The Sleepyhouse Garden 8/9/11

This is what I picked today from our garden. I need a bigger basket. The tomatoes are sitting in my new pottery bowl specially designed to drain your produce after you wash it.

Can you find the Habernero on the Swiss Chard? DS15 decided he wanted to pop it into his mouth and chew it up. (He of course, filmed the experience.) I tried to warn him how intense it would be. He bit the pepper in half and chewed it up in his mouth and swallowed!! DS12 and & I watched in amazement.

I almost thought I was going to have to dial 911. He drank large quantities of chocolate milk, tried a piece of bread and ice chips before deciding to eat an ice cream bar. I guess some lessons in life, you have to experience yourself.

Unschooling My Filmmaker Son

The cute check out girl saw him with his camera. He told her he was a filmmaker. She mentioned how when she was in high school she directed plays and loved building sets. (How can she be old enough to be out of high school?)

After we left with our groceries, I said to him, "Too bad you didn't have a business card to give her." I offered to later help him print out his own.

I came home from work and he showed me his first official business card. Apparently he didn't need my help.

I'm actually so very impressed he has taken so many steps on his own when it comes to his interest in film making. I've been here to offer suggestions, but he's gone further focusing on details I would have over looked. From designing marketing, to learning software, much of everything he's learned so far has come from his own determination and will.

Whether or not this is how he'll one day make his living doesn't matter. What is so awesome is that he's a full blown autodidact! All I did as his unschooling mother was give him the freedom to follow his own passions and provide a few resources. What I couldn't give him, he found himself. His creativity and resourcefulness has me amazed. Where did this come from?

I had to let go of fears of failure living this lifestyle. I came to realize failure was something that hopefully he would indeed experience! Failure is a necessity when it comes to finding success. Without failure, how can we learn and improve?

Approaching something new without fear holding you back, brings greater results. When you no longer fear failure, but instead use it to your advantage, it removes the risk factor. If this doesn't work out, we'll try something else. We'll keep trying until we get the results we want. We never give up because we're having fun just being engaged in the process.

Giving my children a safe place to fail opens up pathways to their success. How crazy is that?!

DS15 asked me to drive him to McDonald's so he could pick up a job application. I asked him what type of shift he was interested in and he told me the application was a prop for his movie. I love this kid!!!

Weekend Report 8/8/11

Its DMV day to renew my license and capture for the next several years the wonderful image of my pimple. Seriously, I don't care. My new mantra ~ Be Who You Are ~ means I'm accepting myself entirely for who I am at this very moment.

DH tells me, they no longer allow you to smile for your picture. My non smiling face looks like I'm really pissed off. I'm thinking about intensifying my eyes and making it really creepy. Why not have fun with it, right?

This past weekend was very full. Friday was garage sales & fish fry with the family & DMIL. Saturday was more garage sales, lunch out with the fam, supper out with my sis, seeing my nephew at his jazz gig. Sunday we attended our friend's Eagle Scout Court of Honor.

I didn't really find anything cool at the garage sales, but DS12 found 3 gallon sized bags full of bouncy balls for his collection for a $1, DS15 found a Gameboy game.

DS15 filmed our garage sale Cootie game. Have you ever done this? You pick up something from a free box and move it to another garage sale without the owner noticing. DS15 picked up a free blue book at the library book sale and later placed the book on a table of books for sale at another garage sale. You do this covertly of course! Later, the owner will be cleaning up after their sale is over and wonder how this book got there. Its a little bit sneaky and maybe a little mean, but it really doesn't hurt anyone. Most people in our town box everything up that didn't sell and give it to Goodwill.

Speaking of DS15's filming, he's really surprising me, delving into aspects of making a film I hadn't considered. For instance, he's created his own movie poster and painted a sign promoting his film which is now sitting outside our house for those driving by to see. I think its awesome he's thought through to the marketing stage of things!

Well, I better get moving here. Have a great Monday!

ICU 8/4/11

“This week we want to…”

We hope to unload a few things tomorrow at what I'm calling a low stress yard sale. We'll drag stuff out as we find it and price it when someone asks or when we get around to it. When we feel like closing up shop and doing some shopping of our own, we'll do it. G-Ma's coming for the weekend so it's going to fun!

Tomorrow night my nephew comes to Madison with his jazz group so we're hoping to catch a couple of his shows this weekend.

If the weather cooperates, its time to rip up some of the garden and get it ready to plant fall crops.

“The kids are…”

Setting up their separate bedrooms. Cleaning is changing over to decorating. We're hoping to find some cool furniture pieces and bookcases at the garage sales this weekend.

DS15 has started yet another movie. I'm losing count of how many he's currently working on, but that's a sign of genius. Do you know how many projects DaVinci started and never finished? I'm disappointed I don't get to see the "dailies", but this only will make me urge him to finish so I can finally see his work.

DS12 is heading out on longer bike rides. I have to let go a little more, and not worry. I have to remember when I was his age, I rode my bike all over our town, all day long.

“I am learning….”

About bullies. I have to write a blog about it for work. Honestly, we don't have much experience with this since we homeschool. My son was once cyberbullied by his cousin but he dealt with it really well, "unfriending" him. Emotionally, he had no trouble walking away with his self confidence intact. We have friends from the neighborhood, and homeschool friends, but it ended up being a relative who picked on my son.

“I am struggling with…”

Not feeling well physically. I still have this mysterious dry, scratchy sore throat. I need a cool, fresh air, breezy day where I can open up the house and air it out.

“This week is the first time….”

My mind's blank on this one at the moment.

“I am grateful…”

For my Soul One. Its sappy, I know, I but I truly love him so much. I know he'll always have my back.

“Something God has taught me this week is…”

To remember to try and understand where people are coming from. We're all learning and growing all the time, and we all have different lessons from life's experiences.

Maybe I Shouldn't Drink The Water?

I'm either fighting off a bug, or I need to call our village about the water supply. The past few days, I've felt like I might be getting a sore throat and at times, my stomach feels iffy. I'm not full blown sick, but I can tell, my immune system is busy.

This morning DH mentioned at the end of his shower, the water smelled funny. This reminded me of how lately certain loads of laundry have come out smelling funky rather than clean.

In the past, we usually get the mailed notice from the health department weeks too late, "such and such has been found in the city water supply." I've noticed for some time now added chlorine to our tap water. I work at a pool and I'm used to chlorine odor, so the fact I can smell it in our tap water is not a good thing. We try to filter our water, but showers and washing water are not filtered.

Sometimes I don't like that my body is so sensitive but on the other hand, it keeps me away from these toxins by bringing my attention to it.

Anyone Have Any Cheese To Go With My Whine?

I have summer's version of cabin fever. We're all in a funk actually. We need this weather to change.

I picked some Swiss Chard to throw directly into my smoothie,and I swear it tasted cooked. I suppose it actually was given how hot and humid it is outside. I usually like eating food fresh from the garden because it tastes "alive." If you ever had a tomato right from the vine, you know what I'm talking about. The plant's cells are still living when you consume it within minutes, and this effects the taste and nutritional value. I only wish my garden wasn't being so abused by this weather!

I have to leave for work today early, which I suppose given my mood, this isn't so bad. It would be different if we were enjoying these summer days, but we're not. Why not escape away to work?

I just need to get through today and hopefully tomorrow the temperatures will be in the 80's. Throw in a good thunderstorm and I'll be happy.

We're going to try and throw together a last minute yard sale. Our village has their official garage sale weekend starting Friday. We're going to drag stuff out on Friday and see if anyone cruising by wants any of it. I'm also planning on dragging stuff out and marking it FREE FOR THE TAKING. The goal here is to purge as much stuff as possible. I also told the boys any money that comes in is all theirs to split. Hopefully that will get them motivated.

Chocolate Zucchini Muffins

Description:
Experimenting with trying to make a low fat, low sugar, chocolate baked treat, I created these moist, yummy muffins.

Ingredients:
2 L eggs
1 t vanilla
1/2 C brown sugar
1/2 C apple sauce
1 1/2 C shredded zucchini

1 C flour
1/2 C cocoa powder
1 t baking soda
1/4 t baking powder
1/2 t cinnamon
1/2 t pumpkin pie spice
3/4 C chocolate chips


Directions:
Mix the eggs, vanilla, apple sauce and brown sugar.
Stir in the zucchini.

In a separate bowl, mix the flour cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon and pumpkin pie spice. Mix in the chocolate chips.

Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and stir until combined.

Spray a muffin tin with non-stick spray. Fill muffin cups with 1/2 c of batter.

Bake in a preheated 350 oven for 25 minutes or until set.

When I woke up, I saw condensation on the windows. After a few minutes of feeling cool, I checked the thermostat. We normally set it at 80. It was on 72! Who bumped it!!??

Day 3 of roller arms. Hoping its the last coat needed!

ICU for 7/28/11

“This week we want to…”

Finish painting DS15's room, pay a little TLC attention to the rest of the house, buy a bike lock, renew my driver's license, haircuts - (I guess this is more what I want to accomplish.)

“The kids are…”

DS15 is still working on making his short film. He posted on his Facebook page the other day, "Making a movie is a challenge, but a challenge is what I'm after."

I'm so proud of him for sticking with it, despite all the challenges of making a film with a zero budget. I know he's having trouble scheduling actors. We suggested that he start a film making group in the area, and he'll meet more people interested in film making. They could learn from each other and support one another.

“I am learning….”

How to slow down. I'm not getting as much done, but quality is at times, more important than quantity. I'm applying this approach at work and connecting more with customers. I think its really paying off.

“I am struggling with…”

The summer weather. I'm burnt out, no pun intended. I need a nice cool, even briskly cold day to refresh my spirit. I'm a creature who craves change. Day after day of hot and humid, I feel like a flower wilting. Maybe its my genetic makeup, coming from cold weather stock, but I swear I'd rather add another layer than sit in this central air tight box another day.

“This week is the first time….”

I haven't been paying that close attention I guess. I can't think of any firsts this past week.

“I am grateful…”

My body heals. Sore arms from painting are feeling better now. Next came a sore knee, followed by a sore ankle. Thankfully, this morning, except for the typical sinus irritation, all my parts feel like working.

Hey, don’t head off just yet, we have a new thought for you to ponder this week.

What is the worst thing you ever forgot to do?

Honestly, I can't think of anything, but that's probably because I have a weak memory to begin with. If I forgot something serious, I have forgotten that I've forgotten it.

I know I forget stuff all the time. God did not give me a good memory. Maybe that's why I like to stick to being honest most of the time. You have to have a good memory to be a liar.

Mostly I can't remember dates or time frames. I cannot tell you what year I had my gall bladder removed, but I can remember my parents came to help out, and I watched Lord Of The Rings movies all day recovering from the out patient surgery.

I know my children's birthdates, but I can't put ages to specific memories like what happened to them when they were 7. I remember when my son got his finger caught under the skateboard and scraped away his entire fingernail, but I can't tell you how old he was when this happened. I just remember his body size. He ran to the one place he could think of to find physical comfort, his bed. He laid there clutching his wrist, holding his hand in the air, praying, "Please God! Please God! Make it stop hurting!" I remember feeling helpless, looking at his bleeding finger and realizing his fingernail was completely scraped off. I couldn't apply pressure to it. I couldn't wrap it up or put anything on it. All I could do is pray with him. 

I remember emotions. I get lost in specifics.

I'm amazed at how my DH can recall not only every movie we've seen but what theater we saw it in! I'm grateful to have a partner who can fill in all the details of our life together since I'm severely lacking in this ability.

Serious brain cloud today. I'm sure its this heat and humidity. I don't think we've ever run our central air this continuously before. No end in sight. :(

Realizations This Morning

That's not fair. Although I did indeed sleep, I was sick and exhausted in my dreams so guess how I woke up feeling.

I chugged my water and went back to the basics - banana/strawberry smoothie - and after dwelling in the land of the conscious, I'm realizing I'm not sick, although I wouldn't exactly say I'm feeling rested.

Yesterday we primed DS15's new room. The fumes stuck in my sinuses are probably what's triggering this downfall. Today I should paint, but after wearing too much primer to work last night, I'm wondering if heading to work a little green would be a good thing.

At least we have the color choice picked out. After looking at paint chips, DS15 & I chose one only to come home and realize its almost the same color that's in his current bedroom.

I'm also coming to realize that although I've been practicing relaxing meditations, I'm still not relaxing before I eat something. I've been trying to make healthier choices, but it dawned on this Dawn yesterday, I need to consciously stop before I eat anything, take several deep breaths, find peace and then begin to eat. On a subconscious level, my body is still in survival mode so my fat switch is still on.

I've been stuck in an exercising rut with this hot summer weather, yet I noticed my body felt achy. Am I getting old? Nope, its the physical work I've been getting trying to fix up the nest. Scraping wallpaper and rolling paint woke up some muscles I wasn't using walking.

Deciding whether I want to go to work being green tonight.

What A Photo Can Trigger In A Mother's Heart

I just found a photo, ten years old. I mourn those little boys forever gone, yet still here. Don't you wish you could clone your children and have them at every age forever?

I need a baby son to cuddle and rock. I need a toddler son I can help take those first steps. I need his 4 year old self, making peanut butter crackers for himself for the first time. I need the giggles and laughter at bedtime, the silly entertaining questions that never stop.

I'm proud of the young men they have become and being here, in this moment, as they transform before my very eyes, I enjoy imagining what their futures will bring. Yet I mourn for those years gone by, so many precious moments now only memories.

I'm blessed to have had every minute with them I was given. I still want a time machine though. I want to read Chicka Chicka Boom Boom one more time. I want to burrito wrap you and wear you in the sling, holding you as close to my heart as I can get. I want to race Matchbox cars and ride couch cushions down the stairs like sleds. I want to cut your sandwiches into shapes and make funny faces with fruit on our plate.

I'm happy we still go for hikes together, and I can introduce you to 80's rock. We get to watch grown up movies and compare social media notes. You teach me more than I teach you these days, and that's something wonderful I wouldn't trade for anything. When you leave my nest, will I be able to figure out the video camera by myself?

I'm learning to let go, but you should know I always will be here, when you need me. I wish I could have had more time to show you everything, but I understand now this wasn't my responsibility. I only had to show you where to find the wind. Your sails and tiller belong to you. You're on a journey I can't keep you from, with destinations I can only dream of.

I'm writing because I don't want to move and I feel like complaining.

It seems easier to sit here and babble, rather than get up.

Last night the roller coaster dropped out from under DH, but it appears the ride may finally be over. He was stressing over working on a project for his ex-coworker. It was going to be the final project and from this point on, he was going to say no. The stress isn't worth it. Well after spending several weeks dealing with this, the project got pulled from him. On the plus side, he doesn't have to stress over it anymore. On the minus, he most likely will not get paid for the time he's already put into it. I'm just happy it is finally over and he can cut the cord from all ties to his past employment. It was such a toxic situation. My DH is the type of guy who wants to help out when he can, but unfortunately helping this ex-coworker brought nothing but stress. They really took advantage of my husband and I'm happy this will never happen again.

After the brakes cooled on the above situation, DH & I went out for an impromptu date to the bigger library in the next town over. It was wonderful to browse for a hour, but I made the mistake of walking past the computer area. I'm always disgusted with how many creeps are viewing porn. I'm sure the librarians are too intimidated to stop them. At least this library has separate computer sections for teens and children.

Can I complain about something else that's been offending me? Have you seen that Summer's Eve hail to the V commercial? The first time I saw it, was before the Harry Potter movie, with my teen boys. I was appalled. Click Here to see the commercial. Was this appropriate to show before a family movie? (I know HP is PG/PG13, but still.) I'm more offended by the suggestion women need to make ourselves "clean" because men are "fighting for it." A man should honor a woman for who she is, not for what her vagina smells like!

I'll stop complaining now. I'm looking forward to having a real weekend with my family. There's no where we have to be, no where we have to go. We're going to work more on getting DS15's room ready and just go with the groove and see where life takes us.

Have a great weekend!

WHOA! I almost had a spider in my smoothie. She didn't want to let go of the Swiss Chard. I can't say I blame her. I wonder if I would have woke up with spidey powers?

ICU Meme for 7/20/11

“This week we want to…” Stay cool. With this heat wave, its almost impossible to do much outside. DS12 still insists on riding his bike several miles each day, and he comes back soaked. I can barely stand being outside long enough to water the garden. This weekend hopefully we'll get DS15's room at least primed for painting. The wallpaper came down easier than I expected. I also want to take advantage of some "back to school" sales, even though we aren't going "back to school." We all could use new shoes and I'm such a sucker for marker/colored pencil sales.

“The kids are…” DS15 finished making props for his movie. Apparently he raised the suspicion of someone driving by when he was spray painting his Nerf gun black. He kept thinking the police were going to pull up. Filming will begin soon. DS12 is improving his fitness, (see above.) Seriously, I wish I was able to commit to an exercise program like he does.

“I am learning….” How to make soap. I'm going to order my materials soon and gather equipment together. I'm hoping to be able to make soap that won't make my skin dry out.

“I am struggling with…” I haven't been walking. Its too hot outside, and I just can't stand the boredom of the treadmill. I'm making excuses, I know, but there's another part of me that wants a break. I feel like I'm juggling so much right now.

My dreams have been reflecting this. They are filled with anxiety. In one, our parakeet Tornado escaped from his cage. Suddenly he turned into a dozen birds, and I didn't know how to save them all before Yumi got any. I realized in the dream, GET THE CAT, not the birds.

I know this meant I need to figure out what the real threat is, and not let all the stressful details of life get to me. Its all in how I, "the cat", choose to respond to stress. Its not about focusing on how to solve it all, but rather, how not to let it get to me. 

“This week is the first time….” I made Pesto. I used walnuts instead of pine nuts and froze it using an ice cube tray. I just thaw out as many cubes as we need and toss with freshly cooked pasta. The recipe I found doesn't use too much olive oil, and I of course threw in a few extra cloves of garlic! :) 

“I am grateful…” For central air - Seriously, without it I'd be crying. I can't sleep unless I'm cool.

Hey, don’t head off just yet, we have a new thought for you to ponder this week.

Now, I do NOT believe it’s helpful to keep looking in the past, but sometimes what we’ve gone through can help others, so with that in mind……

If you could do it all over again, what is one thing you would choose to do differently in regards to homeschooling/unschooling?  I would have trusted unschooling sooner. I wish I could go back and relax more. I didn't do a good job of modeling how to relax. I had to learn the hard way through the early years, how to trust unschooling. Thankfully kids are resilient and no permanent damage was done. 

Weekend Report 7/18/11

Thursday night we drove in and met DH for pizza. He was finishing up a business meeting. The boys didn't have that great a time because the business associate stayed and had pizza with us. It was either the unhealthy food or the strange company, but by the time I got home, my stomach was queasy.

Friday I was feeling better and happy to know DH was going to be home early for a change. We headed out that night for our favorite Mexican restaurant. We normally don't go there on Fridays so it was a different crew. Our food was still excellent, but the service was lacking. We've always had wonderful experiences so it was a shock. When we go back, it will be a lunchtime thing on a weekend.

I had the grilled chicken tacos which don't come with cheese but rather just grilled meat in corn tortillas. They give you re-fried beans and a bowl of pico de gallo you can top your tacos with. I skip the corn shells and eat the grilled chicken piled high with the tomatoes, onion and peppers and beans. My family orders the steak version but they don't want their pico de gallo. They give it all to me!

I think this low or no gluten meal sits better with me. I'm tempted to try more gluten free meals, but it seems daunting to go completely gluten free.

Saturday I scraped away the last of the evil wallpaper. We are re-decorating the guest room to be a room for DS15. Using my friend's technique, it actually came down better than I expected. (Thanks Cherie!) First you rip the outer layer off, leaving the paper glue backing. Using a spray bottle with warm water, wet down the paper glue backing. Wait a minute or two and then scrape up a corner. Grab the loose paper with your hand and gently pull back the rest of the paper. You still have to scrape a bit, but you'll be amazed at how much of the paper comes off just pulling.

Saturday afternoon while driving to a co-worker's baby shower, I wondered why my legs felt so weak. I realized while scraping off the wallpaper, I was standing on beds most of the time. My legs had been basically on a rebounding trampoline all morning. Got a workout without thinking about it!

DH stayed home working, the boys had friends over, while I was at the shower. When I got home, we cooked up tacos because apparently, I didn't get enough re-fried beans the day before. LOL! My favorite comfort food lately- re-fried beans with onions, tomatoes and peppers, using those little circle taco chips to dip into it with. It must be all the heat that makes me want to eat the salt and hot, spicy food.

To beat the heat on Sunday, we all went to see Harry Potter. I thought it was okay, but of course, the books have so much more detail. Without spoiling anything, there is an event in the books that is gut wrenching, but in the movie it was portrayed with distance. I was really disappointed. I really think it would have been better to have a series on TV, with each book being a season. There's just so much lost detail in the movies.

DS15 has begun rehearsing/filming his movie. He almost has the props built. I have to take him to the hardware store to buy spray paint. I think its ridiculous he can't buy this on his own - stupid laws.

DS12 has been making me nervous exercising outside in this heat. He goes for daily bike rides and comes back dripping. I've warned him about heat exhaustion, but I have to let go and allow him to be responsible for his own body. He tells me his route and I watch the clock. I know he'll make safe choices, but he's still my baby. :)

This week ahead, I'm going to try and beat the heatwave, spending much of our time indoors in the central air.

Shhh! Don't tell! I'm sneaking blueberries into the movies.