In a house filled with video games, this kid is reading a book. He wasn't asked to. Its not an assignment. He rolled out of bed and like his mother, enjoys waking up his brain with reading. As Unschoolers, we didn't purchase any expensive reading curriculum and schedule our days around it. My son reads because he wants to. He saw us reading and we read to him everyday. That's all we did, I kid you not. He reads now because its important to him and he's interested in it. Why fool with self motivation?
We don't limit video game playing. They can play all they want. Interestingly, they don't choose to play as often as you would think. There are some games that require an investment of time, but my children know when they've had enough, and when they are ready to move on to something else.
TV has no limits either. TV is probably the thing my children spend the least amount of time with. I suppose if it was a forbidden fruit, they'd want to taste it more often.
A friend of mine was considering allowing her family to get the DISH network, but she was concerned her children's creativity would suffer. I don't think anything really crushes creativity except being told what to do, when to do it, and how it must be done.
My children have taken inspiration from media and games and their creativity has flourished. DS9 has a binder filled with hundreds of pages of game level ideas he hopes to develop someday. He hand drew each page. He also has several other binders filled with Artist Trading Cards he's created.
Often the neighborhood friends will show up at the door and DS will turn them away, "All they want to do is come inside and play video games. I want to play in the snow." On more than one occasion, DS has chosen to hide his game systems because it seemed like a more diplomatic solution to preventing fights over turns.
My children didn't quite understand why it was so difficult for their friends to share turns. I explained how their not homeschooled friends spend a great deal of time in a competitive environment, where access to fun is limited. They've been conditioned to take all they can get, when they can grab it.
I think my children's own competitive nature is one that is healthy. Of course there is some degree of typical competition among their peers and siblings, but they also have a self competitiveness that propels them forward. More often its about beating their own scores, or improving their own productivity. Their self esteem is coming from their own accomplishments rather than beating down someone else.
I know that by not setting limits, my children have been able to act on self motivation, and develop self discipline. They rarely are bored. They aren't expecting someone to entertain them. They know they can engage themselves with anything that stimulates their fancy.
As an Unschooling parent, its my responsibility to ensure my children aren't constricted by limits but rather exposed to healthy options.
Take food for example. I'm not in control of my children's hunger, but I do control what food they have access to. I should provide nutritious options, but its up for them to decide what they are craving. That's not to say I haven't provided not so nutritious options as well. If they aren't exposed to both, how will they learn that nutritious choices lead to health and happiness? (There are buckets of candy left over from Halloween in my pantry right now that prove my children know when enough if enough.)
In some ways, I'm a censor in that sense, but I'm only censoring stuff that I think will cause great harm. And it doesn't mean I have to censor it forever. You have to expose them to the good and the bad so they can practice making those choices and learning from the consequences while you're still around to guide and comfort them if they need it.
Being an Unschooling parent doesn't mean you're lazy. Quite the contrary! You are a primary role model in your child's life. You have to demonstrate all the positive qualities you want your children to develop. You have to be engaged with your children and tune in to their needs. Its not that your children go off and do their own thing. You have to share the experience with them, reading the books they read, playing the games they play. Being an Unschooling parent rocks because you are rewarded with the blessings of having a close relationship with your children.
I just love it when people say, "It must be so difficult to homeschool your children." Its not at all difficult if you enjoy spending time with them.
"How do you get them to mind you all day?" Uh..they don't misbehave really. They don't rebel either. I suppose giving them the freedom we do, they don't have a need to rebel. I also suppose sharing so much of our lives together we have developed a respect for one another as well.
The most difficult thing about Unschooling is just learning to trust it. As someone who went through the public school system, its conditioned in me, not to trust what God designed so perfectly in me. But these past 10 years have really de-programed me and now I get it. Its not about becoming someone that someone else thinks you should be, but discovering your God given talents and making the world a better place with them.
I have to get off my soapbox now. Kitty fight club is starting.
