I just may be finally getting it. Take it easy means, do nothing. Do not lift the laptop. Do not lift your plate of food. Do not bend over to pick up the dog's Kong.
After having a few days where I was beginning to feel I was turning the corner and possibly healing from this nightmare, I went to wash my hands and then reach ever so slightly sideways to grab a towel to dry off. Now I'm hating my life again.
Back pain is torturous. It messes with your spirit, not just your body.
I also made the mistake of looking at my incision in the mirror yesterday. I didn't expect it to look blood red with a black thread running through it. I expected it to be tiny, two inches. It's more like four. Add to the fact I haven't been able to really wash my hair properly I feel like the bride of Frankenstein. The black stitches should come out in 5 days, so I'm hoping I can take a long, real shower, shampooing and conditioning my hair.
Mostly I'm hoping for this pain to improve for good. Its a tease having a good day and then waking up and feeling worse than ever. I don't understand this healing process at all.
My loved ones remind me, I will feel better. I need to hang in there. This recovery is much more mental than physical. I cry a little and then feel better. I rest, take my medication and try to find patience with myself.
1 comment:
Having the patience for healing is frustrating - especially when you are used to being in control and always doing for others.
Keeping you in my prayers, and sending hugs to you for hanging in there, and for sharing your journey with us.
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