Its very timely for me, having Saint Lucia Day arrive this morning, after I've allowed these cold, darker days to creep into my soul and dim my light from within. Today is the Swedish celebration of Saint Lucia, a symbol of light and hope. I'm not eating saffron rolls, setting a crown of candles on my head or singing, but I am taking time to reflect on how I can get back on track.
Its bitterly cold outside. I call it death cold. Its the kind of cold that instantly freezes your nostrils and eyeballs. I know there must be a purpose to this weather, but its difficult for me to understand.
I'm finding it so easy to gravitate to the negative. I know this is a choice, but I don't understand why I'm choosing it. Is it the season? The weather? A combination of everything?
Although I haven't become sick with a flu or cold virus, my mood is off. I should be content my body is relatively healthy, but at the same time, it doesn't feel that way.
I think I need to stop being so emo, and count my blessings. There will never be total security to be found in this world, but if I look for them, I will find the stepping stones I need to keep me on the right path.
Blessing #1 - DH's toothache went away. He was so sure he had something seriously wrong and was in much pain. When we called our dentist, the recorded message said they were on holiday break until December 27th. I prayed for him and by the end of the weekend, the pain was gone. It must have been sinus nerves, but he knows he still will need to have it checked out after Christmas.
Blessing#2 - Our house is warm, there's food in the pantry/fridge, and everyone is healthy. Okay that's more than one blessing, but when you begin to count them, its easy to get carried away. I'll stop numbering them.
Blessings to come- direct deposit of DH's paycheck should arrive this week. In the mean time, it was a blessing the bills due now were able to be paid. I need to stop freaking out watching that balance fluctuate. This is always how it goes when you live paycheck to paycheck, something I've recently learned, most of America is having to do.
Blessing for today, I have the resources to buy soap. Sounds simple, but I'm grateful for even the small things today.
I may be feeling blue, and I may be unnecessarily beating up on myself, but I also know today I can stop and take a moment to plan for how to turn things around. I can light a candle and remember even one spark defeats total darkness.
I will have a Happy Lucia Day and reignite my light within, bringing warmth and comfort to myself and those I love.
5 comments:
I can see your light shining already, Dawn! Keep that flame burning and continue counting your blessings to feed it! ((HUG))
Happy Lucia Day to You and Your Family, I know the warmth and the light will keep you going. Just take it one day at a time.
Breathe. Then take it one day at a time. This holiday season has been really hard on me this year. First one without my mom. I'm just trying to get through it + counting the days until spring. We're all here for you. *hug*
Thanks friends! I will get through this one day at a time making simple, achievable goals for myself.
I am feeling much the same way you are. I find myself wanting to journal about it, but I can't, so I commend you on just stepping out and talking about it. ((((hugs)))) I pray things feel better for you soon.
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