DH ~ "Why haven't you baked anything in several weeks?"
Me ~ "What do you want me to bake?"
DH ~ "Cookies."
Me ~ "What kind? Peanut butter or chocolate chip?"
DH ~ "Yes."
I think maybe its due to my new relaxed lifestyle, but I haven't craved *bakies in awhile. I guess my family is going through withdrawal though even if I'm not.
I'm amazed at how my food choices and portions are changing without me really having to stress over it. I'm very happy so far with how the Gabriel Method is working for me. I seem to be able to relax and that helps me focus on how I'm feeling. Is my stomach truly hungry or am I reaching for food for a different reason? The visualizations must really be helping me.
* Cookies have been renamed "bakies". A friend's son pointed out you don't cook cookies, you bake them. Therefore I will now always refer to cookies as bakies. :)
Fierce strawberry cravings have taken me over. My body must want spring. I've been listening to Jon Gabriel's nightly meditation and every time he says, "You crave healthy, live foods," strawberries have been coming to my mind.
I know the visualization practice is really working for me in other ways as well. I had a dream I put on a WHITE swimsuit in a size that shouldn't have fit me but it did. WHITE!! Isn't that crazy?!
I think I'm going to create a vision board, although I'll think of another name for it. "Vision board" doesn't have the creative gusto juice I'm going for.
I'm also going to do more research on brain entrainment and binaural beat technology. I've tried a few samples I've found online, and I think Jon Gabriel's visualization recording uses it. I do know my mind feels more at peace and more awake yet relaxed after listening to this type of music.
Yesterday DS12 asked me a wonderful question. "Mom, how do you think artists find their inspiration?" These are the kinds of questions I love to answer, and make homeschooling so much fun! I love that he's thinking about how people think.
We shared a deep conversation about how emotions motivate people and what triggers different emotions in different people. We followed up with our own experiences and what we believe inspires us. Its so exciting to connect with my children this way and to be able to know and understand them so deeply. I feel so blessed to be able to unschool.
My strawberry smoothie has now happily traveled to where it will bring me health and happiness. Its time I get moving. Happy Wednesday!
A dark chocolate IV would be nice. Instead I'm trying to get rolling here with lots of Sleepytime tea. Ironic because last night I don't recall falling asleep. I only remember the thought of trying to fall asleep, and I have no recollection of dreaming. So why am I just now drinking Sleepytime when the sun has just risen?
I seem to be twisted up, reversed.
A Facebook friend of mine believes insomnia strikes her whenever there is something she needs to be doing but isn't getting around to. Thinking about my sleepless night, I think it had more to do with my decision not to take any pain meds for my shoulder.
I thought my shoulder was getting better. A friend showed me a soft tissue manipulation technique I could do and after her adjustment it did feel better. I taught the technique to DH and he gave me an adjustment before bed. Maybe it felt worse because it's now getting better? (Hope...Hope!)
Or maybe I was REMless in the Sleepyhouse because I drank a quart of green tea yesterday? Isn't it written somewhere 5-6 cups of green tea day is beneficial? Of course I hadn't had that much green tea in awhile. I'm sure the caffeine was a jolt to my system.
I listened to my Jon Gabriel visualization download as the sun rose. I'm suppose to listen to it each NIGHT before I go to bed. When I finally gave up and resolved I wasn't going to fall asleep, even for a few early morning hours, I thought I might as well begin this day as relaxed as possible.
I enjoy his visualization mediation, but I'm thinking about creating my own. I think it would be even more effective if I used MY voice to record the guided relaxation/visualization. If I listen on my MP3 player to my actual voice, I'm sure it would resonate stronger with my subconscious. I'll have to see if we have a microphone and recording capabilities on our PC. Of course Jon's has this vibey background music. I don't know if we have any mixing software, but I think the cool music adds to the effect.
At my work they are starting a weight loss/healthy living competition. Its based on the book, The Game On Diet. I'm not sure I'm going to read the book. I read a review its full of profanity, although supposedly the "diet" advice is good. It could be fun to join up with others, but at this time, I really feel I want to continue working with the Gabriel method. I think taking a hard look within myself is healing me and bringing me toward a permanent change towards health and wellness.
Remember that creepy dad at the pool I told you about who always stares at my girls. Last night karma cracked me up. We were alone in the unusually quiet lobby. He let a big one rip. I don't think I will ever feel intimidated when he stares at my chest again. I will always remember his tooting and laugh hysterically inside to myself!!
Interestingly now in my visualization practice, I have begun to see myself in shape and healthy. Maybe I just had to give it time and practice, or maybe I'm accepting I don't have to be a victim?
Pain and discomfort have a different meaning in life for me now. They are tools I use to grow stronger. Life isn't happening TO me, but rather FOR me.
Wow, isn't it interesting how my brain will still fire when so sleep deprived? Or am I thinking so clearly because I'm running on fumes boosted by hot beverages? (I confess, I snuck a mug of cocoa in between Sleepytime hits.)
I think now that my insides are warmed along with my brain waves, I'll bundle up and head out into the world so it can pour sunshine on my face. Peace and blessings to you this fresh Friday!
Yumi was not happy she couldn't watch her birdie friends, but at least the drifting kept stray Tom away from her window.
DH and I both stayed home from work. We actually had no choice. Local roads were closed due to drifting.
I don't know what our official inch total was, but it was the sustained 35 mph winds with gusts up to 70 that made it a brutal blizzard. All night long it was very noisy out there. We lost power a few times, but thankfully it went back on before we got too chilled without heat. We found pieces of the house being constructed next door in our yard, but thankfully our house appears to be intact.
Due to the storm, I ended up with two nights off. I don't want to think about the lower number on my future paycheck. It was nice to have the time off to heal up my thrown out shoulder. It still hurts when I take a deep breath, but at least I can find a comfortable position to sit or lay in now. I've been trying to stretch it out and drink more fluids to help with the inflammation.
The boys enjoyed having friends over due to schools being closed. It seems hard to believe its also time to see the homeschool posse, but tomorrow is Thursday already. These past two days seem to have flow by despite us being snowed in.
When I was feeling up to it, I studied more of the Gabriel Method. I'm having trouble visualizing my ideal body. I can't think of a time in my life when I didn't feel fat.
I know in high school I had a regular woman's body, but compared to my not yet "developed" friends, I always felt fat. DH says I should use a photograph of myself during that time, but mentally my high school body wasn't something I was comfortable with then, so why would it work for me now? I've thought about using magazine photos and plastering my face on them, but I don't like that idea. I'm just going to have to dig deeper and find out why I can't see myself as a thin, healthy person.
I think it does have something to do with not wanting to be a sex object. If you're laughing, that's okay. :) It makes me laugh too, but I know on another level, there's truth to this. Last night I had a dream where I was groped by some jerk. I think on a subconscious level I see thin as sexy and sexy as not safe.
There's a creepy dad at the pool who constantly stares at my chest making me feel uncomfortable. I think I need to empower myself to not feel so threatened by the attention of men. I think it goes way back to age 12. Those bra snapping middle school boys traumatized me! LOL!
I certainly want to feel sexy for DH, but how do I accomplish this without the concern I'm soliciting unwanted attention from other men? I'll have to work on this while practicing my visualization sessions.
Well, that's probably TMI for all of you, but my blog is my journal and how I work stuff out in my head. Read at your own risk. :)
