I've been struggling. I'm writing this for me. I understand how its not uplifting to be around a depressed person, so I don't expect this to be read. So why write it? Because somehow when I write it out, instead of all the negativity bouncing around inside my being, it is released through the words, and I feel I can move forward.
I don't know if I'm experiencing side effects of the medication, (Tegretol), or if I'm having more neurological symptoms. I'm having trouble swallowing. Anything small often gets stuck. I seem to be able to swallow but then I feel it get stuck on the way down.
For awhile now my left hand drops things unexpectedly. I wouldn't describe it as a weakness, but rather when I'm holding something without me being aware of it, my hand just gives out for a brief second, and I drop what I'm trying to hold onto. Sometimes it happens when I'm trying to grab something, and I can't seem to get my fingers to work correctly.
More troubling is the fact I'm falling. Without any warning, in full stride, my left leg disappears, and I'm a one legged woman going from vertical to horizontal, down hard. I'm not tripping on anything. Its as if my left foot and leg are not there. It happens for a split second but without the nerve messages firing to my brain, my left leg and foot do not work.
I'm grateful I haven't broken anything. For the most part, I've always landed correctly to avoid injury, however last night I fell walking Rigby in the dark. I couldn't get my knee down to do my usual brace my fall and then roll move. Incorrectly, my arms came down first, so today I'm very sore.
It makes me angry at first, but then I'm overwhelmed with fear. What if I break a bone next fall? What if I hit my head? What if this happens to me at work or when I'm around strangers. I'll die of embarrassment!
The medication I'm on for my trigeminal neuralgia is a nerve blocker. It has taken away the paralyzing, lightening strikes of pain on my face, but could this be causing me to be dropping things and falling?
I'm also concerned about my blood work. Although it seems my liver is holding up to the medication, my lymphocyte level is still low. A low lymphocyte count could be an indication of MS or Guillain-Barre syndrome. With these neurological disorders, the sodium channels are blocked so nerves don't fire properly. Ironically, the medication I'm on for Trigeminal Neuralgia is a sodium blocker. So is my medication causing my symptoms or could I possibly have MS or GBS? People with MS often develop TN so that has me wondering if I have MS.
It's a confusing puzzle for me. I'm waiting to hear back from my doctor as to whether I should make another appointment for testing.
2 comments:
Well, Dawn, I did read your post, and I was happy to see that you have called your doctor. I was going to shout that out - see your doctor!
With no experience or knowledge of your problem, I won't even venture a guess to agree or disagree with you. Just see your physician. If you aren't satisfied with his/her answer, get a second opinion. It is worth the time and trouble to be comfortable with what you are being told.
I wish I was closer and could see you and talk with you and offer my support. Doing it like this doesn't help you like I would like to be able to help. Please keep us posted about what the doctor has to say. ((((HUGS))))
Thank you Terri. I'm waiting to hear back from my Dr. to see what the next step is. I don't want to be taken off of my medication so I'm nervous.
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