Saturday, July 30, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
ICU for 7/28/11
“This week we want to…”
Finish painting DS15's room, pay a little TLC attention to the rest of the house, buy a bike lock, renew my driver's license, haircuts - (I guess this is more what I want to accomplish.)
“The kids are…”
DS15 is still working on making his short film. He posted on his Facebook page the other day, "Making a movie is a challenge, but a challenge is what I'm after."
I'm so proud of him for sticking with it, despite all the challenges of making a film with a zero budget. I know he's having trouble scheduling actors. We suggested that he start a film making group in the area, and he'll meet more people interested in film making. They could learn from each other and support one another.
“I am learning….”
How to slow down. I'm not getting as much done, but quality is at times, more important than quantity. I'm applying this approach at work and connecting more with customers. I think its really paying off.
“I am struggling with…”
The summer weather. I'm burnt out, no pun intended. I need a nice cool, even briskly cold day to refresh my spirit. I'm a creature who craves change. Day after day of hot and humid, I feel like a flower wilting. Maybe its my genetic makeup, coming from cold weather stock, but I swear I'd rather add another layer than sit in this central air tight box another day.
“This week is the first time….”
I haven't been paying that close attention I guess. I can't think of any firsts this past week.
“I am grateful…”
My body heals. Sore arms from painting are feeling better now. Next came a sore knee, followed by a sore ankle. Thankfully, this morning, except for the typical sinus irritation, all my parts feel like working.
Hey, don’t head off just yet, we have a new thought for you to ponder this week.
What is the worst thing you ever forgot to do?
Honestly, I can't think of anything, but that's probably because I have a weak memory to begin with. If I forgot something serious, I have forgotten that I've forgotten it.
I know I forget stuff all the time. God did not give me a good memory. Maybe that's why I like to stick to being honest most of the time. You have to have a good memory to be a liar.
Mostly I can't remember dates or time frames. I cannot tell you what year I had my gall bladder removed, but I can remember my parents came to help out, and I watched Lord Of The Rings movies all day recovering from the out patient surgery.
I know my children's birthdates, but I can't put ages to specific memories like what happened to them when they were 7. I remember when my son got his finger caught under the skateboard and scraped away his entire fingernail, but I can't tell you how old he was when this happened. I just remember his body size. He ran to the one place he could think of to find physical comfort, his bed. He laid there clutching his wrist, holding his hand in the air, praying, "Please God! Please God! Make it stop hurting!" I remember feeling helpless, looking at his bleeding finger and realizing his fingernail was completely scraped off. I couldn't apply pressure to it. I couldn't wrap it up or put anything on it. All I could do is pray with him.
I remember emotions. I get lost in specifics.
I'm amazed at how my DH can recall not only every movie we've seen but what theater we saw it in! I'm grateful to have a partner who can fill in all the details of our life together since I'm severely lacking in this ability.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Realizations This Morning
I chugged my water and went back to the basics - banana/strawberry smoothie - and after dwelling in the land of the conscious, I'm realizing I'm not sick, although I wouldn't exactly say I'm feeling rested.
Yesterday we primed DS15's new room. The fumes stuck in my sinuses are probably what's triggering this downfall. Today I should paint, but after wearing too much primer to work last night, I'm wondering if heading to work a little green would be a good thing.
At least we have the color choice picked out. After looking at paint chips, DS15 & I chose one only to come home and realize its almost the same color that's in his current bedroom.
I'm also coming to realize that although I've been practicing relaxing meditations, I'm still not relaxing before I eat something. I've been trying to make healthier choices, but it dawned on this Dawn yesterday, I need to consciously stop before I eat anything, take several deep breaths, find peace and then begin to eat. On a subconscious level, my body is still in survival mode so my fat switch is still on.
I've been stuck in an exercising rut with this hot summer weather, yet I noticed my body felt achy. Am I getting old? Nope, its the physical work I've been getting trying to fix up the nest. Scraping wallpaper and rolling paint woke up some muscles I wasn't using walking.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
What A Photo Can Trigger In A Mother's Heart
I need a baby son to cuddle and rock. I need a toddler son I can help take those first steps. I need his 4 year old self, making peanut butter crackers for himself for the first time. I need the giggles and laughter at bedtime, the silly entertaining questions that never stop.
I'm proud of the young men they have become and being here, in this moment, as they transform before my very eyes, I enjoy imagining what their futures will bring. Yet I mourn for those years gone by, so many precious moments now only memories.
I'm blessed to have had every minute with them I was given. I still want a time machine though. I want to read Chicka Chicka Boom Boom one more time. I want to burrito wrap you and wear you in the sling, holding you as close to my heart as I can get. I want to race Matchbox cars and ride couch cushions down the stairs like sleds. I want to cut your sandwiches into shapes and make funny faces with fruit on our plate.
I'm happy we still go for hikes together, and I can introduce you to 80's rock. We get to watch grown up movies and compare social media notes. You teach me more than I teach you these days, and that's something wonderful I wouldn't trade for anything. When you leave my nest, will I be able to figure out the video camera by myself?
I'm learning to let go, but you should know I always will be here, when you need me. I wish I could have had more time to show you everything, but I understand now this wasn't my responsibility. I only had to show you where to find the wind. Your sails and tiller belong to you. You're on a journey I can't keep you from, with destinations I can only dream of.
Friday, July 22, 2011
I'm writing because I don't want to move and I feel like complaining.
Last night the roller coaster dropped out from under DH, but it appears the ride may finally be over. He was stressing over working on a project for his ex-coworker. It was going to be the final project and from this point on, he was going to say no. The stress isn't worth it. Well after spending several weeks dealing with this, the project got pulled from him. On the plus side, he doesn't have to stress over it anymore. On the minus, he most likely will not get paid for the time he's already put into it. I'm just happy it is finally over and he can cut the cord from all ties to his past employment. It was such a toxic situation. My DH is the type of guy who wants to help out when he can, but unfortunately helping this ex-coworker brought nothing but stress. They really took advantage of my husband and I'm happy this will never happen again.
After the brakes cooled on the above situation, DH & I went out for an impromptu date to the bigger library in the next town over. It was wonderful to browse for a hour, but I made the mistake of walking past the computer area. I'm always disgusted with how many creeps are viewing porn. I'm sure the librarians are too intimidated to stop them. At least this library has separate computer sections for teens and children.
Can I complain about something else that's been offending me? Have you seen that Summer's Eve hail to the V commercial? The first time I saw it, was before the Harry Potter movie, with my teen boys. I was appalled. Click Here to see the commercial. Was this appropriate to show before a family movie? (I know HP is PG/PG13, but still.) I'm more offended by the suggestion women need to make ourselves "clean" because men are "fighting for it." A man should honor a woman for who she is, not for what her vagina smells like!
I'll stop complaining now. I'm looking forward to having a real weekend with my family. There's no where we have to be, no where we have to go. We're going to work more on getting DS15's room ready and just go with the groove and see where life takes us.
Have a great weekend!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
ICU Meme for 7/20/11
“This week we want to…” Stay cool. With this heat wave, its almost impossible to do much outside. DS12 still insists on riding his bike several miles each day, and he comes back soaked. I can barely stand being outside long enough to water the garden. This weekend hopefully we'll get DS15's room at least primed for painting. The wallpaper came down easier than I expected. I also want to take advantage of some "back to school" sales, even though we aren't going "back to school." We all could use new shoes and I'm such a sucker for marker/colored pencil sales.
“The kids are…” DS15 finished making props for his movie. Apparently he raised the suspicion of someone driving by when he was spray painting his Nerf gun black. He kept thinking the police were going to pull up. Filming will begin soon. DS12 is improving his fitness, (see above.) Seriously, I wish I was able to commit to an exercise program like he does.
“I am learning….” How to make soap. I'm going to order my materials soon and gather equipment together. I'm hoping to be able to make soap that won't make my skin dry out.
“I am struggling with…” I haven't been walking. Its too hot outside, and I just can't stand the boredom of the treadmill. I'm making excuses, I know, but there's another part of me that wants a break. I feel like I'm juggling so much right now.
My dreams have been reflecting this. They are filled with anxiety. In one, our parakeet Tornado escaped from his cage. Suddenly he turned into a dozen birds, and I didn't know how to save them all before Yumi got any. I realized in the dream, GET THE CAT, not the birds.
I know this meant I need to figure out what the real threat is, and not let all the stressful details of life get to me. Its all in how I, "the cat", choose to respond to stress. Its not about focusing on how to solve it all, but rather, how not to let it get to me.
“This week is the first time….” I made Pesto. I used walnuts instead of pine nuts and froze it using an ice cube tray. I just thaw out as many cubes as we need and toss with freshly cooked pasta. The recipe I found doesn't use too much olive oil, and I of course threw in a few extra cloves of garlic! :)
“I am grateful…” For central air - Seriously, without it I'd be crying. I can't sleep unless I'm cool.
Hey, don’t head off just yet, we have a new thought for you to ponder this week.
Now, I do NOT believe it’s helpful to keep looking in the past, but sometimes what we’ve gone through can help others, so with that in mind……
If you could do it all over again, what is one thing you would choose to do differently in regards to homeschooling/unschooling? I would have trusted unschooling sooner. I wish I could go back and relax more. I didn't do a good job of modeling how to relax. I had to learn the hard way through the early years, how to trust unschooling. Thankfully kids are resilient and no permanent damage was done.Monday, July 18, 2011
Weekend Report 7/18/11
Friday I was feeling better and happy to know DH was going to be home early for a change. We headed out that night for our favorite Mexican restaurant. We normally don't go there on Fridays so it was a different crew. Our food was still excellent, but the service was lacking. We've always had wonderful experiences so it was a shock. When we go back, it will be a lunchtime thing on a weekend.
I had the grilled chicken tacos which don't come with cheese but rather just grilled meat in corn tortillas. They give you re-fried beans and a bowl of pico de gallo you can top your tacos with. I skip the corn shells and eat the grilled chicken piled high with the tomatoes, onion and peppers and beans. My family orders the steak version but they don't want their pico de gallo. They give it all to me!
I think this low or no gluten meal sits better with me. I'm tempted to try more gluten free meals, but it seems daunting to go completely gluten free.
Saturday I scraped away the last of the evil wallpaper. We are re-decorating the guest room to be a room for DS15. Using my friend's technique, it actually came down better than I expected. (Thanks Cherie!) First you rip the outer layer off, leaving the paper glue backing. Using a spray bottle with warm water, wet down the paper glue backing. Wait a minute or two and then scrape up a corner. Grab the loose paper with your hand and gently pull back the rest of the paper. You still have to scrape a bit, but you'll be amazed at how much of the paper comes off just pulling.
Saturday afternoon while driving to a co-worker's baby shower, I wondered why my legs felt so weak. I realized while scraping off the wallpaper, I was standing on beds most of the time. My legs had been basically on a rebounding trampoline all morning. Got a workout without thinking about it!
DH stayed home working, the boys had friends over, while I was at the shower. When I got home, we cooked up tacos because apparently, I didn't get enough re-fried beans the day before. LOL! My favorite comfort food lately- re-fried beans with onions, tomatoes and peppers, using those little circle taco chips to dip into it with. It must be all the heat that makes me want to eat the salt and hot, spicy food.
To beat the heat on Sunday, we all went to see Harry Potter. I thought it was okay, but of course, the books have so much more detail. Without spoiling anything, there is an event in the books that is gut wrenching, but in the movie it was portrayed with distance. I was really disappointed. I really think it would have been better to have a series on TV, with each book being a season. There's just so much lost detail in the movies.
DS15 has begun rehearsing/filming his movie. He almost has the props built. I have to take him to the hardware store to buy spray paint. I think its ridiculous he can't buy this on his own - stupid laws.
DS12 has been making me nervous exercising outside in this heat. He goes for daily bike rides and comes back dripping. I've warned him about heat exhaustion, but I have to let go and allow him to be responsible for his own body. He tells me his route and I watch the clock. I know he'll make safe choices, but he's still my baby. :)
This week ahead, I'm going to try and beat the heatwave, spending much of our time indoors in the central air.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
ICU Meme for 7/13/11
It’s Wednesday, so that can only mean one thing…….we need the I-CU!
Intensive Care for the Christian Unschooler– this will be a weekly meme (you post the questions to your blog each Wednesday that you are able, using one of the buttons to link back here, and hop over here and add your site to the linky at the bottom.)
“This week we want to…” Take down evil wallpaper, compost the dying spring veggie plants and plant something new, help DH get through a stressful work load.
“The kids are…” DS15's movie script is done, and I suppose he'll be recruiting his friends to play the parts. I wonder if one day he'll write a part for me? :)
“I am learning….” How to make soap. My skin really doesn't like the store bought kind anymore, and I want to start making my own natural soap.
“I am struggling with…” Eating fruit. I've recently learned that the natural sugars in fruit could be working against my weight loss goals. Cutting out cookies was difficult enough, but right now summer time fruit is so abundant and so delicious. I love fruit! I'm not sure I'm ready to take this step, giving up fruit. I may try cutting back, or just adding more veggies to my diet, but my freezer is loaded with mulberries, blueberries, peaches, pineapple, strawberries and bananas. I was stocking up for a long smoothie run. I had a nightmare last night about trying to make healthy eating choices.
“This week is the first time….” I didn't try to find things to worry about. Thinking about how one day, this world really won't be here forever, I realized how ridiculous it is to worry, especially over petty issues. One day we'll all be somewhere else. What really matters is how we treat each other right now.
“I am grateful…” I have been given yet another day to love those around me. I will not allow stress to distract me from being a loving person.
Hey, don’t head off just yet, we have a new thought for you to ponder this week.
“The biggest change I’d like to see take place in my family in the remainder of 2011 is…..” We all get more exercise. I love how DH is walking more with DS12, but our weekends have been busy. We used to hike a lot more often. I hope we will get back to it soon, although this coming weekend its going to be dangerously hot.
Have a blessed week!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Weekend Report 7/11/11
We had a great visit with my parents as they wrapped up their trip. We made my father's recipe spaghetti and had family over for Sunday supper. YUM! Sunday was also a day of rest to catch up from our out of town trip Friday/Saturday.
We drove to K-town for DS12 to participate in the postponed Firecracker run. He did great for his first 5K! I'm so proud of him. G-Ma did awesome too! Maybe next year the rest of our family will run/walk.
After the race, we strolled the farmer's market along the lakefront and picked up a most delicious garlic sourdough bread. It actually has chunks of garlic clove baked right into it! I'm going to have to try baking one of these myself.
DH shopped a unique men's wear store, Mike Bjorn's Tuxedos, and picked up several awesome ties for only .95 each. Its definitely not "blah mart".
Saturday night, I was feeling iffy, but thankfully I never really did get sick. I think it was the ginger snap cookies my mom shared from Trader Joes that helped me feel better. :) Thanks Mom! Of course now I'll have to plan a trip to Trader Joes to pick up some for myself.
We have ambitious plans to remodel the guest room this week into DS15's own room. With little sleep and no power this morning, our plans are off to a rough start. The storm blew in and changed our course. Maybe tomorrow I'll have the chance to remove the wallpaper border.
DARN! We just lost power for a moment! They must still be trying to fix things after the storm. Thankfully my laptop backed this up, but I better log off.
Friday, July 08, 2011
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
ICU Meme for 7/7/11
“This week we want to…” Get back on track. Not that any day is typical in our Sleepyhouse, but with so much coming and going this past holiday weekend, we're looking forward to being in the nest and following our own pursuits.
“The kids are…” Setting their own goals. DS12 told me he wants to make a new "things to do this summer" list, since he's already reached the goals he made previously. DS15 has been filming and editing all sorts of videos he's shot. I asked if he wants to move from documentaries and short fiction to possibility developing a pilot.
“I am learning….” How to add more nutrition to our diets. Added fresh ground flax seed meal to the menu this week in cereals and smoothies. Experimenting with green leafy smoothies too. I think I like drinking my salad.
I'm also learning how weight loss is so difficult due to the toxins that are stored in fat. Your body doesn't want to release those toxins so it actually fights against burning fat cells. I'm hoping to cleanse out the toxins with cruciferous veggies, water and exercise.
“I am struggling with…” The heat. My Nordic blood prefers cooler days. So do my sugar snap peas. :(
“This week is the first time….” I ate Swiss Chard. It rocks!
“I am grateful…” tonight is my last night of work for the week. There is so much to get done around the house with this being a short week due to the holiday last Monday.
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
Weekend Report 7/5/11
Friday morning mom and I got up early and made 21 jars of strawberry jam. Her recipe doesn't use pectin and its fairly simple. Bring four cups of mashed berries and two cups of sugar to a boil, skimming off the foam. Cook for 5 minutes. Add two more cups of sugar and bring to a boil again. Continue skimming and cook for another 5 minutes. You have to cook the batches of berries in quarts, you cannot double the recipe or the jam won't set. We had two pots going at a time and on the other stove top burners, we processed and canned our jam.
We went out for lunch with dad and the boys after jamming and did a little shopping in the afternoon. Friday evening we enjoyed sandwiches and my sister and nephew came over to visit.
On Saturday, DS12 & G-Ma were suppose to participate in the Firecracker walk. Unfortunately a wind storm on Thursday night fell too many trees, and the race was postponed. We didn't learn of this until arriving Saturday morning for the race. DS12 was disappointed, but we'll head back to K-town next weekend for the rescheduled race. We still spent a great day with G-Ma hanging out in K-town and saw some incredible tree roots.
Sunday we drove down to my brother's house for my niece's graduation party. It was wonderful to see extended family and the weather cooperated beautifully.
Monday the 4th back home, we spent the morning at the parade. Afterward we had lunch out and then came home to digest and cool off. The fireworks at dusk were amazing. I'm always impressed at how our small town pulls off such a huge firework show. It feels like you are watching a non-stop finally. Every year it just keeps getting bigger.
Now I'm trying to get back to the usual, but its slow going. At least tomorrow is Wednesday already. :)