"Love ain't love until you give it up.." - Vedder

Catching Up....

While the cinnamon rolls enjoy their last rising, I'll try to jot a few notes here, rambling, babbling style.

We tagged our Christmas tree yesterday. I was worried we wouldn't find one as the farm we traditionally purchase our tree from, has had flood damage, and their tree inventory is dwindling. We found a Balsam Fir rather quickly though, as if it was waiting just for us. We'll head back the day after Thanksgiving, saw it down and bring it home.

The tree farm offers early tagging of their Christmas trees so that you can hunt for your tree before it gets too cold. Ironically, it snowed yesterday. We had our first snow flurries of the season, but thankfully, they didn't stick around. I'd like to know where our Indian Summer is.

Somehow, our house is staying warm and we haven't had to turn our heat on yet. At night our comforters help, and during the day, I'm usually baking something in the oven which helps heat our main level. After living in both styles of home, I can say I really do prefer ranch with a basement. The basement naturally holds a comfortable underground temperature, cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter.

Our underground is also holding 7 teen aged boys at the moment. DS14's sleep over was last night. During the week they worked hard at cleaning up the basement, I mean Mancave, and they are enjoying their game all night, no sleep weekend. The only thing I've had to do is provide pizza and the traditional homemade cinnamon roll breakfast. (Which I should now throw into oven. Be right back.)

I even snuck out with my sister for a little shopping, while DH provided the necessary adult supervision. It was mostly dream shopping though, since earlier this week, I had to remove a big chunk of funds for car maintenance. It hurt, but had to be done.

What also hurts, but has to be done, is my having to really watch everything I eat. I thought I was doing a great job, walking, eating more fruit and veg, but at my doctor's checkup, my weight was up along with my blood pressure. It was quite a shock, because I thought I had been doing everything right. I felt lost, but after the shock and depression wore off, I'm back in the fight.

On the plus side, I haven't been full blown sick in a very long while, so I know the healthy food and walking has helped. What I probably didn't have control of was portion size and sodium intake. So now I'm measuring everything along with counting calories using igoogle's free calorie counter application. It makes logging what I eat a little less painful, but I'm a bit obsessed with numbers.

Maybe its my frugal, penny pinching nature, but I don't want to see that calorie number climb. I have to be careful though, because years ago, I developed an eating disorder, trying to consume as little calories as necessary. I wasn't anorexic, but I was not eating healthy when I was trying to get by on 500 calories a day.

I'm trying for a more realistic 1500-1800 with 45 minutes of exercise a day. My doctor was great in suggesting I only try to lose 3 pounds in 8 weeks, but what has me more concerned is the blood pressure number. That's the real number I want to see come down.

I better go and make up some icing for the rolls. Talk to you later! :) 

Still have too much do and not enough time for myself. :(

Back Spacer

Rating:	★★★★★
Category:	Music
Genre:	Alternative Rock
Artist:	Pearl Jam

Since my Melon boys are on hold, I picked up Pearl Jam's latest release, Back Spacer. Every single song is a classic and speaks to my soul. I cannot get enough of this album the past few weeks.

My wake up call came loud and clear today! I need to schedule in some time for soul searching and make sure I'm choosing the path I belong on.

I'm trying really hard to remember what a blessing it is to see a doctor for wellness checkups. I'm so not in the mood to wear a paper dress, in a germ invested office and well, you know!!! I'll go for my family and in remembrance of my family and friends who fought the fight. Its not about my needs, but the needs of my family. They want me to be around for as long as a I can be.

Passing this great article along. Be sure to read all the way to the bottom for flu prevention tips. They really do work! http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/10/06/Why-You-Should-NOT-Vaccinate-Your-Children-Against-the-Flu-This-Season.aspx

Can't Believe He Is 14 Today!

How can one of my babies be so old?

How can he now be only 1 year away from getting a learner's permit and driving a car?

How can he be sleeping this day away?

I should wake him up. 14 years ago today, around this very same time of the morning we did. We took him from his protected, warm place of growth and with his first breath, he began to scream.

My first thought was- Oh NO! My baby boy is really angry!! I couldn't see him at first. I was strapped down and paralyzed, a major downside to having a C-section. I was assured the crying was a good thing, but when you can't see your crying infant and your abdomen is sliced wide open, you feel very helpless.

Safe and securely wrapped, burrito style, Jakob stopped crying in the arms of my husband. From my horizontal vantage point, my first sight of my son was of his little pinky finger, all curled in. It looked exactly like my husband's, and I knew right away, this was my baby! 

Jake has always looked just like my husband, perhaps with a little bit of my genes softening the edges, and as he grows, he shows more of my husband's mannerisms and personality traits. His taste bud DNA has to be from his father as well.

We took him out to eat, in honor of his birthday, and he chose Red Lobster for all you can eat shrimp scampi. He really enjoyed it and so did my husband of course! Jared skips ordering a meal at Red Lobster, preferring to fill up on cheddar biscuits. Can't say I blame him. Those cheesy, garlic rolls are awesome! Grandma had Flounder, and I ordered my usual Tilapia with garlic mashed potatoes- better than cake and ice cream if you ask me!

Speaking of cake and ice cream, we had a little pre-birthday party celebration with our cousins Saturday night. I ate too much sugar and it only confirmed to me, its worth it to keep making healthy food choices. I was sure I was getting the stomach flu, but it must of just been the crud I ate. Its not worth losing out on the opportunity to celebrate with family because you make yourself ill with poor food choices. I'm not a kid anymore. I can't tolerate the occasional sugar binge without repercussions.

We gave DS14 his presents Sunday night, thinking he could spend all of today enjoying them. I've heard a rumor he didn't go to bed last night until 5:00am. I better allow him to sleep in while I get all nostalgic.

Would you want an implantable chip that tells the world you have a virus in you? Copy and paste this link: http://www.reuters.com/article/hotStocksNews/idUSTRE58K4BZ20090921 Please don't allow fear to control you!

Having a great weekend, enjoying my family. Was sure I was getting a stomach bug, but have managed to fight it back! Yeah!

Missed you all today. Too much working, not enough playing!

How Can It Be October already?

Life seems to be moving too fast. Maybe its everything on my plate, but another part of me wonders, is the earth spinning around the sun faster? How would we know if the entire universe sped up?

When I ponder these questions, I also realize I can look back at my past and feel those memories were created so long ago, yet also close by as well. I can feel an eternal connection, but also the movement of time forward gives me the dizzies from time to time.

Its about time management and prioritizing. Some days though, I have to give these tasks up and just go with the flow. It was once explained to me, I prefer to ride the raft, not cling to the sides of the bank. I was also told though, my river runs deep.

I suppose I should then realize, deep waters mean less rapids! So why does it feel right now, like I'm about to be thrown from the boat? Maybe its time to dig my paddle in and find those deeper waters?

This blog post was a good place to start, don't you think?:)

I refuse to put the heat on yet. Bring me another layer.

Honeycrisp, I love you.....

Special K wasn't quite special enough this morning. I was hungry again after only an hour. Honeycrisp apple to the rescue! Remembering I was too busy to eat it last night at work, I dug it out of my work bag and along with another cup of warm tea, its hitting the spot. If you've never tried a Honeycrisp, pay the extra pennies and give one a try. They are so crisp and juicy, a perfect blend of sweet with a little bit of tartness.

The boys have dentist checkups today, which I'm dreading as well. I know they will recommend DS10 see an orthodontist again. I'm just not sure he's ready for braces. I want him to be mature enough to commit to taking good care of his teeth. I had braces and was not self disciplined enough to get over the embarrassment of brushing my teeth at school. After the brackets came off, I had enamel damage. I want DS10 to feel like he has some say in this decision, plus I'm not sure how we're going to pay for it.

DS13 also expressed how much he hates dental appointments. The picking, the drilling, he's very sensitive to dental pain. I can't figure out if its just anxiety or if he really doesn't respond to Novocaine. He did have one bad experience when our usual dentist wasn't there. The substitute drilled and filled his tooth without Novocaine. Now we insist on seeing only our dentist, but even with this, the last time DS13 needed work done, he said he felt it the entire time. He asked for more Novocaine and our dentist gave it to him, but it didn't help.

Why does tooth pain have to be so severe? Teeth aren't that big. I'd rather get a pap smear and a boob smash than have my teeth cleaned. Is it because those nerve endings are so much closer to your brain? I find it annoying as well that your teeth will hurt if your sinuses are bothered. I wish our teeth were like shark teeth. Wouldn't it be better if we could just keep growing more?

Tuesday's ramble...

Frost advisory tonight. It seems too early, but when I think about all the nature cues, its not surprising. Most of the geese and ducks have lone gone, the squirrels have been ramped up OCD style, digging and burying their food supply, and even the garden seemed to shut down early.

I think I'm ready though. I had DH haul out the extra down comforter, and I scored at the Farm & Fleet store yesterday- "Lowest prices of the season", grabbing us a few pairs of jeans. Now if only I can find my socks. Preferring to be barefoot, I'm always challenged when it comes to finding socks and footwear.

I'm motivated to pull the looms back out and knit more caps and try scarfs too. The chill in the air has me wanting to bake, and I'm back brewing and drinking my tea on the hot side.

I'm trying Hawthorne Berry tea. I've read its good for your heart and circulatory system. I also heard it may help RLS. I read that many believe in the healing power of Hawthorne Berry because its believed Christ's crown of thorns was made from Hawthorne Berry branches. Of course I thought that was cool, and I had to Google to see if I could grow a Hawthorne Berry bush in my yard!

The boys have been enjoying their new Xbox 360 and I'm surprised it hasn't consumed all their time like I thought it would. Its just another console to play different games. They are still enjoying other activities.

Yesterday they took turns sawing down the wild Mulberry bush trees that had taken over on the corners of our Sleepyhouse. I love how easy Mulberries spread and the fact the birds love them, but the reality is, we can't have them growing so close to the house and risk damaging the foundation. We still have a larger tree on the corner of our lot. The boys did a bit of pruning, removing the branches touching the ground. Hopefully this helps strengthen the tree. I know all the sawing will help strengthen my boys' arms!

I think even though it may be scary to watch your baby yield sharp tools, its good to place them in their hands with supervision. I can remember years ago our doctor warned me that boys have a natural fasnication with knives. I thought at the time, whatever, how can he know, but later discovered it was true. So we've always tried to be there, guiding them as to how sharp they can be, and the damage that will occur if you don't focus and concentrate on using them correctly.

Case in point, the day mom almost took off her finger tip slicing a bagel. Had the blade not caught in the bone, her fingertip would have popped off! And yesterday, peeling butternut squash too quickly, her DNA almost was added to the risotto. Its amazing how many times I've warned my children only to injure myself! LOL!

At the library yesterday, I saw the latest issue of National Geographic. It has a really cool fold out poster of a giant Redwood tree. I have to see if I can buy a copy of the magazine now, just for the poster! I love trees and its on my bucket list to see a Redwood. The people climbing the giant tree looked like ants.

Speaking of ants, we watched a Goosebumps video, Awesome Ants last night. We borrowed a whole slew of Goosebumps videos at the library, getting in the Halloween spirit. There's something about curling up under a blanket and watching a scary video together when its cold and dark outside that is comforting and bonding.

I guess I've babbled enough. I better get up and get moving. Have a great Tuesday!

Baked Brown Rice & Squash Risotto

Description:
I adapted this recipe to make it more healthy and vegetarian. I wasn't prepared for how much it would make! It would make a great side dish at family gatherings or for a pot luck.

This version is sweet and savory. I'm inspired to alter this recipe next time, making something entirely sweet and dessert like, a pumpkin/squash rice pudding, using vanilla soy milk instead of veggie broth, skipping the onion,pepper and Parmesan cheese, and adding nuts and dried cranberries. I'll also try making it in a slow cooker, rather than the oven.

Ingredients:
4 C low sodium vegetable broth
2 C brown rice (uncooked)
2 C diced raw butternut squash (peel and remove seeds first)
1 1/2 C canned pumpkin (not pumpkin pie filling)
1 small yellow onion, minced
1 t pepper (or to taste)

2 t dried basil or 1/2 C chopped fresh basil
1/4 C finely grated Parmesan cheese
2 T non fat, plain yogurt

Directions:
Pre-heat oven to 400F

In a 3 quart baking dish, add veggie broth, rice, squash, pumpkin and onion and stir gently to combine. COVER with aluminum foil tightly and bake for 30 minutes.

Remove from the oven and stir to see if the rice has absorbed all the broth. Return to oven if the rice has not yet puffed and absorbed all the liquid. (I had to bake mine for another 15 minutes.)

When the dish has finished baking, stir in the basil, Parmesan cheese and yogurt to give it a final, comfort food, creamy texture.

Clouds look heavy, with a desire to fall down. Wind is dancing with the trees, stretching those branches. Its a blustery, beautiful autumn day, and I've got a warm, hug in a cup in my grasp. Life is good!

Choosing To Stay Well

So much to do, project lists keep getting longer, yesterday didn't go entirely as planned, and I found myself so fatigued. By the end of the day, I was an official couch potato, but I think I needed it. I'm sure my body is fighting off colds and flu.

Speaking of flu, I know a week from now, when I head in for my yearly checkup, my doctor will ask if I want a flu shot. I've gotten by all these years without one, and frankly its been almost 2 years since I've been full blown flu sick. I've had those times where I think I'm getting sick, but have always been able to stay ahead of it and beat it back. I'd rather try to eat healthy, exercise and try other natural, immunity boosting ideas.

I know I may be taking a risk, but after reading about the possible negative effects of flu shots, I feel better choosing alternatives that are known not to have any adverse effects, even if those alternatives may not offer total protection.

I know this means I need to be disciplined. I need to exercise everyday, stay away from sugar, and veggie up. I need to also listen to my body and rest when it needs the down time. I can't allow the stress and pressure of life to take my focus off of taking care of myself.

I'm not comfortable with giving away this responsibility to a needle and syringe. I really don't want things done for me. I'm more of a do it herself kind of person. In fact, when I do get sick, this is what stresses me out, I can't take care of myself and those I love.

I'm an autodidact. I'm a home schooling mother. I know many wonderful things are possible when you choose to take on those challenges yourself. I'm not going to allow fear to make decisions for me.

If I do get sick, at least I'll know I gave my body what it needs to fight off the bugs, and hopefully the virus won't find my temple an inviting place.

On that note, I'm going to tie my own shoes, move my legs, swing my arms and breathe it in and out, on my own. No one can do this for me, and this gift I give myself, means so much.

Yumi, our naughty cat, has discovered she can hook her claws into the screen door and pull it open. Now we have a house full of flies and grasshoppers.

X-Box 360 Day?

We made it to Friday, but I can't completely relax until DH is home, and our family is united for the weekend. I'm happy about not having anything pressing to do, but the spring in my step is missing, and I think its because I'm missing my husband.

I have a complete love affair with my husband. From the day I met him, I didn't want to be away from him. He is my Soul One. To me, he's the person who makes life a party. Nothing is as fun without him.

The boys have saved and today is the day, I believe, we will shop for an Xbox 360. Originally they were saving for the Pro model, but prices have dropped by $100 and if we buy the Elite model before October 3rd, we can qualify for a $50 rebate. We are now really just comparing warranties.

Radio Shack is in the lead, but that would also mean, we'd have to wait another week for delivery. Today, I promised to research Walmart's warranty policy. (Shuddering!!) I am not a fan of Wal-Fart at all, but the XBox is priced the same at all retailers. It comes down to the warranty prices and what they include. I prefer Target, but their electronic warranties do not have great reviews. Best Buy is a nightmare as well.

I think I'm going to make this experience a little less painful for me, by waiting for DH's work day to end, suggesting we meet for supper at Pizza Oven and then heading over to Wal-fart as a family.

Have a great weekend!