Recovering From My Stupidity

Was it my frugality, or my procrastination? The jar of homemade cranberry sauce from Easter had been pushed way back to the nether zone of the fridge. Without getting down on my knees and using my arms to push aside the more popular chilled consumables, I had forgotten it was there.

Deciding it was way past due to clean out the fridge, I found it, red on the bottom, gray green on top. Since it was a Ball canning jar, I decided to clean it out rather than chuck it. Unscrewing the cap and popping off the lid, I found the gray green fuzzy layer actually kind of interesting, but decided it needed a trip down the disposal.

Here's where my brain fails me. I turn on the water to rinse the jar and watch in awe as the gray green mold erupts into a cloud over my kitchen sink. I see infinite particles floating, dancing in the air illuminated by the sun shinning through the window. As I watch this work of art, I realize I'm probably breathing these little guys directly into my lungs.

I felt okay until after supper. The extreme fatigue came first, followed by a headache, no a headPAIN that hit migraine status in record time. I remember telling DH, if you have to take me to the hospital in the middle of the night, tell them it was mold grown on cranberry sauce and then I passed out.

Thankfully, I did wake up feeling much better. Lesson learned- always clean out the ENTIRE fridge every Monday, (garbage day), and the price of a new jar is worth it.

Since DH designs refrigerators now, I think I'll suggest  a computer tablet built in to the door where you could type in what's in there and when you put it in. A calendar could alert you before science experiments begin to grow. It should also print off shopping lists!

I'm Ready For My Throat Transplant Now

I pulled an all nighter with Yumi watching her favorite scary movie, Sleepwalkers, among several others. After trying for 4 hours to fall asleep, I decided I've give DH a break and take my hacking elsewhere. I sat upright, sipping gallons and gallons of tea and water, hoping this dry cough would turn off. Now either from the mass consumption of beverages or the ab crunching coughing, it feels like my kidney stones want to know where the party is.

Contrary to the above opening paragraph, I actually am in good spirits. Your brain must trigger feel good hormones when you're lacking so much sleep. Or maybe its because I know there is nothing I have to do or anywhere I have to go. If I feel like attempting to sleep later, I can.

I should be cleaning because DMIL is coming tomorrow and being sick all this past week, you wouldn't believe how the dust bunnies have all come out to keep me company. I'll wait and see if I feel like it later or not. I'm telling you I have this C'est La Vie attitude today. Again, is it the sleep deprivation?

I did feel like I had hit the wall earlier and the little girl in me wanted her mommy. When she actually called me out of the blue, it was the power of Mommy Love, Man! Its amazing how somehow she knew to call me at that moment. I hope I have this with my kids.

Speaking of kids, mine are up now, so I'm off to see if I can score any "I'm sick, won't you hug me" points. Hope you have a great Friday and thanks for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers for recovery! 

 

Counting My Blessings The Past 24 Hours....

I'm grateful that.....

There was still cranberry juice in the fridge.

My DMIL got my message and called me back, sharing her wisdom.

I have a wonderful husband, willing to drive me to Walgreens and not batting an eye when I buy more than one over the counter remedy in desperation.

I didn't have to prepare a family meal or do dishes when my wonderful husband took us out to eat.

I'm not color blind.

The Mercy Urgent Care clinic is open until 9:00pm on Sunday nights.

An understanding husband who convinces me its okay to see a doctor and not suffer.

The caring receptionist who bumped me into first position before I passed out from the pain.

My sample gave no doubt, to anyone's naked eye, you could see something was really wrong!

The physician assistant who faxed over the prescription without delay.

Walgreens was still open for business.

My DH still drove, while I could curl up in the fetal position in the back seat.

My wonderful sons, who continued to follow through with my expectations even though my medical crisis could have given them a free pass to slack off.

There's a bathroom very close to my bed!

I have a loving husband who will bring me drugs at the right times and keep pushing me to drink when all I want to do is curl up and cry like a baby.

I have an understanding boss!

The medicine has begun to make the scary color go away and diminished the razor blade, stabbing needle pain.

And most of all, a loving God who answers prayers and holds my heart during all of it!

Happy Pi Day!

I am not baking any pies or circular foods today. This weekend isn't going as planned, but sometimes you just have to roll with it.

We have finished the dry wall taping, but before we could sand and prime, the cold virus took over. DH & I have spent most of the weekend resting and blowing our noses. Perhaps today we'll have more energy.

The boys are over their colds. DS11's been into Yu-Gi-Oh once again. Last summer he wanted to sell all of his cards, but had no takers at the yard sale. Now for some reason, he's really into playing again.

The snow's just about all melted away, and I'm amazed at how my flattened bushes have sprung back up. We have lots of rabbit raisins in the yard, and I asked DS14 if he'd like to help me sweep them up and into the garden for fertilizer. Can you believe he said no?

We saw our first cardinal at our feeder. I hope he comes back and brings his friends. We're going to try and built our own platform feeder soon. The Canadian geese are back, but thankfully, they don't stop in our yard. We've even seen a few Sandhill cranes flying overhead. I'm bummed the field they used to hang out in next to us is now developed with new homes. I wonder where the cranes will hang out now. I can hear them in the area, but I don't know where they are.

We're happy to report our basketball hoop is still standing. Every spring the ground gets so mushy, we're afraid one of these years it will fall over. March Madness has us all inspired to be out shooting hoops.

If DH is still unemployed, I'm sure March Madness will distract him. He used to want to take days off from work to watch the games. This year, he won't have to. -Now that I've said that, please let a job offer come in!!

It seems unbelievable that its been 5 months we've been in unemployment survival mode. I really didn't think it would be this long, but I hear about so many people being unemployed for a year or more. I'm grateful we'll made it this far, but it's still very stressful.

My Sleepyhouse crew is starting to get up. According to the clock, I should be making lunch not breakfast. Daylight savings always screws us up. Have a great Pi day!


 

Tuesdays Ramble...

The boys are still sick, but they are on the mend. I hope they feel back to normal soon. They aren't sleeping too well, but when you have a head cold, you're stuck in that catch 22. You need the sleep to get better, but you can't sleep because you can't breathe laying down.

I need to catch amnesia. I need to forget how much I love chocolate covered dried cranberries. I need to forget Tenuta's exists. They make the best chocolate covered candy. There seems to be an extra thick layer of chocolate on every piece!

We stopped at Tenuta's last Sunday when we drove to K-Town to check on G-Ma's cat. We never saw the cat, but did see evidence it was still alive. We also treated ourselves to Kenosha, Wisconsin, thin crust pizza. K-town thin crust is different than New York style thin crust. The crust is cracker crispy. No folding allowed!

I need to kick into gear and get some serious spring cleaning done. I know I'll feel better for getting it done, but at the time it seems so overwhelming. I just need to take one thing at a time.

How do you tell someone you love immensely that his version of Oscar the Grouch has to go?  For now, I'm going to practice grace and try to see past it. I can only change me.

I'm thinking of going back to being a vegetarian. I was for a few years, but I didn't really do it nutritiously. I was substituting meat with too many prepared soy based foods. I think I'll slowly go back, one healthy meal at a time until I have an arsenal of healthy choices.

I'm motivated to work this change after seeing the Academy awards. I haven't seen the film, The Cove, but just the trailer upset me so. I cannot believe anyone in the world would eat dolphin. As I sat there judging this Japanese town, I realized what a hypocrite I was. I don't eat dolphin, but how is eating other animals any different? If I raised chickens or cows, I don't think I could slaughter and eat them. I could on the other hand, grown a garden full of veggies and not feel any guilt.

Speaking of gardening, its time to start collecting more supplies. The boys have promised to help me make more square foot gardens this year. If we add a few more raised beds each  year, eventually we'll get there, to my dream of having less grass and more plants.

I was trying to read our village ordinances regarding registering your yard as a "natural" restoration project, but it was very confusing. You can't just stop mowing your grass and let it go wild. You can only keep certain plants. It has to look "good" and since we're on a corner lot, we have to maintain a certain vision angle I can't quite figure out yet. (Cars have to be able to see to turn.) For now, I think it will be easier to replace our grass with veggie gardens. I just can't grow anything over 2 feet tall on the corners.

Well, I better get moving. I may not have a dog to walk, but I think I may have convinced a certain grouch to walk with me.

He's Got The Suds....

We'll have to miss our home school posse today. That cold virus I kicked rather quickly last week has unfortunately set up production in DS14. Although he did drink an Emergen-C yesterday, I can't convince the kid to try my other homeopathic remedies. Maybe I should make garlic bread only this time, I'll add the garlic raw, after the bread's been toasted. Think he'll notice?

Yumi has spring fever. She's been attacking our legs when we try to walk, like she did when she was a kitten. Even though she's not an outside cat, she thinks she is. She'll sit by the door and meow to be let out. Its not going to happen cat, so give it up.

She's been tricking us into over feeding her. We usually feed her twice a day, 1/4 cup of kibble in the morning and 1/4 cup at night. She's been waking up DS14 at 6:00am and he'll give her the 1/4 cup. I would get up after 7:30am, her dish would be empty and I'd think I needed to feed her. Now we are writing down when we've fed her so she can't trick us humans into giving her more. I knew she was trying to pull something similar at night. DH would feed her at supper time. 15 minutes before I get home from work around 9:30pm, she'd chow down the rest on the plate so I would walk in the door and think she hadn't been fed. Its strange as if she can almost tell time.

I started reading Everything Bad Is Good For You by Steven Johnson. I'm early into it, but I think I'm going to enjoy this book. The chapter I'm at examines the "books are better than games" debate. Mention your child reads books all day and most people will think highly of your child. Mention your child plays games all day and most people will think your child is less intelligent.

When you examine this stereotype closer, children playing games are often using critical thinking, and social interaction. They have to use their brains to make decisions which will reflect the outcome of their game. Many games are played in groups, (online gaming), so it can be said gamers also must use socialization skills.

When a child reads a book they follow the story's lead, not their own. The reader has to go where they are taken. Most reading is done solitary, without group interaction.

This is not to say reading books is not as good as playing games, or vice verse. It simply points out how we need to question these stereotypes and open our minds to alternatives.   

My workout partner is up and running. I better get moving myself and join him. Have a great day!   

Going Out Like A Lion

It is the end of March, not the beginning correct?

We were slammed with an ice and snow storm last night. We thankfully didn't have to work so we stayed home, watching movies, making brownies and playing Scrabble. I also spent a great deal of time with my nose stuck in gardening books, trying not to look outside.

I had this really strange dream two women posing as police officers came to my door. I was suspicious and didn't open the door. I told DS10 to hide, and I called 911. A third female officer came to the door, scaring off the other two. I thought it was safe to invite her inside, however once in my living room, she pulled out a pistol and aimed at my head! I tried to grab for the gun, but it went off. The shot hit my neck and I could feel my artery burst open. I could also hear the blood pooling and gushing around.

She fled thinking she had killed me. DS10 came out of hiding and was obviously upset. I told him I loved him and to call Dad. I remember applying pressure to my neck and thinking I don't want to die! I can't leave my children!

I woke up with a sore throat! And the tonsil that hurts is the one where I was shot!!! LOL!! Think I'm a little stressed when it comes to getting sick?

I'm using my conscious thought today to realize its ok to get sick. I'll get better. I've fought off numerous colds and flu this season, I may beat this one as well. Hot tea and Emergen-C are on order and I have plenty of raw veg in the fridgy. I just have to remember to push those brownies away and choose broccoli instead.

Bittersweet Sunday

Only half our family was able to join the Christmas party today, myself and DS13. DH and DS9 went to Urgent Care.

My little man hasn't been feeling well for a week or so now. He seemed to be recovering, but then turned south again. A few days ago, he had a sore throat, but he didn't have a temperature. This morning he was 102 and he complained his neck hurt. About an hour later at the urgent care clinic, his temp was up to 103!

They gave him an antibiotic shot in the rump and took blood to check for meningitis. They also did a strep test, but that came back negative. His white blood cell count is through the roof.

The doctor wrote two prescriptions for pain, and I'm a little peeved a doctor would do this. She actually told DH it was safe to give DS9 both medicines at the same time, but the pharmacist warned DH not to do this! For the most part, regular dye free Motrin was working to relieve his discomfort, but apparently after two doctor's felt his uber swollen lymph node, they felt he must need something stronger.

We tried to give him the prescription acetaminophen with codeine and he threw it up. I'm not comfortable with trying the Naproxen either after reading all the side effects. Plus both these medicines are colored. DS9 doesn't tolerate dyes very well when he's ill.

Why must medicines be pretty!!!! Its a nightmare for those allergic. They do make a dye free Motrin now, and I'd like to think its because of all the letter writing I did when DS9 was younger.  

Once DS9 broke out due to the dye in an antibiotic. The doctor recommended Benedrill. Guess what stupid color it was!!! I was so angry. Talk about a catch 22, give more medicine that also has red dye in it!!! Crazy town!!!!!

DS9 is resting now. When I last checked his fever was 102 so I suppose perhaps the shot they gave him is working. We have been told we absolutely must bring him in to see his doctor in the morning and if he's not available, go back to urgent care. He needs to be seen within another 24 hours.

No one has said whether he has meningitis, but they tested to rule it out. I'm thinking they wouldn't have allowed DH to bring DS home if it was meningitis right? They told DH they thought it may be a bacterial infection of some kind. Hopefully they can tell us more in the morning.

Needless to say, I'm not getting any sleep tonight. I freak out when my babies are sick. The worry wart comes out, and I always think the worst. DH is more level headed and thankfully he was the one who took DS in to the urgent care clinic today.

I'll pray my little man improves. I'll be heartbroken if he has to be sick on Christmas.

It should be me not him!!

Random Tuesday stuff....

I over came my fear of spiders years ago, because my boys were fasinated by them. I found this girl with her huge orb web between our van and car one day. It was windy and a little tricky to get her photo, but aren't her markings remarkable? We seem to have a lot of larger sized spiders hanging around these days. I think they are well fed on the surge of grasshoppers we have.

We get hoppers every year but this year there seems to be more of them. Yumi got out the other day and she was having a blast hunting them down. She left us a big juicy one on the doorstep. Ewww!!!

As much as we try to keep Yumi indoors, she always tries to get out every chance she gets. I should get her micro chipped and get her a no choke collar, but I'd still worry she'd get run over by a car or attacked by another animal. I don't want her to kill birds or ground squirrels either.

Speaking of squirrels, I saw a bushy tailed tree squirrel for the first time in our yard. Our neighborhood never had large enough trees to attract them, but perhaps 6 years later, the trees have gotten tall enough now?

Its been so perfect to be outside in Wisconsin these days. It doesn't get much hotter than the upper 70's and at night its nice and cool, in the 50's!

Last night we took the garbage and recyclables out as a family, and it was dark out already. We started goofing off, playing zombie chase! It all started when DS12 asked if he could run a circle around the house in the dark. I couldn't resist and after he took off, I ran the other way to scare him in the dark!

We all started chasing each other and pretended to be modern day zombies, the type that actually run fast, unlike the original Night Of The Living Dead variety. We had a zombie contest and decided that I make the best scary zombie because of how my long hair blows in the wind. DS9 was the next best scary zombie because he could mess up his face and wave his arms really good. DS12 & DH just didn't have it. We kept cracking up every time they tried to look scary!

Of course now this morning, my throat is sore. I think I may be getting the cold that has been hanging around my house though. I've been drinking Emergen-C and eating garlic. This happened to me last time I had plans to see Blind Melon remember! I can't get sick!!

I'm trying to figure out what to make for lunch. The Posse Rats are here and I'm thinking of throwing in a few frozen pizzas to get them out of my freezer. Its the last week for the Posse Rats. School starts next Tuesday.

DS12 actually told me he is anxious for school to start so he'll have time to himself again to do his stuff! Right now I think he caves to peer pressure and choses to hang with the gang more often than he'd like. I'm looking forward to having my kids to myself again, along with the library emptying out and the parks to ourselves again. I love back to school time only for much different reasons than most!

I'm off to dig in the freezer. I hope this posts. My computer seems flaky.

This blog brought to you by Emergen-C....

Last night after playing kissy face with DH, I noticed my left tonsil started to feel funny.

"Baby, is your throat sore?"

"Nope." Hmmm...... It may in the near future.

Why is it only my left tonsil that hurts? I couldn't get much sleep because every time I swallowed, the pain brought me back to full consciousness. Its that razor blades slicing me open feeling that frightens me into thinking I may have strep. I don't think I've swallowed glass shards?

I broke down and took some Advil around 5:30am. I tried to doze some more, but it wasn't good sleep. I'm slamming back Emergen-C tangerine flavor.

I CAN'T GET SICK!!!! 

I'm the worse person when I think I'm getting sick. It stresses me out. I know illness happens, but I worry about not being able to meet my responsibilities when I'm ill. I think I learned this guilt from my days in school and my employers.

I had a college English professor threaten to lower your final grade for each day you miss his class. I showed up once with a roaring sinus infection, burning with fever and constantly blowing my nose. He glared at me the entire lecture and afterwards I told him if he gets sick its his own fault for threatening to lower my grade if I didn't show up.

I once worked for a company that said you could have 5 sick days. If you used 4, you were put on probation. If you used all 5 it could be grounds for dismissal. So you really only had 3 sick days a year. When my son got sick with chicken pox, I had to use my vacation time. When I was preggers, I kept plastic bags at my desk, throwing up between phone calls.

We really don't know how to treat illness in this country. Kids are sent to daycares and schools sick. People work sick for fear of losing their jobs. Its ridiculous. I should stay home myself, but since I'm expected to find my own sub, its not worth the constant phone calls I'd have to make. That's the first thing my boss will ask if I call in, "Did you find a sub?" If I tell her no and say I'm not coming in anyway, she'll be pissed. I'll take more Advil and spread the Love! LOL!

Actually maybe its not strep but just a cold virus. My nose has started to run so maybe my throat hurts because of drippage.

I hope I feel better by Friday!!! That's what really has me worried. How can I be sick and rock out? Maybe I'll have to resolve that I won't be stage front but sitting back on our beach blanket with a box of tissues.

OH!! EMERGEN-C DO YOUR MAGIC!!! 

Today needs to be good...

Maybe it was because it was a Monday. Maybe it was because I was getting sick. Maybe I just need an unschooling mom day away. (Don't worry, its coming soon.) Maybe it was because someone knocked off my chain, and I chased my kids around because Karen Black wasn't available.

My throat started feeling sore on Sunday and by Monday it was confirmed. I had something brewing. Determined not to miss my upcoming unschooling Pow Wow, I began to load up on Emergen-C, lots of hot tea and fresh fruit and veg. I also decided I needed rest. This formula has worked for me all winter.

Most of the day went according to plan. Then the Rats came. I had told the boys perhaps we could skip friends today. After all, the rats were here on Saturday from 10:30-5:30 and on Sunday from 10:30-2:30. The boys assured me they would be quiet so I could rest.

I went to lay down at 3:00pm. I never fell asleep. First the phone rang off the hook. The boys never answered it. Then the doorbell was non-stop. The real problem was the vent near my bed is right over the Boycave. I could hear every scream.

I lost it. I went downstairs and yelled for friends to go home. I didn't speak again to my children until their father arrived home.

I was so angry I didn't know myself. Maybe it was because my throat hurt or maybe it was because the boys very rarely disappoint me like this. I could tell the boys wanted to apologize but I wasn't ready to hear it.

In my head I was saying, "You have no respect for me! You knew I was not feeling well and wanted to rest! You said you would answer the phone and the doorbell! You said you could play quietly! I give you too much freedom! You don't think about anyone but yourself! MAYBE I SHOULD SEND YOU TO SCHOOL!"

This last thought shook me. I needed to call Dad.

"Dear Lord, I can't do this anymore. They don't respect me. I can't keep it all together. I'm getting sick, and I hurt! What am I going to do? I don't really want to send them to school. Punishment is not the answer. Why did this happen?!"

"One simply answer- You need to forgive them. They are 12 &  9 and they made a mistake. You made some too. You need to forgive them that's all."

Wow! He was so right! I needed to let go of the anger, let go of the self pity and forgive them. Most of the time they are wonderful, caring, compassionate young men. I blew it big time with my mommy temper tantrum.

The boys were in tears before DH got home. Supper was awkward even after I had told the boys I forgave them. It had put a damper on the entire evening even though we said what we needed to say to each other. I will never get back those few hours I gave to Darkside Dawn, when I could have been a loving mother instead of an angry one.

I prayed before I fell asleep and gave my throat pain away. I gave away all the stress and decided to "Let It Be".

This morning my throat feels a bit better and the boys are back to their normal unschooly selves. I'm on my way back to being my normal self too. Yeah! Thanks God!

Hear me roar....

Don't you love when you ask for something and you get it!! I heard the sounds of progress and snuck this snap through my window. The frozen solid icebergs have been moved from the front of our house! Yeah! Just in time for the 4 inches of fresh powder we'll get tonight.

Maybe it was my phone call, but I have a feeling our Post Master called to complain when dear Tom Letter carrier was hurt. It also could have been the lady who's house Tom was hurt at. She's actually the Post Master for the next town over. Anyway, I'm happy they took care of it before someone else was hurt. Our house is also a school bus stop and it hasn't been fun watching the cars slide through the intersection.

By bedtime DS12 was feeling sick like DS8. I guess we shouldn't have played in the snow. DS12 didn't sleep very well so he's crashed on the sofa. I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie and he said, "I just want something to make me feel better." Awwww! You know your child is sick when they don't even want to watch TV. At least DS8 seems to be back in action today so maybe this one won't hit us as a category 5.

I woke up with a headache which means my turn is coming. It will probably hit me full force tomorrow since its DH's birthday. I better bake the cake today and finish wrapping up his presents. If we don't take him out for supper, maybe we can still do carry out.

Hope you have a peaceful and blessed day!