I'm making progress because the more I push through, the more I feel the push back.
I've been focusing on releasing fears and stress, trying to calm my mind. I'll reach a peaceful state only to have a flood of fear and tension return. I'm choosing to believe that as I get stronger, my mind knows I can take more on.
I recognize now the increased feelings of fear and stress are really nothing to FEAR and be STRESSED about. They only make me stronger because as they scream back at me, I have the opportunity to once again leave them behind. They may scream louder, but I grow stronger having had all of this practice at acknowledging them and releasing them. Eventually all of this negative energy will burn itself out because I've turned up the heat!
I know there are changes happening in my body as well. The foods I crave, the portions I eat, its all changing without me having to really worry about it. I understand now how worrying about what I ate, only added to the giant stress ball, rolling me away from my goals. Its interesting how actions I thought would help me were really trapping me.
I had very strange rage dreams. I was surrounded by mess and clutter, and I just kept screaming my head off, incoherently. I woke up thinking, whoa! Where did that come from? My subconscious knows I'm now reaching for order and peace. I expect it now to work with me rather than against me. It pitched a temper tantrum but that's over now. It's time to partner up and make this work!
3 comments:
Wow - some heavy stuff there! Acknowledging it is the key, and you have done that!! (((HUG)))
Sounds like you're making progress. Keep it up
Good work! Sounds like you've cleared a tremendous hurdle. :-)
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