Monday, January 31, 2011
Ready For The Blizzard & Organizing
I hit up the Pig to round out the fridge and pantry supplies, and I grabbed every available copy of Mother Earth News our small library had on hand. I'm now officially ready to ride out this 3 day snow event. I can plan my garden while watching the white out.
It sounds like the pool will close, but even if it doesn't my wonderful boss said she'd cover for me so I don't have to worry about driving through the blizzard conditions. That's such a huge relief to me. I can actually tolerate winter pretty well, its the driving in it that stresses me out.
We spent this past weekend in the nest, purging and fixing up the larger storage area of our basement. I would have taken a before photo, but I feared we'd be contacted by the producer of Hoarders.
We bought two steel wire shelf racks from Target and with each paycheck, I'm going back for another one until our basement storage area is wall to wall racks. These units came together very quickly without tools and each shelf holds 350 pounds.
The first rack we built is holding appliances and other kitchen items that don't get used on a regular basis. It looks like something you'd see in a professional kitchen! The second rack is being used for DH's old stereo and computer equipment until he figures out what he wants to do with it.
Our future plans include a unit for seasonal decorations, and old toys the boys don't want to part with just yet. We also have a cookie jar collection from our B.C.,(before children), days that we'd like to organize. We're hoping we can rotate out the jars for displaying, rather than always keeping them in their storage boxes like we're doing now.
We still have quite a bit of purging and organizing to do, but it feels great to be started on it. We may even have room to set up a table on which I could work on projects.
We've made two runs to Goodwill with trunk fulls of cast offs. I'm sure they'll be plenty more in the next several weeks. Its getting easier to pitch rather than keep as we begin to see everything organized on the shelving units.
The only downside to all this cleaning has been I've tweaked something with my shoulder and back. I'm not sure what I lifted that did it, but I've got this strange pain the front of my chest and in the back on my shoulder blade. I'm thinking it all has to do with my shoulder being strained somehow. It feels like something a chiropractor could "pop" back in, but I don't have chiropractor funds right now. I'll keep hugging my rice pack and hope it gets better quickly.
It sounds like the pool will close, but even if it doesn't my wonderful boss said she'd cover for me so I don't have to worry about driving through the blizzard conditions. That's such a huge relief to me. I can actually tolerate winter pretty well, its the driving in it that stresses me out.
We spent this past weekend in the nest, purging and fixing up the larger storage area of our basement. I would have taken a before photo, but I feared we'd be contacted by the producer of Hoarders.
We bought two steel wire shelf racks from Target and with each paycheck, I'm going back for another one until our basement storage area is wall to wall racks. These units came together very quickly without tools and each shelf holds 350 pounds.
The first rack we built is holding appliances and other kitchen items that don't get used on a regular basis. It looks like something you'd see in a professional kitchen! The second rack is being used for DH's old stereo and computer equipment until he figures out what he wants to do with it.
Our future plans include a unit for seasonal decorations, and old toys the boys don't want to part with just yet. We also have a cookie jar collection from our B.C.,(before children), days that we'd like to organize. We're hoping we can rotate out the jars for displaying, rather than always keeping them in their storage boxes like we're doing now.
We still have quite a bit of purging and organizing to do, but it feels great to be started on it. We may even have room to set up a table on which I could work on projects.
We've made two runs to Goodwill with trunk fulls of cast offs. I'm sure they'll be plenty more in the next several weeks. Its getting easier to pitch rather than keep as we begin to see everything organized on the shelving units.
The only downside to all this cleaning has been I've tweaked something with my shoulder and back. I'm not sure what I lifted that did it, but I've got this strange pain the front of my chest and in the back on my shoulder blade. I'm thinking it all has to do with my shoulder being strained somehow. It feels like something a chiropractor could "pop" back in, but I don't have chiropractor funds right now. I'll keep hugging my rice pack and hope it gets better quickly.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Chocolate Chip Cookies- America's Test Kitchen recipe
Description:
This is by far, the best chocolate chip cookie I have ever eaten. Perfect consistency and the best flavor I've experienced in a chocolate chip cookie recipe, this technique developed by ATK really is the best.
The only changes I made were to form the cookies smaller, (working on my portion control these days), I used dark chocolate chips rather than the typical semi-sweet, and I added 1 1/3 cup of chips rather than the 1 1/4 cup. I didn't use any nuts either. The ATK original recipe wants you to divide the dough into 16 cookies, but those most be huge.
Ingredients:
1 3/4 flour
1/2 t baking soda
14 T of unsalted butter, (1 3/4 sticks)
1/2 C sugar
3/4 C dark brown sugar
1 t salt
2 t vanilla
1 L egg
1 L egg yolk
1 1/3 C of dark chocolate chips
Directions:
Preheat oven to 375
Over medium-high heat, melt 10 T of butter, about 2 minutes. Cook the butter another 1-3 minutes, stirring, until the butter develops a light brown color.
Add the melted butter to your metal mixing bowl and stir in the remaining 4 T of butter. Stir until its all melted.
Add the sugars, salt and vanilla and whisk until mixed.
Add the eggs and mix for 30 seconds.
Allow the mixture to rest for 3 minutes, then whisk again for 30 seconds. Repeat this process 2 more times.
Mix the flour and baking soda in a small bowl.
Add the flour mixture and chips into the butter, sugar, egg mixture and mix just until combined.
Use a cookie scoop or spoon to form small balls, about a tablespoon big. Bake 2 inches apart for 9-11 minutes.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Yes, I'm Mental Today
I'm making progress because the more I push through, the more I feel the push back.
I've been focusing on releasing fears and stress, trying to calm my mind. I'll reach a peaceful state only to have a flood of fear and tension return. I'm choosing to believe that as I get stronger, my mind knows I can take more on.
I recognize now the increased feelings of fear and stress are really nothing to FEAR and be STRESSED about. They only make me stronger because as they scream back at me, I have the opportunity to once again leave them behind. They may scream louder, but I grow stronger having had all of this practice at acknowledging them and releasing them. Eventually all of this negative energy will burn itself out because I've turned up the heat!
I know there are changes happening in my body as well. The foods I crave, the portions I eat, its all changing without me having to really worry about it. I understand now how worrying about what I ate, only added to the giant stress ball, rolling me away from my goals. Its interesting how actions I thought would help me were really trapping me.
I had very strange rage dreams. I was surrounded by mess and clutter, and I just kept screaming my head off, incoherently. I woke up thinking, whoa! Where did that come from? My subconscious knows I'm now reaching for order and peace. I expect it now to work with me rather than against me. It pitched a temper tantrum but that's over now. It's time to partner up and make this work!
I've been focusing on releasing fears and stress, trying to calm my mind. I'll reach a peaceful state only to have a flood of fear and tension return. I'm choosing to believe that as I get stronger, my mind knows I can take more on.
I recognize now the increased feelings of fear and stress are really nothing to FEAR and be STRESSED about. They only make me stronger because as they scream back at me, I have the opportunity to once again leave them behind. They may scream louder, but I grow stronger having had all of this practice at acknowledging them and releasing them. Eventually all of this negative energy will burn itself out because I've turned up the heat!
I know there are changes happening in my body as well. The foods I crave, the portions I eat, its all changing without me having to really worry about it. I understand now how worrying about what I ate, only added to the giant stress ball, rolling me away from my goals. Its interesting how actions I thought would help me were really trapping me.
I had very strange rage dreams. I was surrounded by mess and clutter, and I just kept screaming my head off, incoherently. I woke up thinking, whoa! Where did that come from? My subconscious knows I'm now reaching for order and peace. I expect it now to work with me rather than against me. It pitched a temper tantrum but that's over now. It's time to partner up and make this work!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Love In Every Sip, Weekend Fun
Do you like my new tea bowl, I mean tea mug? DH insisted on buying it for me because he said it was made for me. I love the color, and I love drinking tea. Its great to brew two cups at once, and I'm sure it will make a wonderful ice cream, I mean, cereal bowl as well. Its making a great hand warmer too, since it takes both of mine to hold it. Sunday Bloody Sunday, poor DS soon to be 12 had several flash flood nose bleeds. I think the sight of all the blood made him feel ill the rest of the day and night. He said it looked like a crime scene and in truth it did. I tried to clean everything up as best I could, but I'm sure if Dexter Morgan shows up with his blood spill kit, I'm busted. It can be very scary seeing blood gush out of you like that. I assured him he wasn't going to die and we just kept applying pressure. The bleeds would stop but an hour or so later another tsunami would surprise us. So far this morning, he seems to be doing okay except for a little bit of a sore throat.
In between nose bleeds, we remarkably all enjoyed lunch at Red Lobster in honor of DS soon to be 12. He ate his fill of cheddar biscuits. I told the waiter to skip the birthday sundae and just bring DS his own basket of biscuits.
There was a family party sitting near us celebrating their patriarch's milestone. He didn't get a sundae either but rather a large glass of chocolate milk! :) I don't know how old the gentleman was, but as I watched him, I hoped my son would some day be that blessed to be sitting in Red Lobster surrounded by his great grandchildren.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Pesto Cavatappi - My version of Noodles and Company's
Description:
I love the Pesto Cavatappi at Noodles, and for awhile now, I've thought it couldn't be that difficult of a recipe to replicate at home and save a few bucks. I did a bit of research, and decided to try and make a version with a little less calories than the Noodles version.
I thought this came out wonderful. It wasn't as green as the dish is at the restaurant, but it still tastes delicious. Noodles must add tons of pesto to their mushroom sauce to make theirs that green. I saw the calorie count on the side of the pesto jar and couldn't bring myself to use more than a spoonful. I replaced non-fat yogurt for the traditional heavy cream, although the next time I make this, I may try using non-fat cream cheese.
Ingredients:
1 1/2 C cavatappi noodles
1 T olive oil or just enough to coat the bottom of your skillet
1 T Smart Balance spread or use butter
1 1/2 C sliced mushrooms
2 T white wine
2 T non fat plain yogurt
2 T pesto
1 large or 2 smaller Roma tomatoes, sliced
3 cloves of garlic, mashed and diced
Garnish with grated Parmesan cheese
Directions:
Cook your cavatappi noodles according to the packaged directions to al dente
Lightly coat the bottom of your skillet with olive oil and melt the Smart Balance or butter. Add the mushrooms to your skillet and saute. Once the mushrooms are tender, stir in the splash of wine, yogurt, pesto, tomatoes and garlic. Lastly add your cooked cavatappi and stir/toss to coat. Heat until the pasta is once again hot. Sprinkle Parmesan on top if desired.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Thoughts For Thursday 1/20/11
The death cold is coming. Remind me again why -20 below is necessary for the environment?
I threw in extra onions and loads of garlic in today's batch of black bean tomato stoup. I'm surrounded by people eager to share their viruses. My immune system needs all the help it can get.
I'm becoming more aware of people's energy, or to be more precise, people's negative energy. They aren't helping me reach that "Chillax" state of being I hope to achieve this new year. Guess I need to learn how to deflect their negative vibes.
Last night my heart was breaking for a little Chinese girl at the pool. Her father was telling me she said she wanted to be a cleaner when she grew up. He was really concerned about this. I said, "Hey, she'll always have job security and as long as she's happy, right?" He protested replying his daughter would not clean for a living.
The little girl then chimed in with a smile on her face, "I want to be a preschool teacher!"
I said to her, "That sounds like fun!"
Dad replied, "NO! If you want to be a teacher, you can teach college students."
I swear, some people don't get it. Allow your children to follow their dreams.
I recently read although Chinese students excel in math and science, they lack creativity because at a very young age, they are pushed academically.
My state is actually trying to offer 4 year old kindergarten and people are lining up to get their 4 year olds in the door. Another lawmaker is trying to pull the plug on 4 year old kindergarten. Frankly, my state doesn't have the money, plus, why the rush to pull young children away from their families? So many parents think this will give their children an academic advantage and save them daycare dollars. As a homeschooling parent, I will tell you my children learned more at home, with a very low teacher- student ratio, and a loving, safe environment.
I better get off my soapbox and get moving.
I threw in extra onions and loads of garlic in today's batch of black bean tomato stoup. I'm surrounded by people eager to share their viruses. My immune system needs all the help it can get.
I'm becoming more aware of people's energy, or to be more precise, people's negative energy. They aren't helping me reach that "Chillax" state of being I hope to achieve this new year. Guess I need to learn how to deflect their negative vibes.
Last night my heart was breaking for a little Chinese girl at the pool. Her father was telling me she said she wanted to be a cleaner when she grew up. He was really concerned about this. I said, "Hey, she'll always have job security and as long as she's happy, right?" He protested replying his daughter would not clean for a living.
The little girl then chimed in with a smile on her face, "I want to be a preschool teacher!"
I said to her, "That sounds like fun!"
Dad replied, "NO! If you want to be a teacher, you can teach college students."
I swear, some people don't get it. Allow your children to follow their dreams.
I recently read although Chinese students excel in math and science, they lack creativity because at a very young age, they are pushed academically.
My state is actually trying to offer 4 year old kindergarten and people are lining up to get their 4 year olds in the door. Another lawmaker is trying to pull the plug on 4 year old kindergarten. Frankly, my state doesn't have the money, plus, why the rush to pull young children away from their families? So many parents think this will give their children an academic advantage and save them daycare dollars. As a homeschooling parent, I will tell you my children learned more at home, with a very low teacher- student ratio, and a loving, safe environment.
I better get off my soapbox and get moving.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
What We've Been Up To...
I haven't been ignoring you. I've just been distracted by the following.
America's Test Kitchen - I can't believe this has been in existence for over a decade, and I'm just now discovering it. I need to make a point to watch more public television. I knew about the magazine Cook's Country, but I wasn't familiar with the entire franchise. I love how the recipes are tested over and over until they've worked out the best method.They explain the science behind the recipe, and they also have great kitchen product reviews. Its sort of like Alton Brown's Good Eats and Consumer Reports only done much better. Here's the link to America's Test Kitchen, but I feel like everyone already knows about this brilliant show except me because apparently I've been living under a rock.
Our other TV fascination lately has been Forensic Files. DS11 is especially into it. Its a 30 minute documentary style show featuring real life crimes solved through the science of forensics. I asked DS11 if he's thinking about becoming a forensic scientist, but he's still says he wants to be a police officer.
We're getting ready to celebrate DS11's turn to DS12 in a few days. I can't believe my baby is 12. 12!!!! We'll celebrate early this weekend, since both DH and I will have to work on his actual birthday. He wants to go to Red Lobster and eat a basket full of cheddar baked biscuits. He doesn't want the birthday sundae, just bring him his own basket of cheddar baked biscuits with a side of ranch sauce to dip into. LOL!
I'm reading the book The Gabriel Method by Jon Gabriel. The book is making me think about weight loss in an entirely different way. Jon used to weigh over 400 pounds but lost over 200 pounds once he figured out his "fat switch" was turned on. The book is revealing to me how stress and my fears of scarcity have triggered my body to want to stay fat for survival. I am trapped by an emotional obesity and the next few weeks, I'm really going to start to explore why I've done this, and how I will break free and turn off my "fat switch." I know what I should eat, yet I starve my body from the nutrition it needs. I need to completely change my mindset away from fear and worry, and focus on the abundance around me and my ability to reach a life I've dreamed of living. I'm excited to take this journey!
America's Test Kitchen - I can't believe this has been in existence for over a decade, and I'm just now discovering it. I need to make a point to watch more public television. I knew about the magazine Cook's Country, but I wasn't familiar with the entire franchise. I love how the recipes are tested over and over until they've worked out the best method.They explain the science behind the recipe, and they also have great kitchen product reviews. Its sort of like Alton Brown's Good Eats and Consumer Reports only done much better. Here's the link to America's Test Kitchen, but I feel like everyone already knows about this brilliant show except me because apparently I've been living under a rock.
Our other TV fascination lately has been Forensic Files. DS11 is especially into it. Its a 30 minute documentary style show featuring real life crimes solved through the science of forensics. I asked DS11 if he's thinking about becoming a forensic scientist, but he's still says he wants to be a police officer.
We're getting ready to celebrate DS11's turn to DS12 in a few days. I can't believe my baby is 12. 12!!!! We'll celebrate early this weekend, since both DH and I will have to work on his actual birthday. He wants to go to Red Lobster and eat a basket full of cheddar baked biscuits. He doesn't want the birthday sundae, just bring him his own basket of cheddar baked biscuits with a side of ranch sauce to dip into. LOL!
I'm reading the book The Gabriel Method by Jon Gabriel. The book is making me think about weight loss in an entirely different way. Jon used to weigh over 400 pounds but lost over 200 pounds once he figured out his "fat switch" was turned on. The book is revealing to me how stress and my fears of scarcity have triggered my body to want to stay fat for survival. I am trapped by an emotional obesity and the next few weeks, I'm really going to start to explore why I've done this, and how I will break free and turn off my "fat switch." I know what I should eat, yet I starve my body from the nutrition it needs. I need to completely change my mindset away from fear and worry, and focus on the abundance around me and my ability to reach a life I've dreamed of living. I'm excited to take this journey!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Friday Five 1/14/11
"Since this is National Thank You month, and so many times little things, like how much we appreciate people can go by and we just don't get them said. Let's take today and thank at least 5 of those people. And then once you are done here, maybe spread some of that around to others as well!? Everyone would love to hear a thank you, an I appreciate you, an I love you...just because we think they know that...it still doesn't hurt to hear it!" ~ Friday Five Group Prompt
1. I'm grateful I found my heavenly Father, not in the church, but in my heart. I'm grateful He led me away from the misinterpretations of others, and He helped me understand the truth about his love.
2. I'm grateful to my husband, my best friend, my soul one. I know we have something rare, and I cherish it. I can't imagine my life without him.
3. I'm grateful to my sons. They are a gift. They have taught me more about love than I thought possible and have made me a better person by allowing me to become a parent.
4. I'm grateful to have extended family. Good times and bad, they helped shape me, and when needed most, I do believe they will be there for me.
5. I'm grateful for all of my friends. I can wrap my arms around some of them, and some I can't, but they all count and are dear to me.
1. I'm grateful I found my heavenly Father, not in the church, but in my heart. I'm grateful He led me away from the misinterpretations of others, and He helped me understand the truth about his love.
2. I'm grateful to my husband, my best friend, my soul one. I know we have something rare, and I cherish it. I can't imagine my life without him.
3. I'm grateful to my sons. They are a gift. They have taught me more about love than I thought possible and have made me a better person by allowing me to become a parent.
4. I'm grateful to have extended family. Good times and bad, they helped shape me, and when needed most, I do believe they will be there for me.
5. I'm grateful for all of my friends. I can wrap my arms around some of them, and some I can't, but they all count and are dear to me.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The Power Of Choice
"Children learn how to make good decisions by making decisions, not by following directions." - Alfie Kohn.
This is another reason why unschooling works so well. When you don't interrupt a child's natural curiosity and you help facilitate their right to choose, they will develop great decision making skills.
I am a horrible decision maker because I'm afraid of failure. I was raised in public school. Follow these directions and do it this way. Memorize these answers and I'll give you a test. You better score highly on the test if you want to please us. I will probably be forever deschooling myself, learning to trust myself.
I'm grateful my children are growing up differently. Within the boundaries of safety, they are given complete freedom to decide. Except for our expectations of love and respect they are free to fail or succeed. I know they learn from both outcomes, perhaps even more from failure.
They carve their own paths, using inspiration from the world around them, but always deciding for themselves the steps, the pace, the direction.
This is another reason why unschooling works so well. When you don't interrupt a child's natural curiosity and you help facilitate their right to choose, they will develop great decision making skills.
I am a horrible decision maker because I'm afraid of failure. I was raised in public school. Follow these directions and do it this way. Memorize these answers and I'll give you a test. You better score highly on the test if you want to please us. I will probably be forever deschooling myself, learning to trust myself.
I'm grateful my children are growing up differently. Within the boundaries of safety, they are given complete freedom to decide. Except for our expectations of love and respect they are free to fail or succeed. I know they learn from both outcomes, perhaps even more from failure.
They carve their own paths, using inspiration from the world around them, but always deciding for themselves the steps, the pace, the direction.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Where Did This Come From?
DS11, soon to be DS12, just asked me what it was like to be a parent. He's sitting over there, gaming away, while I'm checking up on all of your Facebook updates, and he casually drops that one on me.
This is a push the chair away from the computer moment.
I'm back now. I told him the answer to this question could not easily be summed up with just a few sentences, but I did my best.
I told him being a parent is a gift. It changes your life in ways you can't imagine. Your life becomes secondary to the life of your child. There is nothing you wouldn't do for your child to make sure they are loved, safe and provided for. You learn more about love than you ever thought possible. You begin to really understand unconditional love from the direction of being the giver not the receiver.
Then I knew I had to hit pause before I began to lose his interest. :)
I asked him why he had asked me this question and he said he didn't know. He said he was just curious.
I love being home and available for when questions like these come up. You can't predict when your children are going to ask what they do most of the time. Homeschooling has really given us the opportunity to get to know each other in a more natural way.
This is a push the chair away from the computer moment.
I'm back now. I told him the answer to this question could not easily be summed up with just a few sentences, but I did my best.
I told him being a parent is a gift. It changes your life in ways you can't imagine. Your life becomes secondary to the life of your child. There is nothing you wouldn't do for your child to make sure they are loved, safe and provided for. You learn more about love than you ever thought possible. You begin to really understand unconditional love from the direction of being the giver not the receiver.
Then I knew I had to hit pause before I began to lose his interest. :)
I asked him why he had asked me this question and he said he didn't know. He said he was just curious.
I love being home and available for when questions like these come up. You can't predict when your children are going to ask what they do most of the time. Homeschooling has really given us the opportunity to get to know each other in a more natural way.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Recycling Trees and Love
I couldn't part with recycling the Christmas tree yet so we moved it to the back deck for the birds. I'm hoping they choose to seek shelter in it, but so far I think they are wondering how a tree popped up over night. There is a Mourning Dove content with perching near the bird feeder, but no feathered friends have tried landing on the tree yet. If we don't get the tree to the curb for our village recycling, we'll just do it ourselves later. The yard waste area is just a block down from us, but then again, I could recycle this tree in our own compost as well.
My friend's funeral was okay, but its always difficult for me to attend a church that preaches a different understanding of the bible than I have. I appreciated the kind words spoken by her husband and the fact my family could be with me during this difficult task. I know its a good thing for my boys to see different cultures and different religions. I know my friend's faith gave her great strength and for that I'm grateful. I do still wish she would have had a better understanding of my faith, because it would have relieved the fears she had for her own children. I found it very uncomfortable to hear her preacher question my friend's children's beliefs at their mother's funeral. I don't know how comforting that was for them, if at all.
I had such vivid dreams last night, loaded with extreme detail. Part of my dreams involved my deceased cat. I kept trying to find her. I'm sure the next several weeks I'll be dealing with how to cope with loss.
Maybe I will find ways to "recycle" rather than give up those feelings. During my friend's service someone spoke about her feelings of regret for not sharing more time with Judy. Instantly I thought to myself there was no need for this. Judy would want us to continue loving others and in doing so, it erases all regrets. She did so much and touched the lives of so many. I know rather than regret, it would be better to find ways to reach out to others and continue Judy's spirit of giving. This is how I plan to work through this. Recycling the love Judy gave me.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Chocolate Will Not Solve This
The brownies are ready!
I made them because I thought baking and chocolate would cheer me up. I haven't eaten any yet, because I'm realizing, I'm feeling sad due to the loss of my friend. I plan on attending her wake tonight and her funeral tomorrow. I'm hoping my family and friends enjoy the brownies, but I know how I'm feeling can't be fixed by eating a brownie myself. I came close, but this time, I know its not going to help me feel better.
After Judy's passing, I've been thinking about cancer more than ever. My friend did not want to die and leave her family, and I know I'd feel exactly the same. My friend fought very hard for every last minute. Cancer scares me because it seems like everyone is getting one form of it or another.
I know this next statement has probably run through my head thousands of times, but with Judy's passing the volume and understanding of it is slapping me in the face. The best way to fight cancer is to never get it in the first place by eating healthy and exercising. Of course given our environment, it may be impossible to avoid all toxins, but I'm still shaken to my core regarding how prevention is perhaps the only way around this disease.
So I'm left wondering, am I doing enough to ensure I will be healthy and available not only for my own needs, but also that I may continue to share my life with and look after my family?
I'm going to cry rather than eat a brownie. I'm going to cry it out, and then pray for comfort. Next I'll lace up my boots and walk. I'm going to take it one step at a time, constantly seeking ways to improve my life through healthy choices.
Now please help me eat these brownies, because I don't know if my strength and resolve will last.
I made them because I thought baking and chocolate would cheer me up. I haven't eaten any yet, because I'm realizing, I'm feeling sad due to the loss of my friend. I plan on attending her wake tonight and her funeral tomorrow. I'm hoping my family and friends enjoy the brownies, but I know how I'm feeling can't be fixed by eating a brownie myself. I came close, but this time, I know its not going to help me feel better.
After Judy's passing, I've been thinking about cancer more than ever. My friend did not want to die and leave her family, and I know I'd feel exactly the same. My friend fought very hard for every last minute. Cancer scares me because it seems like everyone is getting one form of it or another.
I know this next statement has probably run through my head thousands of times, but with Judy's passing the volume and understanding of it is slapping me in the face. The best way to fight cancer is to never get it in the first place by eating healthy and exercising. Of course given our environment, it may be impossible to avoid all toxins, but I'm still shaken to my core regarding how prevention is perhaps the only way around this disease.
So I'm left wondering, am I doing enough to ensure I will be healthy and available not only for my own needs, but also that I may continue to share my life with and look after my family?
I'm going to cry rather than eat a brownie. I'm going to cry it out, and then pray for comfort. Next I'll lace up my boots and walk. I'm going to take it one step at a time, constantly seeking ways to improve my life through healthy choices.
Now please help me eat these brownies, because I don't know if my strength and resolve will last.
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Crying Tomten
Friday, January 07, 2011
Friday Five 1/7/11
"Good morning all of you FF'ers! Let's start the New Year off with thinking of others!
Here's my 5.
1. I'll start with the easiest donation and probably the best, my prayers. Prayer is also the perfect donation for when you don't have anything else to give or when you feel helpless. It can be done on the spot, where ever you are, and can take just a few moments of heartfelt thought.
2. Goodwill - This donation really is doing me a favor. I feel so much better after purging away clutter. I also appreciate how the Goodwill organization near me is trying to train people for jobs, something in our area that is very difficult to come by.
3. I'm a Bell Ringer for the Salvation Army. I do this in memory of my immigrant grandparents who were helped out by this organization when they first came to this country and when they struggled through the depression. Its also fun and helps get me in the Christmas spirit of giving being witness to so many people dropping money into the buckets.
4. I help both "light the tree" and "light the night" in an effort to stop cancer. Unfortunately, next Christmas I'll have more white lights on our community's memory tree, having lost more friends and family to this evil disease.
5. I feed the neighborhood posse and provide a safe place for them to hang out, away from drugs and alcohol. All through the years, we've opened up our home to the boys' friends, letting them know they are always welcome. Our Game Cave is a neighborhood favorite, plus I benefit from getting to know the friends of my children.
And here are 5 more I want to start in 2011!
1. Meals on Wheels
2. Our local Care Closet - its both a second hand goods store and a food pantry for our village
3. Child abuse prevention
4. Restoring our parks and creating walking paths
5. My neighbors - I know my neighbor across the street, having just lost his wife, will need more TLC visits and I'd love to bake up a little more friendship for all of my neighbors.
January is National Blood Donation Month so why don't you tell us 5 things that you donate for the help of others. Now this doesn't have to be something huge...if you are a grandparent and you babysit for your grandchildren while their parents work...in these hard economic times that is a HUGE help for parents trying to make ends meet! A friend of mine is doing a Pay-it-forward for her New Years resolution...so it just got me thinking...what can I do this year to help more people. Give us your giving ways and lets all start this year out with our hearts! If you are someone who has new ideas for this coming year, tell us your 5 resolutions to give in the New Year...or if you are someone who (as I had been in the past while raising 3 kids) maybe this 5 can allow you to stop and think of ways you can start this year as a giving year...just let us know your thoughts!"
Here's my 5.
1. I'll start with the easiest donation and probably the best, my prayers. Prayer is also the perfect donation for when you don't have anything else to give or when you feel helpless. It can be done on the spot, where ever you are, and can take just a few moments of heartfelt thought.
2. Goodwill - This donation really is doing me a favor. I feel so much better after purging away clutter. I also appreciate how the Goodwill organization near me is trying to train people for jobs, something in our area that is very difficult to come by.
3. I'm a Bell Ringer for the Salvation Army. I do this in memory of my immigrant grandparents who were helped out by this organization when they first came to this country and when they struggled through the depression. Its also fun and helps get me in the Christmas spirit of giving being witness to so many people dropping money into the buckets.
4. I help both "light the tree" and "light the night" in an effort to stop cancer. Unfortunately, next Christmas I'll have more white lights on our community's memory tree, having lost more friends and family to this evil disease.
5. I feed the neighborhood posse and provide a safe place for them to hang out, away from drugs and alcohol. All through the years, we've opened up our home to the boys' friends, letting them know they are always welcome. Our Game Cave is a neighborhood favorite, plus I benefit from getting to know the friends of my children.
And here are 5 more I want to start in 2011!
1. Meals on Wheels
2. Our local Care Closet - its both a second hand goods store and a food pantry for our village
3. Child abuse prevention
4. Restoring our parks and creating walking paths
5. My neighbors - I know my neighbor across the street, having just lost his wife, will need more TLC visits and I'd love to bake up a little more friendship for all of my neighbors.
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Sunday, January 02, 2011
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Thoughts On New Year's Day 2011
I've spent most of New Year's Day, before watching the depressing Rose Bowl game, watching old videos of my children. Now I'm feeling sad because those little guys are gone, never to return. I am proud of the young men they have become, but recalling those early days causes me to mourn the end of their childhoods. Where has the time gone and how did we get here?
We spent New Year's Eve at home, enjoying Canadian Walleye. I'm blessed to have a husband who loves to cook fish. It was so tasty, I'm thinking we need a bigger freezer and a vacation home on a lake in Canada. It's probably too cold and the growing season too short for me to really be able to live up there, but those cold waters make some tasty eating fish! G-Ma brought over steaks to go with our supper, making it a surf and turf night.
We watched ridiculous TV midnight countdowns until midnight. Is it just me, or do these shows get worse every year?
The menfolk stayed up for midnight gaming, but I was ready to pass out by 1:00am. I did get up early and work from home, so this is probably why I was such a lightweight.
I've really enjoyed working from home these past two weeks. I wish I knew a way to make this a permanent situation. I can get so much done without the interruptions at the pool. I love not having to drive too! I guess it will feel good to get back to the routine and to see the many friendly faces at work. I've been having trouble trying to figure out what day of the week its been lately.
I'm still getting used to my medication. I feel good most of the day, but always around 3:00-4:00pm, I start to feel lightheaded and my stomach feels iffy. It's not quite nausea, but it's borderline. After supper, I usually feel better. I'm wondering if this medication is doing something to my blood sugar levels. My blood pressure readings have all been in the safe zone though, so that is good. I'm going to make some adjustments to my eating schedule, and see if that helps.
I'm off now, to kick back and relax. I feel like doing some old fashioned writing. The kind where there isn't a glowing rectangle staring you in the face. I need to feel the pen across the paper.
Have a Happy New Year!
We spent New Year's Eve at home, enjoying Canadian Walleye. I'm blessed to have a husband who loves to cook fish. It was so tasty, I'm thinking we need a bigger freezer and a vacation home on a lake in Canada. It's probably too cold and the growing season too short for me to really be able to live up there, but those cold waters make some tasty eating fish! G-Ma brought over steaks to go with our supper, making it a surf and turf night.
We watched ridiculous TV midnight countdowns until midnight. Is it just me, or do these shows get worse every year?
The menfolk stayed up for midnight gaming, but I was ready to pass out by 1:00am. I did get up early and work from home, so this is probably why I was such a lightweight.
I've really enjoyed working from home these past two weeks. I wish I knew a way to make this a permanent situation. I can get so much done without the interruptions at the pool. I love not having to drive too! I guess it will feel good to get back to the routine and to see the many friendly faces at work. I've been having trouble trying to figure out what day of the week its been lately.
I'm still getting used to my medication. I feel good most of the day, but always around 3:00-4:00pm, I start to feel lightheaded and my stomach feels iffy. It's not quite nausea, but it's borderline. After supper, I usually feel better. I'm wondering if this medication is doing something to my blood sugar levels. My blood pressure readings have all been in the safe zone though, so that is good. I'm going to make some adjustments to my eating schedule, and see if that helps.
I'm off now, to kick back and relax. I feel like doing some old fashioned writing. The kind where there isn't a glowing rectangle staring you in the face. I need to feel the pen across the paper.
Have a Happy New Year!
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