Not Much Sleeping In The Sleepyhouse Lately

I guess our protest plans have to change and we'll be protesting this morning in spirit. Originally we were going to march at our state capitol to show our support for *libraries. DS12 however, didn't sleep more than an hour last night. He finally felt relaxed enough to try to fall asleep at 7:00am, so this changes our plans.

I slept from 10:00pm to 5:00am which is pretty good for me lately. The night before I only slept from 11:00pm to just before 4:00am but when I tried to nap later, I couldn't fall asleep. I think its hormones, the moon, spring equinox, and biting off more than I should. I'm trying to relax and not stress over it. Eventually my body will get it figured out.

So today will be a take it easy day. I'll try to get some reading in and when my sleepyheads finally wake up, I'll help them take it easy too.

*Our governor wants to cut funding to libraries. Of course as homeschoolers, our library is essential to us, but I also know the library provides resources for everyone in the community which improves their lives. A great example, when you're laid off, you have to job search online. Its where most job postings now are. If you're unemployed, you may not be able to afford internet access at home. The library provides free internet access, allowing people to look for work.

Libraries offer the opportunity for all citizens to further their education for free!! Educated people make for better productive citizens. I'm very upset our governor can give 500 million in tax breaks to the wealthy and big business by taking away educational resources from the poor and middle class.

 

Running On Fumes Today

A dark chocolate IV would be nice. Instead I'm trying to get rolling here with lots of Sleepytime tea. Ironic because last night I don't recall falling asleep. I only remember the thought of trying to fall asleep, and I have no recollection of dreaming. So why am I just now drinking Sleepytime when the sun has just risen?

I seem to be twisted up, reversed.

A Facebook friend of mine believes insomnia strikes her whenever there is something she needs to be doing but isn't getting around to. Thinking about my sleepless night, I think it had more to do with my decision not to take any pain meds for my shoulder.

I thought my shoulder was getting better. A friend showed me a soft tissue manipulation technique I could do and after her adjustment it did feel better. I taught the technique to DH and he gave me an adjustment before bed. Maybe it felt worse because it's now getting better? (Hope...Hope!) 

Or maybe I was REMless in the Sleepyhouse because I drank a quart of green tea yesterday? Isn't it written somewhere 5-6 cups of green tea day is beneficial? Of course I hadn't had that much green tea in awhile. I'm sure the caffeine was a jolt to my system.

I listened to my Jon Gabriel visualization download as the sun rose. I'm suppose to listen to it each NIGHT before I go to bed. When I finally gave up and resolved I wasn't going to fall asleep, even for a few early morning hours, I thought I might as well begin this day as relaxed as possible.

I enjoy his visualization mediation, but I'm thinking about creating my own. I think it would be even more effective if I used MY voice to record the guided relaxation/visualization. If I listen on my MP3 player to my actual voice, I'm sure it would resonate stronger with my subconscious. I'll have to see if we have a microphone and recording capabilities on our PC. Of course Jon's has this vibey background music. I don't know if we have any mixing software, but I think the cool music adds to the effect.

At my work they are starting a weight loss/healthy living competition. Its based on the book, The Game On Diet. I'm not sure I'm going to read the book. I read a review its full of profanity, although supposedly the "diet" advice is good. It could be fun to join up with others, but at this time, I really feel I want to continue working with the Gabriel method. I think taking a hard look within myself is healing me and bringing me toward a permanent change towards health and wellness.

Remember that creepy dad at the pool I told you about who always stares at my girls. Last night karma cracked me up. We were alone in the unusually quiet lobby. He let a big one rip. I don't think I will ever feel intimidated when he stares at my chest again. I will always remember his tooting and laugh hysterically inside to myself!!

Interestingly now in my visualization practice, I have begun to see myself in shape and healthy. Maybe I just had to give it time and practice, or maybe I'm accepting I don't have to be a victim?

Pain and discomfort have a different meaning in life for me now. They are tools I use to grow stronger. Life isn't happening TO me, but rather FOR me.

Wow, isn't it interesting how my brain will still fire when so sleep deprived? Or am I thinking so clearly because I'm running on fumes boosted by hot beverages? (I confess, I snuck a mug of cocoa in between Sleepytime hits.)

I think now that my insides are warmed along with my brain waves, I'll bundle up and head out into the world so it can pour sunshine on my face. Peace and blessings to you this fresh Friday!

Sleepless In The Sleepyhouse

My brain is experiencing a chemical crazy. Migraine on the right side, I'm actually thinking if I put my head through the wall it would feel better. Don't worry. I won't. I'll let my diarrhea of thoughts flow out and onto this fabulous white, electronic glow staring back at me.

I think I'm experiencing a hormonal shift due to the lack of sunlight. I think you call it "SAD" - seasonal affective disorder. I'm going to make an appointment to check my vitamin D levels. Its been so gray and dark, this has to be what's going on with me. Rationally I can't justify feeling depressed.

Although tonight, its not depression that's keeping me up, its anxiety. Again, rationally, I have nothing to feel anxious about, so this must be a chemical imbalance in my noggin.

I'm sipping Sleepytime, wrapped up in a giant hoodie and that is helping. Trying desperately to stay away from the kitchen area where chocolate is kept. I think I'd try eating cocoa powder straight if I go near the pantry. Its that bad. This craving for chocolate must mean I'm low on those feel good brain chemicals including serotonin.

I'm extremely uncomfortable. It began with my bed not feeling right, then my clothes, then I could feel every little movement and sound DH was making as he blissfully slept. Frustration turned to anger, then to tears. I could not think of a place to escape. I was left without sanctuary.

Freaked myself out thinking about how I needed sleep for so many different reasons, but wasn't getting one wink. Where was my sandman?!!! I have responsibilities tomorrow and people have expectations of me. I can't pass out tomorrow when this all calms down.

I don't even have a baby to cuddle and rock- the one reason I can think of right now worth not getting any sleep for.

Maybe I'll be okay. I can recall other sleepless nights where I still was able to function the next day.

The night before my wedding. Made the mistake of sharing a hotel room with bride's maids who snored. No sleep what so ever. At one point, thought of sneaking over to fiance's room to see if I could crash there, but decided I didn't want him to see me until at the alter that morning. Somehow I made it through my wedding day. I'm buying my future daughter-in-laws a hotel suite with a room all to themselves.

Strep throat Christmas Eve - Too much pain and difficulty breathing - I couldn't ruin Christmas for my family.

Chest cold last month - constant coughing all night long, yet I didn't miss one day of work that week.

Laboring with my second child - 43 hours no sleep due to contractions - still pushed him out in less than 20 minutes when I finally reached that required 10 cm.

I should put a foreign film on, preferably Japanese or Chinese, and try to read subtitles. This usually knocks me out as I try to keep up with reading subtitles, while trying to read also the actor's faces.

If I read anything else, it won't work. I'm an autodidact, addicted to non-fiction.

If I could make noise, I'd clean and purge, but my nest mates would not appreciate being awoken by my freak fest. Awoken? Awakened?

Surprised my essential oil trick didn't work.

Feeling guilty about not having money for DS11's braces. Like I can solve this at 4:23 in the morning? 

Tomorrow, I mean, later today, I will have to be good to myself and try to remain as relaxed as possible. Even when the cable guy is here for the 4th time in 2 weeks. Can we just drop Charter already? Will Dish or Direct TV work for us? I don't know and I shouldn't care right now!!

My Sleepytime tea is gone.

Yumi wants the computer chair back.

I think I should try again, even if DH's alarm will be going off shortly.

Tuesday Morning's Ramble...

I finally caught a chance to grab the tube bird feeder and chase out the wasps without getting stung. I have to hand it to them, it is a pretty good place to build a nest, inside the tube, out of the elements. Of course they would have run out of room pretty quickly. After I get this cleaned out, we'll have to be sure we always refill the seed before it gets too low, so the wasps won't have another chance to fly in and start rebuilding.

Maybe it was the moon, but I couldn't sleep last night. I was too restless. I fell asleep probably sometime after midnight, but woke up at 3:30am wide awake. I spent most of the last hours of night trying to fall back asleep before finally giving up at sunrise. I'm sure I'll crash hard later, when I have no opportunity to nap. I didn't sleep well the night before either. I kept dreaming I wasn't falling asleep, so even though I actually was sleeping, I woke up thinking I hadn't.

We finally received confirmation of our new health insurance. I'm thankful we have something, even though its not the best coverage. What was ridiculous was the fact it took 7 weeks to start this coverage when DH was told by the agency it would be only 1 week. I'm grateful we didn't get sick or injured while we were in insurance limbo land. The run around we received back and forth between the insurance company and the temporary agency DH works for was very frustrating. The moment DH began working, we basically lost our state coverage. "You're earning too much to qualify."  We were at the mercy of the insurance company and DH's new employer, waiting for them to get the ball rolling. Something needs to be done to ensure families don't have to go with laps in coverage like this, when they are trying to get off of unemployment.

I saved an article I had recently read to discuss it with my boys. Click here to read it. It basically points out how the middle class of America is shrinking. The rich are getting richer and the middle class is joining the poor in getting poorer. I've always known the future meant competing in a global economy, and its simple to do the math and learn quickly there isn't enough world wealth to go around.

Its sobering for a US citizen to read, but its the truth. We are unprepared for this. I agree with the statement, "The truth is that most Americans are absolutely dependent on someone else giving them a job."  Our government school system is designed to produce good workers but not innovative thinkers. The problem is, the world is full of "good workers" who will do the same job for much less.

I'm hoping that what my boys will learn from this, is you can't follow the pack. You must be a pack leader. You have to be inventive and have an entrepreneurial drive to order to be marketable.

Speaking of marketing, as much as I detest salessharks, I'm coming to realize we all must learn that dark talent. Of course it strengthens you to be able to see through the wolf's clothing, but also it is important to know how to become a wolf yourself. One must be able to sell himself in this global world, or at least, be able to market you own choice of livelihood.

So, yes, I found my insomniac self watching home shopping at 4:00am this morning, marveling at how that woman could sell a pound of cookies in a boring cookie jar for $40. I think the autodidact in me will begin researching persuasive speech.

I better get some smoothie in me. I have a walking date with DS11 at 9:00am. Have a great day!