Night Before Doctor Visit Jitters - 8/26/12

I should be trying to sleep, but I have too much anxiety about seeing doctors tomorrow, first my GP then the neurologist.

I hate physicals. I understand they are important, but I just feel so uncomfortable. My doctor's office is always really hot, which doesn't help. Laying on the paper which sticks to me every time I attempt to move, I can't help but feel like a piece of meat.

I'm sure I'm going to be too self conscious, to remember to ask about all the things I want to bring up. Hopefully I don't forget my notebook, where I've jotted some things down I want to cover.

The nurse will give me a hard time about how I'm overdue for my boob smoosh and vaccinations, but frankly, I've been too concerned about my recent trigeminal neuralgia diagnosis. I wish I could skip the physical and just pow wow with the neurologist.

I've been keeping a notebook recording my symptoms. I thought that would help, but sometimes it freaks me a little. The level 8-9 attacks are practically gone, and I can count on my hands how many times I reach 5-7 levels each week, but I'm still having episodes that feel like 3's or other types of symptoms.

Sometimes it feels like I've been poked with a needle repeatably in my mouth and it feels stiff, like when your novacaine shot wears off and the gum tissue feels achy. That lasts sometimes all day long.  Sometimes I feel pain in my left nostril in addition to my cheek and jaw. I've had moments of tinglying from the back of my head wrapping around to my left face, or sometimes its just the left half of my lips experiencing a pins and needles sensation. I've also noticed the hearing in my left ear seems to be affected.

I've also developed triggers. When this first started for me, it would happen with no rhyme or reason. Sometimes that is still the case, but now I notice eating and laughing can cause attacks for me. I'm sensitive to hot or cold food and drink. Loud noises trigger my TN too.

If I get tired, it gets worse.

If I am stressed, it gets worse.

So I really shouldn't be up now, worrying about my doctor visits right!!

It is helping to get the worries out of my head, and type them into the glowing, rectangle facing me right now.

My goal tomorrow is not to worry about being judged. My goal is information. I have to focus on that.

If you're read this far, thank you. I'm going to try and do some relaxing meditations and hopefully I will fall asleep. I'll let you know how tomorrow goes.

Peace and love to you!