Unschoolers Are Not Guilty Of Educational Neglect

My quickie note today is in response to having read this article. Click here.

This woman believes Unschooling parents are guilty of child neglect. Her article created a firestorm, and the next day she posted another article, sort of a retraction.

Personally, when I read the original article, I thought this woman was extremely judgmental and had no clue what unschooling really was. I wasn't offended but rather felt sympathy for her ignorance.

I had DS13 read it for his take. He shared my sentiment. He assured me, he hasn't felt educationally neglected in the slightest. He also told me it wasn't worth posting a response to tell her how wrong she is. "She is too close minded."

The majority of unschooling parents I know share much more of their lives with their children than parents who send their children away for their education. How could I neglect them if I'm with them practically 24/7 unless I were, let's say, to confine them in a room, with holding bathroom and snack breaks unless I said it was time for them, and forbidding them from leaving? (Oh wait, I think I know where this is done and its not usually one's home.)

My children live and learn each day. I haven't placed them in a vacuum. They are free to explore the world around them. They are free to ask questions and follow their interests. The only limits I impose are those of safety.

This woman should meet my children. They are respectful, self motivated, creative, loving individuals. How did they end up like this? We loved them, unconditionally, and treated them with respect. We will always respect their feelings, their curiosity, their creativity. Can you imagine a world if we all did this for each other?

My sister once said my children were "Stepford children," because they were too well behaved. Yes, I guess we are freaks in that way.

When I asked my oldest if he felt like a freak because we unschool, he said, "Mom, I think we are normal and everyone else are freaks." I don't worry about my children's self confidence and self esteem.

I asked my son if he regretted not being able to read on his own until he was around age 8-9, not age 5. He said he still found enjoyment from books because we read them out loud together. It was an experience of sharing and bonding. 

If I were new to unschooling, perhaps this woman's comments would have razzled me, but after the 10 plus years we've been living and learning together through life at home, I pity this woman who has no clue how much greener the grass is over here.

I feel so blessed to have had the chance to share my children's lives on a day to day basis as they've grown through the years, but also have my desire to constantly learn more about the world around me re-awakened. They have taught me to question things and always strive for happiness.

I really believe God created us all different, with different interests. We are wired to naturally have curiosity and it is impossible not to learn. Scientists actually have proven the brain is constantly making neuron pathways. It is impossible not to learn, (even if you are confined to a desk all day.) Can you imagine the things you could do without limits on your curiosity?

Unschooling means I do not look at the clock and say, "Oh, its 2:00pm. Time to stop figuring out how to write the number you get when you multiply one million times one million. You need to study biology now."

If neglect is "to leave undone, or unattended to", wouldn't I be neglecting him if I stopped him from being able to figure out the answer to his question?

DS10's latest project is- If you gave one million people, one million dollars, what does that number look like? Do you know what's its called? I'll give you a hint, after DS10 & I figured out the answer to his question, it led us to a discussion on our country's national debt! Thankfully because we unschool, we had the freedom to shift gears from math into political history when we decided it was interesting to do so, not when the clock said we had to.

Unschooling parents aren't neglectful. We instead, understand how best to facilitate our children's natural desire for learning and growth. Our focus is on the individual child, not on equalizing an age group.

She may call me a lazy, unschooling mother, but if that were the case, wouldn't my children have modeled that? Why aren't they bored blobs, sitting on the couch all day? Oh wait, you mean I should not have modeled reading, writing, creating, growing, cleaning, exercising, sharing, problem solving, shopping, resting, curing, cooking, engaging, expressing, fixing, thinking, crying, laughing, wondering, etc... As an unschooling mother I was suppose to be a lazy, a self centered, sloth of a woman?

She obviously doesn't really know any unschooling moms. Prejudice is so ugly. Too bad she can't open her mind. Maybe its because to do so, would mean she would have to question her own educational philosophy. She may discover a flaw or two and those cracks in her glass house may cause it to crash apart. I pity bullies. They make themselves feel better by picking on others because inside, they are unsatisfied.

I will end this by assuring you, in our Sleepyhouse, we are more than satisfied with how well natural learning works.