Mulling through it....

I just want to get to Thursday already. I've had too many Craptastic days, (thanks Maija for my new favorite word). I just want to surround myself with family distractions to take my mind off of the cold, dark depression. Its been said depression is anger without passion. I've found myself going between depression and anger, but either way, I can't seem to release it all yet.

I'm finding myself forgetting stupid things such as, chocolate chips. How does someone like me, an admitted chocolaholic forget chocolate chips? I had planned on making CHOCOLATE CHIP pies for the holidays so there I was at the store, buying pie crusts, butter, pecans, and brown sugar. How could I forget the main ingrediant and namesake of the dessert? I had the butter and sugars creamed, about to drop in the eggs when I realized I had no freaking chocolate chips!!! There's a reason God put me within a few blocks of a Piggly Wiggly.

I had gotten into the van with the sole purpose of returning the library stuff. I drove right past the return box and the library! To say I'm easily distracted these days is an understatement.

I have tons of work I could be doing for the pool, but I can't get to where I need to be to get that done. I'm hoping after Thanksgiving, I can focus more.

We had our first stuck on the ground, measurable snowfall. It looked pretty, but it wasn't fun to drive in. I was grateful the sun came out mid-day and melted it off the roads. I guess I really should remove our wilted, decaying pumpkins and bring out the Christmas lights.

I wasn't going to put out the lights this year, but my neighbor set up a small yard display and I changed my mind. Seeing the lights really does boost your mood.

I've been trying to write down all the things popping into the boys' minds for later research. Normalily, when I'm not moping around, I have no problem fueling their interests, but lately, its an accomplishment if I can get the laundry and dishes done.

Jared asked me when the first sky scraper was built. He wants to know how they repair cracks in windows that high off the ground. I know I should be planning a trip to Chicago now.

Jared also said he's added seeing the Northern Lights onto his bucket list. I hope we have some soon. I could always count on them when I lived in northern Minnesota, but I don't see them as often here in southern Wisconsin. We may have to plan a trip north. (In the meantime, I must get to the library and get books on sky scrapers and Northern Lights!)

Amazing, I haven't gotten sick yet. Its all around me, but for now, I just feel like crap emotionally. Maybe the Emergen-C and blueberry tea is helping, but I know it will catch up to me evenutally. I haven't been able to sleep well and I can't get warm enough.

I'm going to turn off. I need to stop thinking because when I do, I can't focus on one thing long enough to think it through. I need to go back on auto-pilot for awhile.