Educational Neglect Vs. Educational Nurturing (Unschooling)

"There's a fine line between educational neglect and unschooling." The person who said this, obviously does not understand exactly what unschooling is.

Educational neglect to me means you have failed to respect the natural instinct of every human being born with a curious, willful drive to learn about the world around them. Unschoolers look for ways to feed and facilitate this process rather than try to get in the way and control it.

For example, educational neglect is forcing a child to struggle to learn to read before they are ready, causing the child a great deal of stress and frustration during which the child learns to hate reading and develops self esteem and confidence issues. The Unschooler models reading from the day their child is born and trusts that in doing so, their child will naturally one day be curious enough to figure out what those words on the page are capable of.

I did not "teach" my children to read, yet they are reading books on their own now. It began with holding my baby in my lap and reading a picture book together. It continued with weekly trips to the library loading up the wagon with books. 3 books before bedtime was our thing, allowing us quality family time before drifting off to sleep. As they grew older, it was naturally more easy to begin to recognize words they saw on a regular basis. If they couldn't read something on their own, I read it for them.

Eventually, the natural progression of independence emerged as my children grew, ensuring that my children wanted to read on their own. Did this happen at age 5? No. I RESPECTED my children's own growth and development. I tried my best not to force them into something they just were not ready for. This is not neglect. This is nurture.

Being with them, truly knowing my children's desires, helped me find pathways for them to accomplish their goals. If I were a neglectful parent, I would not be so connected to them, involved in their lives and their interests.

I trust my children will learn what they need to, and they trust me because I'm the kind of parent who not only puts their needs first, but does so with love and respect. Spiders used to freak me out until my then 5 year old was fascinated with them. I overcame my fear and learned quite a bit about spiders, right alongside my son.

The person who said unschooling was educational neglect did so because he believed in order to learn, you have to know how to read. Reading is one way of learning information, but not the only way. In fact, some people learn better using other methods. An Unschooling parent understands this.

There are so many different ways to receive information and process it. As an Unschooling parent, you create an environment that allows for a safe, secure place in which your child may accomplish this. The definition of an unschooling parent is anything but neglectful because they often end up having no choice but to be very aware of who their children are and what they need.

For years, I made waffles and they watched me. One day, they wanted to place the waffles in the toaster themselves. Later they wanted to know where waffles came from. Where does the store get them? How do they make them at the Eggo plant? Can we make our own waffles? As the unschooling parent I was there, engaged and ready to help them find the answers they needed. Today they make their own waffles and sometimes make one for me too. :)

If I were a neglectful parent, I wouldn't help them find the answers they seek. If I were neglectful, I wouldn't allow them to use the toaster or take them to the grocery store. I wouldn't go to the effort to find a recipe for homemade waffles and gather ingredients. If I were truly neglectful, I would see we need food but decide I'm not going to provide any. 

An unschooling parent doesn't have to push their children into being curious and creative. Everyone is naturally born this way. An unschooling parent respects this and nurtures their child to allow them to become the autodidact they were born to be.