Monday, February 28, 2011
Yumi, You Will Have To Move
I began installing our kitchen flooring this past weekend. Its been on the project list for quite a while, since last fall really. Its nothing fancy, but I like how it looks. I wanted something that looked like stone that would hide dirt. I was so tired of trying to keep our original floor looking clean. Its 15 years old and white. Keeping it looking good was an impossible task. I've made my boys promise one day if they are blessed with a wife, make sure she doesn't have a white floor to try and keep clean.
It wasn't in our budget to rip up the old vinyl and use real stone. With this peel and stick vinyl tile from Armstrong, we don't have to remove the existing vinyl. I really like that. With some old vinyl it can be dangerous to remove it if its older. It could have asbestos. Our vinyl isn't that old, but I still like that it doesn't have to end up in a landfill.
Installation is going in pretty easy. The only problem I'm having, other than keeping cat fur off the floor, is I keep staring at the tiles and trying to figure out how best to position them. I need to let go and go for a random look, but I'm obsessing, worrying about patterns popping out with the stone look. I'm sure I'd be faster if I didn't stare at each tile for several minutes.
I'm going to finish up the corner and then DH will move the heavy furniture tonight so I can continue working my way across the kitchen. DH will then be able to help me cut and install the transition pieces between our living room and kitchen. It may be taking time, but we'll get there.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Monday's Mumbling Musings
On icy days like this, I'm glad we can stay warm and safe in the Sleepyhouse. Well, my hatch-lings did. I had to scrape off the car and slide to the library to return some things.
I was rewarded though. I found the book Mini Farming Self Sufficiency On 1/4 Of An Acre by Brett Markham. I need to start thinking about seed starting soon.
Working with DH we made excellent purging progress around the computer desk and the table next to it. Visually it feels so good! I can't wait to install shelving above the computer desk area to ensure we can keep the desk clear of clutter.
Speaking of DH, I can now tell you the secret I've been keeping! Today is his first official day as a PERMANENT employee! No more contract work through the temp agency!!! Yeah!!! So today he is officially no longer UNEMPLOYED!!! YEAH!!!! I'm so happy for him. Its been 16 months since he was laid off. He's been working as a contract employee for 8 months, but we knew that arrangement could end before June.
He interviewed for the position on a Monday and was told they were going to interview other applicants for the next two weeks. Less than 24 hours later they offered him the position! So much for waiting 2 weeks!
DH thought he wasn't going to be offered the position because almost the entire current drafting department had applied as internal applicants. I knew he'd get it when they asked him during the interview, "How would you handle having to point out mistakes to the current drafters working below you?" They obviously were considering him even though he was an "outside" applicant. I knew he had the experience that would give him the advantage.
I'm hoping he can start to settle in and get comfortable once again. I think it still hasn't sunk in. They moved his work space to an official employee cubicle, but I think he's still operating with caution so to speak. I'll have to get used to him potentially working more than 40 hours a week, but at least at this job, he gets paid overtime! His previous employer did not and the contract temp agency wouldn't approve any overtime hours.
I can smell our baking bread rolls. I suppose I should go and check on them. That's another perk to being home on an icy day. I can bake and warm up the house!
Stay safe everyone!
I was rewarded though. I found the book Mini Farming Self Sufficiency On 1/4 Of An Acre by Brett Markham. I need to start thinking about seed starting soon.
Working with DH we made excellent purging progress around the computer desk and the table next to it. Visually it feels so good! I can't wait to install shelving above the computer desk area to ensure we can keep the desk clear of clutter.
Speaking of DH, I can now tell you the secret I've been keeping! Today is his first official day as a PERMANENT employee! No more contract work through the temp agency!!! Yeah!!! So today he is officially no longer UNEMPLOYED!!! YEAH!!!! I'm so happy for him. Its been 16 months since he was laid off. He's been working as a contract employee for 8 months, but we knew that arrangement could end before June.
He interviewed for the position on a Monday and was told they were going to interview other applicants for the next two weeks. Less than 24 hours later they offered him the position! So much for waiting 2 weeks!
DH thought he wasn't going to be offered the position because almost the entire current drafting department had applied as internal applicants. I knew he'd get it when they asked him during the interview, "How would you handle having to point out mistakes to the current drafters working below you?" They obviously were considering him even though he was an "outside" applicant. I knew he had the experience that would give him the advantage.
I'm hoping he can start to settle in and get comfortable once again. I think it still hasn't sunk in. They moved his work space to an official employee cubicle, but I think he's still operating with caution so to speak. I'll have to get used to him potentially working more than 40 hours a week, but at least at this job, he gets paid overtime! His previous employer did not and the contract temp agency wouldn't approve any overtime hours.
I can smell our baking bread rolls. I suppose I should go and check on them. That's another perk to being home on an icy day. I can bake and warm up the house!
Stay safe everyone!
Why Unschool?
http://whyunschool.info/?page=home
A wonderful site about unschooling written by two grown unschoolers.
A wonderful site about unschooling written by two grown unschoolers.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
What If We Represented Ourselves?
I have been so frustrated with government for so long now. Despite our right to vote, it rarely seems to be a representation of us. Government has actually taken the power from us and no longer represents our voice.
It seems ridiculous to me, in this day and age, that we vote to elect a representative into office and that person then makes all the decisions on our behalf. Well, they are suppose to make decisions based on OUR behalf, but of course their own agendas are what comes into play.
A person running for office will promise anything to get elected. Why don't we require them to draw up contracts and if they breach them, why can't we have them removed from office in a more easily fashion than impeachment or recall? This method would actually be too murky still.
I want a world in which we no longer have representatives, but rather we represent ourselves. In this information age, why can't we have more opportunities to vote on everyday issues? Can we set up a system where we are allowed to have our voices heard more frequently than every few years?
What if all bills must be considered for public vote? There's no more House or Senate, its just us. Couldn't we figure out a way to develop a system to allow all of us to more collectively figure out what is fair? Can't we find a secure way to use our computer technology to allow the general public access to a fair exchange of ideas? (Leave the media and lobbyists out of it!)
I'd love to be able to read bills and vote on them using my computer. If you think this would become too time consuming, maybe a person could choose to vote on only those bills pertaining to his interests? I'm sure some bills would get much more attention than others, but this would be okay.
Am I trying to micromanage my government? Maybe I am, but I do know our government is broke, as in not working and as in financially. We need to try something else.
Perhaps I'm also giving too much credit to the intelligence of our citizens. We've been dumbed down for so long now, is it too late for us to wake up and think for ourselves?
It seems ridiculous to me, in this day and age, that we vote to elect a representative into office and that person then makes all the decisions on our behalf. Well, they are suppose to make decisions based on OUR behalf, but of course their own agendas are what comes into play.
A person running for office will promise anything to get elected. Why don't we require them to draw up contracts and if they breach them, why can't we have them removed from office in a more easily fashion than impeachment or recall? This method would actually be too murky still.
I want a world in which we no longer have representatives, but rather we represent ourselves. In this information age, why can't we have more opportunities to vote on everyday issues? Can we set up a system where we are allowed to have our voices heard more frequently than every few years?
What if all bills must be considered for public vote? There's no more House or Senate, its just us. Couldn't we figure out a way to develop a system to allow all of us to more collectively figure out what is fair? Can't we find a secure way to use our computer technology to allow the general public access to a fair exchange of ideas? (Leave the media and lobbyists out of it!)
I'd love to be able to read bills and vote on them using my computer. If you think this would become too time consuming, maybe a person could choose to vote on only those bills pertaining to his interests? I'm sure some bills would get much more attention than others, but this would be okay.
Am I trying to micromanage my government? Maybe I am, but I do know our government is broke, as in not working and as in financially. We need to try something else.
Perhaps I'm also giving too much credit to the intelligence of our citizens. We've been dumbed down for so long now, is it too late for us to wake up and think for ourselves?
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Have You Said Something Uplifting Today?
Lately in the Sleepyhouse we've been discussing the power of words. I came across a great article, click here, that I really believe in.
Several months ago a dear friend pointed out to me how much damage I was doing to myself by labeling what I eat as "evil", "sinful", "bad" etc. I hadn't really thought about the effect I was bringing on until she called me on this.
Words are thoughts set free. Once spoken, no longer hidden, you cannot wrangle them back to your control.
My meditation has taught me thoughts are very powerful. Releasing those thoughts out in the form of words and actions is even more stronger because you've shared it with others.
If I say, "Brownies taste good, but are so bad for me," I am telling my body I am choosing to poison it. That statement damages my self esteem, enabling my body to damage itself. I may even reach for another brownie hoping somehow to find that which I lacked to receive from the first brownie. I could easily open up a binge cycle trying desperately to find satisfaction.
If I say, "Brownies taste good and I really enjoy eating one," I am giving my body permission to enjoy the brownie while staying positive. I'll have a better chance to feel satisfied with one brownie, and there's less of a chance I'll reach for #2.
Moderation is easy when you are in tune with your body and you're in a relaxed, positive state of mind. Think of how carefree children eat. They stop when they are full, and they do not obsess or worry over their food.
The power of a positive word applies to all things, not just eating. I can praise and uplift a person with my words and the motivation for that person to do the same is contagious.
Unfortunately, right now I'm exposed to more people using negativity. I'm trying to focus on the few others who are positive and uplifting. From the wonderful stranger yesterday who completely out of the blue said to me, "Howdy! Howdy! Have a great day," to the kind sandwich maker who always remembers how my son prefers his sandwich. These seemingly little things are really big deals to me.
I keep visualizing positive, supportive people coming into my life. It helps me feel safe. It helps me feel excited about embracing this life I've been given. It motivates me to continue forward. Its my key to becoming a more giving person.
Several months ago a dear friend pointed out to me how much damage I was doing to myself by labeling what I eat as "evil", "sinful", "bad" etc. I hadn't really thought about the effect I was bringing on until she called me on this.
Words are thoughts set free. Once spoken, no longer hidden, you cannot wrangle them back to your control.
My meditation has taught me thoughts are very powerful. Releasing those thoughts out in the form of words and actions is even more stronger because you've shared it with others.
If I say, "Brownies taste good, but are so bad for me," I am telling my body I am choosing to poison it. That statement damages my self esteem, enabling my body to damage itself. I may even reach for another brownie hoping somehow to find that which I lacked to receive from the first brownie. I could easily open up a binge cycle trying desperately to find satisfaction.
If I say, "Brownies taste good and I really enjoy eating one," I am giving my body permission to enjoy the brownie while staying positive. I'll have a better chance to feel satisfied with one brownie, and there's less of a chance I'll reach for #2.
Moderation is easy when you are in tune with your body and you're in a relaxed, positive state of mind. Think of how carefree children eat. They stop when they are full, and they do not obsess or worry over their food.
The power of a positive word applies to all things, not just eating. I can praise and uplift a person with my words and the motivation for that person to do the same is contagious.
Unfortunately, right now I'm exposed to more people using negativity. I'm trying to focus on the few others who are positive and uplifting. From the wonderful stranger yesterday who completely out of the blue said to me, "Howdy! Howdy! Have a great day," to the kind sandwich maker who always remembers how my son prefers his sandwich. These seemingly little things are really big deals to me.
I keep visualizing positive, supportive people coming into my life. It helps me feel safe. It helps me feel excited about embracing this life I've been given. It motivates me to continue forward. Its my key to becoming a more giving person.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day!
I made two types of brownies, Betty Crocker boxed and homemade using America's Test Kitchen's recipe. Which would you prefer?
Personally, DH & I love the homemade recipe better, but out of love I made the boys a boxed brownie as requested. The homemade recipe uses several different types of chocolate. They came out perfectly chewy, with intense chocolate flavor. I found myself satisfied with just eating one.
We celebrated yesterday, having lunch out together as a family and then taking a walk outside at the zoo. The weather is warming up this week and all the snow is melting. It was a wet, slushy walk, but the fresh air felt good. We saw a few zoo favorites, but others were still wintering elsewhere. In the indoor exhibits we couldn't get over how active the snakes were. Usually they just lay there. I guess our zoo does have real snakes.
Tonight I'm going to try and make us a heart healthy Valentine's supper. I'm thinking roasted chicken, broccoli and baked potatoes. DH & I had our date night last Friday going out for fish fry.
For the weekend purging mission, I went through our medicine storage. I guess we've been relatively healthy since I found so many unused, expired products. It felt good to clear these out, making room for tea mugs instead. Hopefully we'll get through the rest of winter remaining healthy.
The next purge project should be paper, but that never seems to end. I get too easily distracted picking up old magazines thinking I'm going to re-read articles. I've been much better going through newer magazines right away and then recycling them. I also try to get most of my magazines from the library so they can't sit around my house indefinitely. I'll get there. Its just more slow going.
Speaking of the library, I think I've killed enough time we can now head out and walk up to the library. It should open by the time we get there.
Have a great Valentine's Day!
Personally, DH & I love the homemade recipe better, but out of love I made the boys a boxed brownie as requested. The homemade recipe uses several different types of chocolate. They came out perfectly chewy, with intense chocolate flavor. I found myself satisfied with just eating one.
We celebrated yesterday, having lunch out together as a family and then taking a walk outside at the zoo. The weather is warming up this week and all the snow is melting. It was a wet, slushy walk, but the fresh air felt good. We saw a few zoo favorites, but others were still wintering elsewhere. In the indoor exhibits we couldn't get over how active the snakes were. Usually they just lay there. I guess our zoo does have real snakes.
Tonight I'm going to try and make us a heart healthy Valentine's supper. I'm thinking roasted chicken, broccoli and baked potatoes. DH & I had our date night last Friday going out for fish fry.
For the weekend purging mission, I went through our medicine storage. I guess we've been relatively healthy since I found so many unused, expired products. It felt good to clear these out, making room for tea mugs instead. Hopefully we'll get through the rest of winter remaining healthy.
The next purge project should be paper, but that never seems to end. I get too easily distracted picking up old magazines thinking I'm going to re-read articles. I've been much better going through newer magazines right away and then recycling them. I also try to get most of my magazines from the library so they can't sit around my house indefinitely. I'll get there. Its just more slow going.
Speaking of the library, I think I've killed enough time we can now head out and walk up to the library. It should open by the time we get there.
Have a great Valentine's Day!
Friday, February 11, 2011
I'm In Complete Zen Mode Dudes
I'm trying not to get excited about the possibility I may soon be buying a new kitchen trash can. A girl shouldn't count her chickens right?
There is a secret hidden in the above paragraph I can't yet reveal, but as I contemplate the possible changes coming my way, I'm discovering I'm challenging my old way of thinking. Count my chickens, I will indeed! I choose to live my life with the expectation those eggs WILL hatch. This is a new part to my new life.
Part of my healing process has required I address my fear of lack and loss. I'm not sure how or when that fear seed was planted. I grew up well cared for physically, but perhaps emotionally I wasn't?
Anyway, it doesn't matter how or when it happened. I can pull this fear weed from my garden and release it to my spiritual composter. I now am practicing abundance visualizations and truly seeing and FEELING how much I have.
I know to some, I must be sounding like a new age crazy girl these days, but I've tapped into something real and powerful. I feel so much potential is possible, I can't help but feel abundance is truly surrounding us, always.
I am very Chillaxed. :)
Pain now signals to me I'm healing. Pain went from meaning, something is wrong - HELP ME, to here is another thorn on a new branch that will lead to a beautiful bloom. Traveling the distance to the flower, across those thorns is something that happens regardless of my actions. Life is always changing, in motion fulfilling God's desire we are brought to abundance, peace and love.
The journey there really does make us stronger. I understand now those thorns keep predators from chewing away the branch, cutting off the blossom. Life's challenges serve us, propelling us forward if we chose to face and grow towards the unknown, rather than trying to head back to where we began.
I only wish I had more time each day to meditate. If I've had these revelations after only a few minutes of relaxing visualization every day or so, imagine the progress I could make if I had more time!
Patience Grasshopper - Think of all the off shooting branches I will create, all leading to blooming blessings, if I focus on growing and not measuring time.
There is a secret hidden in the above paragraph I can't yet reveal, but as I contemplate the possible changes coming my way, I'm discovering I'm challenging my old way of thinking. Count my chickens, I will indeed! I choose to live my life with the expectation those eggs WILL hatch. This is a new part to my new life.
Part of my healing process has required I address my fear of lack and loss. I'm not sure how or when that fear seed was planted. I grew up well cared for physically, but perhaps emotionally I wasn't?
Anyway, it doesn't matter how or when it happened. I can pull this fear weed from my garden and release it to my spiritual composter. I now am practicing abundance visualizations and truly seeing and FEELING how much I have.
I know to some, I must be sounding like a new age crazy girl these days, but I've tapped into something real and powerful. I feel so much potential is possible, I can't help but feel abundance is truly surrounding us, always.
I am very Chillaxed. :)
Pain now signals to me I'm healing. Pain went from meaning, something is wrong - HELP ME, to here is another thorn on a new branch that will lead to a beautiful bloom. Traveling the distance to the flower, across those thorns is something that happens regardless of my actions. Life is always changing, in motion fulfilling God's desire we are brought to abundance, peace and love.
The journey there really does make us stronger. I understand now those thorns keep predators from chewing away the branch, cutting off the blossom. Life's challenges serve us, propelling us forward if we chose to face and grow towards the unknown, rather than trying to head back to where we began.
I only wish I had more time each day to meditate. If I've had these revelations after only a few minutes of relaxing visualization every day or so, imagine the progress I could make if I had more time!
Patience Grasshopper - Think of all the off shooting branches I will create, all leading to blooming blessings, if I focus on growing and not measuring time.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Deep Thoughts With Strawberries
Fierce strawberry cravings have taken me over. My body must want spring. I've been listening to Jon Gabriel's nightly meditation and every time he says, "You crave healthy, live foods," strawberries have been coming to my mind. I know the visualization practice is really working for me in other ways as well. I had a dream I put on a WHITE swimsuit in a size that shouldn't have fit me but it did. WHITE!! Isn't that crazy?!
I think I'm going to create a vision board, although I'll think of another name for it. "Vision board" doesn't have the creative gusto juice I'm going for.
I'm also going to do more research on brain entrainment and binaural beat technology. I've tried a few samples I've found online, and I think Jon Gabriel's visualization recording uses it. I do know my mind feels more at peace and more awake yet relaxed after listening to this type of music.
Yesterday DS12 asked me a wonderful question. "Mom, how do you think artists find their inspiration?" These are the kinds of questions I love to answer, and make homeschooling so much fun! I love that he's thinking about how people think.
We shared a deep conversation about how emotions motivate people and what triggers different emotions in different people. We followed up with our own experiences and what we believe inspires us. Its so exciting to connect with my children this way and to be able to know and understand them so deeply. I feel so blessed to be able to unschool.
My strawberry smoothie has now happily traveled to where it will bring me health and happiness. Its time I get moving. Happy Wednesday!
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Our 3 R's - not reading, (w)riting and (a)rithmetic, but rather, RESPONSIBLE, RESOURCEFUL and RESPECTFUL. Our GPA - not Grade Point Average, but rather GIVING POTENTIAL Average. I'm proud our lifestyle of learning has produced young men with integrity. They can read, write, compute and they know how to continue with something until it's mastered, but more importantly they have strong character qualities such as compassion, generosity and love.
I'm Really Good At Falling With Crock Pots
I didn't drop the crock pot or break any bones! I thought for sure there would be a hole in the wall, but apparently fate decided to scrape my elbow instead.
When I walk downstairs I have to look at the stair I'm stepping on next. I can't lift my head like a normal person and just know where the next step is. I seem to lose depth perception when going downstairs as well. This is one reason why downward escalators have always scared me. I have to stare at them for a few seconds, find the rhythm of that passing line break and then step. (Or I cling to my husband for dear life.)
When I was a little girl, I would cry if my mother tried to take me on the escalator. Around the same time I went through another phobia phase of elevators. My poor parents couldn't shop at department stores without stress.
This morning my elbow scrape is feeling better. Last night it felt like a burn, constantly stinging. My hip feels a little sore, so I'm guessing I either hit that as well against the wall, or when I landed on my left foot, the impact shock threw my hip out a little. I'm grateful I only fell from the 3rd stair up. Why I thought I couldn't let go of the crock pot mystifies me.
When I walk downstairs I have to look at the stair I'm stepping on next. I can't lift my head like a normal person and just know where the next step is. I seem to lose depth perception when going downstairs as well. This is one reason why downward escalators have always scared me. I have to stare at them for a few seconds, find the rhythm of that passing line break and then step. (Or I cling to my husband for dear life.)
When I was a little girl, I would cry if my mother tried to take me on the escalator. Around the same time I went through another phobia phase of elevators. My poor parents couldn't shop at department stores without stress.
This morning my elbow scrape is feeling better. Last night it felt like a burn, constantly stinging. My hip feels a little sore, so I'm guessing I either hit that as well against the wall, or when I landed on my left foot, the impact shock threw my hip out a little. I'm grateful I only fell from the 3rd stair up. Why I thought I couldn't let go of the crock pot mystifies me.
Saturday, February 05, 2011
Friday, February 04, 2011
Running On Fumes Today
A dark chocolate IV would be nice. Instead I'm trying to get rolling here with lots of Sleepytime tea. Ironic because last night I don't recall falling asleep. I only remember the thought of trying to fall asleep, and I have no recollection of dreaming. So why am I just now drinking Sleepytime when the sun has just risen?
I seem to be twisted up, reversed.
A Facebook friend of mine believes insomnia strikes her whenever there is something she needs to be doing but isn't getting around to. Thinking about my sleepless night, I think it had more to do with my decision not to take any pain meds for my shoulder.
I thought my shoulder was getting better. A friend showed me a soft tissue manipulation technique I could do and after her adjustment it did feel better. I taught the technique to DH and he gave me an adjustment before bed. Maybe it felt worse because it's now getting better? (Hope...Hope!)
Or maybe I was REMless in the Sleepyhouse because I drank a quart of green tea yesterday? Isn't it written somewhere 5-6 cups of green tea day is beneficial? Of course I hadn't had that much green tea in awhile. I'm sure the caffeine was a jolt to my system.
I listened to my Jon Gabriel visualization download as the sun rose. I'm suppose to listen to it each NIGHT before I go to bed. When I finally gave up and resolved I wasn't going to fall asleep, even for a few early morning hours, I thought I might as well begin this day as relaxed as possible.
I enjoy his visualization mediation, but I'm thinking about creating my own. I think it would be even more effective if I used MY voice to record the guided relaxation/visualization. If I listen on my MP3 player to my actual voice, I'm sure it would resonate stronger with my subconscious. I'll have to see if we have a microphone and recording capabilities on our PC. Of course Jon's has this vibey background music. I don't know if we have any mixing software, but I think the cool music adds to the effect.
At my work they are starting a weight loss/healthy living competition. Its based on the book, The Game On Diet. I'm not sure I'm going to read the book. I read a review its full of profanity, although supposedly the "diet" advice is good. It could be fun to join up with others, but at this time, I really feel I want to continue working with the Gabriel method. I think taking a hard look within myself is healing me and bringing me toward a permanent change towards health and wellness.
Remember that creepy dad at the pool I told you about who always stares at my girls. Last night karma cracked me up. We were alone in the unusually quiet lobby. He let a big one rip. I don't think I will ever feel intimidated when he stares at my chest again. I will always remember his tooting and laugh hysterically inside to myself!!
Interestingly now in my visualization practice, I have begun to see myself in shape and healthy. Maybe I just had to give it time and practice, or maybe I'm accepting I don't have to be a victim?
Pain and discomfort have a different meaning in life for me now. They are tools I use to grow stronger. Life isn't happening TO me, but rather FOR me.
Wow, isn't it interesting how my brain will still fire when so sleep deprived? Or am I thinking so clearly because I'm running on fumes boosted by hot beverages? (I confess, I snuck a mug of cocoa in between Sleepytime hits.)
I think now that my insides are warmed along with my brain waves, I'll bundle up and head out into the world so it can pour sunshine on my face. Peace and blessings to you this fresh Friday!
I seem to be twisted up, reversed.
A Facebook friend of mine believes insomnia strikes her whenever there is something she needs to be doing but isn't getting around to. Thinking about my sleepless night, I think it had more to do with my decision not to take any pain meds for my shoulder.
I thought my shoulder was getting better. A friend showed me a soft tissue manipulation technique I could do and after her adjustment it did feel better. I taught the technique to DH and he gave me an adjustment before bed. Maybe it felt worse because it's now getting better? (Hope...Hope!)
Or maybe I was REMless in the Sleepyhouse because I drank a quart of green tea yesterday? Isn't it written somewhere 5-6 cups of green tea day is beneficial? Of course I hadn't had that much green tea in awhile. I'm sure the caffeine was a jolt to my system.
I listened to my Jon Gabriel visualization download as the sun rose. I'm suppose to listen to it each NIGHT before I go to bed. When I finally gave up and resolved I wasn't going to fall asleep, even for a few early morning hours, I thought I might as well begin this day as relaxed as possible.
I enjoy his visualization mediation, but I'm thinking about creating my own. I think it would be even more effective if I used MY voice to record the guided relaxation/visualization. If I listen on my MP3 player to my actual voice, I'm sure it would resonate stronger with my subconscious. I'll have to see if we have a microphone and recording capabilities on our PC. Of course Jon's has this vibey background music. I don't know if we have any mixing software, but I think the cool music adds to the effect.
At my work they are starting a weight loss/healthy living competition. Its based on the book, The Game On Diet. I'm not sure I'm going to read the book. I read a review its full of profanity, although supposedly the "diet" advice is good. It could be fun to join up with others, but at this time, I really feel I want to continue working with the Gabriel method. I think taking a hard look within myself is healing me and bringing me toward a permanent change towards health and wellness.
Remember that creepy dad at the pool I told you about who always stares at my girls. Last night karma cracked me up. We were alone in the unusually quiet lobby. He let a big one rip. I don't think I will ever feel intimidated when he stares at my chest again. I will always remember his tooting and laugh hysterically inside to myself!!
Interestingly now in my visualization practice, I have begun to see myself in shape and healthy. Maybe I just had to give it time and practice, or maybe I'm accepting I don't have to be a victim?
Pain and discomfort have a different meaning in life for me now. They are tools I use to grow stronger. Life isn't happening TO me, but rather FOR me.
Wow, isn't it interesting how my brain will still fire when so sleep deprived? Or am I thinking so clearly because I'm running on fumes boosted by hot beverages? (I confess, I snuck a mug of cocoa in between Sleepytime hits.)
I think now that my insides are warmed along with my brain waves, I'll bundle up and head out into the world so it can pour sunshine on my face. Peace and blessings to you this fresh Friday!
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
We Survived Blizzard February 1 & 2, 2011
Yumi was not happy she couldn't watch her birdie friends, but at least the drifting kept stray Tom away from her window. DH and I both stayed home from work. We actually had no choice. Local roads were closed due to drifting.
I don't know what our official inch total was, but it was the sustained 35 mph winds with gusts up to 70 that made it a brutal blizzard. All night long it was very noisy out there. We lost power a few times, but thankfully it went back on before we got too chilled without heat. We found pieces of the house being constructed next door in our yard, but thankfully our house appears to be intact.
Due to the storm, I ended up with two nights off. I don't want to think about the lower number on my future paycheck. It was nice to have the time off to heal up my thrown out shoulder. It still hurts when I take a deep breath, but at least I can find a comfortable position to sit or lay in now. I've been trying to stretch it out and drink more fluids to help with the inflammation.
The boys enjoyed having friends over due to schools being closed. It seems hard to believe its also time to see the homeschool posse, but tomorrow is Thursday already. These past two days seem to have flow by despite us being snowed in.
When I was feeling up to it, I studied more of the Gabriel Method. I'm having trouble visualizing my ideal body. I can't think of a time in my life when I didn't feel fat.
I know in high school I had a regular woman's body, but compared to my not yet "developed" friends, I always felt fat. DH says I should use a photograph of myself during that time, but mentally my high school body wasn't something I was comfortable with then, so why would it work for me now? I've thought about using magazine photos and plastering my face on them, but I don't like that idea. I'm just going to have to dig deeper and find out why I can't see myself as a thin, healthy person.
I think it does have something to do with not wanting to be a sex object. If you're laughing, that's okay. :) It makes me laugh too, but I know on another level, there's truth to this. Last night I had a dream where I was groped by some jerk. I think on a subconscious level I see thin as sexy and sexy as not safe.
There's a creepy dad at the pool who constantly stares at my chest making me feel uncomfortable. I think I need to empower myself to not feel so threatened by the attention of men. I think it goes way back to age 12. Those bra snapping middle school boys traumatized me! LOL!
I certainly want to feel sexy for DH, but how do I accomplish this without the concern I'm soliciting unwanted attention from other men? I'll have to work on this while practicing my visualization sessions.
Well, that's probably TMI for all of you, but my blog is my journal and how I work stuff out in my head. Read at your own risk. :)
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