few he liked too, and the boys hit the jackpot finding 7 plus games, all for a dollar a piece! If we had this store here in Wisconsin, we'd be in trouble!

Unfortunately, we didn't find any good used book stores. :(

I did hit up CJ Banks at the mall since I had a coupon. Turned out it was good for 50% off my entire purchase so I picked up a few pieces for summer weather.

I knew I was homesick for Yumi when we saw a black and white kitty behind a Wendy's. I wanted to "rescue" her and name her Wendy of course, but in reality, there was no way to transport this sweetie back home. Plus my puma would not play nice with her I'm sure!

We managed to make it home, just slipping by the expected rush hour traffic of Chicagoland. Driving through Illinois was the worst of it, 7 tolls! Indiana and Ohio each only had 2, when you get on and when you get off. Later we'll log online to our I-Pass and really see which state cost us the most to drive through.

We knew gas would be most expensive in Illinois. It was $4.48!  We gassed up in Wisconsin before we left at $3.89, skipping Illinois. Topped off in Indiana at $3.95 to get us to Sandusky, where gas was the cheapest over all $3.78. 

I suppose I'll be playing catch up with laundry but it's worth it. We had a wonderful 5 full days of family time!

Be Who You Are ~ I saw this tattooed on a very cool unschooling mama's back and I'm adopting it as my new mantra. Its as simple as that. Be Who You Are.

Sandusky May 2011

Best ice cream place on earth, hands down! These are SMALLS, I'm not kidding! 50 flavors all made from hormone free milk at a 100 year old dairy.

Our road trip to the Kalahari Sandusky for the Unschoolers Waterpark Gathering

Random Thoughts

Note to husband - hiding the caramel chocolitas next to my fruit smoothie supplies was not the best choice.

Hiking in 90 degree heat in your sandals for the first time after a long cold winter, not a good choice either. Ouch! Blister! I guess I need to get my feet summer ready.

I think its pretty cool the humming birds have found the feeder but the wasps have not. Its only moved a few feet, but apparently the wasps have poor eyesight or strong chemical sensors to last year's spot.

We're converting 8mm tape to the computer and after watching footage from years ago, I'm more motivated than ever to purge. When the boys were younger, we had so much room to move around. Its amazing how much stuff you accumulate in life. We were perfectly happy playing around on the ground with our pillows and blankets. Furniture could be over rated. I'm going to re-think this. 

I'm finding it actually sad viewing these tapes and wondering where these little boys went. I have young men with deep voices now. I want to reach through the camera and squeeze their cute little heads.

I just heard thunder!!! Awesome!! Please rain!! The garden is planted, and the seeds are thirsty.

I hope I can still find tomato and pepper plants after we return from our trip this weekend. I don't want to plant them now and have to worry about someone being around to water them.

Yeah! Its raining!

I think I'll go brew some wine coolers, I mean youthberry orange blossom tea. It might be a nice treat to bring some to work with me to sip.

One more thought - Osama Bin Robin, feel free to start targeting the obnoxious camper my neighbor down the street has decided to park in front of our house instead of his. 

Its amazing to me. When the deciduous trees decide its time once again for leaves, they seem to pop out over night. How quickly the world can green up.

Added a tangerine flavored Emergen-C to a glass of Youthberry & Wild Orange Blossom iced tea and it tastes like I'm drinking a wine cooler at 9:30am instead of a health drink. Is this a good thing?

Weekend Update 5/9/11

Friday - Headed up to Oshkosh for the WPA conference. Hosted Apples To Apples gathering and was surprised at our huge turn out. Many more teens than I had expected, yet I suspect a couple of local college kids wandered in to join us.

I really don't like that WPA basically has the conference in a UW Oshkosh dorm. They may call it a "conference center", but its a dorm. I resent how the "conference director" also tries to turn our conference into a promotion/recruitment weekend for UW Oshkosh. The campus is depressing with liquor stores literally across the parking lot from the dorms. Not exactly family friendly.

Our night at the hotel was brief because we're busy at the conference, but to me it felt long since I didn't sleep. I'm fighting off the scratchy throat & dry cough the rest of my family has already dealt with.

On pure adrenaline, I presented our two other workshops and then we attended the commencement gathering. Lunch followed and then we got some much needed fresh air at the zoo and park in Oshkosh.

We came home Saturday night and met G-Ma. Being tired we crashed on the couch for movies and I went to bed and finally slept.

Sunday was a double holiday for me, Mother's Day and my anniversary - 18 years married, 25 years together. It ended up being one of those days I wish I could record and do over and over.

Woke up and Pride & Prejudice was on. Is there a better way to wake up on your anniversary? After lingering in the love nest, I had a spinach banana strawberry smoothie - YUM! After being spoiled with gifts including gourmet blended tea from Teavana and chocolate, we headed out to lunch at Outback. After lunch we hiked at Magnolia Bluff and saw many early spring, forest wild flowers. Once back home, I spent the rest of the afternoon in the garden getting more veggies planted. After a fend for yourself supper or snack break, the boys watched Repo Man and I made caramel chocolitas. It was a perfect Mother's Day/Anniversary Sunday.

On the agenda this week, get the video loaded to the computer, finish planting the garden and finish all errands before next weekend when we head to Ohio. I'm hoping the Unschoolers Waterpark Gathering is more welcoming and inspiring than the WPA homeschooling conference was.

One more thing, Mr. Crazy Robin has an official name courtesy of GMa - "Osama Bin Robin." He also now has an accomplice. Hopefully I'll figure out how to share video soon. 

There are NOT caramel chocolitas in the kitchen. There are NOT caramel chocolitas in the kitchen. There are NOT caramel chocolitas in the kitchen. There are NOT caramel chocolitas in the kitchen.......I wish I had a sponsor to call who could come over, wrap up the caramel chocolitas and bury them back in the deep recesses of my freezer. For some reason, treats left on the counter are picked at, but treats sent to the forgotten twilight zone of my freezer bring me balance. You may say having the sponsor remove the treats from my home entirely would be better, but actually that only makes me want to make more. Knowing they are in the freezer actually keeps me from baking more, yet I don't eat them. I need to know they are available so I don't have that fear of lacking, yet I still need them out of sight out of mind. Will I ever figure this out?!