Thoughts For Thursday 10/21/10

Honestly I don't know how I'm managing to plow through these days and nights. I will admit, I have/had a virus. The coughing progressed and each new day when I had hoped to be back at 100%, a new symptom emerged. Yesterday it was a cramping stomach and when I attempted to speak more than a few sentences, uncontrollable dry coughing. This is not good when your job requires you to converse with the public.

Tuesday night I drugged, I mean dragged, myself to work thinking I shouldn't be there. Then when sweet little thing, after sweet little thing, stopped for their after lesson hand stamps, I realized why I was sick in the first place. Child after child, hacking away in my face, its amazing I hadn't become sick sooner. (I do still feel the propane exposure pushed me over the edge.)

Wednesday night I drove to work with severe stomach cramps. I almost called DH and said I can't drive, come get me, but I kept thinking about how continuing straight down the road, mile after mile, was bringing me closer to getting this night over with. I sipped tea and the distraction of work took my mind off my stomach. The worse of it was when I'd be on the phone trying to speak when all I wanted to do was hack. If all I had to do was smile and nod, I'd be set no problem.

Tonight I'll make it because its the last night of the week for me, and then I'll have two entire days where I get to decide what I choose to do. If I feel like laying around watching junk TV, so be it! 

Speaking of junk TV, I've been watching that Sister Wife show on TLC. Polygamy has always fascinated me. I can't fathom how anyone would want to share their spouse. I've always wondered why these woman settle for a part-time husband. To me that's not a true marriage.

I watched as wife #1 was trying to have a conversation with the husband, regarding her jealousy issues with wife#4 coming aboard. She asked him how he would feel if she was with another man. His response was very telling. He said his mind could not even fathom that because its "VULGAR" and against God. He also admitting saying this was hypocritical but he didn't care. He actually turned it back on her, saying she was the problem regarding the jealousy because it was her idea he hook up with wife #4.

I was disgusted. What a cruel, selfish man! He knows he is hurting wife #1, and probably #2 & #3 as well, but he doesn't care. His satisfaction comes first. He claims this is God's will, but I know God does not will for pain, jealousy and hurt for anyone.

I've always wondered why most of polygamy was so one sided, one man, many wives. Its just a way to put down women and create an artificial ego boost for the husband. Don't get me started on what I think it does to the children!  

The women on this show continue to claim how much they agree with this lifestyle, but you can't help but see their constant pain and wonder why are they choosing to live this way?!

Well, I better get off my soapbox and get ready for the rest of my day.